「現在，哈樂」教師問：「若這裡有十一隻羊在田裡，有六隻跳出了圍欄，郡還有多少隻留下呢？」，哈樂回答：「一隻也沒有」老師回答說：「為什麼！那裡還有啊！」 「不是！嗯…那裡沒有羊的了，」他堅持的說：「妳對數學很有認識，但妳絕對不認識羊呢…」。(更多的吐司，格杜達‧史丹)
“Now, Harold,” said the teacher, “if there were eleven sheep in a field and six jumped the fence how many would there be left?”
“None,” replied Harold.
“Why, but there would,” said she.
“No, ma’am, there wouldn’t,” persisted he. “You may know arithmetic, but you don’t know sheep.”
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
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闖入:
小偷闖進入民家的慣常管道之比例是，
儲藏室-2%
二樓-2%
未上鎖的入口- 4%
地下室- 4%
車庫- 9%
後門-22%
一樓窗口-23%
前門- 34%
Breaking in:
Most common places that burglars enter homes
Storage homes – 2%,
2nd floor – 2%,
Unlocked entrance – 4
Basement – 4
Garage – 9
Back door – 22
1st floor window – 23
Front door – 34%
Source: National Burglar and Fire Alarm Asso. USA Today 5/23/07
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Dale Carnegie述說一個關於兩位伐木工人的故事，甲君整天勞苦工作，除了中午用餐稍息沒有沒有一刻休息.乙君一天中休息了好幾次，午餐後小睡了片刻.再工作。
黃昏的時候甲看到乙所砍伐得的木材比他更多非常難過，
他說，「我真不明白，每一次我轉頭你總是坐下來，為何你比我收穫更多呢？」
乙回答說：「你有沒有注意到?當我坐下來的我總是磨利伐木的斧頭. 」
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準備
有個樵夫每天都上山砍柴，他非常地勤勞，一年到頭難得休息。但是後來他發現，他砍的柴愈來愈少，工作愈來愈吃力，他感到非常苦惱。有個朋友發現了他的困境，為他查究原因，原來他的斧頭長久的使用，已經鈍了。於是這個朋友告訴樵夫：「我想你應該先把斧頭磨利了，再繼續工作。」樵夫不以為然的說：「哎！老兄，你看我這麼辛苦，才砍這麼一點兒柴，再花時間精力去磨斧頭，不是砍得更少了嗎？」
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Quotes引證 :
不要相信每一件有聽到的事；
不要論斷每一件你看到的事
不要做每一件你能夠的事；
不要給出每一件你擁有的東西；
不要說每一件事你都懂。
Do not believe everything you hear
Do not judge everything you see
Do not do everything you can
Do not give everything you have
Do not say everything you know. Saint Bernard
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ANGER 憤怒
一個父親想示范給他的兒子「憤怒」與「激怒」之間的區別。他就查到了一個傲慢的長期票往返者的電話號碼，他只知道這人的名字和口碑而已，於是他撥了那號碼。當電話另一頭那男人回電話時，這位父親問道：「請問是阿道夫嗎？」「這裡沒有阿道夫。你不可以在晚上這時候打擾別人前先弄對號碼嗎？」那男人在另一頭吼道。
「其實只不過是小小的麻煩而已。」這父親放下電話說道。「我們等幾分鐘，你就會聽到不同的。」足足有一間斷過後，這父親撥了同樣的號碼，又問道「阿道夫在碼？」這次那邊的人真地朝電話尖叫到「你出了什麼問題!瘋了嗎？我告訴你查一下號碼，不要煩我!」當接線那頭的人一摔下電話，這父親說：「現在那家伙是發怒了，再過幾分鐘我要讓你看我所說的激怒，相比發怒是什麼意思。」大約過了比15分鐘，這父親第三次撥了那電話號碼，當同樣那位男人在另一頭回答時，這父親幾乎慶賀式的說：「你好，這是阿道夫，在剛才約半小時內有我的留言嗎？」
A father wanted to illustrate to his son the difference between “anger” and “exasperation.” He looked up the phone number of a pompous fellow commuter whom he knew only by name and reputation, and he dialed the number. When the call was answered by the man, the father asked, “Is Adolph there?” “There’s no Adolph here. Why don’t you get the right number before bothering people this hour of the night?” roared the man on the other end.
