TEMPTATION 試探
鄉村老鼠和城市老鼠
有一隻城市老鼠來到鄉村探望一位朋友。這鄉村老鼠朋友拿出最好的來款待他的賓客，當中有燕麥片、豌豆、一小塊煙肉，還有一片芝士作為甜點。當這位賓客正在進膳時，鄉村老鼠因禮貌和恐防那精美食物不足的原故，沒有一同享用。他伴著賓客，但自己卻只細咬了一小塊麥稈。城市老鼠進膳完畢後對鄉村老鼠說：「老朋友，非常感謝你的殷勤款待，但我一定要坦率跟你講，真不明白你怎能承受生活在這可憐的小洞裡，為何不跟我到城市過歡樂的生活，那裡有各樣好吃的東西？你真的是在這寂靜的地方浪費你的一生。來吧！跟我走，讓我向你介紹那美好的城市啊。」經過一輪冗長的爭辯之後已到夜深，鄉村老鼠終於同意到城市去一趟。他們一同起行，到了將近子夜的時候，他們進到城市老鼠所住的大宅，在飯廳中已擺放著豐富的筵席。城市老鼠穿梭於飯桌之間並顯出很了不起的神態和風度，又拿出最佳美食來款待這位鄉村老鼠。當這位朋友看著這麼多的好東西就顯得十分驚喜，他開始盡情地去享用。忽然之間，飯廳的內門被強勁地推開，一大群邊嘻笑，邊傾談的人走進來，後面還跟著一隻又吠又在廳裡亂跑的大狗。老鼠急著朝著鼠洞使勁地逃，而那鄉村老鼠更嚇得幾乎要死去似的。當他能說出話來的時候就這樣說：「哎喲！若這就是所謂的城市生活，那我已領受夠了。你喜歡的話，你就留在這處好地方吧！我情願回到我寧靜的洞穴，享用我簡單的燕麥片和豌豆。」
The Country Mouse And The City Mouse
A mouse from the city went on a visit to a friend in the country. The country mouse brought out the best he had and waited on his guest. There was plenty of oatmeal and peas, a nice scrap of bacon, and even a piece of cheese for dessert. While the guest was dining, the country mouse, out of politeness, would eat none of these dainties for fear there would not be enough. He just nibbled a piece of straw to keep his guest company. When the dinner was over, the city mouse said, “Old friend, I thank you for your courtesy, but I must have a plain talk with you. I do not see how you can bear to live this poor life in a hole. Why not come with me to the city where you will have all sorts of good things to eat and have a gay time? You are really wasting your life in this quiet place. Come with me, and I will show you how fine the city is.” After being urged a long time, the country mouse at last agreed to go to the city that very night. So they started off together, and at about midnight came to the great house where the city mouse lived. In the dining room was spread a rich feast. The city mouse, with many airs and graces, ran about the table, picked out the nicest bits, and waited on his country friend. The friend was amazed at the good things, and he ate to his heart’s content. All at once the doors of the dining room were flung open, and in came a crowd of people, laughing and talking. They were followed by a big dog, who barked loudly and ran about the room. The mice rushed for the hole to escape, and the little field mouse almost died of fright. As soon as he was able to speak, he said, “Well, if this is city life, I have seen enough of it. Stay in this fine place if you like. I will be very glad to get home to my quiet hole and my plain oatmeal and peas.” From Beka Reading Series
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飲食的試探
男人和女人共同不願意爲了健康的緣故而放棄的食物：
所有甜點 －30％
肉排／肉類 －25％
Pizza意大利比薩餅 －14％
汽水 －8％
漢堡包 －7％
Temptations Under the Fork
Foods men and women say they are unwilling to give up for the sake of health:
All sweets – 35%
Steak/meat – 25%
Pizza – 14%
Pop/soda – 8%
Hamburgers – 7%
Source: Kraft Foods, Inc (USA Today, Feb. 20, 1996)
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史蒂夫敍述有關一位來自瑞士的女士在一國内航班飛機上從空姐手中接受她的食品後馬上把甜品打開，發現是一個十分誘人可口的巧克力蛋糕。她立刻撒了許多鹽和胡椒粉在其上，空中小姐看了馬上驚叫起來：「哎呀！你幹嘛這樣做？”那婦女微笑著說：“那樣就能禁止我去吃它了！」
Steve Goodier tells about a woman from Switzerland who was served dinner on a domestic American flight. She immediately opened up her dessert, a delicious-looking piece of chocolate cake, and she immediately heavily salted and peppered it. The flight attendant was shocked and said, “Oh! Why did you do that?!”
