eIllustrations 例證寶藏: LATEST 新增，Laughter 笑聲，Leadership 領袖

LATEST 新增
HK Marathon Training
First at Training, Last to Leave
Queen Commands Kate to Wear Longer Dresses
Warren Buffett: Three Things to Look for in a Person
Good Samaritan Driven to Suicide
Runner Refuses 666
Couples See Red Ink on Marriage
Pearl River Delta Megacity
Snub Inspires Brit to Win
Screams at Teens Will Probably Backfire
Goats, sheep, donkeys and llamas
World Getting Hot and Bothered
Top Ten Reasons Your Talented People Leave You
Man Writes Enitre Bible By Hand
Antidote to Poison
Want Better Kids? Teach Them to Do Homework
Gate to Hell Found
Easter Science: 6 Facts about Jesus
Simplicity is the Solution
What Surgeons Leave Behind
Female Brain is Smaller but More Efficient
Shadow of SARS
Time is Money
Anonymous Comments
If the Name Gets in the Way, Change It
Unhappy Mainlanders Count Their Riches
100 Million Christians Persecuted
Hell, a Very Rough Guide
In a Crisis, Humanists Seem Absent
Clear your Cupboards, Christmas is Over
Smarter Ways to Discipline Children
Jason Avant Says God Delivered Him

「船尾入水好快」四口家沉船時子女失蹤
香港南丫島嚴重撞船意外37死100傷 (片段1)
Survivors Recount Chaos, Horror of Ferry Collision
US Speedskater Admits to Sabotaging Opponent's Skates
Rethinking What Spurs Success

Imelda Marcos Shoe Collection Ruined Because of Neglect
I was Home: Former Skeptic Shares Glimpse of Heaven
Nick on Why God Made Him Limbless
Skilled Work, Without the Woker (Robots)
When the Boss is a Screamer
Only Just Begun to Owe
Why Size Matters In Search for Partner
Emerging Adults Not There Yet
Divorce's Guide to Marriage
Massive Cleanup from Typhoon Begins
Couch Potato Life Can Be Real Killer
Lifeguard Fired for Saving Drowning Man
When Animal Spirits Attack
Stand By Your Man
Studying Attitudes About Aging
More on Our Minds These Days
Redemption
Tycoon Top of the Pops
What a Waste
One in Six Falls Victim to Those Dark Moods
Misery Index
Parents Pay, and They Play Favorites
Many young surfers head to break point
The Upside of Being an Introvert
Bill Marriott on Stepping Down as CEO
Too Much Sitting Can Kill You
UK Fights Cross-Wearing Christians
Dwayne Wade Gives His Mother a Church
Serious Test for McIlroy
Why love isn't women who act like spies
Stress Can Test Newly WedsMeet the Marriage Killer

Facebook: Friends' Happy Pictures Make You Sad?

Ditch the Car and TV
Get back onboard now!'
Memory, mental function begin slipping as early as age 45
Howard plays down historic goal
The Joy of Quiet
The Truth About Wealth
The Generous Marriage
Woman Leaves $13M Fortune to Pet Cat
Steve Jobs' e-mail to fan: 'Life is fragile'
Billy Graham Turns 93, Says Old Age Is Not for Sissies
Outrage as toddler run over and ignored
How we die
Can't Buy Love: Materialism Kills Marriages
Quote scripture for oil change
Couples: Look harder at the reasons for your split
Study: Why Young Christians Leave the Church
Scientists Hint at Why Laughter Feels So Good
Can the Christian crusade against pornography bear fruit?
What teachers really want to tell parents
The end is nigh ...
Woman falls into Niagara Falls
Coach sells Mercedes for $20
Life gets better at 50
My Favorite Mistake
Private eye tells homeless man of inheritance
One Man's Journey From Atheism and Witchcraft to Christ
At 77, she's now a Cal Poly grad
Tsang backtrack over glass panels places his neighbors on thin ice
Census: Divorces decline but 7-year itch persists
The Coolest Guys in the World
The SEAL Sensibility
In the Pew Instead of Prison
Judge orders 25-year-old man to leave home and find job
1 in 4 children in US raised by a single parent
Poll: Working boomers say age a plus at office
How Easter Killed My Faith in Atheism
Former Atheist Lee Strobel's Follow-Up to Ricky Gervais' Easter Message
Story About Olympian Turned POW, Turned Christian Remains a Bestseller
Poll: Students optimistic despite money doubts
Radiation Leakage Continues, Fukushima Church Pastor Covets Fervent Prayers
I'd give (almost) all my cash for 30 years more
Safes, cash wash up on Japan shores after tsunami
Japanese citizens turning in cash found in tsunami zone
15 Signs You'll Cheat
Long hours at work may boost heart-attack risk
Tiger Mother’s daughter accepted into Harvard
Defiant Japanese boat captain rode out tsunami
Belated spotlight on unsung hero who cracked Japan's wartime codes
Japan tsunami: Nothing to do but run
The 7-year itch is now the 3-year glitch
Where Have The Good Men Gone?
Video: A 3-year-old's sad reaction to the Michael Young mess
Can You Build a Better Brain?
HK top of housing tree
How faith helped uncover a 'golden voice'
Think twice before giving
Secret Santa spreads joy, disbelief in Kansas City
Youth still chasing `pail of gold'
What Americans lost in the recession
Tiny house movement thrives amid real estate bust
Sorry! Study shows why women apologize more
Some Adversity in Life Seems to Help Build Resilience
Maids honored for their love and loyalty
Kindness of a Stranger That Still Resonates
From one pig -- bacon and 184 other things
Average teen sends 3,339 texts per month
10 Things You Don't Know About Sound
Chinese-American Christian Betty Chinn Receives 2010 Presidential Citizen’s Medal
Chen Guangbiao:Put Money Where His Heart Lies
Man's Stolen Guitar Shows Up On EBay 8 Years Later
U.N.: World hunger down but still 'unacceptable'
Worried sick
Life proves a daily struggle for poor families
Homes, cash top fairy tales on yuppie wish list
Over 8 in 10 Worldwide See Religion as Important
Kansas Pastor Tackles Sexual Impropriety in Church
Pollster in swipe at card craziness
When Will Jesus Return? - Pew Research Center
Legion of spoilt kids living like emperors
Armless Pianist Liu Wei Defies Odds On 'China's Got Talent'
Cursing, beer-grabbing flight attendant grabs spotlight
ATM 'thief': I'm still a good man at heart
Pledge to Give Away Half Gains Billionaire Adherents
Sitting, even after workout, can cut lifespan
Cooking their goose
Nadal snubbed Queen Elizabeth to focus on match
Ex-ministers' expenses scandal
Japanese take least vacation days while French use the most
Repay call for hoaxer driven into 999 frenzy
Prosecutor: Former Harvard student faked prestigious academic career
Long Road to Adulthood Is Growing Even Longer
South Korean driver earns license on 960th try
From Dung to Coffee
Schoolkids on drugs at eight
Jealousy Really Is Blinding, Study Finds
Hernandez's father quits to see him play
Does "thinking outside the box" drive you mad?
Rows over use of the internet cause rise in family rifts
Girl, 4, Survives Horror Plunge
Ice skating bear kills Russian circus hand
Bob's Red Mill is Now Employee-Owned
Illiterate until his 90s, he's now author of a book

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Tutu : "There is no future without forgiveness."
---

"Evil often triumphs but never conquers."
---

The Three Stages Of Life

Stage One:     You believe in Father Christmas.
Stage Two:     You don't believe in Father Christmas.

Stage Three: You are Father Christmas.

---

Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other psychologist looks old, worried and spent.

The older looking one asks the other, “What's your secret? Listening to other people's problems every day, all day long, for years on end, has made an old man of me.”

The younger looking one replies, “Who listens?”

Psychologists and communicators differentiate between hearing and listening. Hearing is a given; listening is a skill. Hearing happens at birth, listening is by choice. Hearing involves sound, listening requires concentration. Hearing is passive, but listening is active and attentive. Hearing is instinctive but listening is intentional; the former is coincidental and the latter is conscious.

有兩位心理學家在他們二十週年大學同學團圓聚會中碰面。雖然他們同年畢業，其中一位看上去好像才剛畢業，而另一位看上去蒼老、憂心，又枯槁。看上去較老的那位問他的同伴說：「你的秘訣是什麼？我簡直累死了，又焦慮不安。整天聽別人訴苦，年復一年，讓我變成了小老頭。」

看上去年輕的那位抬起頭來看著他，嘴角掛著微笑，回應說：「誰真的去聽？」

心理學家與溝通專家區分聽和傾聽的差別。聽是個習慣，傾聽是一個技巧；聽是天生的，傾聽卻是個選擇；聽是聽到聲音，傾聽卻需全神貫注；聽是被動的，傾聽卻主動而且專心；聽是本能的，傾聽卻是刻意的；前者是偶然發生的，後者卻是有意識的。

---

It was coming up to Christmas and the Judge was in a jolly frame of mind.

"Now then, please tell me, what is the charge against you?"
" I was caught doing my Christmas shopping very early." replied the man in the dock.

"That doesn't seem like an offence to me. What do you mean by 'very early?

"Well, your Honour." said the defendant, "It was before the shop was open

---

An English publication offered a prize for the best definition of a friend. Among the thousands of entries received were the following: “One who multiplies joys, divides grief”; “One who understands our silence”; “A volume of sympathy bound in cloth”; and “A watch which beats true for all time and never runs down.”

But the entry which won the prize said, “A friend--the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.”

An internet entry said, There are two kinds of friends in life, the one that says "call me if you need anything," and the one who shows up on your doorstep and says, "What can I do?"

有一個出版商舉辦了一個徵稿活動,題目是[一個最好朋友的定義]。寫的最好的,將授以獎項. 在收到的數千份的參賽作品中, 有幾句是這樣寫的： “他可以增添歡樂，讓你和悲傷告別” ; “他可以理解我的沉默”，“充滿了同情之心”和“信實可靠, 從不讓你失望等。
獲獎的那篇是這麼說的，當全世界離棄你時, 那個出現在你眼前的人, 就是你的好朋友. 一個在互聯網上投稿的說到, 朋友可分為兩類, 一種經常說, 有需要就找我吧. 另一種是當你有需要時, 他就會出現你眼前, 更問你有什麼要幫忙的?
---

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

當一個小男孩進入一家理髮店, 理髮師在他的客戶耳邊悄悄說“這是世界上最笨的孩子。來，讓我證明給你看。 “
理髮師把一美元的鈔票和两个二十五美分的零錢分別放在手拳上，然後問道：“小子, 你想要那個？ ”男孩取了零錢就離開了。看到了吧？理髮師說。 “那小子永遠學不聰明！ ”
後來，顧客剛離開理髮店的時候，他正好看到了那小男孩從冰淇淋店走出。他就問那小男孩說“小子！我想問你一下？你為什麼只拿走零錢而留下美元的鈔票？ “男孩一邊舔著冰淇淋, 一邊美滋滋的回答道： ”如果那天我把美元取走了，這遊戲就結束了！ “
---

A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it’s a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of the clerics is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest’s collar and says, “So you’re a priest. I’m a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There’s nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days.” The priest replies, “I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God.”

The rabbi continues, “And look at this. Here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Mogen David wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.” Then he hands the bottle to the priest. The priest agrees, takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap on, and hands it back to the priest.

The priest asks, “Aren’t you having any?” The rabbi replies, “No...I think I’ll wait for the police.”

一名拉比和一名牧師同時捲入一宗嚴重的車禍。兩輛汽車都完全拆摧毀，但令人驚訝的是他們兩人都安然無恙。當他們爬出車外，拉比看了牧師的衣領一下，說道： “你是一個牧師。而我是一個拉比。你看看我們的汽車。只剩一埋廢鐵，而我們卻平安無事。這必定是上帝的神跡呀。上帝一定安排了我們的相遇，彼此成為朋友，能夠在老年時互相作伴。 “牧師回答說：”我完全贊同你的說法。這一定是上帝的美意。

拉比繼續說，“你再看看這個。這又是另一個奇蹟。雖說我的汽車被彻底毁坏，但是這瓶好酒卻絲毫未損。這一定是神要我們喝下這杯美酒，來慶祝我們的好運氣。 “說完，就把酒遞給牧師。牧師接了，狠狠喝了幾口，再把酒瓶還給拉比。拉比取下，立即將酒瓶蓋好，並再交給牧師。

· 牧師覺得奇怪, 就問道：“你不來一口嗎？ ”拉比說：“不......我想還是先報案, 等警察來吧。 ”

--
Sarah and her thirteen-year-old sister had been fighting a lot this year. This happens when you combine a headstrong two-year-old, who is sure she is always right, with a young adolescent.

Sarah's parents, trying to take advantage of her newfound interest in Santa Claus, reminded the two-year-old that Santa was watching and doesn't like it when children fight. This had little impact.

"I'll just have to tell Santa about your misbehavior," the mother said as she picked up the phone and dialed. Sarah's eyes grew big as her mother asked "Mrs. Claus" (really Sarah's aunt; Santa's real line was busy) if she could put Santa on the line. Sarah's mouth dropped open as Mom described to Santa (Sarah's uncle) how the two-year-old was acting. But, when Mom said that Santa wanted to talk to her, she reluctantly took the phone.

Santa, in a deepened voice, explained to her how there would be no presents Christmas morning to children who fought with their sisters. He would be watching, and he expected things to be better from now on.

Sarah, now even more wide eyed, solemnly nodded to each of Santa's remarks and silently hung the phone up when he was done. After a long moment, Mom (holding in her chuckles at being so clever) asked, "What did Santa say to you, dear?"

In almost a whisper, Sarah sadly but matter-of-factly stated, "Santa said he won't be bringing toys to my sister this year."
---

The Preacher’s Lament
“If I express myself on a subject, I’m trying to run things.
If I’m silent, I’m dumb or have lost interest.
If I’m often at my office (preparing messages), why don’t I get out and learn what’s going on.
If I’m out when they call, why am I not tending to business, or studying for a message.
If I’m not at home at night, I’m out having a good time.
If I’m home, I’m neglecting important outside contacts and activities.
If I don’t agree with persons, I’m bullheaded.
If I do agree, I don’t have any ideas of my own.
If I don’t do what I’m requested, I’m a very poor pastor or minister.
If I do agree, well, that’s what I’m paid for.
If I give someone a short answer, I’m “too big for my britches.”
If I attempt to explain the pros and cons of an issue, I’m a know-it-all.
If I’m well dressed, I think I’m a big shot.
If I’m not, I’m a poor representative of my office.
If I’m on the job a short time, I’m inexperienced.
If I’ve been there a long time, It’s time for a change.”
---

After worship the new pastor was shaking hands with parishioners, when one woman turned bright red and looked at her shoes as she shook his hand.
“‘I hope you didn’t take it personally, Pastor’”, she said, ‘when my husband walked out during your sermon.”
“‘I did wonder,’ the pastor replied. “I hope and pray he’s not ill.”
“Oh, no!” said the woman. “And it’s not a reflection on you, Pastor. I can assure you of that. My husband’s been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child.”
---

A man visited the pastor, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.
“Pastor, ” he said in a broken voice, “I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this neighborhood. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $900.”
“How terrible!” exclaimed the preacher’s wife. “May I ask who you are?”
The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. “I’m the landlord,” he sobbed.
---

The keynote speaker was in such a hurry to get to the venue that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that had forgotten his dentures.
Turning to the man next to him, he whispered, “I forgot my teeth!”
The man said, “No problem.” With that he reached into his briefcase and pulled out a pair of dentures. “Try these,” he said. The speaker tried them. “Too loose,” he said.
The man dug around in his briefcase again. “Here, try these.”
The speaker tried them and responded. “Too tight.”
The man didn’t seem taken aback at all. He dug around in his briefcase again. “Here. I have this pair. Give them a try.”
The speaker smiled. “They fit perfectly.” He ate his meal and gave his speech without any further troubles.
After the event concluded, the speaker went over to thank his benefactor and return the spare parts.
“I want to thank you for coming to my rescue. Where is your office? I’ve been looking for a good dentist.”
“Oh, I’m not a dentist,” the man replied. “I’m the local funeral director.”
---

A friend is one who understands your tears is much more valuable than a lot of friends who only know your smile. Charlie Brown
A friend is someone you can lean on. Snoopy
Learn from yday. Live for today. look to tomorrow. Rest this afternoon. Snoopy
I'm a sart person. I just do stupid things. Snoopy
I wasn't yelling. I was just expressing myself forcefully. Lucy
i thot being in love was supposed to make you happy. CB
Worying wont stop the bad things from happening. It just stops you from enjoying the good.
He just found out he's too old to attend a midlife semianr.
Life is a ten-speed cycle. Most of us have gears we never use. Snoopy
Smile and the world smiles with you. slobber and you'll put you outdoors. Snoopy
HOW WOULD WE FEEL IF SOMEONE never talked to us till they wantes soemthing? God has feelings too. CB
No problem is so bg or so complicated that it can't be run away from. Linus
Keep looking up. That's the secret of Life - Snoopy
---

An accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He is met by St Peter who goes through the usual questionnaire.

"What sort of accountant are you?" says St Peter

"Public Practitioner," is the reply.

"Name?"

He gives his name. St Peter goes through some files and pulls one out.

"Oh, yes. We've been expecting you. You've reached your allotted span," says St Peter.

"How can that be?" says the accountant. "I'm too young to go. I'm only forty-eight"

"No, that's impossible."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well we've been looking at your time sheets and the hours you've charged your clients. By our reckoning you're at least ninety three."

---

There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news.

The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program.

The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."

---

An elderly woman died last month who had never married, she requested that no male pallbearers be used. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive so I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."

---

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “Honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”

Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.” (Gen 24)
---

A poem “The Power of Words” says:

“A careless word may kindle strife,
A cruel word may wreck a life,
A bitter word may hate instill,
A brutal word may smite and kill,
A gracious word may smooth the way,
A joyous word may light the day,
A timely word may lessen stress,
A loving word may heal and bless.” (Gen 24)
---

Hannah comes home from her afternoon out with her boyfriend Arnold looking very unhappy.

"What’s the matter, Hannah?" asks her mother.
"Arnold has asked me to marry him," she replies.
"Mazeltov! But why are you looking so sad?" her mother asks.
"Because he also told me that he was an atheist. Oh mum, he doesn't even believe in Hell."
Her mother then says, "That’s all right Hannah, it really isn’t a problem. I suggest you marry him and between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."
---

Read the following announcement.

Has the heaviness of you old fashioned church got you weighted down? Try us! We are the New and Improved Lite Church of the Valley. Studies have shown we have 24% fewer commitments than other churches. We guarantee to trim off guilt, because we are Low-Cal. Low Calvin, that is. We are the home of the 7.5% tithe. We promise 40-minute worship services, with 10-minute sermons. Next Sunday嚙編 exciting text is the story of the Feeding of the 3,000. We have only 8 Commandments -- You choose which ones apply each week. We use just 3 gospels in our contemporary New Testament 嚙瘦ood Sound Bites for Modern Human Beings嚙�. We take the offering every other week, all major credit cards accepted of course or use our easy payment plan. We are closed the first week of hunting season. Yes, the New and Improved Lite Church of the Valley could be just what you are looking for. We are everything you want in a church... and less!

---

A man stopped by the local church to talk to the Pastor. He told the Pastor "I stole a turkey this morning on my way home from work". The Pastor told him "That was a terrible thing to do". The man replied "Yes, I know that now, do you want it?" The Pastor replied "No, take it back and give it to the man that you stole it from." The man replied "I tried to give it back but he refused it". The Pastor told him "In that case you keep the turkey". The man thanked the Pastor and went on his way.

When the Pastor arrived home later that day he discovered that his turkey had been stolen!

---

Psalm 23 For Tech Heads

The Lord is my programmer, I shall not crash.

He installed His software on the hard disk of my heart. All of His commands are user friendly.

His directory guides me to the right choices for His name's sake. Even though I scroll through the problems of life, I will fear no bugs, for He is my back-up.

His password protects me. He prepares a menu before me in the presence of my enemies.

His help is only a keystroke away.

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and my file will be merged with His and saved forever.

Amen

---

One day in the South Pacific, a navy ship Captain saw smoke coming from a hut on an uncharted island.

Upon arriving at the shore they were met by a shipwreck survivor. He said, "I'm so glad you're here! I've been alone on this island for more than five years!"

The captain replied, "If you're all alone on the island why do I see THREE huts."

The survivor said, "Oh. We'll, I live in one, and go to church in another."

"What about the THIRD hut?" asked the captain.

"That's where I USED to go to church."

---

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Preacher," said the young man, "I'm sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."

---

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today ?"

Johnny raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."

Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."

And Robert, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Robert how he knew this.

And Robert said, "Well.....every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"

---

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.

Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.

"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."

During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."

At that moment, the substitute organist played the National Anthem ...

... amd that is how the substitute organist became the permanent organist!

---

There was a missionary going to the Philippines and his wife had a cat which she could not part with. There was a hole in the wall of the house that they moved into. A mouse lived there and the cat loved to chase it.

Every day the cat would chase the mouse but he could'nt catch it, and the mouse would laugh at him. One day, the cat almost caught the mouse. On that day the cat waited outside of the mouse hole. The mouse was very scared because he could hear the cat outside of the hole meowing. The cat sat there continuing to meow (meow,meow,meow).

Eventually the meowing stopped and all the mouse could hear was ruff,ruff, ruff. The mouse, full of joy, ran out of his house knowing that he had been saved. As the mouse came out of his hole, the cat pounced on him and gobbled him up, and walked away smiling saying to himself, it pays to be bilingual.

---

"How will you spend eternity?

Smoking or Non-smoking?"

---

A pastor and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if he would like to play a fun game? The pastor, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines, and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."

This catches the pastors attention and figuring there will be no end to this torment unless he plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question.

"What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The pastor doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

Okay says the lawyer, your turn.

He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer.

He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworker, to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the preacher, and hands him $500. The pastor says, "Thank you", and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the pastor and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the pastor reaches into his wallet, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep

---

A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher.

The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk looks back and says, "Yess, Preacher..I sure am."

The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. "Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked.

"Nooo, I didn't!" said the drunk.

The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"

"Noooo, I did not Reverrend."

The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My Good man, have you found Jesus yet?"

The ole drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher... "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

---

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."

"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?" "Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"

---

"After a morning worship service, a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old boy told her Pasotr how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, the Pastor is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!' It worked."

---

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong.

Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"

---

Notice of defective pastor

It has come to our attention that the pastor you received was shipped with a slight defect: he is not psychic. This defect necessitates certain special procedures to ensure optimum performance of your unit.

1. It is necessary to inform him of any members who are hospitalized.

2. It is necessary to inform him of any members who should be added to the "shut-in" list.

3. If someone you know is sick or otherwise in need of the pastor's prayers, or if you know of someone who should be included in the prayers on Sunday morning, the pastor must be told, or he won't know.

4. If you are in need of a pastoral visit or some other service from the pastor, you will get best results if you ask him.

We regret any inconvenience this may cause. If these special procedures create an undue burden, please feel free to send the unit back, and one with full psychic abilities will be shipped as soon as one becomes available.

---

How many church people does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only one.

Hands already in the air.

Roman Catholics: None.

They use candles.

Pentecostals: Ten.

One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None.

God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.

Episcopalians: Eight.

One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.

Mormons: Five.

One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarian Universalists: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine.

You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about you personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Baptists: At least 10.

One to change the light bulb, a committee to approve the change. Oh, and also provide a casserole.

Lutherans: None.

Lutherans don't believe in change.

Methodists: 10

One to change the bulb. Nine to attack the preacher, because someone's grandmother gave that bulb to the church!!

---

Toward the end of his life, General Robert E. Lee attended the christening of a friend's child. The mother asked him for a word that would guide the child along the road to manhood. Lee's answer summed up the creed that had borne him, through struggle and suffering, to a great place in American history. “Teach him,” he said simply, “to deny himself.” (QQ 345)

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The reality is, if we tell the truth, we only have to keep telling the truth once. If you lie, you have to keep lying forever.” (Rabbi Wayne Dosick Bits and Pieces 6/19/97, Golden Rules HarperCollins)
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Alexander the Great conquered the world when he was 33. What was his secret? It's known that Alexander the Great and his army's commitment and dedication to one another frightened many enemies into submission.

One time, Alexander the Great led his troops across a hot and desolate plain. After eleven days out, he and all the soldiers were near death from thirst. Alexander pressed on. At midday, two scouts brought him what little water they had been able to find. It hardly filled a cup. Alexander's troops stood back and watched as he poured the water into the hot sand.

He said: "It's no use to drink when (so) many thirst." (Business)

Another time, Alexander and a small company of soldiers approached a strongly fortified wall city. Alexander, standing outside the walls, raised his voice and demanded to see the king. When the king arrived, Alexander insisted that the king surrender the city and its inhabitants to Alexander and his little band of fighting men.

The king laughed, "Why should I surrender to you? You can't do us any harm!" But Alexander offered to give the king a demonstration. He ordered his men to line up a single file and start marching. He marched them straight toward a sheer cliff.

The townspeople gathered on the wall and watched in shocked silence as, one by one, Alexander's soldiers marched without hesitation right off the cliff to their deaths! After ten soldiers died, Alexander ordered the rest of the men to return to his side. The townspeople and the king immediately surrendered to Alexander the Great. (James Hewett)

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Franklin Roosevelt’s closet adviser during much of his presidency is a man named Harry Hopkins. During World War II, when his influence with Roosevelt was at its peak, Hopkins held no official Cabinet position. Moreover, Hopkins' closeness to Roosevelt caused many to regard him as a shadowy, sinister figure. As a result he was a major political liability to the President.

A political foe once asked Roosevelt, "Why do you keep Hopkins so close to you? You surely realize that people distrust him and resent his influence."

Roosevelt replied, "Someday you may well be sitting here where I am now as President of the United States. And when you are, you'll be looking at that door over there and knowing that practically everybody who walks through it wants something out of you. You'll learn what a lonely job this is, and you'll discover the need for somebody like Harry Hopkins, who asks for nothing except to serve you." (Robert Sherwood, Roosevelt and Hopkins: An Intimate History NY/Harper and Row/1948 pp 2-3 as quoted by Jack B. Hoey, Jr. in Discipleship Journal Issue 39/87)

---

Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it.
Plan more than you can do, then do it.
Point your arrow at a star, take your aim, and there you are.
Arrange more time than you can spare, then spare it.
Take on more than you can bear, then bear it.
Plan your castle in the air; then build a ship to take you there.
----

There was a very cautious man

Who never laughed or played
He never risked, he never tried
He never sang or prayed
And when one day passed away
His insurance was denied
For since he never really lived (Bits and Pieces 7/20/95)
---

Johnny's mother always warned him that he would never amount to much because he always procrastinated. Whenever she said this, Johnny would always reply, "You just wait."