“Now that,” said the father when he put down the phone, “was simply annoyance. We’ll wait a few minutes, and then you’ll hear something.” After a decent interval, the father dialed the same number and again asked, “Is Adolph there?” This time the other party literally screamed into the phone, “What’s the matter with you, are you crazy? I told you to look up the number and stop bothering me!” Whereupon the receiver at the other end was slammed down. “Now that fellow was angry,” said the father. “In a few minutes I will show you what I mean by exasperation compared to anger.” After 15 minutes or so, the father dialed the same number for the third time, and when the same man answered at the other end, the father said almost cheerily, “Hello, this is Adolph. Have there been any messages for me during the past half hour or so?”
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美國前總統雷根雖風度翩翩，但偶爾生氣時也會摔東西，弄得滿屋子小東西橫飛。所幸，他會很快恢復正常。有回他面諭屬下說：是這樣的，我老早知道，生氣而想摔東西的時候，最好摔在眼前，以免氣消之後，要繞一大圈來收拾東西。
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一位姊妹有一次對佈道家畢利桑戴說，她雖然脾氣不好，但是她生氣永遠不會超過一分鐘。桑戴牧師說：「手槍的爆炸，也僅不過一秒鐘而已，但妳知道手槍的殺傷力究竟有多麼大！ 」
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Quotes引證 :
Those who hate you don’t win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself. Richard Nixon
If there’s bitterness in the heart, sugar in the mouth won’t make life sweeter. Yiddish
Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be. Thomas Kempis
He who angers you, controls you!
If you allow someone to make you angry, you have let them to conquer you. Live and Learn 54
Hatred is like acid it destroys the vessel that holds it. Live and Learn 56
If an angry man were to raise the dead, because of his anger, he would not please God. Abbot Agatho
當你在怒氣上說話時，你會講最會令你後悔的話。
Speak when you’re angry, and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.
憤怒是惟一應當推遲到明天的事情。
Anger is the only thing to put off till tomorrow.
你不可以握捏緊拳頭的手。(甘地)
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. Indira Gandhi
真理常從她的捍衛者之激烈受的苦，超過從她的反對者的爭辯。(威廉 彭)
Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders, than from the arguments of its opposers. William Penn
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ATTITUDE 態度
一個人跳躍上了一架的士，並且趕著去機場。當他們的車在正確嗣上方向前往之際，突然，一架黑色車輛從泊車空地衝出停在的士前，的士司機猛然剎停車子，車子立時打轉，並發出刺耳的剎車聲，在最後一刻，車子停在與那車尾，而相距只有一吋，那司機拍打著自己的頭並吼叫說…
而的士司機只微笑及對那小伙子揮手，還有，他是友善的。那的士乘客問：「何解你這樣做？那人可能殺了我們呢！這時的士司機告訴我此刻叫什麼，「廢料貨卡車法例。」他解釋「很多人都像廢料貨卡車，他們載滿了廢料亂跑，充滿了沮喪，充滿了忿怒，及充滿了失望。因為他們的廢料堆積如山，他們尋找一個傾倒的地方，若你讓他們倒下，他們就傾倒在你身上。所以當有些人想傾倒在你身上時，不要當他面前拿走它，只需微笑，揮手，祝福他們，然後離開…」。
因此我開始想，我怎樣讓廢料貨卡車正確倒在自己身上？與及我時常怎樣拿人們的廢料和延伸到人的工作，在家，或在街上？那底線是「不要讓廢料貨卡車在你的每日除處跑。」
A man hopped in a taxi, and took off for the airport. They were driving in the right lane when suddenly, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of the taxi. The taxi driver slammed on the brakes, the car skidded, tires squealed, and at the very last moment the car stopped just one inch from the other car’s back-end.…The driver of the other car…whipped his head around and he started yelling words…
The taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And, he was friendly. So, the passenger asked, “Why did you just do that!? This guy could have killed us!” And this is when the taxi driver told me what I now call, “The Law of the Garbage Truck™.” He explained: “Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you. So when someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.…”
So I started thinking, how often do I let garbage trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the street? The bottom line is, “Don’t let garbage trucks ruin your day.” David J. Pollay
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專家對人的憂慮作了估算：百分之四十所憂慮的事根本不會發生；百分之三十憂慮的事已成過去；世上所有憂慮的事都是無法改變的；百分之十二是我們不需擔心的健康問題；百分之十的是雞毛蒜皮的小事。只剩下百分之八才是我們本當要去關注和思考的。百分之九十二的憂慮的事是根本不會發生。劃分出剩余百分之八你所憂慮的。不要讓百分之八的憂慮控制了你的生活! (Edward Chinn， Pastor， All Saints Church， Philadelphia， PA) Preaching Sep-Oct 91.