The woman replied, still smiling, “It keeps me from eating it!” (2)
One Minute Can Change a Life (Life Support System Publishing, Inc., 1999).
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有一天一個做父親的告訴他的兒子說：「兒子，聼好！不准在這水渠内游泳。」他回答說：「好的，爸爸。」然而當天傍晚他就手裏拿著一條濕漉漉的泳褲回來。父親馬上嚴厲的問他：「你到過哪兒來了？」他回答：「在水渠裏游泳。」「我不是吩咐過你不准在水渠裏游泳嗎？」父親責問。「是的，您說過了。」兒子老實的承認。「那你又爲什麽明知故犯？」父親問。「爸爸，」他解釋：「我帶著泳褲，而且我禁不起誘惑。」 父親問道：「那你幹嘛帶著泳褲呢？」。他回答：「萬一我被誘惑時，我就有備無患了。」
One day a father said to his son, “Now, son, don’t swim in that canal.” “OK, Dad,” he answered. But he came home carrying a wet bathing suit that evening. “Where have you been?” demanded the father. “Swimming in the canal,” answered the boy. “Didn’t I tell you not to swim there?” asked the father. “Yes, Sir,” answered the boy. “Why did you?” he asked. “Well, Dad,” he explained, “I had my bathing suit with me and I couldn’t resist the temptation.” “Why did you take your bathing suit with you?” he questioned. “So I’d be prepared to swim, in case I was tempted,” he replied.
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一個大城市内，有一個牧師停車在禁止停車的地帶，因爲他趕時間又找不到有計時錶的車位。他就寫了一個字條夾在汽車擋風玻璃上的雨刷下，説明：「我已經環繞這棟樓有十圈之多。若我不停放在這兒，我將會錯過了我的約會。請饒恕我們的過犯。」當他回到車子時，他發現在他的字條旁邊多了一行警察所留下的印證：「我已經環繞這棟樓有十年之久，若我不開罰單給你，我將會失去我的工作。請不要使我們遇見試探。」
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn’t find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read:
“I have circled the block 10 times. If I don’t park here, I’ll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses.”
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note: “I’ve circled this block for 10 years. If I don’t give you a ticket I’ll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.”
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受試探與犯罪有很大的差別，好像魚看見釣上魚餌就在它周圍游來游去，捨不得離開，那是試探；但如果魚將魚餌吞下上當了，那是犯罪。
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宣教士約翰．湯姆士在印度恆河，對看群眾講道。突然有一位宗教領袖質問：「先生，你剛才不是說魔鬼引誘人犯罪嗎？」湯姆士回答：「不錯，我是這樣說過。」那人追問：「既然如此，罪在魔鬼，魔鬼應當受到懲罰，人是無辜的。」
宣教士安靜禱告片刻，尋找聖靈的光照，之後發現有一條船沿看河流而下，搭載了若干乘客。他就轉向群眾說：「朋友們，你們都看見那條船吧：假如我差一個人去把船上的人都殺光，奪下他們的財物，拿來給我。究竟誰該受罰：是唆使別人行凶的我，還是受我擋使去行刺的人呢。」那位領袖搶看答腔：「你們兩人都得處死。」湯姆士同意他的見解：「他說得對！任何人和魔鬼聯手犯罪，那麼他跟魔鬼都將受到永恆的懲罰。」
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Quotes引證 :
You are not tempted because you are evil: you are tempted because you are human. Fulton Sheen
What is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after. Ernest Hemingway.
When we say a tree is firmly rooted, we do not say the wind never blows upon it. John Owen
I am more afraid of my own heart than of the pope and all his cardinals. I have within me the great pope, Self. Martin Luther
You cannot play with the animal in you without becoming wholly animal; play with falsehoods without forfeiting your right to truth, play with cruelty without losing your sensitivity of mind. He who wants to keep his garden tidy doesn’t reserve a plot for weeds. Dag Hammarskjold
This is the great work of a man: always take the blame for his own sins before God and to expect temptation to his last breath. St. Anthony
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice. Mark Twain.