---

Hustle is doing something that everyone is absolutely certain can't be done.

Hustle is getting the order because you got there first, or stayed with it after everyone else gave up.
Hustle is getting prospects to say "yes" after they've said "no" twenty times.
---

Once a king dreamed that all his teeth had fallen out. Immediately he sent for one of his soothsayers to interpret the meaning of his vision. With a sad countenance and mournful voice, the soothsayer told the monarch that the dream meant that all his relatives would die and that he would be left alone. This angered the king and he drove the servant from his presence.

Another was called and the king told him of the dream. At this, the wise man smiled, and replied, "Rejoice, O King; the dream means that you will live yet many years. In fact you will outlive all your relatives." This pleased the king a great deal, and in his joy he gave the interpreter a rich reward. The two men had said, in different ways, the same thing - Clyde N. Parker (Tan #6334)
---

With two expert parachutists guiding him, George Bush jumped from 12,500 feet in a civilian plane, executed a free fall until he pulled his parachute at 4,500 feet, and landed upright and within 40 yards of the target painted on the desert floor.. jumped from a civilian plane circling the Army Proving Ground, a massive desert base out of a plane. How old was he? 72.

Why did he do such a crazy thing? George Bush was forced to bail out of his Navy torpedo bomber near Chichi Jima islands in September 1944, when the plane was hit by Japanese anti-aircraft fire. The 20-year-old Bush decided he wanted to make another jump someday. Why? Two other crew members were killed, and Bush was rescued after several hours in the waters about 600 miles from Japan.

---

A ladies' group asked a speaker to give a speech on sex and marriage. However, fearful of his wife's reaction, he told her that hew as going to speak about air travel. A few days after her husband's speech the speaker's wife happened to be in the market place hem she met a woman who attended the meting.

"That was quite a speech your husband made the other night," said the woman enthusiastically. "He must be an expert."

"Oh, no," replied Mrs. Kirby. "He's only tried it twice. The first time he lost his bag, and the second time he got sick to his stomach."

---

A nobleman, an amateur of the arts and enthusiastic painter, showed some of his work to the painter, Turner. ("Turner, your most favorable reputation, valuable opinion, and accurate judgment"

Turner examined the pictures for a while and then turned to the nobleman. (Excitedly, the nobleman asked, "Well, what do you think, what do you think?")

"My Lord," he said, "you lack nothing but poverty to become an excellent painter."

---

St. Francis of Assisi one day said to several of his followers. "Let us go to the village over the way and preach." As they went, they met a humble pedestrian who was greatly burdened. Francis was in no hurry and listened carefully to his tale of woe.

When the village was reached, Francis talked with the shopkeepers, spent time with the farmers at their fruit and vegetable stalls, and played with the children on the streets. On the way back, they met a farmer with a load of hay, and Francis spent time with him. The morning gone, the group reached the monastery from where they had set out in the early morning.

One of the followers, who was greatly disappointed, said to Francis. "Brother Francis, you said you were going to preach. The morning is spent and no sermon has been given."

And the saintly Francis replied, "But we (were!) have been preaching all the way." (Tan #3104)

---

Nov. 27 is the anniversary of Alfred Bernard Nobel's will. He left the bulk of a vast fortune amassed from his invention to the establishment of the Nobel Peace Prize.

In 1867, at age 34, Nobel was granted a patent for his invention and over the next 29 years of his life he became fabulously wealthy from the manufacture of his product.

His will dated November 27, 1895, provided for a trust to establish 5 prizes in the field of peace, physics, chemistry, physiology or medicine, and literature. A sixth award was added in economic science was added in 1969. Recipients of the prizes were to receive a gold medal, a citation diploma, and cash awards of from $30,000 to $40,000 (now $1 million).

How ironic that one of the Alfred Nobel award was called the Nobel Peace Prize for the thing that his invention wanted to bring but could not produce. Do you remember his invention? Dynamite and explosives (Tan # 4290)

---

An American Indian was in downtown New York, walking with his friend who lived in New York. Suddenly he said, "I hear a cricket."

Oh, you're crazy," his friend replied.

"No, I hear a cricket. I do! I'm sure of it."

"It's the noon hour. There are people bustling around, cars honking, taxis squealing, noises from the city. I'm sure you can't hear it."

"I'm sure I do." He listened attentively and then walked

to the corner, across the street, and looked all around. Finally on the corner he found a shrub in a large cement planter. He dug beneath the leaves and found a cricket. His friend was astounded. But the Cherokee said, "No. My ears are no different from yours. It simply depends on what you are listening to. Here, let me show you." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of change- a few quarters, some dimes, nickels, and pennies. And he dropped it on the concrete. Every head within a block turned. You see what I mean?" he said as he began picking up his coins. "It all depends on what you are listening for." (Illustrations for Preaching and Teaching: From Leadership Journal # 225 1993/Christianity Today/Baker Book House)
---

Philip Yancey in Disappointment With God talks about his holiday trip to see his mother who lived alone seven hundred miles away. As they went through old pictures from the closet shelf, Yancey found his own infant photo, crumpled and mangled, with his name written on the back. He asked his mother why she had hung onto such an abused photo when she had so many other undamaged ones. Why?

"When I was ten years old, my father contracted spinal bulbar polio. He died three months later, just after my birthday. My father was totally paralyzed at age twenty-four, his muscles so weakened that he had to live inside a large steel cylinder that did his breathing for him. He had few visitors...The one who visitor who came faithfully, my mother would sit in a certain place so that he could see her in a mirror bolted to the side of the iron lung...He had asked for pictures of her and his two sons, and my mother had to jam the pictures in between some metal knobs. Thus, the crumpled condition of my baby photo." (Disappointment with God 254, Philip Yancey Grand Rapids, Michigan/1988/Zondervan Pubg House)
---

It was 100 years ago that Charles Sheldon stood at the pulpit of the Central Congregational Church on a Sunday evening and began reading his story-sermon.

He told a tale about a Rev. Henry Maxwell in the mythical city of Raymond. The sermon related what happened when a young, unemployed printer came to town and was unable to find work or help.

Tired and hungry, the young man sat outside a church one night listening to songs being sung at a prayer meeting. The printer later stumbled into the church, collapsed and died. As he toppled over the direction of the communion table, he cried, "What would Jesus do?"

After the printer's death, the congregation decided to ask itself, "What would Jesus do?" before making any decision. The book is called "In His steps"

---

The mediocre teacher tells.

The good teacher explains
The superior teacher demonstrates.
The great teacher inspires (William Arthur Ward, American journalist)
---

Subject: Goodday Pastor,

Please i need your assistance, i am currently having issues with bank, they're currently undergoing financial balancing and i cannot access my bank account until monday. Please i need to lend $2,000 from you urgently i will pay back on monday unfailingly + tenants months rent. Thanks and Godbless.
Thank you for your business,
ONE CALL DOES IT ALL
Pauline
Yap: Can you ask Pauline if she is financial trouble?
I receive mail from her
Victor

Ed: Unfortunately she fell prey to an email that supposedly cam from you.

Yap: On no, how much did she lose? They asked 2k from her.

Ed: 1500

Hair today rather than life tomorrow, say baldies

Standard, Thursday, July 18, 2013
http://thestandard.com.hk/news_detail.asp?pp_cat=11&art_id=135638&sid=39968174&con_type=1

Nearly half of Hong Kong men say they are willing to lead shorter lives in order to regain lost hair, or to ensure they won't go bald.

Almost a third (31percent) of survey respondents are more concerned about hair loss than erectile dysfunction.

Commissioned by a German pharmaceutical and cosmetics company, Alpecin, the first survey of its kind found that the worrying trend of hair loss is particularly evident in men between 21 and 30.

In response to the question whether they are willing to trade longer life for assurance of keeping their hair, 51percent of respondents in that age group replied "yes."

Among those between 31 and 40, 40 percent agreed to the trade, with the highest percentage (54 percent) among those between 41 and 50.

"Men in this decade are more image-conscious than ever before," said psychologist Scarlett Tsoi Yi-men, citing greater academic and societal pressures felt by this generation as the reason for such survey results.

"Students are more academically competitive, and more than ever, the media project unrealistic images of men that young people compare themselves to," Tsoi said.

When asked which physical condition caused most concern - with options including sexual problems, hair loss, being overweight and body odor - results showed hair loss came second only to being fat.

Tsoi said there is a misconception that hair loss is indicative of health problems and sexual disability, with men also concerned their general abilities are judged by appearance.

This paranoia may lead to self-imposed exile, introversion, and social anxiety disorders, the psychologist added.

Mr Chan, a 35-year-old who started losing his hair at 30, spoke of his torment.

"I was teased by colleagues and friends. I found it difficult to talk to anyone about my concerns, so I stopped socializing," Chan told a press conference held yesterday to release the survey results

"It even affected my relationship with my wife," he said.

Tsoi said "a positive mental attitude, coupled with proper stress management, will promote positive emotions, physical health outcomes and overall life satisfaction."
---

When a man whose marriage was in trouble sought his advice, the Master said, “You must learn to listen to your wife.” The man took his advice to heart and returned after a month to say that he had learned to listen to every word his wife was saying. Said the Master with a smile, “Now go home and listen to every word she isn’t saying.” Anthony de Mello

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Howls of ridicule as law seeks to 'force' filial visits

STandard, Tuesday, July 02, 2013

A law requiring family members to visit their elderly relatives has taken effect to howls of online ridicule, as the nation's huge population ages rapidly.

The regulation "forces" children to visit their parents, the Global Times newspaper said, with concerns growing over increasing numbers of "empty nest" homes.

Rapid development has challenged the traditional extended family unit, and reports of the elderly being neglected or mistreated by their children have shocked the nation.

Last year, a farmer in Jiangsu province faced a barrage of online criticism after domestic media revealed he had kept his 100-year-old mother in a pig sty.

More than 14 percent of the population, or 194 million, are aged over 60, latest official figures show.

The growing proportion of the elderly is the result of the controversial one-child policy, launched in the late 1970s to control population growth in the mainland.

Many of the aged live alone in "empty nest" homes, with their children working elsewhere in the country.

But while internet users generally express concern for the elderly - highly respected in the traditionally close-knit family unit - many took to microblogs to criticize the new measures.

"A country actually legislates on respecting parents?" said one of the eight million to comment on the story on the Twitter-like Sina Weibo. "This is simply an insult to the nation."

Another said: "The government uses legislation to protect the elderly, but in reality it is just to put all the blame on to their children. "The government should have thought of how to address this problem when it brought in the one-child policy."

The Shanghai Daily said the new law gives parents the power to apply for mediation or bring a case to court, but experts are unclear about how the measures will be enforced, or how often visits are required.

"More quantitative standards and measures need to be added," said Xia Xueluan, sociology professor at Peking University.
"The current revision looks more like a reminder for young people to refocus on the traditional values of filial piety rather than a compulsory law." AGENCE FRANCE-PRESSE

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FRIENDS
When you are in trouble…Everyone hears what you say... Friends listen to what you say... Best friends listen to what you don't say
-----

Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby.
Little Johnny's parents were very afraid their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby. So, Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with Little Johnny before going to the neighbors.
He said, "Now, son...that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really going to spank you when we get back home.
"I promise not to mention his ears at all," said Little Johnny.
At the neighbor's home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at its mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!"
The mother said, "Thank you very much, Little Johnny."
He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why... just look at his pretty little eyes! Did his doctor say he can see good?"
The Mother said, "Why, yes... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision."
Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a damn good thing, cause he sure as hell can't wear glasses!"
---

Three tortoises, Tinku, Teku and Toku, went into a restaurant. Each of them ordered a large ice cream sundae. They were waiting for their order when they noticed that it was pouring with rain outside.

"We are going to need our umbrellas," said Toku. Tinku agreed. They both decided that Teku should run home to get the umbrellas, but he didn't want to go in case they ate his ice-cream while he was away. But Toku and Tinku promised that they would do nothing of the kind, so Teku set off.

One week went by and Teku did not return. Two weeks went by and still he did not appear. Halfway through the third week, Tinku turned to Toku and said, "Come on, let's eat his ice cream."
"Okay, let's," said Toku.

Just then Teku's voice piped up from under the next table, "If you do, I won't go for that umbrella!"

---

After many years, a Muscovite had finally saved up enough money to buy a Russian car. He went to the government sales office, paid the price in full and was told that his car would now be included in the next ten

‑year plan, and exactly ten years from today he could come to pick it up. He asked, "In the morning or the afternoon?" The sales lady said, "If you have to wait ten years anyway, why are you so concerned whether you will get your car in the morning or the afternoon?" He replied, "Because the plumber is coming in the afternoon."

---

A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.

Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.

The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Louie stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louie, the minister decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?"

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church."

"Fine job, Jack!", the minister said, vigorously shaking his hand.

"You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."

Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the

Church last week?"

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a professional salesman.. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected."

The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you."

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope. The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?. Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?"

Louie just nodded. That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could."

"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister! agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."

Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.

Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"

"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied,

"W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ------o-o-o-or-------- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??"
---

Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.
---

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”The boy takes the quarters and leaves.“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
---

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes"? The bartender says, "No, we only sell beer here." The duck leaves. The next day the duck walks back into the bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes"? The bartender says, "No, I told you we only sell beer, and if you ask me again I'm going to nail your beak to the bar." So the duck leaves. The next day the duck walks back into the bar once again and asks the bartender "Do you have any nails"? The bartender says "no." The duck asks, "Do you have any grapes"? ~ Scott Pruitt

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Two friends who were playing golf on a fine morning saw a funeral procession passing by. One of the friends who was about to hit the ball, stopped mid-way, took off the cap and bowed down. The other friend was overwhelmed by this gesture and asked him, "You are kind and truly a gentleman. I have never seen such a thoughtful person. The friend replied, "Yes, I was married to her for 35 years."A doctor says to his patient, "I have got a bad and worse news for you today." The worried patient asks, "What is the bad news?" The reply comes," You can live for one day at the most." The frightened patient then asks, "What could be worse?" The doctor informs, "I was trying to contact you since yesterday evening."

---

The new preacher had just begun his sermon. He was a little nervous, and about ten minutes into the sermon his mind went blank. After a brief second of complete panic, he remembered what they had taught him in seminary about situations like this: repeat the last point. His teacher assured him this would help him remember what was supposed to come next. So he gave it a try.

"Behold, I come quickly," he said. Still his mind was blank. He tried again. "Behold, I come quickly." Still nothing.He tried one more time -- speaking and gesturing with such force that he fell forward, knocking the pulpit to one side, tripping over the flower pot, and falling into the lap of a little old lady in the front row.

The young preacher apologized profusely.

"That’s all right, young man," said the little old lady. "It was my fault. I should have gotten out of the way. You told me three times you were coming!"

An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms - Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names"

The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said, "I forgot her name about 10 years ago."
---

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo, while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
---

On Christmas afternoon, the Pastor's wife dropped into an easy chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tried."

Her husband (the Pastor) looked over at her & said, "I had to conduct two special services last night, three today, & give a total of five sermons. Why are you so tired?"

"Dearest," she replied, "I had to listen to all of them."
---

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly,

"I know what the Bible means!"

His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you know what the Bible means?"

The son replied, "I know what it stands for!"

"Okay, said his father. "So, son, what does the Bible mean?"

"That's easy, Daddy. It stands for Basic Information Before Leaving Earth."
---

We cannot change the direction of the wind... but we can adjust our sails.

If you’re too open minded, your brains will fall out.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
---

There is a story about Darius, the king of Persia, who gave a great feast for 127 of his governors and famous people. Four men of the king's guard entered into a contest at the request of Darius, the king of Persia, to speak a word or sentence that would impress the king and impress those present. The one who spoke the most powerful word was to be given a necklace of gold and a place of honor at the king's court. Four men from the king's guard were chosen.

One man stood to speak a strong word. He said, "Wine is strongest. Wine is strongest." Then he proceeded to give his case for the reason "wine is strongest." He told of the influence that wine has on the lives of people. He told of the influence that wine has on the homes of the nation and on the land of Persia. He presented his case and shouted again, "Wine is strongest."

A second stood and gave his "word" and that word was, "The king is strongest. The king is strongest." Then he proceeded, with eloquence, to tell why he thought the king was the strongest. He told of the influence the king had upon the lives of all the people. He explained how, at the king's command, thousands of people obeyed and how the entire empire was effected by just the command of the king. He shouted in closing, "The king is the strongest."

The third man stood and shouted these words, "Woman is the strongest!" Then he proceeded with eloquence to explain the influence that woman has on man, the fact that man has lived, sacrificed, and died for a woman and then he shouted again, "Woman is strongest."

And then the fourth stood and shouted his sentence. He said, "Truth is strongest!" Then he gave his argument for truth. By the time he had finished his argument for truth, the great crowd of people at the feast of Darius were shouting, "Great is truth! Great is truth! Truth is greater than wine. Truth is greater than the king. Truth is greater than woman. Greatest is the truth!" The winner of the strongest statement was that member of the king's guard who shouted, "Truth is strongest!"
-----

A husband had always been disdainful of people who, in his estimation, talked too much. He proudly told his wife that he’d recently heard that men use 2200 words a day, while women use more than 4400 words a day.

The wife pondered his comments for a moment, and then concluded, “That’s because women have to repeat everything they say to their husbands.”

The husband looked up and asked, “Come again?”

-----

When God solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when God doesn't solve your problems, He has faith in YOUR abilities.

A blind person asked God: "Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?" He replied: "Yes, losing your vision!"

Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles; it takes away today's PEACE.
---
Haddon Robinson points out that one old recipe for rabbit started out with this injunction: "First catch the rabbit."

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笑話：[Sick]

"Sick" 的意思係「生病」...

- 成日都病，叫做「常Sick」.

- 病到死，叫做「安Sick」.

- 病都有錢賺，叫做「利Sick」.

- 病都要俾原因，叫做「解Sick」.

- 病到.嗡嗡地都會作詩，叫做「蘇Sick」.

- 病都要計數，叫做「方程Sick」.

- 病完.好番開 party 慶祝，叫做「Sick別會」.

- 病咗.等於無病，叫做「Sick即是空」.

- 病到.見唔到朋友，叫做「重Sick輕友」.

- 病都要講.對唔住，叫做「冰Sick前嫌」.

- 阿婆病咗.都要嗌交，叫做「婆Sick糾紛」.

- 個男仔病到死.都掛住拍拖，叫做「男Sick生死戀」.

----

BUSY? (Bound Under Satan's Yoke)

In hell there's a big hotel where the bar just closed and the windows never opened

No phone so you can't call home and the T.V. works, but the clicker is broken.

~ Billy Joel, in River Of Dreams (1993 album). Blonde Over Blue

Hell is when there is no reason to live and no courage to die. ~ William Markiewicz, Extracts of Existence (1990).

[F]ellowship is heaven, and lack of fellowship is hell; fellowship is life, and lack of fellowship is death. ~ William Morris, from A Dream of John Ball (1888).

Hell is empty, And all the devils are here. ~ William Shakespeare, The Tempest. Act I, scene ii

Better limp all the way to heaven than not get there at all. ~ William A. "Billy" Sunday

God keeps no half-way house. It's either heaven or hell for you and me. ~ William A. "Billy" Sunday

Hell is the highest reward that the devil can offer you for being a servant of his.~ William A. "Billy" Sunday

Hell is indefinite. ~ Charles (Walter Stansby) Williams

---

Vince Lombardi: Winning is not a sometime thing; it's an all time thing. You don't win once in a while, you don't do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing. Vince Lombardi

Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.

The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have.

Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser.

If you can accept losing, you can't win.

Leaders aren't born they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that's the price we'll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal.

Winners never quit and quitters never win.

Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.

Everybody stop and gather around. Let's start at the beginning. This is a football. These are the yard markers. I'm the coach. You are the players.

.---

Years ago when William Gladstone was prime minister of Great Britain, the son of a dear friend of his came to him for some counsel about his career. Prime Minister Gladstone asked the young man what he was going to do, and he said, “Well, first I’m going to complete my studies at Oxford.”

“Splendid,” said Gladstone. “And what then?” “Well, sir,” the young man continued, “then I plan to study the law and actually become a prominent barrister, perhaps in London.”

“Wonderful”, said the prime minister. “And then what?” “Well, then I hope to rise within the party and land a significant cabinet post.” “Great idea,” said the prime minister. “And what then?” “Then, sir,” the young man said kind of sheepishly, “I really hope that I get your job. I hope to serve the queen with the distinction that you are serving now.” “A noble gesture,” said the prime minister, “And what then?” “After serving a long tenure as prime minister, I suspect I will be forced to retire.”

The prime minister said, “And so you shall, and what then?” The young man said, “Well, when I retire, I hope my mind is sharp and I’m still strong physically and I really hope that I’m able to continue to serve the public and the queen.” The prime minister said, “A noble ambition, and what then?”

The young man paused and finally continued, “Well, I guess that after years of retirement, I shall die.” William Gladstone said, “Yes you will, and what then?” The young man said, “Sir, I have never thought beyond death.” And the prime minister leaned forward and told him, “My son, you are a fool. Go home and think through your life with the end in mind, and when you think with the end in mind, this present moment will take on new meaning.” (Tom Tewell, “Stuff”, sermon at Fifth Ave. Pres Church, Nov 14, 2004)
---

There is a well-known story about a man named Merle Miller, who wrote a biography of Harry Truman emphasizing how he was basically a moral person (though you don’t get to be President of the United States by reciting 150 psalms a day). A senator from Ohio, Senator Taft, approached him at the beginning of the Cold War, right after the conclusion of the Second World War, when Russia began to expand into Eastern Europe. At that time, the United States was the sole possessor of the atomic bomb. Taft half-jokingly said to Truman, “Mr. President, why don’t you drop a bomb on Moscow now and prevent this long struggle that we’re going to have to be engaged in?”Truman answered, “If I would not have to meet my Maker, I would accept your advice.”

-----

There was once a boy called pokie. He was really hungrie. So he called his friend pokiezi and she decided to go with him to get something to eat.

They came upon this shop selling buns. And so pokie and pokiezi each got a bun to eat. Pokiezi was a very hungry girl. Or was it pokie? Ok, let's say it was actually pokie. So pokiezi helped get pokie another bun to eat.

Pokie ate the second bun … but was still hungry. So pokiezi ordered another one for him.
Pokie ate the third bun … but was still hungry. So pokiezi ordered another one for him.
Pokie ate the fourth bun … but was still hungry. So pokiezi ordered another one for him.
Pokie ate the fifth bun … but was still hungry. So pokiezi ordered another one for him.
Pokie ate the sixth bun … but was still hungry. So pokiezi ordered another one for him.
Pokie ate the seventh bun … and was finally full!
"*Phew*" … thought pokiezi … "didn't know that he can eat that much! ;p"
But pokie was starting to appear a bit perplexed.
"What's wrong?" Pokiezi asked.

"I was just thinking … " pokie replied "I became full after eating the seventh bun."

"Yes … " Pokie offered … wondering if that was a hint for an eighth!

"So why didn't we just get the seventh bun for me? I mean, I could have eaten the seventh bun and be full already!"

"Don't be a silly gooosie pokie! You became full after eating the seventh bun only because you ate the first six buns!" countered smartie pokiezi.

"Really? I could have sworn I was not full at all when I ate the first six, but I am full, now that I ate the seventh! … … " quipped pokie.

Before pokie could further his analysis and spin his usual rhetoric, pokiezi dragged him out of the bun shop named "The seven-bun shop".

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Top ten ways the Bible would have been different if written by college students.

10). Loaves and Fishes replaced by Pizza and Chips9). Ten Commandments are actually only five, but because they are double-spaced and written in a large font, they look like ten.8). Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't dorm food.7). Paul's Letters to the Romans become Paul's E-Mail to the Romans.6). Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.5). The place where the end of the world occurs, not the Plains of Armageddon, rather Finals.4). Book of Armaments would be in there somewhere.3). Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like a Freshman.2). Tower of Babel blamed for Foreign Language requirement.1). Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter and hoped no one noticed.
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While visiting England, George W. Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they’re intelligent.
“I do so by asking them the right questions,” says the Queen. “Allow me to demonstrate.”
She phones Tony Blair and says, “Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?”
Tony Blair responds, “It’s me, ma’am.”
“Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir,” says the Queen. She hangs up and says, “Did you get that, Mr. Bush?”
“Yes ma’am. Thanks a lot. I’ll definitely be using that!”
Upon returning to Washington, he decides he’d better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, “Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me.”
“Why, of course, sir. What’s on your mind?”
“Uh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”
Helms hems and haws and finally asks, “Can I think about it and get back to you?” Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.
“Now look here Colin Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother, or your sister. Who is it?” Powell answers immediately, “It’s me, of course, you dumb ass.”
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, “I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It’s Colin Powell!” And Bush replies in disgust, “Wrong, you dumb ass, It’s Tony Blair!”

Source: http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokebushintelligence.htm

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Trapattoni: "A good manager makes a team 10 percent better and a bad manager makes it 30 percent worse."