Experts have made estimates of our worries: 40% of our worries will never happen. 30% or our worries are past; all the worry in the world cannot change them. 12% of our worries are needless worries about health; 10% of our worries are petty, miscellaneous worries. This leaves 8% for things that legitimately deserve our concern and thought. 92% of the things you worry about will never happen. Sort out the remaining 8% of your worries.” Do not let 8% of your worries control your life! (Edward Chinn, Pastor, All Saints Church, Philadelphia, PA) Preaching Sep-Oct 91.
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在1930年代美國遭受經濟大蕭條期間，一個中西部的家庭連吃飯都成了問題。他們沒有錢用於奢侈享受。一天全鎮貼滿了海報，公佈有一個馬戲團要來。入場費是一美元。家裏的一個男孩想看表演，但他父親告訴他必須靠自己掙這錢。這少年從來沒有看過馬戲團，所以格外積極的幹活並掙到了一張票。
當馬戲團來的那天，他去看表演者和動物在鎮裏的遊行。正當他觀看時，一個小丑來到他面前跳舞，那男孩就把那張票放進了小丑的手中。隨後他就站在街旁，歡呼雀躍的看剩餘的隊伍走過去。少年人沖回家告訴他父親說那個馬戲團是如何的令人興奮。他父親聼后，就抱着他兒子，説道，「兒啊，你還沒有看馬戲，你所看到的只是入場的遊行。」（每日靈糧 12/3/95）
During the great Depression that hit the United States in the 1930s, a family in the Midwest struggled to put food on their table. They had no money for luxuries.
One day posters all over town announced that a circus was coming. Admission would be $1. A boy in the family wanted to see the show, but his father told him he would have to earn the money on his own. The youngster had never seen a circus before, so he worked feverishly and was able to buy a ticket.
On the day the circus arrived, he went to see the performers and the animals parade through town. As he watched, a clown came dancing over to him, and the boy put his ticket in the clown’s hand. Then he stood on the curb and cheered as the rest of the parade moved by.
The youngster rushed home to tell his parents what he has seen and how exciting the circus was. His father listened, then took his son in his arms and said, “Son, you didn’t see the circus. All you saw was the parade.” (Daily Bread 12/3/95)
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從前有一只老鼠，他又一個非常漂亮的女兒。他想將她嫁出去，但不嫁給老鼠。一天，他看到太陽閃耀，就說「啊，可有配得上我女孩的新郎了！」他走進太陽的宮殿請求道「太陽，你願意娶我的女兒爲妻嗎？我實在不能將她嫁給你以外的人了，你是如此強壯英俊。」 「哦，天啊，」太陽回答，「我並非如你想象的那樣強壯。找那邊的云吧，當他們經過我這裡時，我就變昏暗，力所不能。試試他們，他們比我強。」
老鼠非常生氣。接著他前去云那裏，但云回答道，「你看到北風了嗎？當他一吹，我們便四散，無法將我們再回到一處。試試北風吧！」
於是老鼠帶他女兒到北風那裏，並告訴來由。「我會樂意娶你漂亮的女兒，親愛的老鼠，」北風回答道，「但我正好不是你所認爲的那樣。找那尖塔吧，你看到了嗎? 我吹了四十年，都從未能將他吹倒。」 他就去找尖塔，提了同樣的請求，但尖塔對他說，「老鼠，老鼠，你聽到我墻裏面有一種尖銳的聲音了嗎？你想那是什麽？老鼠在吃掉我，將我推倒。世上沒有比老鼠更勇敢強壯的了，不管別人怎麽說。」
There was once a mouse who had a very pretty daughter. He wanted to marry her off, but not to a mouse. One day, he saw the sun shining and said, “Ah! There’s a groom fit for my little girl.” He went to the sun’s palace and requested, “Sun, will you take my daughter as your wife? I could not bring myself to give her to anyone else but you, so strong and handsome as you are.” “Oh, dear me,” said the sun, “I’m not the strongest thing as you think I am. Take those clouds over there-if they pass over me, I grow dark and can do nothing at all about it. Try them, they are better than me.”
The mouse was very unhappy. Next, he approached the clouds but the clouds replied, You see the North Wind? When he blows, we are scattered all over the place, and can’t put ourselves together again. Try the North Wind.”