Nothing brings more pain than too much pleasure; nothing more bondage than too much liberty. Benjamin Franklin
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THANKSGIVING 感恩
某位父親曾長久以來是個暴怒對家人咆哮的人，有一天他和家人坐在客廳接待賓客，有個關於上桌的食物問題出現，他的孩子中有位小女孩當時正非常巧妙地告訴賓客每位家人最喜歡吃的是什麼，最後輪到提及父親時，父親笑著問她：「南茜，那我喜歡的是什麼呢？」小女孩慢慢地說：「你，好吧！你最喜歡的是任何我們還沒得到的東西。」
A certain father was a chronic growler. He was sitting with his family in the presence of a guest in the parlor one day when the question of food came up. One of the children, a little girl, was telling the guest very cleverly what food each member of the family liked best. Finally it came to the father's turn to be described. “And what do I like, Nancy?” he asked laughingly. “You,” said the little girl slowly, “well, you like most anything we haven't got.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 145)
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不幸地，就算在基督徒中也有些總是愛抱怨的人，有個這類型的女人她對每件事和每個人都發牢騷，但至少有位傳道人發現了些她無法抱怨的事，也就是這位女士做的馬鈴薯片絕對是這方圓百里內外最好吃的，所以當他在街上遇見這個女人時，他帶著燦爛的笑容對她說「啊！你一定有感到滿意過一次吧！這一年每個人都在說你做的馬鈴薯片有多棒！」這位女士瞪著他回答：他們才沒那麼窮，但是那兒有夠糟的來餵這群豬呢？
Unfortunately, even among Christians there are those who are chronic grumblers. A woman of this type grumbled at everything and everybody. But at last the preacher thought he had found something about which she could make no complaint—the lady's crop of potatoes was certainly the finest for miles around. “Ah, for once you must be pleased,” he said with a beaming smile as he met her in the village street. “Everyone is saying how splendid your potatoes are this year.” The lady glared at him as she answered, “They're not so poor. But where's the bad ones for the pigs?” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 144)
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A large family sat around the table for breakfast one morning. As the custom was, the father returned thanks, blessing God for the food. Immediately afterward, however, as was his bad habit, he began to grumble about hard times, the poor quality of the food he was forced to eat, the way it was cooked, and much more. His little daughter interrupted him saying, “Father, do you suppose God heard what you said a little while ago?” “Certainly,” replied the father with the confident air of an instructor. “And did He hear what you said about the bacon and the coffee?” “Of course,” the father replied, but not as confidently as before. Then his little girl asked him again, “Then, Father, which did God believe?” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 141)
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“Thankful? What have I to be thankful for? I can’t pay my bills.”
“Then, man alive, be thankful you are not one of your creditors.”
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
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An old Yiddish folk story tells of a well-to-do gentleman of leisure much interested in the Hebrew Scriptures. He visited a wise rabbi to ask a question. He said: “I think I grasp the sense and meaning of these writings except for one thing. I cannot understand how we can be expected to give God thanks for our troubles.” The rabbi knew instantly that he could not explain this with mere words. He said to the gentleman: “If you want to understand this, you will have to visit Isaac the water-carrier.” The gentleman was mystified by this, but knowing the rabbi to be wise, crossed to a poor section of the settlement and came upon Isaac the water-carrier, an old man who had been engaged in mean, lowly, backbreaking labor for some fifty years.
The gentleman explained the reason for his visit. Isaac paused from his labors. Finally, after several minutes of silence, looking baffled, he spoke: “I know that the rabbi is the wisest of men. But I cannot understand why he would send you to me with that question. I can’t answer it because I’ve had nothing but wonderful things happen to me. I thank God every morning and night for all his many blessings on me and my family.”
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Seven things to be thankful for:
* for automatic dishwashers. They make it possible to get out of the kitchen before the family come in for their after-dinner snacks.
* for husbands who attack small repair jobs around the house. They usually make them big enough to call in professionals.
* for the bathtub -- the one place the family allows Mom some time to herself.
* for children who put away their things and clean up after themselves. They’re such a joy you hate to see them go home to their own parents.
* for gardening. It’s a relief to deal with dirt outside the house for a change.