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我在美國西點軍校教過書。軍校生一生中最重要的一點就是服從長官。不論這位長官是你喜歡的，還是不喜歡的，不論他的命令是你認同的、還是不認同的，你都要完全服從。軍隊裡傳出一個笑話：軍校生回答長官的任何話，總是答Yes, Sir.或No, Sir. 接下去再解釋原因。西點軍校的學生們研究出一個程式，可以蒐集世界新聞及資料，預測將來要發生的事件。這領域叫人工智慧(Artificial Intelligence)，有別於人的天然智慧。

國防部高級官員十分高興，決定來西點軍校視察。一位四星上將帶了隨從來到軍校，就在電腦面前問了一個問題：「將來美國與中國之間會不會因衝突而發生一場戰爭？」研究員就把問題輸入電腦，只見電腦快速運轉，好長一段時間，好不容易出來一個答案：Yes,(會的)，這位將軍想要知道清楚，究竟為甚麼會有戰爭，所以接下來再問：為甚麼？「Yes, what?」電腦接到這問題就用更長的時間運算。大家都快不耐煩了，電腦回答說：「Yes, Sir!」

軍隊裡的領導要完成任務，一定要把命令交給服從的下屬。正規軍所以能在很多關鍵時刻，戰勝比他們數目多幾倍的雜牌軍，就是在於雜牌軍服從的程度參差不齊。重要的任務交給雜牌軍不容易成功。(夏沛)

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再者，中國出現許多怪異現象：毒奶粉、假煙、假酒……許多人為了追求錢財，不惜用各樣不道德的手法獲利，造成社會中沒有信任。這是向錢看的價值觀所造成的結果,為達目的不擇手段的心態成了众人基本的信念。以往固有的道德標準，已經蕩然無存。因此，中國迫切需要的是建立一個良好的道德標準、道德體系。我們相信基督教是一個最合宜的解決方法。
今天在香港的居民都看得清楚: 許多大陸同胞來到香港搶購奶粉,因為中國曾發生含三聚氰胺(Melamine)的毒奶粉無數嬰兒受害,2010報告,至少有30萬嬰孩腎臟受損,五萬進了醫院。以致同胞對國內產品不放心。每年十一黃金週,大陸同胞蜂擁來香港購物。因為他們信任香港貨物的品牌。我的弟弟和弟妹因為工作的需要,經常往來上海、台灣兩地。他們告訴我,每次從台灣去上海,都帶上幾大箱台灣購買的食品,因為不放心食用國內的貨品。

我聽過一個故事:一位能幹、有為的青年,在國內創業。奮鬥了兩年,生意失敗,欠了一身債。心灰意冷,對人生絕望,買了瓶毒藥自殺。喝了之後沒死,因毒藥摻假。他認為這是天意要他活下去,於是發奮圖強,繼續努力。結果幾年後,踏上了成功之路。開個慶祝會,來感謝上天沒讓他自殺成功,以致能有今天。買了瓶好酒慶祝,喝了慶功酒結果中毒而死,原來酒裡摻有工業用的酒精。(夏沛)

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A little girl walked daily to and from school. Though the weather that morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her daily trip to school. As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning. The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her daughter would be frightened as she walked home from school, and she herself feared that the electrical storm might harm her child. Following the roar of thunder, lightning, like a flaming sword would cut through the sky. Full of concern, the mother quickly got in her car and drove along the route to her child's school. As she did so, she saw her little girl walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up and smile. Another and another were to follow quickly, each with the little girl stopping, looking up and smiling. Finally, the mother called over to her child and asked, "what are you doing?" The child answered, "smiling, God just keeps taking pictures of me."
-----

Gillian Slovo writes: ''He told us how one day when he had gone to hug his grown-up daughter she had flinched away from him and burst out, 'You are the father to all our people, but you have never had time to be a father to me.' This, he said, was his greatest, perhaps his only regret: that his children, and the children of his comrades, had been the ones to pay the price of their parents' commitment.''

I asked the President whether the public would continue to support the policy of amnesty as the horrifying truth of what happened to Steve Biko and others came out. ''In fact,'' he answered, ''some of the relatives of the victims have said, 'We don't want revenge, but we want to know what happened to our beloveds.' And that is an indication. If a person who has actually suffered can say that, then you know people understand that you can't build a united nation on the basis of revenge.' 'http://www.nytimes.com/1997/03/23/magazine/mandela-the-pol.html?pagewanted=all&src=pm

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Many years ago in a small Indian village, A farmer had the misfortune Of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal. So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would Have to pick one pebble from the bag. 1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven. 2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven. 3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail. They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As They talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he Picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two Black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick A pebble from the bag. Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have Done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you Have told her? Careful analysis would produce three possibilities: 1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble. 2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the money-lender as a cheat. 3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment. Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with The hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral And logical thinking. The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with Traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses The above logical answers. What would you recommend to the Girl to do? Well, here is what she did ....

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble.

Without Looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path Where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles. "Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the Bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I Picked." Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had Picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his Dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into An extremely advantageous one.

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Murray, 25, who believes his breakthrough at Flushing Meadows has made him more relaxed as a player, also said he was now better at controlling the angry bursts of frustration which have often flared during his matches.

“I think it depends how much it affects you in terms of duration of time,” he said.

“I mean, if it’s one point, and you get annoyed for 15 seconds afterwards and you can get back to playing the next point with good intensity, then it’s fine.

“When I was younger it used to last quite a long time and it would take me a while to get back into (the match).

-----

“No sight so sad as that of a naughty child," he began, "especially a naughty little girl. Do you know where the wicked go after death?"

"They go to hell," was my ready and orthodox answer.

"And what is hell? Can you tell me that?"

"A pit full of fire."

"And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?"

"No, sir."

"What must you do to avoid it?"

I deliberated a moment: my answer, when it did come was objectionable: "I must keep in good health and not die.”

― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

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A Microsoft (MSFT) study on office interruptions found that workers experienced an average of four interruptions per hour. For every 30-second distraction, the research firm Basex estimates it takes 5 minutes for workers to return to work. That’s 22 minutes wasted every hour, which, according to Basex, adds up to almost $1 trillion in productivity losses each year. http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-10-25/my-life-as-an-efficiency-squirrel
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In the breakthrough book on management “Built to Last,” authors James C. Collins and James I. Porras told an interesting parable – the parable of the black belt. A martial arts student, after working tirelessly many years for a hard-earned black belt, knelt before his teacher who was to confer him a black belt on the day of his graduation. The teacher asked: “Before granting the belt, you must pass one more test. You must answer the question: What is the true meaning of the black belt?” The student said, “The end of my journey. A well-deserved reward for all my hard work.” The master spoke: “You are not ready for the black belt. Return in one year.”

A year later the student returned and knelt again in front of the teacher. “What is the true meaning of the black belt?” asked the teacher. “A symbol of distinction and the highest achievement in our art,” said the student. The teacher again replied, “You are still not ready for the black belt. Return in one year.”

A year later, the wiser student was back and knelt once again in front of the teacher. And again the teacher asked, “What is the true meaning of the black belt?” Finally, the student replied to the master’s satisfaction: “The black belt represents the beginning – the start of a never-ending journey of discipline, work, and the pursuit of an ever-higher standard,” says the student. (Built to Last 199-200, James C. Collins and Jerry I. Porras. NY: Harper & Collins, 1994)
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爱的宣言
在这个庄严的场合里面，我向我亲爱的老婆郑重宣誓：老婆永远不会错；如果老婆有错，一定是我看错；如果我没看错，一定是我的错，才害老婆犯错；如果是老婆错，只要她不认错，她就没有错；如果老婆实在有错，尊重她的错，理解她的错，我才不会犯错；我郑重宣誓：老婆绝对不会错，这句话绝对不会错。

我承诺：家务全包（包括老婆外家的）收入全交（包括非法的）剩饭全吃（包括老婆吃剩的）老婆的话全听（包括不对的）
shopping全陪（包括男士止步的）我请在场各位亲朋好友见证，我对老婆的承诺：我会花我一辈子的时间，全心全意爱护同照顾老婆；尽我最大的努力令她生活得开心、幸福！

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So, what is it like winning gold? Ian Thorpe pauses for about 20 seconds, while his eyes moisten, with what looks like pain. “Imagine winning the lottery, but working for it.” Another long pause. “That’s the closest I can explain; so the joy of something like that, the 'I can’t believe it’s happened to me’ but knowing that you’ve put in every single piece of work.” http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/olympics/9468616/Ian-Thorpe-am-I-gay-Its-at-the-stage-I-just-say-whatever.html

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Christians may differ on a variety of points, but they have all one spiritual appetite; and if we cannot all feel alike, we can all feed alike on the bread of life sent down from heaven. At the table of fellowship with Jesus we are one bread and one cup. As the loving cup goes round we pledge one another heartily therein. Get nearer to Jesus, and you will find yourself linked more and more in spirit to all who are like yourself, supported by the same heavenly manna. If we were more near to Jesus we should be more near to one another. We likewise see in these words the source of strength for every Christian. To look at Christ is to live, but for strength to serve Him you must "come and dine." -Spurgeon
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Chuck Colson recalled the following incident: The Anacostia section of Washington D.C. is a ghetto of hunger, crime, drugs, and hopelessness. Few of Washington‘s celebrities and power brokers cross from the Capitol to this part of town. One morning however, black limousines and television trucks lined the curb in front of an old church in the heart of Anacostia. They waited for a wisp of a woman in a muslin sari. The celebrity they wanted to interview was the elderly Albanian nun known to the world now as Mother Theresa. Since she didn‘t come to them, the cameras and interviewers came to her.

“What do you hope to accomplish here?”‖ someone shouted.

The joy of loving and being loved‖ she smiled into the camera lights.

That takes a lot of money doesn‘t it‖ another reported queried. The more money something costs the more important it is in Washington.

Mother Theresa shook her head and said, “No, it takes a lot of sacrifice.”

The press was bewildered—they are accustomed to grandiose plans and huge budgets and trumpeting it all to the press. But her message was simple: Do something for someone else—love them.‖ A man in her ministry came to her complaining that his boss was interfering with his ability to do his ministry. He said, “My vocation is to work for the lepers. I want to spend myself for them.”‖ Mother Theresa stared and him and then gently said, “Your vocation is not to work for the lepers, your vocation is to belong to Jesus.”
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Spurgeon: Prayer is the falling of a tear. Tears are the diamonds of heaven; sighs are a part of the music of Jehovah's court, and are numbered with "the sublimest strains that reach the majesty on high."
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In Charles Colson book, Loving God (pp 214f), he tells the story of an incredible ninety-one-year-old woman, known affectionately Grandma Howells she moved into the twilight of her life, she had more than one reason to let depression take over--to just give up and die. Her youngest son had died. Her oldest son was in declining health. Many of her friends were dying and she had begin to believe that she had nothing left to live for. One day she prayed with all of her heart and told the Lord that if He didn have anything more for her to do, she was ready to die. According to Grandma Howell, God spoke three words: Write to prisoners. After arguing with the Lord about her lack of education and her age, Myrtle wrote her first letter:

Dear Inmate,
I am a grandmother who loves and cares for you who is in a place you had not plans to be.

My love and sympathy goes out to you. I am willing to be a friend to you in correspondence. If you like to hear from me, write me. I will answer every letter you write.

A Christian Friend,

Grandmother Howell

When the letter was sent to the Atlanta Penitentiary, the prison chaplain sent Myrtle the name of eight prison inmates. That was the beginning of an unbelievable ministry of encouragement. Over the next months, this elderly woman carried on an extensive written ministry with hundreds of incarcerated men and women--- and all of it was done from her little room in a high-rise home for the aged in Columbus, Georgia.

According to Colson, writing to the prisoners was only half of Myrtle joy. They wrote back! And their letters were warm, rich epistles of gratitude. One inmate who signed her name randmother Janice� wrote:

Dear Grandmother,

I received your letter and it made me sad when you wrote that you think you may not be alive much longer. I thought I would wait and come to see you and then tell you all you have meant to me. But now Ie changed my mind. I going to tell you now.

Youe given me all the love and concern and care that Ie missed for years and my whole outlook on life has changed. Youe made me realize that life is worth living and that it not all bad. You claim it all God doing, but I think you deserve the credit.

I didn't think I was capable
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Trapped in Sea with Rope around My Neck, I cried "Lord Save me"
A mother on board the Lamma IV with her family told last night of her life-or-death decision as disaster struck.

Hebe, 30, risked her own life by sliding down the slanted deck of the sinking vessel to grab two lifebelts to save her children.

But then an elderly woman asked her for one of them.

"I really hesitated," said Hebe, who was on her way back to the upper-deck cabin where her husband and daughters, aged six and four, waited.

"If I gave her one lifebuoy, I would have one less to save my daughters. In the end, I gave her one and went back to grab another. Bu t by that time, the vessel had tilted more and I dropped into the sea."

Hebe made her dash down the deck against her husband's wishes and had to struggle to save her own life.

But she managed to help save others before learning hours later that the rest of her family had survived the National Day collision between the Lamma IV and the public ferry Sea Smooth that claimed 38 lives.

She said her family was saved by a series of miracles.

After plunging into the sea, she found she was trapped under water by a rope wound around her neck.

"I cried, 'Lord, save me"," the Christian woman, who did not want her full name published, said. "And then after a while, the rope really unwound. So I swam up, but it seemed to take ages to get to the surface."

She then saved a struggling woman and her year-old son and helped them board a rescue boat. Meanwhile, the vessel had sunk into an increasingly vertical position in the water with her husband and daughters still trapped in the cabin.

The husband - who won a lucky draw with other Hong Kong Electric staff for the voyage to view the National Day fireworks - had time to untie only one of the tightly-attached safety vests from under the seats and gave it to his eldest daughter, who knew how to swim, so he could concentrate on saving the younger child.

"I told my elder daughter, in case of danger and if Daddy could not be with her, I would let her swim by herself so Daddy could take care of younger sister," he said.

He said he and his children were sitting on one of only two rows of seats that were intact and out of the water. One row was on top of them, with two to three adults.

All other rows of seats had broken free and were now under water. "When the vessel turned 70 to 80 degrees it was just like a domino effect - all the seats fell down."

He said the situation in the cabin was too horrible to recall. He placed his two daughters, who he said behaved very calmly, between his body and the seats to hold them firmly for 20 minutes before divers came to break the windows.

"I felt a bit anxious, yet peaceful at that time. I knew the Lord had arranged the seats for us. After a while, those seats also fell into the seas and we fell near the hole in the glass."

They had to struggle to get through the hole as many people were also fighting to get into the right space. The daughters and they rather were rescued separately by two boats. The family spent over two hours in three separate hospitals before learning they were all safe.

Hebe recalled that they were sitting on the deck when their vessel was hit by the ferry.

Many people fell down and were injured, including the younger daughter, whose nose and eyelids were bleeding.

The family then took refuge in the cabin where, she said, the "miracles" started to unfold.

South China Morning Post Oct 4, 2012
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Rabbi Simlai tracked the history of the commandments in the Bible and noted that Moses gave 613 commands - 365 yes’ and 248 no’s. King David then reduced them to eleven in Psalms 15, followed by the prophet Isaiah (33:14, 15) who condensed them to six, and later Micah 6:8 asked a question and shortened them to three: “What does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” The last of all, Habakkuk summarized them all to one, namely - “The righteous will live by his faith.” (Hab. 2:4) (7,700 Illustrations # 1495).

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"If I could be a manager, a football manager, and the moment I leave the club or the moment the match finished, if I could switch off a light and become a person that nobody knows, I would do it," he added. "Because I hate my social life. I hate not to be a normal father who goes with his son to the son's football match and being there with the other 20 fathers watching the match.
"I am in a football match of kids 10-12 years old and I have to be there, the people have to come for photos, the people have to come for autographs, the people have to come to insult me, the people have to go behind the goal of my kid and insult my kid of 12 years old. I would love to be with my family in the street as a normal person and I can't, so I am a completely different person in my private life.'' Jose Mourinho
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Charles Colson:

Heroism is an extraordinary feat of the flesh; holiness is an ordinary act of the spirit. One may bring personal glory; the other always gives God glory.

Loving God - really loving Him - means living out His commands no matter what the cost.

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The FBI puts an Ad in the newspaper, "Wanted FBI agents." After sorting through all the applicants they narrow it down to three. They bring the first in for an interview and the interviewing agent says to the gentleman, "We are the FBI, we solemnly do the duty of the country and always put the country before ourselves. Anything asked of us, we must do. Whether we like it or not. All our agents must be totally loyal." The guy responds that he always wanted to be an FBI agent and it has been his dream.
The agent then pulls out a gun and puts it on the table. "Please, go into the next room where your wife is and shoot her."
The gentleman gets a repulsed look upon his face. "I can't do that. She is my wife and I love her with all my heart!"
The agent than says that he just isn't FBI material, but thanks him for coming down.
They then bring in the second man. The agent goes over the speel of loyalty for the country above all else. "I always wanted to be an agent, my lifelong goal it was ever since I was a school boy," he replies.
The agent than proceeds to pull out the gun and place it on the table. "Please, go into the next room and shoot your wife," FBI agent says, calmly.
The man than replies, "I can't do that, although we have our problems, I can't kill her. She is the mother of my three kids...she's just too important."
The agent offers his respect, but with regret tells him that he just isn't FBI material.
Finally, the third gentleman is brought in. They go over the speel and the agent puts the gun on the table and asks him to go shoot his wife. The man nods, takes the gun and enters the next room.
Five or six shots are heard and then are proceeded by sounds of things slamming into the wall, tables splintering and shattering, muffled screams and metal bending. The FBI agent runs to the room with astonishment and confusion on his face.
"What did you do?"
The man calmly replies, "The gun was full of blanks, so I had to beat her to death with a chair!"
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Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
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Charlie Brown:
Ah, there's the bell! One more lunch hour out of the way. Two thousand, one hundred and twenty to go!

Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask "What is the meaning of life?" Then a voice comes to me that say "I before E except after C!"
Real love is standing behind a tree so you can see her when she leaves her house. Of course it can sometimes be embarrassing. Like when you discover you've been standing on the wrong side of the tree.
There must be millions of people all over the world who never get any love letters. I could be their leader.
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A little 'thank you' proves too much for most

Candy Chan The Standard, Thursday, April 05, 2012

Believe it or not, most Hong Kong people seem to choke on two common phrases - "excuse me" and "thank you." The Hong Kong Institute of Family Education said it interviewed about 600 parents and children aged 6 to 14, and that 80 percent said they or their children rarely say "excuse me" to domestic helpers or the elderly. Next on the list of impolite behavior is rushing for seats in trains and buses, and this is followed by the distinct lack of "thank you," even after receiving a gift.
Institute chairman Tik Chi-yuen said one reason for this lack of courtesy is the lack of family education on politeness.

"According to the survey, about 40 percent of the students said no one gave them appropriate guidelines on how to behave or the correct way to express themselves," Tik said.
He said the survey also showed that parents are partly to blame. "It was astonishing to note that about 70 percent of the parents also failed to say `thank you' to their parents and that 72 percent of them also rushed for seats while commuting." Ironically, 66 percent of parents regret not teaching their children to be polite and on their best behavior when faced with obstacles during school interviews. "Some children just interrupt their teachers and school principals during their interviews," Tik said. Lee Ka-chun, a Primary Six pupil who attends Ng Clan's Association Tai Pak Memorial School, said he was not aware that he was being isolated by his classmates and friends because of his bad manners. "If I did not like a person or looked down on him I would usually interrupt him when he was talking," the 13-year-old said. "I seldom paid attention to what others said." A new migrant mother called Ho said cultural differences are also to blame. "There is a big gap between the way mainlanders and Hong Kong people behave," she said. "Sometimes my husband and daughter, who was brought up in Hong Kong, would remind me to say `please."' Tik reminds parents to become role models on manners and politeness through daily example. "You cannot teach a person manners through punishment," he said. "You need to patiently convince children that they can gain the respect of others being polite." -----To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all!
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A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"

The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!

My sister went to the department store to check out the bridal registry of our niece whose wedding was coming up soon. When my sister returned from the store, she tossed the gift list on a table and declared, "I think she's too young to get married."

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"Because," she said, "they registered for Nintendo games."

A group of American tourists were taking a coach tour through England.

They passed a large field in which a young lad was digging, and the scene was so picturesque that the loudest, most talkative member of the party - a Texan, who else - shouted out, "Stop the bus. Stop the bus. I gotta get that picture, it's so British."

After objections from the driver, he prevailed and got out, walked over to the fence with his camera and shouted out to the boy, "Say, son, what your 'doin there?"

"Diggin potatoes," came the reply.

"Son, come down here and I'll take your photo. This is so good, the folks back home will love you."

So the boy walked down, carrying the sack he's been putting the potatoes in. His photo taken, the Texan said "what you got in the sack, son?"

"Potatoes."

"Show me one. I love potatoes."

So he pulled one out and handed it over. "You call that a potato?" the Texan asked incredulously. "Back home, we grow 'em three times as big. Great food for the mouth."

"Well, sir," replied the lad, "We too grow them just right size for our mouths."
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'Darling,' says Barry to his wife, Sarah, 'I invited a friend home for supper.'

'What? Are you crazy?' Sarah splutters, 'The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't much feel like cooking a fancy meal.'

'I know all that,' murmurs Barry.

'Then why did you invite a friend for supper?' explodes Sarah.

'Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married,' concludes Barry.
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A fellow 1990s DTS seminary graduate shared about his parents’ divorce and his mother left for good overseas. His father remarried but she was frustrated with her spouse because she was the sole breadwinner, so my friend always feared for his life living under the threat since she had the master key, One night she burst into the room to stab him when he was on the bed. She ploughed the knife but his father stepped and was stabbed in the back instead. My friend was shaken with fright and anger but he was ready the next time she opened the door. He said he used his drink milk energy to slap her. She turned one whole round and returned to her room.

My friend, an accomplished musician, carried a lot of fear and dread of his stepmother with him. His testimony was made into a DVD, worrying him endlessly that his stepmother could see the episode one day. When she died this year, he played for more than two hours on his cello as a tribute to her because when she left home for good, she mysteriously left behind a cello that she controlled– whether it was too big or clumsy. Then my friend had the chance to learn the cello after that.

The week after she died this year, the friend asked if I could pray with him. Sensing something was wrong, I asked two closest coworkers along. His tears flowed so freely sharing his fears that he had to rush into the restroom. He said he cried because all his fears were gone. A few months later, he had an opportunity to buy an instrument, a harp, for HK$37,000. He called his brother for a loan but his brother said his stepmother left him HK$50,000 in her will. Then he thanked God saying, “My stepmother left me a cello that made me who I am today when she left us the first time and a harp when she left us for good. God used her to turn the impossible to possible.”
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I CANNOT ACCEPT and wisdom to hide the evidence that I have been using the company property for personal purposes, including circulating my resume, searching for more rewarding and satisfying work. And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on as they may be connected to the butt that I may have to kiss tomorrow. Help me to always give 100% at work 12% on Mondays; 23% on Tuesdays; 40% on Wednesdays; 20% on Thursdays; and 5% on Fridays.”
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Man: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?

Bystander: It’s a girl. She’s my daughter.

Man: Oh, please forgive me, sir. I had no idea you were her father.

Bystander: I’m not. I’m her mother.
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Do you work on vacation?
No, not at all - 49%
Yes, to keep my head above water - 31%
Yes, because I enjoy my job - 7%
Yes, my employer expects me to - 7%
Yes, for fear of losing my job - 6%
travel.usatoday.com (USA Today Aug 2, 2012)
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When Queen Victoria was a child, she didn’t know she was in line for the throne of England. Her instructors, trying to prepare her for the future, were frustrated because they couldn’t motivate her. She just didn’t take her studies seriously. Finally, her teachers decided to tell her that one day she would become the queen of England.

Upon hearing this, Victoria quietly said, “Then I will be good.”

The realization that she had inherited this high calling gave her a sense of responsibility that profoundly affected her conduct from then on. (bible.org)
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Queen Victoria: bio from the Encyclopedia Britannica
Victoria served as the queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland from 1837 until 1901. In 1876 she also became empress of India. During her reign the English monarchy took on its modern ceremonial character.

Victoria first learned of her future role as a young princess during a history lesson when she was 10 years old. Almost four decades later Victoria's governess recalled that the future queen reacted to the discovery by declaring, "I will be good." This combination of earnestness and egotism marked Victoria as a child of the age that bears her name.
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When Bowman was asked what makes Phelps such a dominating swimmer, he pointed to his physical attributes (large feet and a long torso), the support of a swimming family, a superb work ethic and perhaps the greatest attribute of all - "his ability to focus under pressure."
http://sports.yahoo.com/news/phelps-says-hes-having-more-162828263--oly.html
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"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refuge in my attic."

"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."

"But I made him agree to pay me 20 Gulden for every week he stayed."

"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."

"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..."

"What is that, my son?"

"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
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A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change. -----

An English proverb says, “When elephants fight, it’s the grass that suffers.”

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An elderly lady came into her doctor’s office and confessed to an embarrassing problem: “Doctor, I don’t know what the problem is, but I just can’t stop farting all the time. It’s not really a problem socially because they’re soundless and they have no odor. In fact, since I’ve been here, I’ve passed gas no less than twenty times. What can I do?”

The doctor nodded, gave her some pills and advised her: “Here’s a prescription, Mrs. Barker. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week.”

The elderly lady followed the doctor’s orders faithfully but the problem did not go away, so the furious elderly lady marched into the doctor’s office the following week, and confronted the doctor: “Doctor, I don’t know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I’m passing gas just as much, and they’re still soundless, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?” “Calm down, Madam. It’s alright,” said the doctor soothingly. “Now that we’ve fixed your sinuses, we’ll work on your hearing.”

一位老婦人去看醫生，她告訴醫生一個難以啓齒的困擾：「醫生，我最近整天放屁，但是没有聲音，也不臭。不瞞你說，從我剛才進入你的辦公室，我已經放了二十多個屁了，我該怎麼辦？」

醫生說，「照這處方拿葯，一天三次按時吃葯。一個星期後再回來看我。」

一個星期後，老婦人氣沖沖的走進醫生的辦公室說：「醫生，我不知道你給我開了什麼藥，現在問題更糟糕，我的屁還是那麼多，一樣没聲音，但是臭得不得了。我看你反而幫了倒忙！看你要怎麼解釋？」

醫生不慌不忙的說：「老太太，不要急，現在妳的鼻炎已經治好了，接下來要治妳的聽力啦！」
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The attempt to combine wisdom and power has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while. Albert Einstein
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An old Arabic story tells about a thief who botched a burglary, broke his leg, but argued with the judge when he was caught: “I demand justice. I was minding my business when I saw an open window, but when I was climbing in, but the sill gave away. I fell to the ground, and broke my leg.”

The judge summoned to his court the house owner who explained to the judge: “Your Honor, it’s not my fault. I paid the carpenter good money to build my window. He should have built it so it wouldn’t fall apart.” The judge next sent for the carpenter, who said: “The truth is, I was feeling ill the day I nailed it together. I had eaten a pie from a baker’s shop, and it upset my stomach.” Next, the baker arrived at the court, and told his story: “Your Honor when I was making the pie, a beautiful woman in a beautiful dress came into my shop to buy pastries. That’s why I did not pay enough attention to my pies.” The woman who was brought told her side of the story: “Your Honor, as the baker himself said, “The dress caught his eye, not me. The dressmaker is the one to blame.”

Finally, the tongue-tied dressmaker appeared before the judge. He stammered, stuttered, and could think of anything to say. The judge ordered him hanged. But the dressmaker was too tall for the gallows, and so they found a shorter dressmaker in his place. (Adapted from The Moral Compass 606-608, William J. Bennett, NY: Simon & Schuster)
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Queen Victoria was a close friend of Principal and Mrs. Tullock, of St. Andrews. Prince Albert died and Victoria was left alone. Just at the same time, Principal Tullock died and Mrs. Tullock was left alone. Quite unexpectedly, Queen Victoria came to call on Mrs. Tullock when she was resting on a couch in her room. The Queen stepped forward. “My dear,” she said, “don’t rise. I am not coming to you today as a queen to a subject, but as one woman to another who has lost her husband.” She put herself in her friend’s place. That is what God did for us. That is what we should do for others.