Then the mouse took his daughter to the North Wind, and told him why he had come. “I should be happy, my dear mouse, to take your pretty daughter,” answered the North Wind, “but I don’t happen to be what you take me for. Try that tower over there. You see it? I blew for forty years, I’d never blow it down.” He went to the tower and made the same proposal, but the tower said to him, “Mouse, mouse, do you hear a sort of groaning inside my walls? What do you suppose it is? The mice are eating me up and all but throwing me over. There’s none in the world bolder and stronger than mice, whatever anyone may say.”
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一個男子跟著一個婦女出了電影院。她牽着一只狗。他攔住她說道，「恕我勞駕你，我發覺你的狗真的很投入這部電影。在恰當的地方它會哭，在枯燥的地方它在座椅上焦躁不安，但最多的是它對滑稽的部分笑得像瘋了般。你有沒有發覺這很不一般？」「是的，」那婦女回答道，「我發覺它非常不一般…因爲它討厭這本書。」
A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I couldn’t help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Did you find that unusual??” “Yes,” she replied, “I found it very unusual ...because he hated the book!”
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你無法贏。如果你追逐金錢，你是物資主義者。如果你沒有掙到，你是個失敗者。如果你掙到了並保存起來，你是個守財奴。如果你沒有想去掙，你缺乏雄心。如果你掙到了並花了它，你是個浪費者。如果工作一輩子后仍擁有它，你是個從沒有享受過生活的傻瓜。
You can’t win. If you run after money, you’re materialistic. If you don’t get it, you’re a loser. If you get it and keep it, you’re a miser. If you don’t try to get it, you lack ambition. If you get it and spend it, you’re a spendthrift. If you still have it after a lifetime of work, you’re a fool who never got any fun out of life.
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一個男士回到一家寵物店，幾星期前他從這裡買了一只鸚鵡，他說，「你真是腦筋有問題才賣給我這只講話的鸚鵡。」店主十分驚訝，因爲他仍記得這位顧客當時非常堅持要買一只會講話的鸚鵡。
「出了什麽問題？」店主問，「這鳥兒不講話？」
「噢，它說的不錯。」鳥的主人回答，「但你怎能跟一只會譏諷人的鸚鵡共處呢？」
「我不是很明白。」寵物店店主回答。
「這樣子，」那男士說，「當我把它帶回家，足足一星期每天早上我站在它籠子外，說‘你會講話嗎？’足足一星期，我沒有得到回應。於是一天早上我真的很厭煩，便說‘蠢蛋，你怎麽啦？’那鸚鵡朝我看着，說‘我會講話，不錯，你會飛嗎？’」(Toastmaster General’s Favorite Jokes 173， George Jessel， Castle Books)
A man went back to the pet shop where he had purchased a parakeet several weeks before and said, “You have a hell of a nerve selling me that talking parakeet.” The owner was rather surprised, since he remembered this particular customer because he had been so insistent about buying a talking parakeet.
“What’s the matter?” asked the owner. “Won’t the bird talk?”
“Oh, he talks all right,” replied the bird’s owner, “but how would you like to live with a sarcastic parakeet?”
“I don’t think I quite understand,” replied the owner of the pet store.
“Well,” said the man, “when I took the bird home, every morning for a solid week I would stand outside his cage and say, ‘Can you talk?’ and for a solid week I got no answer. So one morning I was relay disgusted, and I said, ‘What’s the matter stupid? Can’t you talk?’ And that parakeet looked at me and said, ‘I can talk , all right, but can you fly?’” (Toastmaster General’s Favorite Jokes 173, George Jessel, Castle Books)
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兩個真僧沿著一條泥濘、有雨水溝的路行走，他們遇到了一位可愛的婦人，正要跨過一個大的淤泥坑。老和尚在婦人邊停下來，將她抱起來，過了那坑，他將她輕輕的放下到路的乾地上，年輕和尚暗暗戀慕她的魅力。
像這位婦人鞠躬行禮后，這兩位和尚繼續走在這條泥濘的路上。年輕和尚一路上蔭沉着臉不説話。他們走過山嶺，下到山谷，穿過市鎮，走到森林樹木底下。最後，很多時辰過後，那年輕和尚罵那老和尚，「你是…如此的僞君子…一點不錯…知道我們和尚是不摸女人的！你爲何抱那女孩？」
老和尚慢慢轉過身，笑了。他說，「親愛的小師兄，你想得過重了！我好幾個時辰之前將那路邊的女子舉起來，你爲何現在還帶着她不放呢？」(Heather Forest， Wisdom Tales form Around the World， August House， Bits and Pieces 3/27/97)
As two Zen monks walked along a muddy, rain-drenched road, they came upon a lovely woman attempting to cross a large mud-puddle. The elder monk stopped beside the woman, lifted her in his arms, and carried her across the puddle. He set her down gently on the dry ridge of the road as the younger monk discreetly admired her charms.