* for teenagers. They give parents an opportunity to learn a second language.
* for smoke alarms. They let you know when the turkey’s done.
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Lord, thank you for this sink of dirty dishes; we have plenty of food to eat. Thank you for this pile of dirty, stinky laundry; we have plenty of good clothes to wear. And I would like to thank you, Lord, for those unmade beds; they were so warm and comfortable last night. I know that many have no bed.
My thanks to you, Lord, for this bathroom, complete with all the splattered mirrors, soggy, grimy towels, and dirty lavatory; they are so convenient. Thank you for this finger-smidged refrigerator that needs cleaning inside and out. It has served us faithfully for many years and has enough food in it for several meals. Thank you, Lord for this oven that absolutely must be cleaned today. It has baked so many things over the years.
The whole family is grateful for that tall grass that needs mowing and the lawn that needs raking; we all enjoy the yard. Thank you, Lord, even for that slamming door; my kids are healthy and able to run and play.
Lord, the presence of all these chores awaiting me says that you have richly blessed my family. I shall do them cheerfully and I shall do them gratefully.
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韓信自小喪父，家境窮苦，他不會種田，又不會做生意，整天遊蕩，餓了就到朋友家去吃一頓，老母因沒人供養，最後竟愁苦而死。南昌亭長和韓信交情不錯，韓信常到他家吃便飯，結果惹得亭長之妻大為不滿，就故意把開飯的時間挪前延後，韓信吃不到飯，知道自討無趣，也就不再去了。可是，還是天天在外鬼混，一天玩過一天。有時，肚子實在太餓了，他就到淮陰城下釣魚，釣了魚就拿到市場叫賣，勉強糊口，釣不到時，就只有餓肚子。釣魚的河邊每天都有許多女子在洗衣服，其中有個人稱漂母的老婆婆常把午飯分一半給韓信，韓信很感動，便對老婆婆說：「將來我有辦法時，一定好好報答您！」話沒說完，漂母就瞪著眼睛罵人：「大丈夫不能謀生，潦倒成這個樣子，我看你七尺鬚眉，像個王孫公子，不忍心才給你飯食，幾時想要你報答了？」說完就走。韓信深受激勵，望著漂母漸漸消逝的背影，暗暗立誓，日後發跡時，一定要重重的謝她。不久，他就離開了家鄉，投軍去了。後來果然成了劉邦手下最有謀略、最饒勇善戰的大將軍，只是等到他後來回鄉尋找漂母時，她老人家早已不知去向了。-----歐洲某一陳列室陳列了一幅名畫，這幅名畫內容是畫著一隻大船給洶湧的怒浪擊破。海面上漂浮著許多險中待救的人。其中兩人因為抓著破皮筏而游泳到礁石上得以脫險，礁石上豎起一個十字架，一位脫險得救的人，一隻手攀緊十字架感謝上帝說「上帝啊！我感謝你，因為你使我在驚險危難中，得拯救。」。另一位在險中得救者，一樣為自己得以保存生命而向上帝感恩。所不同的，他為著自己能得救，感謝讚美主之外，他把一隻手抓著十字架，再伸出另一隻手，求上帝使他藉這隻手，能夠去救別人。這是基督徒在感恩時也應該有的表現，因為耶穌基督先已實現如此的捨己救人的大愛。
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Quotes引證 :
It is not the happy people who are thankful; it is the thankful people who are happy.
I built my talents on the shoulders of someone else’s talent. I believe greatness is an evolutionary process that changes and evolves era to era. Without Julius Erving, David Thompson, Walter Davis, and Elgin Baylor, there would never have been a Michael Jordan. I evolved from them. Michael Jordan
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TIME 時間
Internet quotes:
I am so busy that I don't even have time to tweet.
I am so busy that I don't even have time to think for myself.
I am so busy that my time to spend on housekeeping is fairly limited.
I am so busy that my kids are missing out.
I am so busy that I simply don't have the time to watch what I eat
I am so busy that I have had a hard time sitting down and listening to God's word
To be honest, I am so busy that I really don't have time to pick any hobbies.
Sometimes I am so busy that I do not think I am cleaning or cooking the way I should for my daughter.
I am so busy that I don't have time to hit the gym, and at night, when I do get an hour or so, I am too tired to go.