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The Chinese have a saying, “When the crane and the clam fight, the fisherman gains鷸蚌相爭，漁翁得利.” The occasion for this story is the refusal of the crane to release the clam from its grip after the bird spotted the clam on land and pecked at its delicious flesh. The clam, in order to save its flesh, closed its shell instinctively and gripped the bird. The two did not back down, call it quits or give each other an inch but eyed each other tensely.

The crane dared the clam that was out of water, “You will be dead meat if it doesn’t rain soon.” The clam rebutted, “You cannot last a day without food, either.” The quarrel soon ended when a fisherman passing by nabbed the two defenseless creatures for food.

An English proverb says, “When elephants fight, it’s the grass that suffers.”
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During a spelling contest in which the prize was a fine Bible, the contestants were finally reduced to two—Betty, the daughter of a poor, hardworking widow, and Susan, the daughter of a well-to-do farmer. The sympathy of the school was with the poor girl. Finally Susan misspelled a word, and Betty won the coveted prize. Going home, Susan’s mother said to her daughter, “Couldn’t you have spelled that word?” “Yes, Mother.” “Then why didn’t you do it?” “Well, you know Betty is quite poor, and she doesn’t get many presents. She wanted the Bible very much, and she tried so hard for it that I thought I’d let her have it.” “What made you do that, Susie?” “My Sunday school lesson, Mother, which said, ‘in honor preferring one another.’ So I thought I’d try it, and I’m glad I did.” A few days later, Susan received as a birthday present a beautiful Bible, and on the flyleaf was written the text, “In honor preferring one another” (Rom 12:10).
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Henry Ward Beecher, while walking down a street, passed a newsboy shivering in the cold. Being moved with compassion toward him, the great preacher bought up all his newspapers, and when he handed over the money to him, he said, “Surely you are cold?” “I was,” replied the lad with a gulp, “till you passed, sir.”
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Chen Guangbiao (陳光標): “If you have only a glass of water then one person can drink. If you have a bucket a whole family can benefit. If you have a river, then you should share it with everyone."

「如果你有一杯水，你可以獨自享用；如果你有一桶水，你可以存放家中；但如果你有一條河，你就要學會與他人分享。」
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Top 10 Olympics controversies
No. 8 (1904): On a sweltering afternoon in St. Louis, Fred Lorz of the U.S. crossed the marathon finish line with no other runners in sight. The day was so hot and the course so poor — the only water available came from a well 12 miles into the race — that 18 of the 32 runners to start the race did not complete it. As it turned out, neither did Lorz. He tired after about nine miles, then jumped into a car for the next 11. The car broke down, so Lorz ran the rest of the way, and he was greeted as the winner. The fraud was quickly discovered, and Lorz confessed to what he said was a practical joke. He did win the Boston Marathon in 1905.
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“Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Wise men never court danger.
Wise men never argue with fools, because people from a distance can’t tell who is who.
"Almost everything comes from nothing.” – Henry F. Amiel
“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” – Joe Sabah
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A Persian fable says: “One day a wanderer found a pale-looking but sweet-scented lump of clay. Curious at the lump of clay’s fragrant smell, the wanderer asked the clay, “What are you? Are you a beautiful gem?” The clay said, “No, I am not.” “Are you a rare plant?” the wanderer again questioned. The clay again answered, “No, I am not that either.” The wanderer next queried, “Then you must be a costly merchandise?” The clay retorted, “No, I am just a lump of clay.” The frustrated wanderer then asked, “Then, how did you smell so good?” The lump of clay finally confessed, “I smell good because I have been dwelling with the rose.” (7,700 Illustrations # 7143)
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"People tell stories to provide meaning and understanding for life and existence. People tell stories to put the listeners and narrators in touch with the mystery of God, the mystery of the world, and the mystery of humanity. When asked who we are, we tell our own stories...Stories can capture the imagination, challenge, enlighten, provoke, instill values or deeply disturb people. Stories can put us in touch with God and ourselves.…" Paul J. Wharton, Stories & Parables for Preachers & Teachers, p. 1
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"Temper is what gets most of us into trouble. Pride is what keeps us there."
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A well-known organist was performing a concert on the huge, antique organ in the local Presbyterian church. The bellows were hand-pumped by a boy who was behind a screen, unseen by the audience. The first part of the performance was well received. The audience was thrilled by the organist’s ability at the keyboard of the old instrument. After taking his bows and accepting the ovation, the musician walked triumphantly into a side passageway. As he passed the boy he heard him say, "We played well, didn’t we, sir?"

The organist haughtily replied, "And what do you mean, we?"

After the intermission, the organist returned to his seat at the impressive five-keyboard console and began to play. But nothing happened; not a sound was heard. Then the organist heard a youthful voice whisper from behind the screen, "Say, mister, now do you know what ‘we’ means?"
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Those who know, do; those who understand, teach. Aristotle

The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. Aristotle
The mind should be a thing whch works. Edmund Burke
Example is the schoool of mankind, and they will learn at no other. Edmund Burke
He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches. George Bernard Shaw

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At the 2004 Athens Olympics, Phelps went on to win six gold and two bronze medals. Four years later in Beijing he earned an Olympic-record eight gold medals.

“I still wake up in the morning and pinch myself,” he said.

Although a middle school teacher once told him he would never be successful, Phelps said he achieved greatness by being objective-oriented.

“I started at a very young age. I began with small goals,” he explained. “I spent a lot of time in the water. But I had to do it to accomplish my goal.”

Phelps encouraged the youths to write down their own aims.

"Your goal should be something that gets you going in the morning,” he said. “I’m 26, and I still have goals. I leave them where I can see them. I still have things I want to accomplish.”
http://sports.inquirer.net/39161/phelps-eyes-life-after-swimming
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A hardworking little boy by the name of Theocrite sang the words “Praise God” like no one else. His praises not only kept him in good spirits, but it also brought joy to others, and praise from God. One day, a monk passing by heard him, and suggested: “I am sure God has heard you, but what if you were the Pope of Rome, singing God’s praises in St. Peters Church at Easter time in Rome?”

Theocrite thought that would be a tremendous achievement if he had the opportunity to do so. So the angel Gabriel who heard him, granted it, and he became the next Pope of Rome. Immediately God said, “How is it I do not hear the voice of Theocrite singing at his work?”

The angel, knowing this, became a boy and took Theocrite’s place, but he could do everything except one thing – sing praises to God. God said wistfully, “I hear a voice of praise, but not the way Theocrite sang it. I miss my little human praise.”

The angel then took off his disguise, went to Rome, found Theocrite, the new Pope of Rome, and said to him: “I took you from your work and made you the Pope of Rome, but I was mistaken. You could be a great Pope, but no one could fill your shoes, match your spirit, and take your voice of praise. (The Moral Compass 717-78, William J. Bennett)
-----

David Livingstone, the famous 19th century British doctor, missionary and explorer who had practically gave his heart to Africa, lived his life there, and served the natives, once replied those who glorified his sacrifice and contribution to Africa: “People talk of the sacrifice I have made in spending my life in Africa which is simply acknowledging a great debt I owe to our God, which we can never repay. Is that sacrifice which brings its owner reward in healthful activity, the consciousness of doing good, peace of mind, and a bright hope of a glorious destiny? It is emphatically no sacrifice. Rather, it is a privilege. Anxiety, sickness, suffering, danger, foregoing the common conveniences of this life – these may make us pause, and cause the spirit to waver, and the soul to sink; but let his only be for a moment. All these are nothing compared with the glory which shall later be revealed in and through us. I never made a sacrifice. Of this we ought not to talk, when we remember the great sacrifice which He made who left His Father’s throne on high to give himself for us.”
-----

A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist. Stewart Alsop.
Plan for this world as if you expect to live forever; but plan for the hereafter as if you expect to die tomorrow. - Solomon Ibn Gabirol
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“You can shed tears that she is gone,

or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”
David Harkins
-----

The world's richest billionaire in 2012, according to Forbes, is Carlos Slim of Mexico, far richer than Bill Gates’ $62 billion and Warren Buffett’s $44 billion. Slim is worth more than $69 billion and while he could afford the world's most extravagant luxuries he rarely indulges. He, like Warren Buffett, doesn't own a yacht or plane and he has lived in the same home for over 40 years. Slim drives an aging Mercedes-Benz. monitors the use of toilet paper at his company, and demands that lights be switched off when people leave their offices. In 2006, Carlos Slim donated $1.8 billion to charitable cause including giving away 95,000 bicycles to children of poor families to ride to their schools, 70,000 pairs of eyeglasses, and scholarships to 150,000 university students. He doesn't own a single home outside and plans to donate upwards of 10 billion more dollars over the next four years to help fund Mexican health and education programs. Buffet still lives in the home he purchased 50 years ago for $31,500. Ikea Founder Ingvar Kamprad drives around in his 15-year old Volvo, flies in the economy class and is known to avoid wearing suits. (Yap)

-----

Alibaba Group CEO Jack Ma said, “Money and wealth are two different concepts. If you have money, but have not turned this money into an experience to elevate your own or other people’s level of happiness, then you may very well only possess a lot of symbols and a mountain of very colorful pieces of paper.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/23/business/global/23donate.html
-----

"What were you in for?" asked the friend.

"I found a horse."

"Found a horse? Nonsense! They wouldn't jug you for finding a horse."

"Well, but you see I found him before the owner lost him."
-----

A lawyer having offices in a large office building recently lost a cuff-link, one of a pair that he greatly prized. Being absolutely certain that he had dropped the link somewhere in the building he posted this notice:

"Lost. A gold cuff-link. The owner, William Ward, will deeply appreciate its immediate return."

That afternoon, on passing the door whereon this notice was posted, what were the feelings of the lawyer to observe that appended thereto were these lines:

"The finder of the missing cuff-link would deem it a great favor if the owner would kindly lose the other link."
-----

Shortly after midterm exams a student stopped me as I was walking across campus. I asked her how her tests had gone and she said they were not too tough, except for one professor’s. "Her tests are impossible to pass," she said. "I have to study so much harder for her tests just to keep up my grades."

"But," I asked, "do you learn more from all that studying for her tests, or from the teachers that are not so difficult?"

"Well, yes, I do seem to understand her course better," she explained. "But does she have to be so tough?"

So I asked her if she had ever sharpened a knife.

"Yes," she said, "my Daddy taught my how to sharpen a knife when we went on a family camping trip."

"Did you use a stone or a towel?" I asked.

"What," she questioned, "you can’t sharpen a knife on a towel!"

"Exactly!" I answered. "You can’t sharpen a knife on a towel. A knife can only be sharpened on a hard surface so that it will be sharp enough to fulfill its purpose and cut what needs cutting." I continued, "Students, and children, too, cannot be sharpened on soft surfaces. They are sharpened on the hard surfaces of teachers and parents, so that they will be sharp enough to cut it in life and fulfill their life purpose."
Brian Cavanaugh
-----

This guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him and shows him the doors to three rooms and says he must choose one of the rooms to spend eternity in. So Satan opens the first door. In the room there are people standing in cow manure up to their necks. The guy says "No, please show me the next room". Satan shows him the next room and this has people with cow manure up to their noses. And so he says no again. Finally, Satan shows him the third and final room. This time there are people in there with cow manure up to their knees drinking cups of tea and eating cakes. So the guy says, "I'll choose this room". Satan says O.K. The guys is standing in there eating his cake and drinking his tea thinking, "Well, it could be worse", when the door opens. Satan pops his head around, and says "O.K. tea-break is over. Back on your heads!"

---

If you have seen Fiddler on the Roof, you may remember that the rabbi of the tiny Jewish community in Russia was asked by a student concerning a blessing for the Tzar of Russia. With the song “Tradition” playing in the background, the student came up to the beloved rabbi, the town’s most important person, and asked him how to pray for the powerful Tzar: “Rabbi ( Rabbi), may I ask you a question?” “Of course, Leibesh” the rabbi replied. “Is there a proper blessing for the Tzar?” Everybody can’t help but roared in laughter when the Rabbi said, “A blessing for the Tzar? Of course. May God bless and keep the Tzar…far away from us!”
-----

Fred Craddock once told the story of Oswald Goltar. He was a missionary sent to preach the gospel in India near the end of World War II. After many months the time came for a trip back home. His church wired him the money to book passage on a steamer but when he got to the port city he discovered a boatload of Jews who had escaped from Germany had just been allowed to land temporarily. They had been wandering and had no place to go, so they were all crammed in an attic.

It happened to be Christmas, and on Christmas morning, this missionary went to one of the attics where the Jews were staying. He walked in and said, “Merry Christmas.” The people looked at him as if he were crazy and responded, “We’re Jews.” “I know that,” said the missionary, “What would you like for Christmas?” In utter amazement the Jews responded, “Why, we like pastries, good pastries like the ones we used to have in Germany.”

So Oswald Goltar went out and used the money for his ticket home to buy pastries for all the Jews he could find staying in the port. Of course, he then had to wire home asking for more money to book his passage back to the States. His superiors wired back, asking what happened to the money they had already sent. He wired that he had used it to buy Christmas pastries for some Jews. His superiors wired back, “Why did you do that? They don’t even believe in Jesus.” He wired back, “Yes, but I do.”
-----

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.

"Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates real well and I act like I'm listening."
-----

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi are discussing how each celebrates
Christmas.
The priest says, "We have a 12 o'clock high mass, then we go home
and gather around the Christmas tree and sing 'Ave Maria' ".
The minister says, "Our traditions are very similar. We have an
11 o'clock candlelight service, then gather around the Christmas
Tree and sing 'O Come all Ye Faithful'".
The rabbi says, "Well, we close the stores early, gather around
cash register, and sing "What a Friend We Have in Jesus.
-----

With a pile of 300 resumes on his desk and a need to pick someone quickly, my boss told me to make calls on the bottom 50 and toss the rest.

"Throw away 250 resumes?”

I asked, shocked, “What if the best candidates are in there?”

"You have a point,” he said. “But then again, I don’t need people with bad luck here.”
-----

There was this man who was in a horrible accident, and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the amputation of both of his ears. As a result of this "unusual" handicap, he was very self-conscious about his having no ears.

Because of the accident, he received a large sum of money from the insurance company. It was always his dream to own his own business, so he decided with all this money he had, he now had the means to own a business. So he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business.

He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them.

The first interview went really well. He really liked this guy. His last question for this first candidate was "Do you notice anything unusual about me?" The guy said, "Now that you mention it, you have no ears." The man got really upset and threw the guy out.

The second interview went even better than the first. This candidate was much better than the first. Again, to conclude the interview, the man asked the same question again, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?"

The guy also noticed, "Yes, you have no ears." The man was really upset again, and threw this second candidate out.

Then he had the third interview. The third candidate was even better than the second, the best out of all of them. Almost certain that he wanted to hire this guy, the man once again asked, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?"

The guy replied "Yeah, I bet you are wearing contact lenses."

Surprised, the man then asked, "Wow! That's quite perceptive of you! How could you tell?"

The guy burst out laughing and said you can't wear glasses if you don't have any ears!
-----

"Pleasure brightens briefly, like a match;

Happiness flickers longer, like a candle;

Joy glows constantly, like an eternal flame." William Ward
-----

A criminal with a long record of transgressions was on trial for his latest crime. The jury found him guilty on 33 counts and the judge sentenced him to 189 years. Realizing that even with time off for good behavior he would be over one hundred when he was released, the prisoner burst into tears.

Noting this display of remorse, the judge reconsidered. He said, "I didn't mean to be so severe. Thinking it over, I can see that I've imposed an extremely harsh sentence. So you don't have to serve the whole time." The prisoner beamed with new found hope until the judge leaned toward him and said, "Just do a much as you can."
-----

Jacob was a cheater, Peter had a temper, David had an affair, Noah got drunk, Jonah ran from God, Paul was a murderer, Gideon was insecure, Miriam was a gossiper, Martha was a worrier, Thomas was a doubter, Sara was impatient, Elijah was moody, Moses stuttered, Zaccheus was short, Abraham was old, and Lazarus was dead….

Now, what’s YOUR excuse? Can God use you or not?

God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the CALLED!!!
-----

Jesus' Report card from grade school ...

SUBJECT GRADE TEACHERS COMMENT

Religion D To the question "Who made the world?"
persisted in answering 'My dad'. Claims bible
originated from the same source.

English D+ Tends to speak and write in archaic forms and
uses outmoded figures of speech.

History A Excellent pupil of ancient and Religious
History.

Geography C- Assignment on 'Hot, dry lands' was excellent,
but shows little interest in the rest. In
geology, keeps talking about the Rock of Ages
instead of the ages of Rock.

Social B+ Shows keen interest in social issues.
Studies

Mathematics E Lacks basics. Keeps muttering about
'Three in one' and 'I and the father are
one'.

General D Lacks discipline - e.g., when asked to repeat
Science the experiment for making hydrogen, claims
he knew a better way.

Graphic D Prefers to draw with a stick in the sand
Communication to pencil and paper.

Consumer C+ Interesting ideas about alternative life
Education style: Something about living like sparrows
and lilies of the fields...too impractical.

Art Craft B Obviously has imagination and creativity,
a good potter - likes working with dirt
and water.

Material A Excellent in woodwork section. Obviously
Studies receives help and stimulation at home.

Music/ B+ A keen member of the school choir. On
Drama occasions can be frighteningly dramatic.

Community A Keen and interested in all aspects of
Living community.

Physical D- A trouble maker e.g. during the learn-to-swim
Education campaign insisted on trying to walk across
the pool.

Health A Shows a remarkable aptitude for first aid
Classes and knowledge of the body.

CLASS TEACHERS COMMENT: This boy has a very unhealthy tendency to form
gangs. He has organized twelve of his friends into a gang and is seen
constantly in the company of the children of publicans and sinners. He
needs to be more selective in his choice of friends. Also, he should
learn to keep his hair at a tidy length and not wear sandals with the
school uniform.
-----

A Letter from "Mom n Dad"...

My child,

When I get old, I hope you understand 'n have patience with me
In case I break the plate, or spill soup on the table because I'm losing my eyesight, I hope you don't yell at me.
Older people are sensitive, always having self pity when you yell.
When my hearing gets worse 'n I can't hear what you're saying, I hope you don't call me 'Deaf!'
Please repeat what you said or write it down.

I'm sorry, my child.
I'm getting older.
When my knees get weaker, I hope you have the patience to help me get up.
Like how I used to help you while you were little, learning how to walk.
Please bear with me, when I keep repeating myself like a broken record, I hope you just keep listening to me.
Please don't make fun of me, or get sick of listening to me.

Do you remember when you were little 'n you wanted a ballon? You repeated yourself over 'n over until you get what you wanted.
Please also pardon my smell. I smell like an old person.Please don't force me to shower.
My body is weak.
Old people get sick easily when they're cold. I hope I don't gross you out.

Do you remember when you were little? I used to chase you around because you didn't want to shower.
I hope you can be patient with me when I'm always cranky. It's all part of getting old.
You'll understand when you're older.
'n if you have spare time, I hope we can talk even for a few minutes.
I'm always all by myself all the time, 'n have no one to talk to.
I know you're busy with work.
Even if you're not interested in my stories, please have time for me.

Do you remember when you were little? I used to listen to your stories about your teddy bear.
When the time comes, 'n I get ill 'n bedridden, I hope you have the patience to take care of me.
I'm sorry if I accidentally wet the bed or make a mess.
I hope you have the patience to take care of me during the last few moments of my life.
I'm not going to last much longer, anyway.
When the time of my death comes, I hope you hold my hand 'n give me strength to face death.

'n don't worry..
When I finally meet our creator, I will whisper in his ear to bless you. Because you loved your Mom 'n Dad.
Thank you so much for your care.
We love you. !
-----

Doubt vs. Faith Doubt sees the obstacles. Faith sees the way. Doubt sees the darkest night. Faith sees the day. Doubt dreads to take a step. Faith soars on high. Doubt questions,'Who believes' Faith answers,'I'.
-----

His father, Siegfried, was a master baker in Stuttgart, Germany, and expected his four sons to help him in the family bakery, preparing pretzels, bread rolls and pastries before the crack of dawn.

Even when Jurgen (Klinsman) was offered a professional soccer contract at age 16, his father insisted he complete a 21/2-year baker's apprenticeship, just in case his first career choice didn't work out.

The diploma still hangs at Backerei Klinsmann 30 years later, where Klinsmann's older brother, Horst, has replaced their deceased father as master baker. Their mother, Martha, works the counter. Curious soccer fans flock there from all over Europe to see where the German legend, 1990 World Cup star and newly hired U.S. national team coach got his start.

Though Klinsmann could still bake a mean pretzel "no problem" if he had to ("completely different level than what you find here," he said, smiling), he never had to fall back on his baking skills. But he said those early mornings covered in flour molded him and guide him as he follows a holistic, new-age recipe to whip up the U.S. team.

"When you're 16, 17, you don't think about those things, but when you look back, you realize, there's a person, my dad, that works 14 to 16 hours a day," he said. "Compare that to an hour and a half of training for us. It's a gift from God to be able to do professional sports and have an income doing something that you love to do anyway. I think that is the biggest lesson you get, and I tell players that."
http://www.sacbee.com/2011/10/11/3974304/values-baked-into-klinsmann-at.html
----

The things, good Lord, that I pray for, give me your grace to labor for. St. Thomas More
-----

Father Murphy walked into a pub and said to the first man he met, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man replied, "I do Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked a second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
-----

Laszlo Cseh, 26, is not the first in his family to swim in a superstar’s heavy wake. His father, Laszlo Sr., was a backstroker who competed in the 1968 and 1972 Summer Olympics against Roland Matthes, an East German who did not lose a backstroke race from 1967 to 1974.

“I know about that,” Cseh said, “but I don’t talk about it with my father.”

Matthes’s unbeaten streak was snapped at a duel meet in Northern California by the American John Naber, who also ended Matthes’s two-Olympic reign as the backstroke king at the 1976 Summer Games in Montreal.

Naber’s strategy for dethroning Matthes was to stop chasing him.

“The only way I could imagine beating Roland was to think how fast did I believe he was going to swim and race the clock,” Naber said in a telephone interview. “That way I was just racing an impersonal, dispassionate number and not the Iceman, which is how I considered Roland because he was impenetrable and very resourceful.”

The time Naber set as his goal in the 100 backstroke, he said, was 55.50 seconds. He captured the Olympic gold medal in Montreal with a clocking of 55.49.
"Laszlo Cseh Uses Silver as a Steppingstone"-----

It comes from saying no to 1,000 things to make sure we don't get on the wrong track or try to do too much. We're always thinking about new markets we could enter, but it's only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important. Steve Jobs

-----

If a child comes to Christ first, there is a 6% chance the entire family will. If a wife/mother comes to Christ first, there is an 18% chance the entire family will. If the husband/father comes to Christ first, there is a 94% chance the entire family will. Statiscally, why would you target any other demographic than adult men! So remove the flower arrangement from your lobby and put in a Harley. Make your music loud and with power. Only 4% of Generation Y (the technology generation) is actively attending church. (Brian Dodd)
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I had been taught all of my life how to die, but no one had ever taught me how to grow old...The Bible says that God has a reason for keeping us here; if He didn't, He would take us to Heaven far sooner....I can't truthfully say that I have liked growing older. Bily Graham
-----

Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.

10 men and 1 woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, Because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.

She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping...

(Guess what happened?)
-----

One beautiful Sunday morning, a priest announced to his congregation: "My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons...a $100 sermon that lasts five minutes, a $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes, and a $10 sermon that lasts a full hour.

"Now, we'll take the collection and see which one I'll deliver."
-----

Father Murphy walked into a pub and said to the first man he met, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man replied, "I do Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked a second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
-----

A man who had died was waiting at heavens gate to enter the kingdom of God. He had lived a perfect life and had a clear idea in his mind what heaven would be like. He had foregone all the earthly pleasures and just knew his rewards were going to be great. He had gone over repeatedly in his mind how much great fun he was going to have in heaven.

As he was waiting, he saw a cloud pass by. As the cloud got closer, he saw people on the cloud having a great time. They were singing, dancing, and having great fun. They were dining on exquisite food, wearing the best clothes, and drinking the best wines, and laughter and merriment echoed through the sky. Yes, that was what he had expected it would be like.

His escort arrived at the gate. The escort told the man that he had lived a good life and he was going to now take him to his new home. The man said, "If it is all the same to you, I would like to live on that cloud!" The escort told the man that it was not possible and that what awaited him was far greater anyway. However, the man persisted so the escort asked him to wait while he went to talk to the "Boss". Upon returning, the escort stated the "Boss" had always allowed people to choose but made it clear that he would be much happier in his originally intended home. The man replied, "I have often thought of what heaven would be like and forgone the pleasures on earth to get my reward here, so if it all the same to you, I want to live on that cloud." The escort sighed, and then granted his wish.

In an instant, the man was standing in the hottest, smelliest, and most disgusting place he had ever seen in his whole life. The strange noises were blood curdling and the whole place was chaos. He was in Hell.

An escort arrived to take him to his job. "Job?" the man replied. "Yes, we work hard down here," said the escort. There must be some mistake; the place I requested was a nice cloud with people singing, dancing, and having the best time of their life!" The escort looked puzzled at first and then started laughing hysterically. The man asked why the escort was laughing so hard. The escort replied, "You new people are so funny- you think you can show up here and get an assignment in the advertising department! You think you can get a promotion like that right away!"
-----

I went blind twenty years ago. At first, I walked around pitying myself. Then one day my eleven-year-old daughter said something that gave my life a boost forever.

One Saturday, she came to me and asked me to build her a periscope so she could look over tall things like fences. I told her that all she had to do was go out and buy me a couple of small mirrors. She came running back within minutes, and in less than an hour, with the help of cardboard and scissors and sticky tape, a periscope came off my workbench.

Susan hurried to demonstrate her new toy to the boy from next door. “My daddy made that,” she told him casually.

"Your daddy made that?” he objected. “But your daddy is blind.”

"Yes, my daddy is blind,” she repeated. “But he’s not blind with his hands.
- David Blackhall in Reader's Digest
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John Wesley on one of his countless journeys shared a carriage with an Army officer. They had a lively interesting conversation, but the officer’s language was slated with swear words. Though it went against Wesley’s grain, he showed no displeasure.

When the coach stopped for lunch break, Wesley used the opportunity to have a word with the officer. “I wonder if I might ask you a favor, “Wesley asked. “We will be traveling some distance together, and if I should forget myself and use a swear word in front of the ladies, would you kindly correct me?”

The officer got the point immediately and painlessly.