After bowing politely to the woman, the two monks continued down the muddy road. The younger monk was sullen and silent as they walked along. They traveled over the hills, down the valleys, through a town, and under forest trees. At last, after many hours had passed, the younger monk scolded the elder, “You are aware that we monks do not touch women! Why did you carry that girl?”
The elder monk slowly turned and smiled. He said, “My dear young brother, you have such heavy thoughts! I left them the woman alongside the road hours ago. Why are you still carrying her?” (Heather Forest, Wisdom Tales form Around the World, August House, Bits and Pieces 3/27/97)
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話説他們建了一座新的教堂，人們從遠處四方趕來觀看。他們孜孜讚嘆它的美麗。在房頂方，一根小釘子聽到人們的讚賞這結構的每一處，唯獨沒有它！甚至無人知道它在那裏，於是它生氣並嫉妒。
「如果我不重要，我離職了沒有人會記得我的！」於是這釘子松了鉚，從房頂滑下來，掉在泥地上。
那晚上雨不停的下，很快，沒有釘子的那片瓦被沖走，房頂開始漏水。水一條條地進入牆壁和漂亮的壁畫。
粉刷開始剝落，地毯被弄髒，講臺上的聖經被水毀壞了。所有這些都是因爲一根小釘子決定離職！
但是那釘子會怎樣？當它釘住瓦片時，它是隱藏的但卻如此有用。埋在泥地裏它一樣是隱藏的，可現在它是無用的，很快被鐵銹吞滅！
As the story goes, they built a new church building and people came from far and wide to see it. They admired its beauty! Up on the roof, a little nail heard the people praising everything about the lovely structure-except the nail! No one even knew he was there, and he became angry and jealous.
“If I am that insignificant, nobody will miss me if I quit!” So the nail then released its hold, slid down the roof, and fell in the mud.
That night it rained and rained. Soon, the shingle that had no nail blew away, and the roof began to leak. The water streaked the walls and the beautiful murals.
The plaster began to fall, the carpet was stained, and the pulpit Bible was ruined by water. All this because a little nail decided to quit!
But what of the nail? While holding the shingle, it was obscure but it was also useful. Buried in the mud it was just as obscure, but now it was useless and would soon be eaten up by rust!
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Quotes引證 :
電影製作時耐性比才能重要，假如你希望你所製作的影片，所呈現出來是獨一無二，與別人不一樣時。這種耐性與毅力，就要像騾默默耕耘那樣愚行般的蠻力，及厚厚的皮那般愚蠢的不怕羞恥。
Talent is less important in filmmaking than patience. If you really want your films to say something that you hope is unique, then patience and stamina, thick skin and a kind of stupidity, a mule-like stupidity, is what you really need. Terry Gilliam
當我們在長途行軍時，最好的座右銘就是「閉口，不要發牢騷」。
The best motto in the long march is "Don't grumble. Plug on." Frederick Treves
樂觀者在災難中看到機會。悲觀者在機會中看到災難。
An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity. A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.
Creativity is the ability to say things in an unusual way.
Confidence is the ability to do things in an unusual way.
Do more than exist – Live!
Do more than touch – Feel!
Do more than look – Observe!
Do more than read – Absorb!
Do more than hear – Listen!
Do more than listen – Understand!
Do more than think – Reflect!
Do more than just talk – Say Something!
當一個人怎麽玩遊戲表現了他品格的一部分，他怎麽輸表現了他品格的全部。
How a man plays a game shows something of his character, how he loses shows all of it.
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AUTHENTICITY 真實
一個名叫Shirley的女人心臟病發作被推進醫院。在手術臺上，Shirley經歷了臨死經驗。她看到上帝站在她旁邊，她問，「就這樣了嗎？」上帝說，「不，親愛的孩子，你還有30年可活。」當她康復后，Shirley明白了，既然還有30年可活，就該最好地活。於是她留在醫院裏，做了膠原注射，臉頰植入，拉皮，吸脂減肥並隆胸。最後，她甚至請來一個美容師來醫院到她房間為她染了頭髮。
當Shirley離開醫院，她被一輛超速的汽車撞上，當場死亡。立刻她發現自己站在天堂的上帝面前，Shirley問他，「你不是告訴我還可以活30年嗎？」
拍一下他的前額，上帝喊道「Shirley! 我沒有認出是你！」
A woman named Shirley had a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital.