I am so busy that most times I don't get enough time for breaks, let alone lunch.
To be honest, I am so busy that I rarely have time to feel lonely.
There are times when I am so busy that I rarely have time to sleep.
These days I am so busy that I don’t know what’s keeping me busy.
I am so busy that I don’t have time for long, lingering restaurant lunches and what not.
Sometimes, I am so busy that I do not even have time to call home.
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Anonymous: Titus, the emperor of Rome, had the symbol of a dolphin wound around an anchor inscribed on coins during his reign. The anchor represented delay and unchanging conviction. The dolphin was regarded as the swiftest and most mercurial creature of the sea. Together they symbolized the failure that comes from rushing into something, and the failure that is the result of hesitation or undue caution. Through the years, the dolphin and the anchor have been used as his family crest, with the explanatory motto Festina Lente, “Hasten Slowly.” It expresses moderation between two opposing ideas. It means the medium between acting too quickly and waiting too long. Appleseeds.org
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一位既年輕又成功的行政人員風馳電掣地駕著他簇新的積架車往鄰近的街道駛去。 當他以為看見些甚麼的時候，他慢駛下來看看是否有小孩從停泊的車輛中間奔走出來。當他駛經的時候並沒有發現有小孩，但突然有磚塊被投擲到他的積架側門上！他立刻重踩他的剎車系統，並倒車到那磚塊被擲出的位置。這位怒氣衝天的駕駛者快速地從車裡出來，抓著最近的其中一個小朋友，推他貼著一輛停泊著的車上大聲喊叫：「這是怎麼一回事，你是誰？你到底搞甚麼明堂。那一輛是我的新車，你將要為擲出的磚塊付上沉重的代價，你為何要這樣做？」那年輕的孩子帶著歉意：「求求你，先生、求求你，我非常抱歉，但又不知如何是好？」他辯稱說：「我拋擲那磚塊是因為沒有人阻止。」他的眼淚已流到臉額上，並用手指指向一輛停泊著的車，並說：「那是我的弟弟，他的輪椅撞上了行人路翻側了並跌了出來，而我無法把他扶起來。」。那淚盈滿眶而又喊到濕透了的孩子請求那驚魂未定的行政人員：「你能否幫忙扶起我弟弟坐穩在輪椅上呢？他已經受了傷，而他的體重我應付不來。」這時，那位行政人員原想說出口的都像滯在喉部嘗試吞嚥脹起的小塊。他趕快地扶起那殘障的小孩到輪椅上，並拿出亞麻布的手帕輕觸那刮傷和割傷之處。他很快看了一眼就知道一切都妥當了。那帶著感恩的小孩道出：「感謝你，願神祝福你。」那人激動得無法言喻，只看著那小孩在行人道上推著他弟弟的輪椅回家去。那人緩慢而冗長地走回他明顯毀損的積架車，但他再不計較要把那損壞塌陷的側門修復。他保留著車門上那道塌陷的痕跡來提醒自己“別讓生命經歷得過快而須要別人向你投擲一塊磚頭才能喚起的注意！
A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag’s side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, “What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That’s a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?” The young boy was apologetic. “Please, mister...please! I’m sorry but I didn’t know what else to do,” he pleaded. “I threw the brick because no one else would stop!” With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. “It’s my brother,” he said. “He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can’t lift him up.” Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, “Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He’s hurt and he’s too heavy for me.” Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. “Thank you and may God bless you,” the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message “Don’t go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!”