That is known as kindness in word. -William Barclay
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Hungry for Time
“Mummy, why don’t you want to play with me?”
“Because I don’t have any time.”
“Why don’t you have any time?”
“Because I’ve got to go to work.”
“Why do you have to go to work?”
“So I can earn some money.”
“Why do you want to earn money?”
“So I can give you something to eat.”
Here there was a short pause.
Then Nellie said, “Mummy, I’m not hungry.” -Willi Hoffsuemmer
-----

Albert Schweitzer is known all over the world as a theologian, a philosopher, a medical doctor, and a musician; but most of all, as a dedicated missionary who spent more than 50 years nursing lepers in the jungles of Lambarene in West Africa.

Once when he was on home leave back in Europe, some of his relatives asked him for advice on the best way to raise children. Schweitzer did not launch out into a long explanation. His answer was cut and dried, short and simple and, therefore, all the more convincing.

"So you want to know the best way of raising children?,” he said. “Well, first by good example. Second, by good example. Third, by good example.” -Bert Balling
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A married couple came to a counselor for advice. No sooner were they seated, and then they began speaking at the same time in a duel of criticisms. When they finally stopped for lack of breath, the counselor suggested that now they tell each other all the good they see in one another. There was total silence.

Then each was given a ballpen and a sheet of paper and told to write down something praiseworthy about the other. Neither of them wrote. They both sat and stared at the paper. After what seemed like a long time, the husband started to write something. At once the wife also began to write- fast and furiously.

Finally the writing stopped. There was silence again. The wife pushed her paper over to the watching counselor. He pushed it back signaling that she was to give it directly to her husband. She reluctantly shoved the paper halfway across the table. He took it and in turn, slid his paper towards his wife.

Each began to read. The counselor watched… Soon a tear slid down the cheek of the wife. She crumpled the paper in her fist and held it tight. That proved that she treasured the sudden revelation of good things her husband had expressed about her. The whole atmosphere of the room changed. There was no need for anything to be said. Praise had healed a thousand of wounds.

The husband and the wife left arm in arm. -Carlos Valles
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a Mother is she watches her middle - aged children for signs of improvement.

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The man had a parrot on his shoulder and he went into a bar. The parrot said "People, People." The man said, "Yes, parrot, these are people who come to the bar." The man went to a church that Sunday and he took the parrot with him. The parrot said, "People, people." The man said, "No, parrot, these are church people." The parrot said, "Same people; same people!"
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Bus passengers seem to be getting more careless with their possessions. Smartphones, cash - totalling HK$2 million - and more unusual things such as dentures and marriage certificates are some of the nearly 70,000 items found on KMB's fleet from July 2010 to June this year, up 8 per cent from the year before.

Of the 5,400-odd mobile phones lost, only 2/3 were recovered by their owners. The company recorded more than 6,300 incidences of cash found in purses or wallets, amounting to HK$2 million. Octopus cards are the most commonly lost item - with more than 8,600 cards. Only 63% were recovered by their owners. Other smaller items included HK identity cards, jewellry, and more unusual items including wigs, Chinese opera costumes and wigs. Bulky items such as baby strollers, luggages, and guitars were found.

Owners can reclaim their property within three months. If they do not, finders get the right to them. However, objects containing personal data such as USB flash drives and SIM cards are destroyed if unclaimed.
"Lost on the Buses" SCMP Aug 24 2011
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Israeli scientists found that the factor most closely linked to health was the support of co-workers: Less-kind colleagues were associated with a higher risk of dying. While this correlation might not be surprising, the magnitude of the effect is unsettling. According to the data, middle-age workers with little or no "peer social support" in the workplace were 2.4 times more likely to die during the study.
Source: Jonah Lehrer, WSJ, on the importance of good colleagues. Caveat: Correlation may not be causation.
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One of our great British exports to America, Harvard historian Niall Ferguson, has a fascinating passage in his recent book “Civilization,” in which he asks whether the West can maintain its primacy on the world stage or if it is a civilization in decline.

He quotes a member of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, tasked with finding out what gave the West its dominance. He said: At first we thought it was your guns. Then we thought it was your political system, democracy. Then we said it was your economic system, capitalism. But for the last 20 years, we have known that it was your religion.
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Steve Goodier

Don’t pray for fewer problems; pray for more skills. Don’t ask for smaller challenges; ask for greater wisdom. Don’t look for an easy way out; look for the best possible outcome. When life gives you a kick, let it kick you forward."
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St. Francis de Sales

"Look at the bees. They suck bitter juice from thyme and by their nature convert it into honey. Devout souls find many hardships, it is true, but in accepting them, they convert bitterness into sweetness."
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Ernest Kurtz, The Spirituality of Imperfection, p. 133

"[A] journey becomes a pilgrimage as we discover, day by day, that the distance traveled is less important than the experience gained."

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B.C. Forbes

"There are two brands of discontent: the brand that merely fosters greed and snarling and back-biting, and the brand that inspires greater and greater effort to reach the desired goal. Which is your brand?"
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Fr. Anthony De Mello, SJ, More One Minute Nonsense

When one of the disciples was guilty of a serious error in judgment everyone expected the Master to give him a harsh punishment.

When nothing was done for an entire month someone remonstrated with the Master: "We cannot ignore what has happened. After all, God has given us eyes."

"Yes," replied the Master, "and eyelids!"
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Leadership, July 2, 1996, p.12

Three frogs sat on a log and two decided to jump off. How many frogs were left on the log?

One?

Although most people answer "one," the correct answer is "three." Just because the frogs decided to jump off the log does not necessarily mean that they actually did jump.

Is there a gap between what you decide to do and what you actually do?

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When he was a lieutenant in the Navy in 1960 Huntsman would take $50 out of his $320 monthly paycheck and give it to Navy Relief to help veterans' families. That was in addition to the $32 he tithed to the Mormon Church. Jon Huntsman Sr: "The time to give away money is when you make it....You don't have the formula right. It should be 80%. Why should someone who has $5 billion only give away $2.5 billion? They can't take it with them." ("In the Pocket, Out the Other" Forbes Asia June 2011)
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Yani Tseng: "You need a goal. I wannted to be at the same tournament with Annika, and that motivated me to progress. If you've got a dream, you've got to carry it out." ("Teeing Off for Taiwan" 2.5 billion? They can't take it with them." ("In the Pocket, Out the Other" Forbes Asia June 2011)
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LUCY: You know what your trouble is, Charlie Brown? The whole trouble with you is you don’t understand the meaning of life.

CHARLIE BROWN: Do you understand the meaning of life?

LUCY: We’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you.

— Charles Schulz http://eppsnet.com/tag/charles-schulz
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Martin Luther once said, "There are only two days on my calendar: Today and That Day."
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Pastor Bob was a great preacher, and much loved by his congregation. He visited the sick, preached a great sermon, and had a loving wife..who could play the organ and type sermons...and had 3 perfect children.........However..............Pastor Bob always left town at 2 in the afternoon and was gone for one hour. LIke clockwork. Soon the parishioners became uneasy with Pastor Bob's curious schedule and began to ask questions. They went to the PPR Committee (Pastor Parish Relations Committee) with their concerns. "Could Pastor Bob have a girlfriend in the neighboring town?" Unsure of what to do, and not wanting to confront him on their own, they went to the D.S. The D.S. didn't want to touch it....so he went to the Bishop. Finally after prayer and deliberation the Bishop went to Pastor Bob, and asked him about his curious goings and comings; so he invited the Bishop to join him at 2:00 that afternoon. They drove to a high hill over looking the small town and the railroad track that ran through the valley. After sitting there quietly for some time.......a beautiful silver train streaked through the valley at very high speed. He turned to the Bishop and said,"Isn't that a beautiful sight?" "Yes," the Bishop agreed, "that is a beautiful sight. And is this where you come every afternoon?" "Yes," said Pastor Bob. "I come here to be inspired. It is the only thing moving that I don't have to push!!"
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我們很不善於說＂謝謝＂怎麼說呢？我聽說過，我們就像一位小男孩，他從一個生日派對回家後，他的母親就問：「鮑比，你有沒有感謝這位女士所預備生日派對呢？」「嗯，我正要去的時候。但我前面的一位女孩向她道謝時，然後女士回答她，別再提這事了。所以我就沒有說了！」

We're not very good at saying "Thank you," are we? We're like a little boy I heard about. On his return from a birthday party, his mother queried, "Bobby, did you thank the lady for the party?"
"Well, I was going to. But a girl ahead of me said, 'Thank you,' and the lady told her not to mention it. So I didn't."
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惠靈頓將軍的名聲在滑鐵盧戰役勝利後而出名，他成為印度的總督。當他的任職結束時，他回到了英國，並受到偉大熱烈的歡迎。現代的宣教是在初期階段，Carey在印度工作時，而英國對於傳教士是否是神屬意的宣教負擔，並且是否值得這樣做？而明顯地意見分歧。一個反對海外宣教的貴族之一，他立刻對公爵提出和詢問：「您在印度，那裏有一些設法拯救印度人的傳教士，這些盲信者做些什麼工作？請告訴我您的看法—從事宣教的報償是什麼？」這位堅定的公爵閃爍著眼睛，如同他的回答：「先生，我有多年來是指揮官。印度是我做戰鬥計劃的地方。並且，當我告訴一個將軍要做什麼時，我盼望他能做到，而不是問是否得到報償？基督告訴我們要進入這個世界並傳福音到每個文化，這是我們要服從的事，不需要問是否有報償？」（

After Lord Wellington had become famous because of his victory at the Battle of Waterloo, he was made governor general of India. At the close of his tenure of office he returned to England, where a great ovation was given him. Modern missions were in their infancy. Carey was working in India, and England was sharply divided as to whether missionary affort was of God and whether it paid. One of England's notables who was against foreign missions was presented to the Duke, and almost immediately he asked, "You have been in India, where a few fanatics are doing what they call missionary work and trying to save the Hindoos. Tell me please, what is your opinion--do missions pay?" The Iron Duke's eyes flashed as he replied: "Sir, I have for years been commander. It is my place to make the plans for the battle. And when I tell a general what to do, I expect him to do it, and not ask me if it will pay. Christ told us to go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. It is our business to obey, not to question whether or not it pays."
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記者採訪了一位成功扶養一個非常大的家庭的寡婦。除了她自己的6個孩子之外，她還收養了其他12個小孩，而且，所有的小孩她都以恆心和信心撫養他們長大。當記者問及她成功的重要秘密時，她的回答使新聞記者相當驚奇。她說：「我可以管理的如此好是因為我處在一個合作的關係裏！」記者問：「什麼意思？」寡婦回答：「多年前我向神祈禱：『主啊！我負責工作，祢負責憂慮。』」從此之後，我沒有任何一點焦慮的事。

A widow who had successfully raised a very large family was being interviewed by a reporter. In addition to six children of her own, she had adopted 12 other youngsters, and through it all she had maintained stability and an air of confidence. When asked the secret of her outstanding accomplishment, her answer to the newsman was quite surprising. She said "I managed so well because I'm in a partnership!" "What do you mean?" he inquired. The woman replied, "Many years ago I said, 'Lord, I'll do the work and You do the worrying.' And I haven't had an anxious care since."
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During the Vietnam War, a young West Point graduate was sent to lead a company of new recruits. One night he and his men were overrun by the Viet Cong. During the ensuing battle, the young lieutenant was able to get all his men to safety--except one. The soldier who was left behind was badly wounded. From their trenches, the rest of the company could hear their comrade moaning and calling for help. To climb out of the trench to attempt a rescue would have meant almost certain death. Eventually the young lieutenant could endure the wounded man's crying no longer. He crawled out and stealthily made his way toward the wounded soldier. Finally reaching him, he pulled him back to the trench. But just as he pushed the wounded man over the side of the trench, a bullet ripped through the lieutenant's back, killing him instantly.

Several months later, the rescued man returned to the States. When the dead hero's parents learned this man was in the vicinity, they planned to have him to dinner. They wanted to know this young man whose life was spared at such a great cost to them. On the evening of their dinner party, the honored guest arrived late. He was drunk. He was loud and obnoxious. He told off-color jokes, seasoned his
language with profanity, and showed no concern for his hosts' feelings. The lieutenant's parents did what they could to redeem the evening, but to no avail. At the end of the ordeal, the husband ushered the obscene visitor to the door. As he bid the guest goodnight and closed the door, his wife collapsed in tears, crying, "To think that our precious son had to die for somebody like that!"
Anthony Campolo
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There’s a folktale about a young man who aspired to great holiness. After working some time to achieve it, he went to see his village priest.

"Father," he announced, "I think I’ve achieved sanctity."

"How so?" asked the priest.

"Well," answered the young man, "I’ve been practicing virtue and discipline for some time now, and I’ve become quite proficient at them. From the time the sun rises until it sets, I take no food or water. All day, I do hard work and sacrifice for others.

"If I have temptations of the flesh, I roll in thorn bushes or in sorrow. And at night, before bed, I practice the ancient monastic discipline and administer lashes to my bare back."

The priest was silent for a time gazing out a window. Slowly he turned toward the young man and pointed out the window to a mule hauling a tinker’s wagon.

"I’ve been watching that mule pull that wagon," said the priest. "It doesn’t get fed or watered from morning to night. All day long it works hard for people. Sometimes I’ve noticed it brushing against bushes or rolling in the snow when unharnessed, and I’ve frequently seen lashes of the whip strike its back.

But I ask you, "Is that a saint or a mule?"

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Little Chad was a shy, quiet young fella. One day he came home and told his mother, he'd like to make a valentine for everyone in his class. Her heart sank. She thought, "I wish he wouldn't do that!" because she had watched the children when they walked home from school. Her Chad was always behind them. They laughed and hung on to each other and talked to each other. But Chad was never included. Nevertheless, she decided she would go along with her son. So she purchased the paper and glue and crayons. For three whole weeks, night after night, Chad painstakingly made thirty-five valentines.

Valentine's Day dawned, and Chad was beside himself with excitement! He carefully stacked them up, put them in a bag, and bolted out the door. His mom decided to bake him his favorite cookies and serve them up warm and nice with a cool glass of milk when he came home from school. She just knew he would be disappointed -- maybe that would ease the pain a little. It hurt her to think that he wouldn't get many valentines -- maybe none at all. That afternoon she had the cookies and milk on the table. When she heard the children outside she looked out the window. Sure enough there they came, laughing and having the best time. And, as always, there was Chad in the rear. He walked a little faster than usual. She fully expected him to burst into tears as soon as he got inside. His arms were empty, she noticed, and when the door opened she choked back the tears.

"Mommy has some warm cookies and milk for you."

But he hardly heard her words. He just marched right on by, his face aglow, and all he could say was: "Not a one -- not a one." Her heart sank. And then he added, "I didn't forget a one, not a single one!" Dale Galloway
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我的朋友克裏斯．布羅爾說：「領導風範不可能是藉著要求而來的，而是藉著贏得人心而自然得到的。有鑒於此，有人曾告訴你“老闆”和“領袖”之間的差別嗎？」
1. 老闆逼迫人；領袖輔導人。
2. 老闆倚仗權力；領袖具親和力。
3. 老闆引起恐懼; 領袖激發熱情。
4. 老闆說”我”；領袖說“我們”。
5. 老闆說“準時到這裡”；領袖說“提早到那裡”。
6. 老闆專注在責備損壞之處；領袖專注在損壞之處。
7. 老闆知道怎麼做；領袖示範怎麼做。
8. 老闆使工作單調；領袖使工作像遊戲。
9. 老闆說“去”；領袖說“我們去”。
10. 老闆辯解或留下責備；領袖承擔責任。

10 Differences Between a Boss and a Leader
My Friend Chris Bloor has a saying; Leadership cannot be demaded - only earaned and deserved.

With that in mind, has anyone ever told you the difference between a boss and a leader?

1.The boss drives people; the leader coaches them.
2.The boss depends upon authority; the leader on good will.
3.The boss inspires fear; the leader inspires enthusiasm.
4.The boss says ‘I’; the leader says ‘we.’
5.The boss says ‘Get here on time’; the leader gets there ahead of time.
6.The boss fixes the blame for the breakdown; the leader fixes the breakdown.
7.The boss knows how it is done; the leader shows how.
8.The boss makes work a drudgery; the leader makes work a game.
9.The boss says ‘Go’; the leader says ‘Let’s go.’”
10.The boss justifies or lays blame - the leader takes responsibility.
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亞歷山大大帝的部隊當向波斯進攻時。曾經在一個臨界點，他的部隊似乎要被擊敗。士兵們帶著很多他們前戰的戰利品所以他們感到沉重和失去戰鬥的效力。亞歷山大立刻命令把所有的戰利品堆在一起然後燒掉它。他們都抱怨，可是不久就看到那命令的智慧。一個人如此寫：「那好像所給他們的翅膀——他們可以再輕鬆的走了。」勝利是肯定的了。成為基督的軍兵，我們必須扔掉所有能阻礙我們與我們屬靈仇敵的爭戰。讓戰鬥有效力，我們必須穿戴上帝所賜的全副軍裝（弗六11-17）。

The army of Alexander the Great was advancing on Persia. At one critical point, it appeared that his troops might be defeated. The soldiers had taken so much plunder from their previous campaigns that they had become weighted down and were losing their effectiveness in combat. Alexander immediately commanded that all the spoils be thrown into a heap and burned. The men complained bitterly, but soon came to see the wisdom of the order. Someone wrote, "It was as if wings had been given to them -- they walked lightly again." Victory was assured. As soldiers of Christ we must rid ourselves of anything that would hinder us in the conflict with our spiritual enemy. And to fight the battle effectively, we must be clad only with the armor of God (Eph. 6:11-17). Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations
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"你有要點，"是從那老猶太人教士的故事稱在解决争端。每一方有它的個案，猶太教教士撫摸了他長的鬍子並且說明，"你有要點!" 猶太教教士的太太，觀察那過程，驚嘆，"怎麼可以他們都是對，"這老人家撫摸著他的鬍子回應，"妳有要點!"

"You have a point," is from the story of the old Jewish Rabbi who was called upon to settle a dispute. As each side made its case, the Rabbi stroked his long beard and remarked, "You have a point!" The Rabbi's wife, watching the proceedings, exclaims, "How can they both be right," to which the old man responds with a stroke of his beard, "You have a point!"
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在墨西哥局部地方有溫泉和冷溫泉並排一起—－由於這自然现象利便婦女們常常帶來她們的洗衣物在溫泉中燙沸衣服然后又在冷的部分清洗。有遊客，觀寮這個做法後作出評論給他墨西哥的朋友和導遊："我想像他們認為老自然是相當慷慨地供應乾淨熱和冷水在這裡同時出現讓他們自由地使用？"導遊回答，"不是先生，有很多投訴，因為她不供應肥皂."

In some parts of Mexico hot springs and cold springs are found side by side -- and because of the convenience of this natural phenomenon the women often bring their laundry and boil their clothes in the hot springs and then rinse them in the cold ones. A tourist, who was watching this procedure commented to his Mexican friend and guide: "I imagine that they think old Mother Nature is pretty generous to supply clean hot and cold water here side by side for their free use?" The guide replied, "No senor, there is much grumbling because she supplies no soap."
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亞歷山大MacLaren在一場題名為“被試煉的信心和王冠”的佈道中，將被試探和被試驗或磨練之間的差別作了區分。他說：「被試探一詞傳達了要引出人性至惡的部分，並因著順從這惡念而可能使人犯錯；後者則引出人性想要至善的一面，並因著這樣的渴望使他覺得應該站住。」試探說：「做這令人愉悅的事吧，不要因它是錯誤的事實而受到阻礙。」；試驗或檢驗說：「做這件正確和高尚的事吧!，不要因為它是痛苦的事而受阻礙。」前者對靈魂而言，是甜美、陶醉及完全沉浸放鬆的旋律；後者則是像斑駁掉漆的喇叭，卻吹出無與倫比的號聲。

Alexander MacLaren, in a sermon entitled "Faith Tested and Crowned," distinguished between being tempted and being tested or tried. He said that, "the former word conveys the idea of appealing to the worst part of man, with the wish that he may yield and do the wrong. The latter means an appeal to the better part of man, with the desire that he should stand. Temptation says, 'Do this pleasant thing; do not be hindered by the fact that it is wrong.' Trial or proving says, 'Do this right and noble thing; do not be hindered by the fact that it is painful.' The one is a sweet, beguiling melody, breathing soft indulgence and relaxation over the soul; the other is a peeling trumpet-call to high achievements."
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在內戰期間，棉花交易是非法的，但是許多肆無忌憚的投機商設法買進南方的棉花，通過聯合路線將之以最大的利潤賣到北方。這些投機商之一接近了密西西比汽船的船長，如果船長願意將他的棉花載到河那邊，就給他$100元。船長拒絕了，並提醒他這是非法的。投機商說：「我將給您$500元。」船長回答：「不。」投機商說：「我將給您$1000元。」船長再次回答：「不。」投機商說：「我將給您$3000元。」這時，船長拔出他的手槍並對著這個人，說：「下船，你已經要到達我的價格了。」（試探、貪財、金錢）

In the days of the Civil War, it was illegal to trade in cotton; but many unscrupulous speculators tried to buy cotton in the South, run it through the Union lines, and sell it at great profit in the North. One of these speculators approached a Mississippi steamboat captain and offered him $100 if he would run his cotton up the river for him. The captain declined, reminding him that it was illegal. "I will give you $500, said the man. "No," answered the captain. "I will give you $1000." "No," the captain said again. "I will give you $3000." At that, the captain drew his pistol, and pointing it at the man, he said, "Get off this boat! You are coming too near my price."
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音樂會的小提琴手有一個兄弟是水泥工。一天，有一個婦女滔滔不絕地對水泥工說：「能與這麼出名的小提琴成為家人，肯定是很美的。」當時，她並沒有想要羞辱水泥工，她繼續地說：「當然，我們並非所有的人都有同樣的天分，即使在同一個家庭，有些人似乎比其他人有更多天分。」水泥工說：「妳是在說我!!我的那個小提琴家兄弟並不懂得如何疊磚塊，如果他不能因演奏小提琴而賺一些錢，他就不能聘用一個像我一樣會蓋房子的人，如果他必須自己蓋房子，那他將會把房子蓋成斷垣殘壁。」

A concert violinist had a brother who was a bricklayer. One day a woman gushed to the bricklayer, "It must be wonderful to be in a family with such a famous violinist." Then, not wanting to insult the bricklayer, she said, "Of course we don't all have the same talents, and even in a family, some just seem to have more talent than others." The bricklayer said, "You're telling me! That violinist brother of mine doesn't know a thing about laying bricks. And if he couldn't make some money playing that fiddle of his, he couldn't hire a guy with know-how like mine to build a house. If he had to build a house himself he'd be ruined."
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有位綱琴家說：你知道，我必須每天練琴。如果我一天不練琴，我會感受到差異了。如果我二天不練琴，那麼任何人都聽得出來差異。

A pianist said, "You know, I must practice every day. If I don't practice one day I know the difference. If I don't practice two days, those who hear me know the difference."
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一個年輕女孩坐在冰淇淋店的櫃臺，她問：「聖代冰淇淋要多少錢？」女服務員幾乎不看一下這個女孩就說：「五十分。」女孩張開了她的手並且看著她的硬幣。她問：「如果只是簡單的一盤冰淇淋要多少錢？」女服務員很惱怒地大聲說：「三十五分！」女孩計數了35分並且遞給女服務員，「我要吃簡單的冰淇淋。」女服務員不說話地收了錢，並且拿了冰淇淋來。在小顧客吃完並且離開之後，女服務員清潔盤子時，突然滿臉羞愧，因為在盤子旁邊，整齊地放著二鎳和五便士，那是她的小費。

A young girl sat at the counter of an ice cream store. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" she asked. "Fifty cents," the waitress said with hardly a glance at the child. The girl opened her fist and looked at her coins. She asked, "How much is a dish of just plain ice cream?" Annoyed, the waitress snapped, "Thirty-five cents!" The girl counted out 35 cents and handed it to the waitress. "I'll take the plain ice cream."
The waitress took the money without a word and brought the ice cream.
After the small customer had eaten and left, the waitress, cleaning up, suddenly flushed with shame. There, placed neatly beside the dish were two nickels and five pennies-her tip.
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一個婦人在她貧窮時已經為基督做了許多，而且有一筆很大的金額將要給她。她說：「啊!我不可能做得和過去一樣的多。」有些人問：「但以前是如何做到的？」她說：「過去當我捐一個鎳幣時，我的心希望是捐一個銀幣；但是現在當我捐一個銀幣時，我的心只想捐一個鎳幣。」

"Ah!" said a woman who in her poverty had done much for Christ and who had a great sum willed to her, "I cannot do as much as I used to do." "But how is that?" someone asked. Said she, "When I had a nickel purse I had a silver heart, but now I have a silver purse and I have only a nickel heart."
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Gustav Dore, the famous artist, lost his passport while traveling in Europe. He was at a certain boundary post between two countries and the officer in charge asked him for his passport. Dore fumbled about and finally announced, "I have lost my passport, but it is all right. I'm Dore, the artist. Please let me go in." The officer replied, "Oh, no. We have plenty of people representing themselves as this or that great person! Here is a pencil and paper. Now, if you are Dore, the artist, prove it by drawing me a picture! " Dore took the pencil and drew some pictures of scenes in the immediate area.
"Now, I am perfectly sure that you are Dore. No one else could draw like that! " said the officer as he allowed the great artist to enter the country.
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D. L. Moody told of two merchants between whom there was great rivalry and bitter feeling. One of them was converted. He went to his minister and said, "I'm still jealous of that man, and I don't know how to overcome it." "Well," said the minister, "if a man comes into your store to buy goods, and you cannot supply him, just send him over to your neighbor." He said he wouldn't like to do that. "Well," said the minister, "you do it and you will kill jealousy." Sure enough, when he began sending customers over to his rival for goods he himself could not supply, the rival began to send customers over to this man's store, and the breach was healed.
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Both Samuel Chase of Maryland and Elbridge Gerry of Massachusetts were among the original signers of the Declaration of Independence.

Chase, a huge man of 250 pounds, was asked by Gerry why he was willing to risk his significant property holdings to sign the Declaration.

Chase turned to the frail Gerry and replied, "It's you who will have the far more difficult time. With your slight build, you're likely to keep dangling on the gallows while I will only but suffer for a moment."
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Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence?

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died. Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons in the Revolutionary Army, another had two sons captured. Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or the hardships of the Revolutionary War.

They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.

What kind of men were they? Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists.

Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners, men of means, well educated. But they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.

Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.

Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.

Vandals or soldiers or both, looted the properties of Ellery, Clymer, Hall, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.
At the Battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis, had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. The owner quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.

Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.
John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying.

Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his grist mill were laid waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished. A few weeks later he died from exhaustion and a broken heart.
Norris and Livingston suffered similar fates.