While on the operating table, Shirley had a near-death experience. Seeing God standing beside her, Shirley asked, “Is this it?” God said, “No, dear child, you have another 30 years to live.” Upon her recovery, Shirley figured, since she had another 30 years of life, she might as well make the most of it. So she stayed in the hospital and had collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction and breast augmentation. To top it off, she even had a beautician come to her hospital room and dye her hair. As Shirley left the hospital, she was struck by a speeding car and died instantly. When she suddenly found herself standing in front of God in heaven, Shirley asked Him, “Didn’t you tell me I had another 30 years?”
Slapping His forehead, God exclaimed, “Shirley! I didn’t recognize you!”
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一個新教派的人搬家到一個都是天主教徒的一個社區。作爲天主教徒，他們歡迎了他的到來。但是，作爲他們知道作爲一名好的天主教徒在星期五是不可以吃肉的。有一個星期五的晚上，這個新搬來的鄰居在烤肉，他們開始感覺不安。 他們很煩惱，就和這位新鄰居講這件事。經過這群人的勸導，這位他成爲了一位天主教徒。第二個星期天，他來到牧師面前，牧師往他身上滴水並說，你生是一名新教徒，並作爲一名新教徒成長，但現在你已經是一名天主教徒了。 就這樣，又到了下個星期五，在設區里，大家都坐著吃魚，這時，從這位新教徒家那邊傳來了一股烤牛肉的味道。他們過去同他講說，你知道在星期五你是不應該吃肉的。他們看到這位新教徒正在用番茄醬滴到牛肉上面並說，你生是一頭牛，長是一頭牛，但現在你是一條魚！
A Protestant moved into a completely Catholic community. Being good Catholics they welcomed him into their community. But, also because they were good Catholics they did not eat red meat on Fridays. So when their neighbor began barbecuing some juicy steak on Friday night, they began to squirm. They were so annoyed that they went to talk to him about it. After much talk they convinced him to become Catholic. The next Sunday he went to the priest and the priest sprinkled holy water on him and said, “You were born Protestant. You were raised Protestant. But now you are Catholic.” And so, the next Friday, as the neighbors sat down to eat their fish, they were disturbed by the smell of roast beef coming from the neighboring house. They went over to talk to the new Catholic because he knew he was not supposed to eat beef on Fridays. When they saw him, he was sprinkling ketchup on the beef saying, “You were born a cow. You were raised a cow. But now you are fish.”
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童話裹有一個故事說:古時代在一大山上有一隻老虎，牠很喜歡喫人肉。天使告訴牠: 「你以後絕對不可喫人肉，若再喫，我馬上打死你。」虎答: 「好！ 」以後牠只咬死小動物來滿足肚子。過三年，天使再來時，老虎請求天使說「我三年之久沒喫過人肉，現在非常愛喫人肉，讓我喫吧！ 」天使說「好，但是基督徒你絕對不可喫。」虎回答說「好」後來虎很歡喜下了山，跑到一個禮拜堂前，看見一個人帶聖經，吟詩很快樂的樣子。老虎上前聞那個人，全身都沒有基督徒氣味，只有嘴有一點基督徒的氣味，所以留下嘴、全身的肉都喫掉了。天使又降臨來了，責備老虎怎樣喫那個人?老虎說「這個人只有嘴有基督徒的氣味，所以我留著嘴，其他的都份都喫掉了。」（楊信德，《新約聖經一般故事講道集》）
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帕格尼尼（Pogenini）是一位善於拉小提琴的大音樂家。一次演奏會中，他出來站在听眾面前，在喝采聲下，忽然發現他手中所拿的小提琴有點不對。仔細一看，發覺他所拿的，并不是他平日珍愛的那個貴重的提琴。他發了一回呆，然后不得不告訴他的听眾，他拿錯了琴。他退了下去，在幕后尋思他的琴到底留在什么地方，不久就發覺有人把他的琴偷了去，換了一架破舊的琴留在原處。他懊喪了一回，仍然出來，站在听眾面前說﹕「諸位男女來賓，今天我要證明給諸位看﹕音樂并不是在樂器里，乃是在人心里。」他就用心來奏，從那破舊的樂器裡流露出悠揚悅耳的音樂來，聽眾個個受到感動，采聲差不多振動了屋瓦。他果然向他們證實了音樂並不是在樂器裡，乃是在他心裡。
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Quotes引證 :
Be who you are and say what you mean because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter. Dr. Seuss
Imitation is a confession of limitation. (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
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