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想像一下，如果有一家銀行。每天早上在你的帳戶中存入八萬六千四百元。
當天的餘額不能挪至次日，每晚它便把你當天沒有用完的餘額刪除。
你會怎麼做呢？當然是領出每一分錢囉！
我們每個人都有一家這樣的銀行，它的名字叫「時間」。每天早上它都在你的帳裡存入八萬六千四百秒。
美天晚上它就把你沒有好好投資而損失掉的時間註銷。
它不會延續餘額，也不允許透支。每天它都幫你開立新帳戶，晚上即幫你結清。
要是你沒有用完當天的存款，是你自己的損失。
不可能回到過去，也不可能從「明天」預支。
你必須活在當下，靠今天的存款度日。投資時間，以便能獲得最大的健康、快樂和成功！
時鐘不停地向前走，善用今日的時光。
要了解一年的價值，去問一個留級的學生。
要了解一個月的價值，去問一位早產的母親。
要了解一週的價值，去問一位週報的編輯。
要了解一天的價值，去問一位有小孩要養的日薪工人。
要了解一小時的價值，去問一個等待見面的戀人。
要了解一分鐘價值，去問一個錯過火車的人。
要了解一秒的價值，去問一個差點兒發生意外的人。
要了解千分之ㄧ秒的價值，去問一個在奧運中得到銀牌的人。
珍惜你所擁有的每一刻。如果你是與某個特別的人共度某一時刻，要更加珍惜，因為這個人很特別，值得你花這個時間。記住，歲月不待人。
昨日是歷史，
明日不可知，今日是禮物---那就是爲何present 這個自既是「現在」也是「禮物」！ http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/dnei168/article?mid=-2&next=491&l=a&fid=16
Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400। It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course! Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the “tomorrow.” You must live in the present on today’s deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today. To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade. To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby. To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper. To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet. To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train. To realize the value of ONE-SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident. Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time. Remember that time waits for no one. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present!
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When James A. Garfield was president of Hiram College in Ohio he was approached by the father of a prospective student.
“Can’t you simplify the course?” the father inquired. “My boy wants to get through by the shorter route.”
“I can arrange for that,” answered Garfield. “It all depends on what you want to make of him. When God wants to make a mighty oak, He takes a hundred years. When He wants to make a squash, He requires only two months.”
-- Via The Sower, Arthur church of Christ in Arthur, IL.
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醫生：我有一個壞消息和一個非壞的消息告訴你。
病人：你還是先告訴我那壞消息吧！
醫生：實驗室打電話來報導了你檢驗的結果。他們說你只剩二十四個小時的存活機會。
病人：二十四個小時？！那太可怕了！還有比這更糟糕的事嗎？那非常壞的消息又會是什麽呢？
醫生：我從昨天就一直在找你。
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! That’s terrible! WHAT could be WORSE? What’s the very bad news?
Doctor: I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday
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A Short History of Medicine
2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. - That antibiotic doesn’t work anymore. Here eat this root…
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柏納‧巴魯克：一位已被判處死刑的人得到緩刑，但他要在一年內確保能教導那匹皇家禦騎的馬懂得飛翔。但有一條件，就是若不成功的話，到年終他會再度被處決。他後來解釋說：「一年之內，皇帝可能會先死，或我也可能會死，或那馬也可能會死。而且，一年流流長，誰知可怎樣呢？或許那匹將學會飛翔。」
Bernard Baruch: A man sentenced to death obtained a reprieve by assuring the king he would teach his majesty’s horse to fly within the year - on the condition that if he didn’t succeed, he would be put to death at the end of the year. “Within a year,” the man explained later, “the king may die, or I may die, or the horse may die. Furthermore, in a year, who knows? Maybe the horse will learn to fly.”
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An efficiency expert was driving through the country side when he noticed an old farmer in an apple orchard feeding his pig. What he saw drove him absolutely crazy, for the farmer was holding the pig over his head and moving him from apple to apple while the pig ate happily. He turned around, parked and walked up to the farmer saying “Hey there old timer have I got a good idea for you”. The farmer asked him what it was and the Expert continued, “Just put the pig on the ground, get a stick, knock the apples to the ground and let the pig eat them there. It sure will save a lot of time.”
The old farmer thought about this while he moved his pig to another apple and finally said, “Aw shucks, mister, what’s time to a pig?”
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有一天，當樊克靈．賓正在忙於預備印行他的報紙時，有一位顧客已在他商店裡用了差不多一小時在瀏覽一些不同種類的大減價書籍。
最後他拿了其中一本向店員走去查詢價錢。
助理店員回答他說：「一塊錢。」
顧客說：「一塊錢，能否賣平宜一點呢？」
助理回答說：「不，價錢就是一塊錢。」
顧客說著要見樊克靈先生的時候，樊克靈先生正從後房間出來，顧客就問他那本書賣多少錢。
樊克靈說：「一塊錢零兩毫半。」
那顧客往後傾著說：「你的助理說只賣一塊錢。」
樊克靈說：「若你當初從他那裡買的話，我也是只賣你一塊錢，但你使我離開我正在忙著的工作呀。」
顧客仍強詞：「不是吧，樊克靈，那最平你收我多少呢？」
樊克靈說：「一塊半錢。我們再是這樣討論下去，你就越佔用我的時間，那我就要你多付了。
One day, Ben Franklin was busy preparing his newspaper for printing when a customer stopped in his store and spent an hour browsing over the various books for sale. Finally he took one in his hand and asked the shop assistant the cost.