Such were the stories and sacrifices of the American Revolution.

These were not wild-eyed, rabble-rousing ruffians. They were soft- spoken men of means and education. They had security, but they valued liberty more. Standing tall, straight, and unwavering, they pledged: "For the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of the Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other, our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor." They gave us a free and independent America. We intend to keep it! Will you make that commitment, too?
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有一天A.J. Gordon遇見一個在唱歌的老人。Gordon博士說：「朋友，一個老人為什麼應該是很快樂的？」老人：「不是所有的老人都是快樂的。」Gordon：「那麼，為什麼你是快樂的？」老人：「因為我屬於主。」「在你的生命歲月中，難道沒有其他快樂的事嗎？」「是的，沒有其他快樂的事，我親切的發問者。」老人將身體挺直的說：「要從了解真理的人身上聆聽真理，六十個人中沒有一個人能了解真理，而找到真理的人有十個會拒絕真理：魔鬼沒有快樂的老人！」威廉摩西Tidwell：「這是很中肯的說明。

One day A. J. Gordon met an old man singing. "Friend," said Dr. Gordon, "why should an old man be so cheerful?" "Not all are." "Well, then, why are you?" "Because I belong to the Lord." "And are none others happy at your time of life?" "No, not one, my friendly questioner," said he, and his form straightened. "Listen to the truth from one who knows, and no man of threescore and ten shall be found to deny it: The devil has no happy old men!" William Moses Tidwell, "Pointed Illustrations."
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龍菲樂能拿一張沒有價值的紙片，在上頭寫詩，而使之價值$6,000元-- 那是天才。
洛克菲勒能在一張紙上簽名而使之價值數百萬元-- 那是資本家。
山姆大叔可以用金幣，蓋上老鷹的印，使之價值$20元 -- 那是金錢。
技工能將價值$5.00的材料，做成價值$50.00的物品 -- 那是技術。
藝術家能用一塊五十分的油畫布，在其上畫一幅畫，使之價值$1,000元 -- 那是藝術。
上帝能將一個沒有價值、有罪的生命，用基督的血潔淨他，並將聖靈放在他心裏，使他成為人類的祝福-- 那是救恩。

Longfellow could take a worthless sheet of paper, write a poem on it, and make it worth $6,000 -- that is genius.

Rockefeller could sign his name to a piece of paper and make it worth millions -- that is capital.

Uncle Sam can take gold, stamp an eagle on it, and make it worth $20 -- that is money.

A mechanic can take material worth $5.00 and make an article worth $50.00 -- that is skill.

An artist can take a fifty-cent piece of canvas, paint a picture on it, and make it worth $1,000 -- that is art.

God can take a worthless, sinful life, wash it in the blood of Christ, put His Spirit in it, and make it a blessing to humanity -- that is salvation. Copied.
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A pious old slave had a wicked master. This master had much confidence, however, in the slave's piety. Sometimes the master would be serious and thoughtful about religion. One day he came to the old slave with the New Testament in his hand and asked if he would explain a passage for him. The slave was willing to try and asked what it was.

"It is here in the Romans," said the master. "Have you done all that it tells you to do in Matthew, Mark, and John?" inquired the slave, seriously fixing his eye upon his master's. "No, I haven't," he said.

"Then you're getting along too fast, too fast, master. Go back to the beginning of the Book; do all it tells you till you get to Romans, and you will understand it easy enough then, for the Book says, 'If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine.'"
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每當馬達加斯加海島當地皈依基督教的人在自己的浸禮時，經常被問及：「帶領你想要成為基督徒的首要因素是什麼？是一場特別的佈道、講道或是讀神的話？」答案通常是因為一些基督徒行為上的改變，吸引了他們的注意。「我認識這個人是竊賊；那個人是醉漢；另一個對他的家人是非常殘暴和不友善的。現在他們全部都改變了：這個竊賊變成一個誠實的人；醉漢變得清醒和可敬；另一個在家中則是温和、體貼。在這個宗教中一定有什麼重要的人或事，才能使他們發生這樣的轉變。」

When native converts of the island of Madagascar used to present themselves for baptism, it was often asked of them, "What first led you to think of becoming Christians? Was it a particular sermon or address or the reading of God's Word?" The answer usually was that the changed conduct of others who had become Christians was what first arrested their attention. "I knew this man to be a thief; that one was a drunkard; another was very cruel and unkind to his family. Now they are all changed. The thief is an honest man; the drunkard is sober and respectable; and the other is gentle and kind in his home. There must be something in a religion that can work such changes."
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In the mountains of the West, it is related, there is a place called "The Death Leap." It is far up in the mountains where two rocks protrude. The distance between them is about thirty feet. The deer had been chased by the hounds and came to this "death leap." There was no way around. It is said the deer came to this fearful pass and stopped and listened to the oncoming dogs. Then it backed up some distance and came bounding for the leap. But, as it came near and saw the yawning precipice, its courage failed. Again it listened to the oncoming hounds, which were much nearer. It was cross or die. The second time it backed up even farther than before, and with a mighty bound it sought to reach the other side; but the distance was too great. The deer fell and was crushed on the rocks more than two hundred feet below.

We may love the world and reject Christ. But one day, when the end comes and we look across the mighty, yawning chasm, we will need Christ. He said, "I am the way." He is the Way across. We will need Him and want Him then.
William Moses Tidwell, "Pointed Illustrations."
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丹尼爾・韋伯斯特曾經被公認是所有活著的美國人中最偉大的。他是傑出的政治家、律師、演說者和領袖。二十五個國家的領袖參與了他的榮譽的一場精心的盛宴。宴會中有一個人問韋伯斯特：「先生，曾經進入您腦海中的最偉大的想法是什麼？」韋伯斯特毫不猶豫地回答：「曾經進入我腦海中最偉大的想法是我對上帝的責任。」卡爾G.約翰遜

At one time, Daniel Webster was considered the greatest of all living Americans. He was outstanding as a statesman, lawyer, orator, and leader of men. Twenty-five national leaders attended a select banquet in his honor. One man at the banquet asked Mr. Webster, "Sir, what is the greatest thought that ever entered your mind?" Without hesitation, Webster replied, "The greatest thought that ever entered my mind was the thought of my responsibility to God." Carl G. Johnson
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A beggar stopped a lawyer on the street in a large southern city and asked him for a quarter. Taking a long, hard look into the man's unshaven face, the attorney asked, "Don't I know you from somewhere?" "You should," came the reply. "I'm your former classmate. Remember, second floor, old Main Hall?" "Why Sam, of course I know you!" Without further question the lawyer wrote a check for $100. "Here, take this and get a new start. I don't care what's happened in the past, it's the future that counts." And with that he hurried on.

Tears welled up in the man's eyes as he walked to a bank nearby.

Stopping at the door, he saw through the glass well-dressed tellers and the spotlessly clean interior. Then he looked at his filthy rags.

"They won't take this from me. They'll swear that I forged it," he muttered as he turned away.

The next day the two men met again. "Why Sam, what did you do with my check? Gamble it away? Drink it up?" "No," said the beggar as he pulled it out of his dirty shirt pocket and told why he hadn't cashed it. "Listen, friend," said the lawyer. "What makes that check good is not your clothes or appearance, but my signature. Go on, cash it!"
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It is said that Whitefield at one time dined with Lady Huntington: an unconverted brother of his was present. During the dinner hour, Mr.

Whitefield and Lady Huntington had a religious conversation. Such was the nature of it that this brother's attention was arrested, and he was so deeply impressed that all at once he dropped his knife and fork, and threw up his hands and cried, "I am lost! I am lost! I am lost!" "Thank God!" said Lady Huntington. "Why? Why do you exult over my lost condition?" "O, I can not help it," she says; "I am so glad you are lost--so glad!" "But why, why, do have such ecstasies over my lost condition?" "Simply because Jesus Christ came into the world to seek and save that which was lost. Now, sir, if you have found out that you are lost, there is some hope of your being saved." Albert P Graves
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David Livingstone wrote in his journal on one occasion concerning his "selfless" life:
People talk of the sacrifice I have made in spending so much of my life in Africa. Can that be called a sacrifice which is simply paying back a small part of the great debt owing to our God, which we can never repay? Is that a sacrifice which brings its own blest reward in healthful activity, the consciousness of doing good, peace of mind and a bright hope of glorious destiny hereafter? Away with the word in such a view and with such a thought! It is emphatically no sacrifice. Say rather it is a privilege. Samuel Young
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"I really can't see why I need to be baptized," said a young man who had been for a long time hesitating over the question of confessing Christ. "He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved," quoted the preacher. "Yes, I know," returned the objector triumphantly, "but it doesn't say you can't be saved without it." "I think you said you were not going to the symphony concert tonight," said the preacher, irrelevantly picking up a handbill that lay on the table. "May I ask why you are not going? You are certainly fond of music." "I can't afford to go," returned the young man, wonderingly.

"The admission is two dollars." "Oh yes, I know it says 'Admission two dollars' on the bills, "but I notice one thing, it doesn't say you can't get in without the two dollars," was the significant reply. Mattie M. Boteler
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A drowning boy was struggling in the water. On shore, stood his mother in an agony of fright and grief. By her side, stood a strong man, seemingly indifferent to the boy's fate. Again and again did the suffering mother appeal to him to save her boy, but he made no move.

By and by the desperate struggles began to abate. He was losing strength. Presently he arose to the surface, weak and helpless. At once the strong man leaped into the stream and brought the boy in safety to the shore. "Why did you not save my boy sooner?" cried the now grateful mother. "Madam, I could not save your boy as long as he struggled. He would have dragged us both to certain death. But when he grew weak, and ceased to struggle, then it was easy to save him."

To struggle to save ourselves, is simply to hinder Christ from saving us. To come to the place of faith, we must pass from the place of effort to the place of accepted helplessness. Our very efforts to save ourselves turn us aside from that attitude of helpless dependence upon Christ which is the one attitude we must take in order that He may save us. It is only when we "cease from our own works" and depend helplessly upon Him that we realize how perfectly able He is to save without any aid from us.
James H. McConkey
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On a dark and stormy night, a child was lost in the streets of a large city. A policeman found him crying in distress, and gathering enough from his story to locate the home, gave him directions after this manner. "Just go down this street half a mile, turn and cross the big iron bridge, then turn to your right and follow the river down a little way, and you'll see where you are." The poor child, only half comprehending, chilled and bewildered by the storm, turned about blindly, when another voice spoke in a kindly tone, "Just come with me." The little hand was clasped in a stronger one, the corner of a warm coat was thrown over the shoulders of the shivering child, and the way home was made easy. The first man had told the way; the second man became the way. This is exactly what the Lord Jesus Christ has been for us. From eternity He has told us that He is the Way. He has to become our Light also, to lead us to the Way.
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On a crowded street of one of our large cities, a young man was snatched from the path of a speeding truck, his life saved by a venerable-looking man. Still breathless from fright, the youth thanked the one who saved his life and then was lost in the crowd. Two weeks later in a crowded courtroom, an anxious young man stood in the prisoner's box to be sentenced for murder.

"Young man, have you anything to say before the sentence of death is passed upon you?" "Why! Yes! Yes, Judge," the youth responded, "you know me." A silence moved like a shock wave over the courtroom. "I'm sorry. I cannot place you."

"Yes. Surely you remember. Two weeks ago. At Main and Seventh Streets, you saved my life. Surely, Judge, you can do something to save me now." A silence pervaded the courtroom. "Young man, now I do remember you. But that day I was your savior. Today I am your judge."
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亞歷山大大帝的部隊當向波斯進攻時。曾經在一個臨界點，他的部隊似乎要被擊敗。士兵們帶著很多他們前戰的戰利品所以他們感到沉重和失去戰鬥的效力。亞歷山大立刻命令把所有的戰利品堆在一起然後燒掉它。他們都抱怨，可是不久就看到那命令的智慧。一個人如此寫：「那好像所給他們的翅膀——他們可以再輕鬆的走了。」勝利是肯定的了。成為基督的軍兵，我們必須扔掉所有能阻礙我們與我們屬靈仇敵的爭戰。讓戰鬥有效力，我們必須穿戴上帝所賜的全副軍裝（弗六11-17）。

When Leonardo da Vinci painted The Last Supper on the wall in Milan, Italy convent dining room, the monks began to have many questions about his ability, and his integrity. The picture was merely a copy of the dining area in which it was being painted. The table, the linen, even the dishes used by the monks, were all identical to those in the picture.

Some of the monks thought da Vinci was taking advantage of his contract to paint this picture. They were resentful of his long periods of inactivity, when da Vinci would stand for hours without touching his brush to the wall in front of him.

When they asked da Vinci about this apparent inactivity, he replied, "When I pause the longest, I make my most telling strokes with my brush."
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慕迪先生經常被描繪成是個耿直的人。有一回在慕迪先生的一個會議中，有人起來並提供慕迪一些自己的經驗。他說：「我已經有五年的時間在變相山上了。」慕迪先生用尖銳的問題立即打斷他的話：「您去年帶領了多少靈魂歸向基督？」這人驚訝的回答：「哦！我不知道。」然後，一名堅定的牧師問：「您有帶領任何一個人嗎？」這人說：「啊！我不知道我有。」慕迪先生更加堅定、厲聲地說：「那麼，我們不想要那種山頂的經驗。當一個人可以到達這麼高，他卻不能在伸手可及的距離上下來並拯救可憐的罪人，一定有什麼地方是錯誤的。」

Blunt common sense always characterized Mr. Moody. Once a man rose in one of his meetings to give his experience. "I have been for five years on the Mount of Transfiguration," he said.

Instantly Mr. Moody interrupted him by the sharp question, "How many souls did you lead to Christ last year?'

"Well, I don't know," answered the surprised man.

"Have you led any?" then came sternly from the preacher.

"I-ah-don't know that I have," said the man.

"Then," snapped Mr. Moody, still more sternly, "we don't want that kind of mountain-top experience. When a man gets so high that he can't reach down and save poor sinners, there is something wrong." Selected
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A little fellow in the ghetto was teased by one who said, "If God loves you, why doesn't he take care of you? Why doesn't God tell someone to bring you shoes and a warm coat and better food?" The little lad thought for a moment then with tears starting in his eyes, said, "I guess He does tell somebody, but somebody forgets." -------

During the first three days of July, 1863, in the midst of America's great Civil War, the armies of the North and South clashed decisively at Gettysburg. For the first three days of the battle, the fighting was inconclusive, but then the tide began to turn against General Lee and the Confederate forces. The northern troops under General G. G. Meade were winning. Lee began to retreat southward on the night of July 4, while storm clouds drenched the East Coast with rain. When Lee reached the Potomac, he found that the river was swollen with rain. He could not cross it. Behind him was the victorious Union army. Before him was the river. He was trapped.

Here was the great, golden opportunity for General Meade to end the battle. Meade could have attacked immediately, destroying Lee's army and, in effect, ending the Civil War. President Lincoln actually ordered him to attack. However, instead of attacking, Meade delayed. He held a council, then delayed again. Eventually the water of the river receded, and Lee escaped over the Potomac. The war was extended two more years. Meade never regained his lost opportunity, and it was to General Grant that Lee eventually surrendered on April 9, 1865.
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A man visited Tiffany's jewelry store in New York City. He was shown a magnificent diamond with its gleaming yellow light and many other splendid stones. But he observed one stone that was perfectly lusterless and said, "That has no beauty about it at all." The friend who was with him put the stone in the hollow of his hand and held it there for a few minutes. When he opened it, the man said, "What a surprise! There is not a place on it the size of a pinhead that does not gleam with the splendor of the rainbow. What did you do with it?" His friend answered, "This is an opal. It is what we call the sympathetic jewel. It only needs contact with the human hand to bring out its wonderful beauty."
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一名富有的婦女夢見她到了天堂，並且看見那兒正在蓋一棟豪宅。她問導遊：「那是為誰蓋的？」「為妳的園丁。」「但是他在地球上是住在最小的小屋，幾乎沒有足夠的空間給他的家人居住。如果他沒有施捨付出那麼多給窮人，他鐵定會生活得更好。」再往前走，她看見正在蓋一間很小的小屋，她問：「那是為誰蓋的？」「為你蓋的。」「但是我在地球上是住在一間豪宅，住在小屋，我將不知道怎麼生活。」她所聽到的答覆富有很多的意義：「我們最偉大的建築師，就是神自己，盡其力用其所悅納從地上送來的建材建造他們各人未來的永生居所。」

A rich woman dreamed that she went to heaven and saw there a mansion being built. "Who is that for?" she asked of the guide. "For your gardener." "But he lives in the tiniest cottage on earth with barely room enough for his family. He might live better if he did not give so much to the miserable, poor folk." Farther on she saw a tiny cottage being built. "And who is that for?" she asked. "That is for you." "But I have lived in a mansion on earth. I would not know how to live in a cottage." The words she heard in reply were full of meaning: "The Master Builder is doing His best with the material that is being sent up."
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A converted cowboy put it very well when he said, "Lots of folks that would really like to do right think that serving the Lord only means shouting themselves hoarse praising His name. Now I'll tell you how I look at that. I am working for Jim here. Now if I would do nothing but sit around the house telling what a good fellow Jim is and singing songs to him, I would not suit Jim. But when I buckle on my straps and hustle among the hills and see that Jim's herd is all right, not suffering for water and feed, or being driven off the range and branded by cow thieves, then I am serving Jim as he wants to be served."
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女王伊麗莎白曾經差派一位大使到很遠的地方進行重要且困難的任務。大使反對並且對女王說：「那麼我日常的工作和我的家人怎麼辦？」女王回答：「你處理好我的事務，我會照料你的事情。」

Queen Elizabeth once sent an ambassador far away on important and difficult business. He objected, saying to the queen, "But what will become of my business and my family?" The queen replied, "You take care of my business and I will take care of yours."
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One of those huge graders goes to work on a highway repair job. A number of years ago a Johns Hopkins University professor asked his graduate students to locate 200 boys, ages 12-16 and research their family backgrounds. The assignment was then to predict their future.
The students were sent to the slum area of the city to find the boys.
The conclusion reached by the graduate students was that 90 percent of those researched would spend time in jail. The final chapter of this study would not completed until 25 years later.
When the 200 original students were sought after, some 25 years later, John Hopkins sent the researchers into the slum area again. Some of the group still remained in the slums, others had moved away, a few had died. In all they were able to locate 180 of the original 200.
What they found amazed them. Only four had ever been to jail (remember the prediction had been 90 percent of 200)!
What caused this figure to be so low when all indications pointed to a larger number? When the researchers began to ask this question they found that they were getting the same answer, "Well, there was this teacher...." Pressed further, the researchers found that the teacher in all cases was one and the same. The boys had all been influenced by the same teacher.
The graduate students traced down the teacher, now living in a retirement home, and inquired about her remarkable influence over a group of boys who were headed for a life of crime. She really could not think of any reason why she would have this kind of influence. She did mention that "I truly loved my students."
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Let us imitate the barber who one week noticed that there was a good increase in his business. When he tried to find out why, he discovered that his competitor, another barber in the village, was ill. When the week ended, he took all that he had made above his average earnings and carried it to his competitor with his Christian love and sympathy.
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某一農夫在他的穀倉有一個奇特的風標。他在箭頭寫了這些話：「上帝是愛。」" 一個路人將它向著大門轉動，並問農夫：「您是什麼意思？您認為上帝的愛是多變的嗎？神的愛如同箭頭隨著風而轉變方向嗎？」農夫回答：「哦，不，我的意思是不論風吹向哪一方，上帝仍然是愛。」

A certain farmer had an unusual weathervane on his barn. Inscribed on the arrow were these words: "God is love." A passerby turned in at the gate and asked the farmer, "What do you mean by that? Do you think God's love is changeable; that it veers about as that arrow turns in the winds?" "Oh, no," replied the farmer, "I mean that whichever way the wind blows, God is still love."
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有一個下午兩位小男孩玩在一起。當較大的男孩對較弱的玩伴占便宜的時後他們還沒有玩的很久。較小的喬治抱怨，撤退一段距離、坐下甚至快掉下眼淚來了。短時間候，較大的男孩逐漸開始對他獨自玩感到無聊就叫：「黑、喬治，回來。我對不起。」喬治被前經驗警告，沒有馬上回應這次的邀請。他小心地回答：「但是那種對不起？你不想再做的那一種嗎？」

Two little boys were playing together one afternoon. They had not been playing long when the larger boy took advantage of his weaker playmate. Georgie, the smaller one, too proud to complain, withdrew some distance and sat by himself, manfully winking back the ready tears. After a short time, the larger boy grew tired of his solitary play and called, "Say, Georgie, come back. I'm sorry." Georgie, warned by previous experience, did not respond to the invitation at once.

"Yes," he replied cautiously, "but what kind of sorry? The kind so you won't do it again?"
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Andre Villas-Boas: "I dedicate this win to my technical staff, the players of Porto and the supporters. But I'd like to pay a complement to Pep Guardiola, which might come as a surprise, and to Jose Mourinho,'' Villas-Boas said.

"He (Mourinho) introduced me to professional football, and I'd like to dedicate this to him. And to someone who has already left us, but was decisive in my career: Sir Bobby Robson. I never had the opportunity to say farewell to him. I'd like to dedicate this to him and his wife, Elsie, and thank him for everything he's done for me.

"Bobby allowed a 16-year-old to approach him and talk about football tactics with him. Then he took me to training, watching training sessions. He had that respect for a young boy who had just approached him in an apartment block in Porto.''
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亞歷山大大帝的部隊當向波斯進攻時。曾經在一個臨界點，他的部隊似乎要被擊敗。士兵們帶著很多他們前戰的戰利品所以他們感到沉重和失去戰鬥的效力。亞歷山大立刻命令把所有的戰利品堆在一起然後燒掉它。他們都抱怨，可是不久就看到那命令的智慧。一個人如此寫：「那好像所給他們的翅膀——他們可以再輕鬆的走了。」勝利是肯定的了。成為基督的軍兵，我們必須扔掉所有能阻礙我們與我們屬靈仇敵的爭戰。讓戰鬥有效力，我們必須穿戴上帝所賜的全副軍裝（弗六11-17）。

According to tradition, when the apostle John was bishop in Ephesus, his hobby was raising pigeons. On one occasion an Ephesian elder passed his house as he returned from hunting. When he saw John
playing with one of his birds, he gently chided the old bishop for spending his time so frivolously. John looked at his critic's bow and remarked that the string was loosened. "Yes," said the huntsman, "I also loosen the string of my bow when it's not in use. If it always stayed tight, it would lose its rebounding quality and fail me in the hunt." "And I," said John, "am now relaxing the bow of my mind so
that I may be better able to shoot the arrows of divine truth."
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兩位年輕無神論者正在討論關於復活的事，他們互相表達為何他們不相信。當時邁爾斯執事路過，其中一位開玩笑的對他說：「執事，告訴我們為何你相信耶穌復活。」他回答：「好的，一個理由就是今天早上我和他談了半個小時。」

Two young skeptics were discussing the Resurrection, trying to tell each other why they did not believe in it. Then Deacon Myers came passing by and in a joking way one of the fellows said to him: "Say, Deacon, tell us why you believe that Jesus rose again." "Well," he replied, "one reason is that I talked with Him for half an hour this morning." ("Choice Illus." W.W. Clay pg 89)
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復興 -- 如果？
如果所有沈睡的人們都醒起，
如果所有冷淡的人們都燃燒，
如果所有不誠實的人都懺悔，
如果所有不愉悅的人都歡呼，
如果所有沮喪的人們都振奮，
如果所有疏離的人們都組合，
如果所有愛閒聊的人都閉嘴，
如果所有真正的軍人都站立，
如果所有枯乾的骨頭都震動，
如果所有教會的信徒都祈禱…
然後，我們會復興！

Revival -- If?

If all the sleeping folk will wake up,
If all the lukewarm folk will fire up,
If all the dishonest folk will confess up,
If all the disgruntled folk will cheer up,
If all the depressed folk will cheer up,
If all the estranged folk will make up,
If all the gossipers will shut up,
If all true soldiers will stand up,
If all the dry bones will shake up,
If all the church members will pray up...
Then we can have a revival!
R. G. Lee
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There is an ancient Scottish legend that tells the story of a shepherd boy tending a few straggling sheep on the side of a mountain.

One day as he cared for his sheep he saw at his feet a beautiful flower -- one that was more beautiful than any he had ever seen in his life. He knelt down upon his knees and scooped the flower in his hands and held it close to his eyes, drinking in its beauty. As he held the flower close to his face, suddenly he heard a noise and looked up before him. There he saw a great stone mountain opening up right before his eyes. And as the sun began to shine on the inside of the mountain, he saw the sprinkling of the beautiful gems and precious metals that it contained.

With the flower in his hands, he walked inside. Laying the flower down, he began to gather all the gold and silver and precious gems in his arms. Finally with all that his arms could carry, he turned and began to walk out of that great cavern, and suddenly a voice said to him, "Don't forget the best."

Thinking that perhaps he had overlooked some choice piece of treasure, he turned around again and picked up additional pieces of priceless treasure. And with his arms literally overflowing with wealth, he turned to walk back out of the great mountainous vault.

And again the voice said, "Don't forget the best."

But by this time his arms were filled and he walked on outside, and all of a sudden, the precious metals and stones turned to dust. And he looked around in time to see the great stone mountain closing its doors again. A third time he heard the voice, and this time the voice said, "You forgot the best. For the beautiful flower is the key to the vault of the mountain."
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When the machine is operating on a busy road, traffic is halted and the cars lined up in opposite directions are allowed to proceed alternately. A veteran operator of one of those big machines decided one day to try to relieve the tension that inevitably results from such a traffic backup. Consequently on both the front and rear of his grader a sign now appears, declaring, "The Road to Happiness is Almost Always Under Construction."
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Someone had made the enlightening comment on John, chapter 4: "Not long ago I was riding with a man through the country.
'Elmer," I said, 'why are those fields so white?' 'Because the wheat is full grown,' he replied. 'Wheat!' I exclaimed. 'I always thought wheat was golden.' 'Yes, it is, except when it's overripe. Then it becomes very light in color.' 'Oh, now I know why the Lord told His disciples that the fields were white. the grain had to be gleaned immediately.'"
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The "War Cry" carried a story about a tenant farmer who had worked hard for many years to improve the production of the land. Then something happened that caused him to become very bitter. When it was time to renew his lease, the owner told him he was going to sell the farm to his son who was getting married. The tenant made several generous offers to buy it himself, hoping the man's decision would be reversed. But it was all in vain. As the day drew near for the farmer to vacate his home, his weeks of angry brooding finally got the best of him. He gathered seeds from some of the most pesky and noxious weeds he could find. Then he spent many hours scattering them on the clean, fertile soil of the farm, along with a lot of trash and stones he had collected. To his dismay, the very next morning the owner informed him that plans for his son's wedding had fallen through, and therefore he would be happy to renew the lease. He couldn't understand why the farmer exclaimed in agonizing tones, "Oh, Lord, what a fool I've been!"
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幾年前，在巴黎的男服裝商還有沒賣出去的49大衣。他對一位同行的人講出他的困境。他說：「我已經把大衣減價到50%，他們仍然不要買。我該怎麼做呢？」另外一個人說：「我會給你一個外省商的名單。寄給每個商人七件，可是發票只寫六件。他們會一位是失誤，就會占它便宜。」一個禮拜後那大衣老闆衝進他朋友的店大罵。他大聲喊：「你給我建議有多好。我寄給了每一個商人七件大衣，發票只寫六件，全部都被退回來按照發票所寫的六件，把多的一件保存了。」

One Sunday, a minister preached a sermon about heaven. Next morning, as he was going to town, he met one of his wealthy members. This man stopped the preacher and said, "Pastor, you preached a good sermon on heaven, but you didn't tell me where heaven is." "Ah," said the preacher, "I am glad of the opportunity this morning. I have just returned from the hilltop up there. In that cottage there is a member of our church. She is a widow with two little children. She is sick in one bed and her two children are sick in the other bed. She doesn't have anything in the house-no coal, no bread, no meat, and no milk. If you buy a few groceries and go there yourself and say, 'My sister, I have brought these provisions in the name of the Lord Jesus,' ask for a Bible, read the Twenty-third Psalm, and then go down on your knees and pray-if you don't see heaven before you get through, I'll pay the bill." The next morning the man said, "Pastor, I saw heaven and spent fifteen minutes there. There's no bill for you to pay."
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One asked, "Is heart holiness a crisis or a process?" The other replied by asking a question: "How did you get from the town where you live to this place?" "I came by train," was the answer. "And did the train bring you by one sudden jump into this town?" "Oh, no," he replied. "I kept coming along more and more." "But when you boarded the train, how did you do it? Was it `more and more'?" "No," said he, "I stepped in all at once." "Exactly," said the godly minister; "you stepped in instantly--that was a crisis; and as you journeyed you kept getting nearer and nearer to your final objective--that was a process."
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一位弟兄有一次告訴牧師相信講演所說的「原罪。」講演說：「你不必要相信它，它就已在你裏面。」

A man once told a minister that he could not swallow what the preachers called "original sin." Said the preacher: "There's no occasion for you to swallow it; it's inside you already."
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It is said that in the diamond mines of South Africa they often find a substance that is half charcoal and half diamond. It was intended to be a diamond, but somewhere nature's chemical processes were interrupted, and left it partly a cinder and partly a jewel. It stopped short and will never get into the king's crown.
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幾年前，在巴黎的男服裝商還有沒賣出去的49大衣。他對一位同行的人講出他的困境。他說：「我已經把大衣減價到50%，他們仍然不要買。我該怎麼做呢？」另外一個人說：「我會給你一個外省商的名單。寄給每個商人七件，可是發票只寫六件。他們會一位是失誤，就會占它便宜。」一個禮拜後那大衣老闆衝進他朋友的店大罵。他大聲喊：「你給我建議有多好。我寄給了每一個商人七件大衣，發票只寫六件，全部都被退回來按照發票所寫的六件，把多的一件保存了。」

While Jan was visiting her mother, they went for a walk and bumped into the pastor. "Is this your daughter?" he asked. "Oh my, I remember her when she was this high." Without pausing Jan's mother said, "Well, she's twenty-four now." Jan, 35-years-old, nearly fainted on the spot. After everyone had said their good-byes, Jan asked her mother why she'd told such a whopper. "Well," she replied, "I've been lying about my age for so long, it suddenly dawned on me that I'd have to start lying about yours too."
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成功是得到你想要的，幸福是什麼你想要得到的。戴爾卡耐基
Success is getting what you want; Happiness is wanting what you get. Dale Carnegie
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"I knew an artist who painted a cobweb so realistically that the maid spent several hours trying to get it down from the ceiling." "I just don't believe it." "Why not? Artists have been known to do such things." "Yes, but not maids!"
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老師：如果你有七顆蘋果，我向你要了二顆。那麼你還剩下幾顆呢？強尼：七顆。

Teacher: "If you had seven apples and I asked you for two, how many would you have left?"
Johnny: "Seven"
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幾年前，在巴黎的男服裝商還有沒賣出去的49大衣。他對一位同行的人講出他的困境。他說：「我已經把大衣減價到50%，他們仍然不要買。我該怎麼做呢？」另外一個人說：「我會給你一個外省商的名單。寄給每個商人七件，可是發票只寫六件。他們會一位是失誤，就會占它便宜。」一個禮拜後那大衣老闆衝進他朋友的店大罵。他大聲喊：「你給我建議有多好。我寄給了每一個商人七件大衣，發票只寫六件，全部都被退回來按照發票所寫的六件，把多的一件保存了。」

Some years ago a clothier in Paris had 49 coats he could not sell. He explained his predicament to a business acquaintance. "I have marked the overcoats down fifty per cent," he said, "and still they will not buy. What shall I do?" "I will give you a list of provincial merchants," said the other. "Send seven overcoats to each, but send them an invoice for six only. They will think it is a mistake and will take advantage of it." A week later the overcoat man rushed into his friend's store in a great rage. "Fine advice you gave me," he shouted. "Each one to whom I sent the seven coats, and invoiced only six, returned the six mentioned in the invoice and kept the extra one."
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督工：“嘿，你！為什麼你只傳送一個麻袋而所有的人都在傳送二個。”
工人：“我不知道，老闆，我猜想其他人都懶得像我再傳送兩次吧。”
Foreman: "Hey, you! How come you're only carrying one sack and all the others are carrying two."
Worker: "I don't know, boss, I guess the other guys are too lazy make two trips like I do."
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丈夫：「我要開除我們的司機。最近他差點殺了我四次。」
妻子：「親愛的，在給他其他機會吧。」

Husband: "I am going to discharge our chauffeur. Four times recently he almost killed me. "
Wife: "Darling, give him another chance."
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Husband: "If a man steals, no matter what, he will live to regret it."
Wife: "You used to steal kisses."
Husband: "Well, you heard what I said."
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When a preacher prayed to the Lord to keep him humble and poor, one of the deacons whispered, "Lord, if You'll keep him humble, we'll do the rest." Atlas News
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「為何工頭把你開除了？」
「工頭是一位四周看著其他人工作。」
「是啊，可是為何他開除你？」
「他嫉妒我。很多同事想我是工頭！」

"Why did the foreman fire you?"
"Well, the foreman is the man who stands around and watches others work." "Yes, but why did he fire you?" "He got jealous of me. A lot of the fellows thought I was the foreman!"
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When Sam returned to the house one evening, his wife Sarah announced that the new cleaning woman they had hired had stolen two towels.

"Yeah," said Sam very disinterested, and reclining on the sofa, "that wasn't very nice of her to do."

"You're right it wasn't," Sarah said.

"And they were the two best towels we had....you know the ones we got from the Hilton Hotel while we were on vacation!"
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Well-known Broadway producer Jed Harris once became convinced he was losing his hearing. He visited a specialist, who pulled out a gold watch and asked, "Can you hear this ticking?" "Of course," Harris replied.

The specialist walked to the door and asked the question again.

Harris concentrated and said, "Yes, I can hear it clearly." Then the doctor walked into the next room and repeated the question a third time. A third time Harris said he could hear the ticking.

"Mr. Harris," the doctor concluded, "there is nothing wrong with your hearing. You just don't listen." Brown Book of Anecdotes
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魏格爾特博士說起童年的記憶：「我記得靠近我家的池結冰的各種不同階段。當水剛開始結冰，它形成一片薄薄的冰時，你可以用亂石丟過它。當它結了更厚的冰，你能用小石頭丟過它。很快它變厚就可以讓松鼠在上面跨過它。在久一點，它就幾乎成為橡皮裝的；一個人可以在上面跳。最後，它變成很厚和硬你可以開拖拉機跨度它!」

Dr. Morris Weigelt tells of a childhood memory: "I can recall the various stages a pond near my house went through as it began to freeze. As the water just began to freeze, it formed a thin sheet of ice that you could throw a small pebble through. After it had frozen a little more, you could throw a small rock through it. Soon it would be thick enough for a squirrel to run across it. A little longer, and it was almost rubberlike; a person could jump on it as the ice gave just a little. Finally, it became so thick and hard that you could drive a tractor across it!" Mike Ward
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Once, when Mr. Moody was in New York, he was helped tremendously by R.
K. Remington. As he was leaving on the train, Mr. Moody grasped his friend by the hand and said, "If you ever come to Chicago, call on me and I will try to return your kindness." Mr. Remington replied, "Don't wait for me; do it to the first man that comes along."
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There once was a stingy baker. He was angry at a poor man who would stand outside the bakery every day, savoring the scent of baking bread. The baker felt that anyone who smelled his delicious products should have to pay for the privilege. So he took the poor man to court.

The judge listened patiently to the baker's complaint, then asked the poor man, "Do you have any money?" All the man could produce were two small coins. The judge took them. The baker smiled and eagerly held out his hand.

But the judge only jingled the coins together before returning them to their owner. "Punishment should fit the crime," he said. "The price for the smell of bread shall be the sound of money." Sharon Creeden, Florida Magazine, the Sunday supplement of Orlando Sentinel, Nov. 24, 1996.
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如果你想哀傷——往內看。
如果你想失敗——往後看。
如果你想錯亂——往周圍看
如果你想喪氣——向前看
如果你想交托——往上看

If you want to be distressed -- look within. If you want to be defeated -- look back. If you want to be distracted -- look around. If you want to be dismayed -- look ahead. If you want to be delivered -- look up!
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In Catherine Marshall's book about her husband Peter, she cites a touching story of a young terminally ill son asking his mother what death was like, if it hurt. "Kenneth," she said, "you remember when you were a tiny boy how you used to play so hard all day that when night came you would be too tired even to undress, and you would tumble into mother's bed and fall asleep? "That was not your bed. It was not where you belonged.

"And you would only stay there a little while. In the morning, much to your surprise, you would wake up and find yourself in your own bed in your own room. "You were there because someone had loved you and taken care of you. Your father had come with big strong arms and carried you away.

"Kenneth, death is just like that. We just wake up some morning to find ourselves in the other room, our own room where we belong, because the Lord Jesus loved us."

The lad's shining, trusting face looking up into hers told her that the point had gone home and that there would be no more fear,only love and trust in his little heart as he went to meet the Father in Heaven. He never questioned again, and several weeks later he fell asleep just as she had said.
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A little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, what is a lie?" His mother answered by saying, "Son, a lie is an abomination unto the Lord ... but a very present help in time of need!"
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The following item was printed in "The Search Light:" Joe the butcher was closing the store one Saturday night when his best customer Mrs. Brown came in and asked for a nice roasting chicken. Joe put the last one he had on the scales. "It's 2 pounds 4 ounces -- that will be $1.35." "That's too small," she answered, "do you have a larger one?" He went to the cooler and then returned with the same chicken. Weighing it, he said, "Just 3 pounds. That will be $1.80." Still not satisfied, his customer said, "I think I'll take them both!" Joe was speechless. He had been caught, in a lie.
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On a sailing vessel the mate of the ship, yielding to a temptation, became drunk. He had never before been in such a state.

The captain entered in the log of the ship the record for the day: "Mate drunk today."

When the mate read this entry he implored the captain to take it out of the record, saying that when it was read by the owners of the ship it would cost him his post, and the captain well knew that this was his first offense. But the obdurate captain refused to change the record and said to the mate, "This is the fact, and into the log it goes!"

Some days afterward, the mate was keeping the log and after he had given the latitude and longitude, the run for the day, the wind and the sea, he made this entry: "Captain sober today."

The indignant captain protested when he read the record, declaring that it would leave an altogether false impression in the minds of the owners of the vessel, as if it were an unusual thing for him to be sober. But the mate answered as the captain answered him, "This is the fact, and into the log it goes!"

This is a good example of how, by an accuracy of statement, but by misrepresentation of circumstances, one can injure the reputation of another. McCartney
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Have you read the newest issue of Grit about the school teacher who asked little Rodney "did you write this poem?" And he said "yes, ma'am." And the teacher said, "Did you write this poem all by yourself?" And he said, "yes, ma'am!" And the teacher said, "All of it, by yourself?" and Rodney said, "yes ma'am." And the teacher said, "Then I am thrilled to meet you, Mr. Robert Lewis Stevenson, because I thought you had died years ago."
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A sign in a convenience store read, "Check Cashing Policy: To err is human. To forgive, $10."
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有一位林肯總統的同事嚴厲的斥責他因為對他仇敵太柔弱了。
他責備說：「為何你堅持設法讓他們成為你的朋友？你應該設法毀滅他們。」
林肯溫柔的回答：「是否我沒有毀滅我的仇敵如果我讓他們成為我的朋友？」

One of President Abraham Lincoln's associates scolded him rather severely for being soft on his enemies. "Why do you insist on trying to make friends of them?" he chided. "You should be trying to destroy them."
To which Lincoln replied gently, "Am I not destroying my enemies when I make them my friends?"
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A girl was asked what forgiveness is. She gave the following beautiful answer: "It is the odor the flowers give off when they are trampled upon."
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一份英國出版社提供了一個獎金給能為「朋友」寫出最佳定義的人。在收到的數以千萬參賽作品中有的定義如下： "朋友是能倍增喜悅，分享悲傷的人" ; "瞭解我們的沈默的人" ; "在困境中很同情你的人" ; 還有"像一隻手錶時刻運轉而不會筋疲力盡的人。" 但是贏得獎金的人說： "朋友是當全世界都離你而去的時候，他卻來靠近你的人。"

An English publication offered a prize for the best definition of a friend. Among the thousands of entries received were the following: "One who multiplies joys, divides grief"; "One who understands our silence"; "A volume of sympathy bound in cloth"; and "A watch which beats true for all time and never runs down." But the entry which won the prize said, "A friend--the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out."
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A child of God who was seriously ill and lacked assurance of salvation said to his physician, "Doctor, although I'm a Christian, I'm afraid to die. Exactly what happens to us in the hour of death?" The surgeon, who was also a believer, thought for a moment and then replied, "I'm afraid I can't give you an exact answer to that question!" As he walked across the room to leave, he desperately wished he could say something comforting. Pausing briefly before opening the door, he heard the sound of scratching and whining on the other side. Suddenly he realized that he had left his car window open and his little dog had jumped out.

With the patient's permission he let in his pet poodle who leaped on him with an eager show of gladness. In a flash the doctor's mind was awakened to a scriptural truth he had never before put into words. Turning to the sick man, he said, "Did you see how my dog acted? He's never been in this room before. He had no idea what was inside; yet when I opened the door, he sprang in without fear, for he knew his master was here! As Christians we have not been told about the glories that await us on the other side of death. But one thing we do know; our Master is there, and that is enough!
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A little girl had been told many times by a childless old couple that if she would come and live with them, they would get her everything she wanted-a pony and cart, a piano, and the like. One day when the couple had been particularly urgent, her father said, "Don't you think you had better go with them?" The little girl looked at him in alarm and cried, "Why, Daddy, don't you want me?" "Yes," he replied, "but I can't give you very much, and they will give you everything nice." "But I wouldn't have you!" she said as she snuggled up to him.
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There was a king whose officers, in the midst of battle, decided to go and take food that was desperately needed from some homes in the area.
When they came back with it, the king asked, "Did you pay them for what you took?" They said, "No, the king doesn't have to pay." He said, "Go back and pay them for everything that you took." A king who arbitrarily takes things from people is hated, but a ruler who pays for everything he needs and that people are willing to give up, is the one who is loved. Anyone who uses his power to take away, is abusing his power.
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有一位三個孩子的父親想教他們自由酌情處理。他給每一個孩子一個有部份已爛的蘋果。
第一個孩子把整棵蘋果都吃掉。
第二個孩子把整棵蘋果丟掉因為有部份已經爛掉了。
第三個孩子把爛掉的部份切掉然後吃掉好的部份。

A father who had three sons wanted to teach them a lesson in discretion. He gave each of them an apple that had some part of it rotten.
The first ate his apple, rotten and all. The second threw all of his away because some of it was rotten. The third picked out the rotten part and ate the good part.
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Two children were afraid they would be late for school. One said, "Let's kneel down and pray to God that He may help us not to be late." The other child offered a more practical solution: "No, let's run and pray at the same time."
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No horse gets anyone anywhere until he's harnessed, no steam or gas drives anything until it is confined, no Niagara ever turns anything into light or power until it is tunneled, no life ever does great things it is until focused, dedicated, and disciplined.
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A worldly kind of person came to the preacher, defending her practice of attending worldly entertainments. She said, "But, pastor, I can take Jesus Christ with me wherever I go." The pastor after a few moments of thought quietly replied, "Indeed, is that so? I didn't know that was the order of the Bible. Is it for you to lead Jesus to where you want to go or for Him to lead you where He wants you to be?"
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The sign on the wall could be applied to the differences between a "footlight" disciple and a "footsteps" disciple:
If you want to get UP, step DOWN.
If you want to be SEEN, get out of SIGHT.
If you want to be GREAT, forget YOURSELF. Devotions March 9, 1996
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Out in Kansas is a large and picturesque home. A local citizen named Stone had started to build a mansion for himself. Halfway through, he ran out of money. The downstairs was magnificent: carved staircases, massive fireplaces, expensive paneling. But the upstairs was finished in the cheapest pine. Around the area the building had a nickname: "Stone's Folly."
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A man gave out tracts for years on a certain corner. Because there were no results he gave it up. Five months later he saw a man giving out tracts on the same corner. Striking up a conversation he learned that the man had been led to Christ through a tract given out there six months before.

"Many a time I've come back to thank the man, but I never could find him. I concluded he must have died and gone to his reward, so I decided to take his place on the corner."
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There was a certain nobleman who kept a fool, to whom he one day gave a staff, with a charge to keep it till he should meet with one who was a greater fool than himself. Not many years after, the nobleman fell sick, even unto death. The fool came to see him. His sick lord said to him, "I must shortly leave you." "And whither are you going?" asked the fool. "Into another world," replied his lordship. "And when will you return? Within a month?" "No." "Within a year?" "No." "When, then?" "Never!" "Never?" asked the fool. "And what provision hast thou made for thine entertainment there, whither thou goest?" "None at all." "No!" exclaimed the fool, "none at all? Here then, take my staff; for, with all my folly, I am not guilty of any folly such as this." BISHOP HALL.
William Moses Tidwell, "Pointed Illustrations."
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Several years ago on an extremely hot day, a crew of men were working on the road bed of the railroad when they were interrupted by a slow moving train. The train ground to a stop and a window in the last car was raised. A booming, friendly voice called out, "Dave, is that you?" Dave Anderson, the crew chief called back, "Sure is, Jim, and it's really good to see you." With that pleasant exchange, Dave Anderson was invited to join Jim Murphy, the president of the railroad, for a visit. For over an hour the men exchanged pleasantries and then shook hands warmly as the train pulled out.

Dave Anderson's crew immediately surrounded him and to a man expressed astonishment that he knew Jim Murphy, the president of the railroad as a personal friend. Dave then explained that over 20 years earlier he and Jim Murphy had started to work for the railroad on the same day. One of the men, half jokingly and half seriously asked Dave why he was still working out in the hot sun and Jim Murphy had gotten to be president. Rather wistfully Dave explained, "Twenty-three years ago I went to work for $1.75 an hour and Jim Murphy went to work for the railroad."
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Dr. H. W. McLaughlin, of Richmond, Va., tells a lovely story of an experience while in Palestine. In talking to an old shepherd he inquired in what sense it could be said that his staff was for the comfort of the sheep. The old shepherd proceeded to explain that in daylight he always carried the staff across his shoulder, and when the sheep saw it, it spoke of the presence of the shepherd, and thus was a means of comfort. On the other hand, if night overtook him with the sheep on the mountainside, or if they were caught in a heavy mountain mist so that the sheep could no longer see the staff, then he would lower it, and as he walked he would tap with it on the ground, so that by hearing if not by sight the staff comforted the sheep by speaking of the presence of the shepherd. David remembered these things and said in effect to himself, "It would' be unreasonable to suppose that God has less care of me than I had of the sheep!" "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." F. Crossley Morgan
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A little boy was seen one day lounging around a circus tent. If there is anything in the world tempting to a boy, it is a circus, and knowing this a gentleman said: "Come, Johnny, let us go into time circus." "No," said the boy, "father would not like it." "But your father need not know it," said the man. "But I will know it," said the boy, "and when father comes home tonight I could not look up into his face."
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A woman and her husband interupted their vacation to go to a dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want Novocain because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."
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I heard a story about a man who invited his neighbor to attend church with him. On the way home, the neighbor said, "I noticed you have a new preacher." "Yes," said his friend, "We fired the old one. He was always telling us unless we repented, we were going to hell." "But," the neighbor replied, "your new preacher said the very same thing this morning." "True," was the reply, "but our old preacher acted like he was happy about the situation. When our new preacher says this, it seems to break his heart."
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When I first became a member of the church, my circle was very big...
for it included all who, like myself, had believed. I was happy in the thought that my brethren were many. But, having a keen and observant mind, I soon learned that many of my brethren were erring. I could not tolerate any people within my circle but those who, like myself, were right on all points of doctrine and practice. Too, some made mistakes and sinned. What could I do? I had to do something! I drew my circle again... leaving the publicans and sinners outside, excluding the Pharisees in all their pride, with myself and the righteous and humble within. I heard ugly rumors about some brethren. I saw then that some of them were worldly-minded; their thoughts were constantly on things of a worldly nature. So duty bound, to save my reputation, I drew my circle again...leaving those reputable spiritually-minded within. I realized in time that only my family and myself remained in the circle. I had a good family, but to my surprise, my family finally disagreed with me. I was always right. A man must be steadfast. I have never been a factious man! So in strong determination, I drew my circle again...leaving me quite alone.
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慕迪有一次正在講道的時後，有一個人通過招待員把紙條遞給他。紙條上只有一個字：「傻瓜」。慕迪看了就說：「我常受到沒有簽名的字條。這是我第一次受到一位忘記寫下內容，而只寫簽下名字的字條。」

Dwight Moody was preaching when someone passed a note to him through the usher. It had only one word: "Fool." Moody looked at it and said, "I've often received notes that weren't signed. This is the first time I've received a note that someone forgot to write, but signed."
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A Texas paper comments on the criticisms concerning a preacher: "The preacher has a great time. If his hair is grey he is too old; if he is a young man he hasn't had enough experience. If he has ten children he has too many; if he has none he is not setting a good example. If his wife sings in the choir she is presuming; if she doesn't she isn't interested in her husband's work. If a preacher reads from notes he is a bore; if he speaks extemporaneously he isn't deep enough. If he stays at home in his study, he does not mix enough with his people; if he is seen around on the streets, he ought to be home getting out a good sermon. If he calls at the homes of the wealthy, he is an aristocrat; if he calls on the poor family, then he is playing to the grandstand. Whatever he does, someone could have told him to do better."
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A rather humorous story, which may be true, goes something like this: During the depths of the depression, president Hoover visited Charleston, West Virginia, where he was not popular. At a ceremony, they gave him a twenty-one gun salute which boomed from cannons close by. Then, following the firing of the last cannon, a heckler remarked: "They missed him!" Duane V. Maxey
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In St. Petersburg, I saw in the square in front of St. Isaac's Cathedral, the magnificent equestrian statue of Peter the Great with his hand lifted pointing his nation onward and eastward toward the sea. Peter was the maker of modern Russia. In many respects, he well deserved the name "great," but he was subject to maniacal outbursts of fury and anger. In one of such outbursts, he killed his own son.
Toward the end of his reign, Peter the Great once remarked, "I have conquered an empire but I was not able to conquer myself."
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A number of years ago, I read a story, which may contain more humorous fiction than fact. It told of two worldly friends who went to Coney Island, and the last "attraction" they visited was a shooting gallery where they had celluloid balls propelled by jets of water. The balls rose and fell and when they fell, they fell out of sight. The idea was to hit them as you saw them. The first of the two friends shot all the cartridges in his rifle, but didn't hit one of the balls. Then, the second man picked up a gun took careful aim, shot once, and all of the balls fell.
His incredulous friend said, "Bill, that's the most wonderful shooting I ever saw in my life! How on earth did you do it?" Bill replied, "I shot the fellow working the pump!" (adapted from "Knew What To Do") Duane V. Maxey
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A minister, having preached on the doctrine of original sin, was afterwards waited on by some persons who stated their objections to what he had advanced. After hearing them, he said, "I hope you do not deny actual sin, too?" "No," they replied. The good man expressed his satisfaction at their acknowledgment but, to show the absurdity of their opinions in denying a doctrine so plainly taught in Scripture, he asked them, "Did you ever see a tree growing without a root?" J. Caird
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Wounded For Me

During World War I the Prince of Wales visited 36 severely wounded men in a hospital in the outskirts of London.

The Prince and his escorts went through the main ward and shook hands with most of them. As preparations were made to leave, the Prince indicated that he had only seen 30 men. "Where are the other six?" Although he was informed that the six others were extremely severe cases and in a different section of the ward, the special visitor demanded to see the others.

Five other maimed and bruised men were viewed. "But where's the last one?" again the Prince inquired. Although the Prince was told that the grotesqueness of the man's appearance would be unbearable, the Prince insisted on seeing him.

The Prince stood silent for a moment, and then moved toward the man and stooping down, kissed him! With a breaking voice the Prince of Wales was heard to say, "Wounded for me."
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A Brahmin once said to a Christian missionary in India, "There are many things which Christianity and Hinduism have in common. But one thing Christianity has that is not found in Hinduism." "What is that?" asked the missionary. The Brahmin's answer was, "We do not have a Savior."
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It was a dark and stormy night when a lady was on a boat crossing Lake Michigan. The lightning, thunder, and rain made her very nervous. She saw jagged rocks jutting above the surface of the lake. In fear, she asked the captain, "Do you know where all the rocks are out there in the lake?" "No," the captain replied, "I don't, but I do know where it's safe."
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In England a century and a half ago lived a man whose business was cobbling shoes. He was an earnest Christian and, though he was poor, Christ filled his life with joy. The cobbler had a beautiful, strong voice which from morning till night was raised in cheerful song. His little shop was the last one of a row in the little village, and just beyond there was a mansion surrounded by spacious lawns where lived the richest man of the community. One morning the rich master stepped into the cobbler's shop and complained about the singing. He told the cobbler that if he would cease his singing he would give him twenty pounds. This was more than the cobbler could earn at his trade in several months, and so he closed with the man, and ceased his singing.