The assistant answered, “One dollar.”
The customer said “A dollar. Can’t you sell it for less?”
The assistant replied, “No, the price is a dollar.”
The customer said that he wanted to see Mr. Franklin. When Franklin appeared from the back room, the customer asked how much he wanted for the book.
Franklin said, “One dollar and a quarter.”
The customer was taken aback. “Your assistant only asked for a dollar.”
Franklin said, “If you had bought it from him, I could sell it t you for a dollar, But you have taken me away from the business I was engaged in.”
The customer pressed on. “Come on, Mr. Franklin, what is the lowest you can take for it?”
Franklin said, “One dollar and a half. And the longer we discuss it, the more of my time you are taking up and the more I’ll have to charge you.” (Business 358)
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有一個人走進寵物店想買一隻萬能的寵物。店主建議他買一隻忠心的狗。這人回答說：「不會吧！小狗？！」店主說：「那麼貓如何呢？」這人又說：「不要，貓當然什麼都不會。我要一隻什麼都會的寵物。」
店主想了一會，然後說：「我知道了，就一隻蜈蚣吧！」這人說：「蜈蚣？我不能想像一隻蜈蚣做任何事的樣子，不過，好的，我就買一隻吧！」他就買了一隻回家並對牠說：「來，打掃廚房！」
30分鐘後，他走進廚房，…真乾淨！所有的盤子及銀器都洗好了，擦乾了也放好了，流理枱也乾淨了，所有的東西都發亮，地板也上了臘。真太令太驚奇了。
他就對蜈蚣說：「去打掃客廳！」20分鐘後，他走進客廳，地毯吸乾淨了，傢具的灰塵除掉了，沙發上的枕頭脹鼓鼓的了，小盆栽也澆水了。
這人心想：「這是我見過最神奇的事了！這真是一隻什麼都會的寵物！」接著他又對蜈蚣說：「到下面的街角拿報紙給我。」
蜈蚣便走出去。10分鐘過去了……20分鐘過去了……30分鐘過去了……蜈蚣都沒有出現。
這人就想到底出了什麼事，都過了45分鐘，牠總該回來了吧！
是否牠逃走了？或被車子壓死了？到底牠跑到那了？於是他走到前門，開門一看，竟然有一隻蜈蚣坐在外面。
主人說：「嘿！我45分鐘以前派你到街角的商店買報紙給我，到底怎麼了？」
蜈蚣說：「我正要去！我正要去！我還正在穿鞋子呢！」
A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything। The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, “Come on, a dog?” The owner says, “How about a cat?” The man replies, “No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!”
The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, “I've got it! A centipede!” The man says, “A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay... I'll try a centipede.” He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, “Clean the kitchen.”
Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and... it's immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the floor waxed. He's absolutely amazed.
He says to the centipede, “Go clean the living room.” Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on the sofa plumped; plants watered.
The man thinks to himself, “This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!”
Next he says to the centipede, “Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper.”
The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later... no centipede. 20 minutes later... no centipede. 30 minutes later... no centipede.
By this point the man is wondering what's going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. 45 minutes later... still no centipede!
He can't imagine what could have happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Where is that centipede? So he goes to the front door, opens it ... and there's the centipede sitting right outside.
The man says, “Hey!!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What's the matter?!”
The centipede says, “I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just puttin' on my shoes!”
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小強一個人躺在青草地上，望著藍天白雲在深思。他開始思想起神。
他高聲說﹕『神啊，你真的在這裏嗎？』
出乎意料地，從雲裏傳來聲音說﹕『是的，小強，你要我為你作什麼？』
小強立刻抓住機會問﹕『百萬年對你算什麼？』
神體恤小強不瞭解無限的概念，就用他能懂的語言回答說﹕『小強，百萬年對我就像一分鐘。』
『噢！』小強說﹕『那麼百萬美金對你算什麼呢？』
『百萬美金對我就像一分錢。』
『哦！』小強突發奇想﹕『你真慷慨，可以給我一分錢嗎？』
神回答說，『可以的，小強，請等一分鐘。』
Little Johnny was lay on a hill in the middle of a meadow on a warm spring day. Puffy white clouds rolled by and he pondered their shape. Soon, he began to think about God.
“God? Are you really there?” Johnny said out loud.
To his astonishment a voice came from the clouds. “Yes, Johnny? What can I do for you?”
Seizing the opportunity, Johnny asked, “God? What is a million years like to you?”
Knowing that Johnny could not understand the concept of infinity, God responded in a manner to which Johnny could relate. “A million years to me, Johnny, is like a minute.”
“Oh,” said Johnny. “Well, then, what's a million dollars like to you?”
“A million dollars to me, Johnny, is like a penny.”
“Wow!” remarked Johnny, getting an idea. “You're so generous... can I have one of your pennies?”
God replied, “Sure thing, Johnny! Just a minute.”
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神創造了驢子並告訴牠：你將從早到晚不停的工作、背負重物，你只能吃草，你將不會擁有智慧，而你有50年的壽命，你是一隻驢子！
驢子回答說：我會是隻驢子，但活50年太久了，讓我活20年就好了！於是神給了牠20年的壽命。
神創造了狗並告訴牠：你必須替人類看家，你是人類最忠實的朋友，你只能吃人類給你的任何東西，而你可以有25年的壽命，你是一隻狗！
狗回答說：活25年太久了，讓我活10年就好了！於是神給了牠10年的壽命。
神創造了猴子並告訴牠：你必須在樹上跳來跳去，做一些蠢事讓人開心，而你有20年的壽命，你是隻猴子！
猴子回答說：神，活20年太久了，讓我活10年 就好了！神也同意了。
最後，神創造了人類並告訴他：你是人類，地球上唯一的理性生物，你將運用智慧去控制其他的動物並主宰世界，而你可以有20年的壽命。
人類回答說：神，我是人類，但20年的壽命實在不夠，何不把驢子放棄的30年、狗放棄的15年、及猴子放棄的10年都給我呢？
這就是神的決定。從此，人類過了20年人樣的生活。
結婚後花了30年像隻驢子一樣的背負重擔
當他的孩子離家後，又花了15年如狗一般的看家、吃任何別人給他的東西、然後漸漸老去而退休。
剩下的10年，他像猴子般的在屋子和孩子間轉來轉去，盡做些蠢事為的是取悅兒孫。
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我媽能言善道，遠近馳名。有一回，我爸問她：「妳跟誰在門口站著聊了兩個鐘頭？」「鄰居王太太。」「怎麼不請人家進來坐坐？」「她說她沒時間。」
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Quotes引證 :
The window of opportunity doesn't stay open forever. Bill Parcells
Q: How can you make God laugh?
A: Tell Him your plans for the future.
Everything gets old if you do it often enough
Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. Henry Van Dyke
Leave nothing for tomorrow which can be done today. Abraham Lincoln
In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, France is accusing the US of arrogance, and Germany doesn’t want to go to war.
The moon moves slowly, but it crosses the town. Proverb from Ghana
The person who says “I don’t have enough time” is very close to reproaching God. Dallas Willard
A time is coming when men will go mad, and when they see someone who is not mad, they will attack him, saying, “You are mad; you are not like us.” Anthony the Great
I remember those summer evenings years ago at the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm, We used to sit around and sing while someone strummed a banjo…Actually, that’s not true, No one knew how to play the banjo and we didn’t exactly sing, We just howled a lot. Snoopy
Today is what you make of it. Norwalk court plaque
When as a child I laughed and wept, time crept. When as a youth I waxed more bold, time strolled. When I became a full-grown man, time RAN. When older still I daily grew, time FLEW. Soon I shall find, in passing on, time gone. Henry Twells (1823-1900)
Talking about the time you’re wasting is a waste of time. Bits and Pieces 3/27/97
The greatest thing about being a truck driver is that you have a lot of time to think. The horrible thing about being a truck driver is that you have a lot of time to think. Joe Hunter
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