At times during the day he would forget and start singing when the overflow of joy in his heart would be strong. But then he remembered the bag where those gold pieces rested. Strangely enough, when he went home there was gloom in his heart, and he did not feel like singing. In the morning he woke with a sense of oppression--he could not sing that day. Through the day the gloom mounted till late in the afternoon he could stand it no longer. He locked up his shop, went to the rich man's home, and handed to him the sack of gold pieces.

"Here," said the cobbler, "take this money. I dare not lose the benefit I get from singing about my Savior. When I sing, my joy seems to grow." He had hardly got back to his little shop till his song of joy and praise arose again. When we quit rejoicing our joy becomes weaker, till at last the clogged channel chokes its flow completely.
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Robert LeTourneau, successful businessman and consecrated Christian, tells of an early experience when he had little capital to set up manufacturing for himself. He sold some patents on machinery to a man. Then this man asked him what wages he would ask to enter his service as an employee. LeTourneau was not too eager to do this, so named a price that was high. The man accepted him at once. Then he said, "You have some machinery in that little shop of yours, haven't you?" And when LeTourneau assented, his new employer told him, "Make a list of every piece of machinery you have, together with the amount you would be willing to take for it." LeTourneau did so and, when he presented it to the business executive in his office, he was handed a check for the entire amount, as the businessman said, "All your equipment is mine now." Mr. LeTourneau adds: "I said to myself, This man is a keen business executive. Why did he buy me out? I did not have to study very long before the answer became clean to me. I had been engaged to give my undivided attention to his affairs, and he did not want me to return to my old interests. The experience taught me a great lesson: God demands that we sell out to Him. We must have no side issues."
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It is said that there is a tribe in Africa where the people are utterly ignorant of mathematics. A man visiting the tribe asked one of them how many sheep he had. He repied, "I don't know." "Then," said the visitor, "how do you know if one or two are missing?" The reply was striking and beautiful. "Not because the number would be less, but because of the face I would miss." ("Choice Illus." W.W.
Clay pg 83)
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A saintly woman who had suffered for many months due to a serious illness said to her pastor, "I have such a lovely robin that sings outside my window. In the early morning as I lie here he serenades me." Then she added with a smile, "I like him, because he sings just the same when it rains. When the storm has silenced almost every other songbird, the robin sings on."
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If you want your father to take care of you, that's Paternalism. If you want your mother to take care of you, that's Maternalism. If you want Uncle Sam to take care of you, that's Socialism. If you want some dedicated Communists to take over the government and take care of you, that's Communism (we would say slavery). If you want and are able to take care of yourself, that's Americanism. If you surrender all to Christ, and want God to take care of you, that is true Christianity. Of course, you'll be called a "square" or an "extremist," or a "crackpot," but you will have the best for time and eternity.
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A Buddhist monk in Ceylon, who was acquainted with both Christianity and Buddhism, was once asked what he thought was the great difference between the two. He replied, "There is much that is good in each of them, and probably in all religions. But what seems to me to be the greatest difference is that you Christians know what is right and have power to do it, while we Buddhists know what is right but have not any such power."
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I Am Your Church

I am your church. Make of me what you will, I shall reflect you as clearly as a mirror. If outwardly my appearance is pleasing and inviting, it is because you made me so. If within my spiritual atmosphere is kindly, yet earnest; reverent, yet friendly; worshipful, yet sincere; sympathetic, yet strong; divine, yet humanly expressed; it is but the manifestation of the spirit of those who constitute my membership.

But if you should, by chance, find me a bit cold and dull, I beg of you not to condemn me, for I show forth the only kind of life I shall receive from you. I have no life or spirit apart from you.

Of this may you always be assured: I will respond instantly to your every wish practically expressed, for I am the reflected image of your own soul. Make of me what you will.
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Don't be like that bishop of whom I heard. It seems a Baptist family had a death in the family while their minister was out of town. They asked a minister of another denomination to conduct the funeral service. He said he would have to check with the bishop, so he wired him, "Can I bury a Baptist?" The bishop wired back, "Sure, bury all the Baptists you can!"
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An old deacon was once asked about the state of his church. He replied, "We are in sad straits; the church is slipping back, getting worse all the time; but, thank the Lord, none of the other churches in our neighborhood is doing any better."
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The question is asked, "Is there anything more beautiful in life than a boy and girl clasping clean hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage?" And the answer is given, "Yes-there is a more beautiful thing; it is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled but still clasped; their faces are seamed but still radiant; their hearts are tired and bowed down but still strong. They have proved the happiness of marriage and have vindicated it from the jeers of cynics."
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When Queen Victoria of England reigned as Empress of India, the Maharajah of Punjab was a little boy. To show his allegiance, he sent her a magnificent diamond. It became one of the crown jewels and was safely kept in the Tower of London. When he became a man, he went to London to pay his respects to the Queen. The young man asked the Queen if he could see the diamond. The precious jewel was brought in and presented before the Indian prince. Then, taking the diamond and kneeling before the Queen, he said with deep emotion, "Madam, I gave you this jewel when I was too young to know what I was doing. I want to give it again, in the fullness of my strength, with all my heart, and affection, and gratitude, now and forever, fully realizing all that I do."
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Late one December, an elementary school principal said to his teachers: "Let's all write our New Year's Resolutions about how we can be better teachers, and I'll put them on the staff bulletin board. In that way, we can be mutually supportive in our efforts to keep those resolutions." The teachers agreed, and when the resolutions were posted, they all crowded around the bulletin board to read them. One of the young teachers in the group suddenly went into a fit of anger.
She said, "He didn't put up my resolution. It was one of the first ones in. He doesn't care about me. That just shows what it's like around here." On and on she ranted and raved. The principal, who overheard this from his office was mortified. He hadn't meant to exclude her resolution. Quickly rummaging through the papers on his desk, he found it and immediately went to the bulletin board and tacked it up. The resolution read: "I resolve not to let little things upset me anymore." Resolution, but no commitment!
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There are great abilities that people acquire, cultivate and demonstrate. In the service of God there is one ability that is the greatest ability of all. What is it? Is it sociability, compatibility, accountability, adaptability, or reliability?
The greatest ability is availability. If we are not available to God, no matter what other kind of ability we have, it is no good. Ability without availability is a liability.
What does availability mean? It means to place one's self totally, absolutely, completely at God's disposal for Him to do anything and everything He wants to do in us, through us, with us, for us, when He chooses. Anything less than that is putting restrictions on God and writing fine print in your commitment contract to Jesus Christ.
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During one of Mr. McKinley's congressional campaigns he was followed from place to place by a reporter for a paper of the opposite political party. The reporter was one of those shrewd, persistent fellows who are always at work, quick to see an opportunity, and skilled in making the most of it. While Mr. McKinley was annoyed by the misrepresentation to which he was almost daily subjected, he could not help admiring the skill and tenacity with which he was assailed.
His admiration, too, was not unmixed with compassion-the reporter was ill, poorly clad, and had an annoying cough. One night Mr. McKinley took a closed carriage to a nearby town at which it had been announced he would speak. The weather was wretchedly raw and cold. He had not gone far when he heard that cough and knew that the reporter was riding with the driver in the exposed seat. McKinley called to the driver to stop so he could get out. "Get down off that seat, young man," he said. The reporter obeyed, thinking the time for the major's vengeance had come. "Here," said Mr. McKinley, taking off his overcoat, "You put on this overcoat and get into the carriage." "But Major McKinley," said the reporter, "I guess you don't know who I am. I have been with you the whole campaign, giving it to you every time you spoke, and I am going over tonight to rip you to pieces if I can." "I know," said Mr. McKinley, "but you put on this coat, and get inside and get warm, so that you can do a good job."
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Queen Victoria was a close friend of Principal and Mrs. Tullock, of St. Andrews. Prince Albert died and Victoria was left alone. Just at the same time, Principal Tullock died and Mrs. Tullock was left alone.
Quite unexpectedly, Queen Victoria came to call on Mrs. Tullock when she was resting on a couch in her room. The Queen stepped forward. "My dear," she said, "don't rise. I am not coming to you today as a queen to a subject, but as one woman to another who has lost her husband."
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Honker or Helper
The story was once told of a woman driver whose car stalled in traffic and she was unable to get it restarted. The fellow who was behind her, and thus unable to move, thought it necessary to constantly show his impatience by honking his horn every few seconds. Finally, the woman walked back to his car and said, "If you will go try to start my car, I'll stay here and honk your horn for you."
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A certain father was a chronic growler. He was sitting with his family in the presence of a guest in the parlor one day when the question of food came up. One of the children, a little girl, was telling the guest very cleverly what food each member of the family liked best.
Finally it came to the father's turn to be described. "And what do I like, Nancy?" he asked laughingly. "You," said the little girl slowly, "well, you like most anything we haven't got."
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This reminds me of a Russian named Ivanovich who visited the Moscow Zoo for the first time. To his amazement he found a little lamb sharing the cage that held a big fierce bear. Ivanovich expressed surprise to his communist guide.
The guide smiled and said, "That is peaceful coexistence." When Ivanovich doubtfully shook his head, the guide reluctantly went on to explain "Of course, we have to put in a fresh lamb every morning."
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When I left Chelsea, the first month was fantastic. I went to Africa, to Japan, I did tons of things I had not been able to do,'' he added. "The second month was also good, but from the third onwards it was horrible, just awful. Jose Mourinho
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An Internet poll conducted for The Associated Press and MTV by Knowledge Networks in September 2009 indicated that 24 percent of 14- to 17-year-olds had been involved in “some type of naked sexting,” either by cellphone or on the Internet. A December 2009 telephone poll from the Pew Research Center’s Internet and American Life Project found that 5 percent of 14- to 17-year-olds had sent naked or nearly naked photos or video by cellphone, and that 18 percent had received them. Boys and girls send photos in roughly the same proportion, the Pew survey found. New York Times
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Michael Faraday, the great scientist, was taken ill. When it became evident that the sickness that had fastened itself upon him would soon result in his death, a group of fellow scientists came to see him--not so much to talk about science as to talk about death. One of them said to him: "Mr. Faraday, what are your speculations about your future?" With evident surprise to them he replied: "Speculations! I have none. I am resting on certainities." Then he quoted II Tim. 1:12: "For I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day." ("Choice Illus." W.W. Clay pg. 63)
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Spurgeon speaks of an evening when he was riding home after a heavy day's work. He felt weary and depressed, when as suddenly as a lightning flash came this verse, "My grace is sufficient for thee." He said, "I should think it is, Lord," and he burst out laughing. It seemed to make unbelief so absurd.
"It was as if some little fish, being very thirsty, was troubled about drinking the river dry, and the river says, 'Drink away, little fish, my stream is sufficient for thee.'
"Or, it seemed like a little mouse in the granaries of Egypt after seven years of plenty fearing it might die of famine, and Joseph might say, 'Cheer up, little mouse, my granaries are sufficient for thee.' "Again, I imagined a man away up on yonder mountain saying to himself, 'I fear I shall exhaust all the oxygen in the atmosphere.'But the earth might say, 'Breathe away, oh man, and fill thy lungs ever; my atmosphere is sufficient for thee.'"
Little faith will bring our souls to heaven, but great faith will bring heaven to us.
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Dr. J. M. Buckley, a Methodist preacher, was once asked to conduct what they used to call in those days an "experience meeting" at a church in the South. That was a meeting similar to a testimony meeting such as we sometimes have today. A woman arose and bore witness to the preciousness of her religion as light bringer and comfort giver.
"That's good, sister!" commented Dr. Buckley. "But now about the practical side, the positive side. Does your religion make you strive to prepare your husband a good dinner? Does it make you look after him in every way?" Just then Dr. Buckley felt a yank at this coat tails by the host preacher, who whispered ardently, "Press those questions, doctor; press those questions. That's my wife!"
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When Lawrence of Arabia was in Paris after World War I with some of his Arab friends, he showed them the sights of the city: the Arch of Triumph, the Louvre, Napoleon's tomb, the Champs Elysees, but none of these things impressed them. The thing that really interested them the most was the faucet in the bathtub of the hotel room. They spent much time in turning it on and off. They found it amazing that one could turn a handle and get all the water he wanted.
Later, when they were ready to leave Paris and return to the East, Lawrence found them in the bathroom with wrenches trying to disconnect the faucet. "You see," they said, "it is very dry in Arabia. What we need are faucets. If we have them, we will have all the water we want." Lawrence had to explain that the effectiveness of the faucets did not lie in themselves but in the immense reservoirs of water to which they were attached, and he had to point out that behind this lay the rain and snowfalls of the Alps.
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A blind man was discovered sitting at the corner of a city street with a lantern beside him. When he was asked why the lantern was there since light and darkness were the same to him, he replied, "I have it so that no one may stumble over me."
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A ship in harbor is safe -- but that is not what ships are built for. John A. Shedd
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Many years ago in St. Louis, a lawyer visited a Christian to transact some business. Before the two parted, his client said to him, "I've often wanted to ask you a question, but I've been afraid to do so." "What do you want to know?" asked the lawyer. The man replied, "I've wondered why you're not a Christian." The man hung his head, "I know enough about the Bible to realize that it says no drunkard can enter the kingdom of God; and you know my weakness!" "You're avoiding my question," continued the believer. "Well, truthfully, I can't recall anyone ever explaining to me how to become a Christian."

Picking up a Bible, the client read some passages showing that all are under condemnation, but that Christ came to save the lost by dying on the cross for their sins. "By receiving Him as your Substitute and Redeemer," he said, "you can be forgiven. If you're willing to receive Jesus, let's pray together." The lawyer agreed, and when it was his turn he exclaimed, "O Jesus, I am a slave to drink. One of your servants has shown me how to be saved. O God, forgive my sins and help me overcome the power of this terrible habit in my life." Right there he was converted. That lawyer was C.I. Scofield, who later edited the reference Bible that bears his name. P. Meier, Christian Child Rearing, Baker, 1977, p. 49ff.
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在巴克萊的每日靈修本，出現這小故事：
我男孩自豪地介紹：「有一位小印第安女孩在學校。」
我問：「她講英語嗎？」
他很快的回答：「不會，可是這不成問題因為他用英語笑。」

In William Barclay's daily devotional Daily Celebration, appears this little story:

"There was a little Indian girl at school today," announced my son proudly.

"Does she speak English?" I asked.

"No," came the quick reply, "but it doesn't matter because she laughs in English!"
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The Wonder Of The Bible

The wonder of its formation-the way in which it grew-one of the mysteries of time.
The wonder of its unification-a library of 66 books, yet one Book.
The wonder of its age-the most ancient of all books.
The wonder of its sales-the best-seller of all time, far ahead of any other book.
The wonder of its interest-the only book in the world read by all classes of people.
The wonder of its language-written largely by uneducated men, yet the best book from a literary standpoint.
The wonder of its preservation-the most hated of all books, yet it continues to exist!
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A certain prisoner, most cunning and brutal, was singularly repulsive even in comparison with other prisoners. He had been known for his daring and for the utter absence of all feeling when committing acts of violence. The chaplain had spoken to him several times but had not succeeded even in getting an answer. The man was sullenly set against all instruction. At last he expressed a desire for a certain book, but as it was not in the library the chaplain pointed to the Bible which was placed in his cell, saying, "Did you ever read that Book?" He gave no answer but looked at the good man as if he would kill him. The question was kindly repeated, with the assurance that he would find it well worth reading. "Mister," said the convict, "you would not ask me such a question if you knew who I am. What have I to do with a book of that sort?" The chaplain answered, "I know all about you and that's why I think the Bible is the book for you." "It would do me no good," he cried. "I am past all feeling." Doubling up his fist, he struck the iron door of the cell and said, "My heart is as hard as that iron; there is nothing in any book that will ever touch me."

"Well," said the chaplain, "you want a new heart. Did you ever read the covenant of grace?" To which the man answered sullenly by inquiring what he meant by such talk. His friend replied, "Listen to these words: 'A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you' " (Eze 36:26). The words struck the man with amazement. He asked to have the passage found for him in the Bible. He read the words again and again; and when the chaplain came back to him the next day, the wild beast was tamed. "Oh, sir," he said, "I never dreamed of such a promise! I never believed it possible that God would speak in such a way to men. If He gives me a new heart, it will be a miracle of mercy; and yet I think He is going to work that miracle upon me, for the very hope of a new nature is beginning to touch me as I never was touched before."
----

A man whose hobby was collecting old books was talking to a friend, who mentioned that he'd just thrown out an old, tattered Bible while cleaning out the attic.
"Who printed it, do you know?" the book lover asked.
"Oh, someone named Guten-something-or-other," he replied.
"Gutenberg!?" the collector gasped. "You threw away a Gutenberg Bible?! Do you realize that one just sold at an auction for over $400,000?"
The friend was unmoved. "Maybe so, but this one wouldn't have been worth anything. Some guy named Martin Luther had written all over it."
-----

You define yourself by what you can do, not what you can't. Anthony Robles (one-legged wrestler), Winner 2010 NCAA wrestling title in the 125-pound division.
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如果有人為了你對別人所說出的每一句好話付你十分錢，而對每一句不好的話收回五分錢。你會成為富有或欠債呢？

"If someone were to pay you ten cents for every kind word that you have spoken about people, and collect five cents for every unkind word, would you be rich or in debt?"
-----

The undereducated. The value of education has never been clearer. The unemployment rate for people who never graduated high school is 15 percent--depression-level joblessness. For high-school grads with no college, unemployment is 10.4 percent, and for college grads it's just 4.9 percent. Who Will Struggle in 2011
-----

In 1980, workers with a high school diploma earned about 71% of what college-educated workers made. In 2010, that number fell to 55%. How the middle class became the underclass
-----

The week between Christmas and New Year's accounts for more than 15% of holiday spending, research firm ShopperTrak says. The day after Christmas was the second-highest revenue day for retailers last year with $7.9 billion spent.
----

Everton's fourth successive win at Eastlands showed their relish for defeating richer opponents. They are eager assassins who, having drawn with Manchester United, Tottenham and Chelsea, now have another scalp to accompany that of Liverpool.

"We can compete at the top end but we've not been able to compete at the bottom end because we've not been able to beat the teams below us, especially at Goodison," Moyes added. City celebrations put on ice
-----

有個女士正沿著街道行走的時候，被一個看起來衣衫破舊、非常骯髒無家可歸的女遊民搭訕，骯髒的女人問她有沒有一兩塊錢給她吃晚餐。

那女士取出了皮夾，拿出了十元然後問，如果我給你這錢，你將會用它去買葡萄酒而非晚餐嗎？

不，我必須停止喝！很久不喝了！無家的女人告訴她。

你會用它去購物中心血拼而非買食物嗎？

不，我不會浪費時間血拼，無家的女人說。我需要用所有精力在嘗試維持生活。

你會把它花在美容院而非食物嗎？

你瘋了嗎！無家的女人回答。我已經 20 年沒有做過頭髮！

很好，那我不要給你錢。相反地，今晚我要帶妳去，和我的丈夫一起吃晚餐。'

無家的女人感到異常吃驚。我知道，我是骯髒的，而且我可能聞起來相當令人厭惡。你的丈夫難道不會因為這樣而對妳不滿嗎？

那沒關係。重要的是讓他知道，當一個女人在她放棄購物、做頭髮和美酒之後，看起來會像什麼。

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?”

“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless woman replied.

“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” the woman asked.

“No, I don’t waste time shopping,” the homeless woman said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”

“Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?” the woman asked.

“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless woman. “I haven’t had my hair done in
20 years!”

“Well,” said the woman, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.”

The homeless woman was astounded. “Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”

The woman replied, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine.”
-----

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of
the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession
on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap,
closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have
ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
-----

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up
any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down
again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the
soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was
deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.
The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.”
-----

Optimist Creed:
To be strong that nothing can distrurb your peace of mind
To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.
To be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievement of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
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In fact, shoppers are expected to keep paring down the number of gifts to 16.8 from 18.2 in 2009, according to Deloitte Research. Retailers hope holiday shoppers ready to trade up
-----

Behind an apartment at the edge of town stands an arbor. Six feet high, it
was designed and built to support climbing plants, and it has been put to
good use. The residents have planted climbing roses at the base of the arbor
posts, and then added trellises to help the roses climb to the top. Beneath
the arbor are shrubs, flowering bushes, and statuary.

Hanging from the rungs at the top are bird feeders. The arbor is beautiful
to see, and undoubtedly a source of great pleasure to its owners. Nearby
sits a second arbor. Almost identical to the first, it stands stark, bare,
and unused. Its sole adornment is a fading, yellow thermometer, nailed to
one of the posts. With nothing to cover it, the wood appears much older and
more weathered. A monument to futility and unrealized purpose, the second
arbor stands stark, bare, and wasted.

Your life stands like an arbor, a gift from God, waiting to be used. You can
choose to complain that your arbor is too short, or too weathered, or not as
nice as somebody else's, or you can start planting. God is not going to
judge you on whether your life flowered as beautifully as someone else's.
But God will judge you on whether you used what he gave you or not.
-----

John Henry Fabre, a French biologist, conducted an experiment with processionary caterpillars. He took a flower pot containing pine needles, the caterpillars favorite food. Around the rim he placed the caterpillars, one behind the other, until they formed a complete circle. The caterpillars began circling around the pot rim, blindly following each other but going nowhere. They did this for an entire week. Then, one-by-one, they dropped off the pot, hopelessly exhausted.

So narrow was their vision that not one of them had broken the circle to go to the pine needles for nourishment. Such happens with the blind leading the blind.
-----

An elderly teacher, with a pupil by his side, took a walk through a forest. Suddenly he stopped and pointed to four plants close at hand. The first was just beginning to peep above the ground, the second had rooted itself pretty well into the earth, the third was a small shrub, while the fourth was a full-sized tree. The tutor said to his young companion, 'Pull up the first plant.' The boy did so eagerly, using only his fingers.

'Now pull up the second.' The youth obeyed but found the task more difficult.

'Do the same with the third,' he urged. The boy had to use all his strength to uproot it.

'Now,' said the instructor, 'try your hand with the fourth.' The pupil put his arms around the trunk of the tall tree and couldn't even shake its leaves. 'This, my son, is just what happens with our bad habits. When they are young, we can remove them readily; but when they are old, it's hard to uproot them, though we pray and struggle ever so sincerely.'"

From the Heidelberg Herald.
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幫助成千上萬失明的人
每五秒鐘，有一人失明。每一分鐘超過一個小孩失明，以60%的小孩在一年內死亡。
在世界有4500萬位盲人，2020會上升到7600萬人。
但是由全球初步的看見所提供的的計算是可信的，但不是全都冷酷的：80%失明者會被預防或治療。

There are three kinds of people in the world: the wills, the won'ts and the can'ts. The first accomplish everything; the second oppose everything; the third fail in everything.

There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened.
-----

A heavy rain had stopped falling just before a man drove down a lonely road. As he rounded a curve, he saw an old farmer surveying the ruins of his barn. The driver stopped to ask what happened. "Roof fell in," said the farmer. "Leaked so long it just rotted clear through." "Why didn't you fix it before it got so bad?" asked the stranger. "Well, sir," replied the farmer, "I just never seemed to get around to it. When the weather was good, I didn't need to. And when it rained, it was too wet to work on!"
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“Excellence can be obtained if you:
...care more than others think is wise;
...risk more than others think is safe;
...dream more than others think is practical;
...expect more than others think is possible.”
-----

Old Joe was dying. For years he had been at odds with Bill, formerly one of his best friends. Wanting to straighten things out, he sent word for Bill to come and see him.

When Bill arrived, Joe told him that he was afraid to go into eternity with such a bad feeling between them. Then, very reluctantly and with great effort, Joe apologized for things he had said and done. He also assured Bill that he forgave him for his offenses. Everything seemed fine until Bill turned to go. As he walked out of the room, Joe called out after him, “But, remember, if I get better, this doesn’t count!”

Our Daily Bread, June 18, 1994.
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According to data from the Kauffman Foundation, the highest rate of entrepreneurship in America has Sanitary Valves shifted to the 55–64 age group, with people over 55 almost twice as likely to found successful companies than those between 20 and 34. And while the entrepreneurship rate has gone up since Outdoor play equipment 1996 in most other age brackets as well, it has actually declined among Americans under 35. The Golden Age of Innovation, Newsweek Sept 8 2010
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Success at the junior level does not always translate into a prosperous professional career. The French racket maker Babolat studied the top 100 players from the International Tennis Federation’s boys and girls junior rankings over a span of several years and tracked their progress as they tried to crack the top 100 in the professional tours.

The results revealed that roughly 7 percent of the world’s best juniors were able to make the transition to a top-100 men’s or women’s player, and barely 1 percent reached the top 10. American Beats American for U.S. Open’s Junior Title
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The Scottish Presbyterian minister Alexander Whyte was known for his uplifting prayers in the pulpit. He always found something for which to be grateful.

One Sunday morning the weather was so miserable and gloomy that one church member thought to himself, "Surely the preacher won't think of anything for which to thank God on a wretched day like this." Much to his surprise, however, Whyte began by praying,

"We thank Thee, O God, that the weather’s not always like this."
-----

A family research study by the Chinese University in 2002 found that when Hong Kong children are in their homes they are either lying or sitting over 70 percent of the time and engaging in physical activities only 10 percent of the time. The propensity for kids to sit around like lumps of earth has prompted some to observe kids are starting to look like boulders.

The obesity rate among young people is skyrocketing. A study by the Baptist University in 2006 showed that 15 percent of Hong Kong children are deemed by the medical community to have become overweight at unsafe levels, a staggering five times the estimated 3.3 percent of children who were obese among developing Asian countries in 1995. China Daily
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There's a story about a town fool who asked a local teacher how far it is to heaven and how far it is to hell. The teacher replied, "I do not know for sure."

The fool became indignant and angrily said, "Don't know! Why do people pay you for things you don't know?"

"Well, if I was paid for everything I don't know, I would be very rich," said the teacher. "I am just paid for the little things I do know."
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A report in March from the Population Reference Bureau showed that more than 70 percent of Americans age 40 and over felt they had been affected by the economic crisis. Government data indicate that the net worth of the average American household has shrunk by about 20 percent — the greatest such decline since the end of World War II. Long-term unemployment — joblessness lasting six months or more — is also at its highest level since the mid-1940s. According to recent data from the Rockefeller Institute, 20 percent of Americans have seen their available household income decline by 25 percent or more.

The Pew poll showed nearly half of people who had been unemployed for more than six months saying their family relationships had become strained, and a New York Times/CBS poll of unemployed adults last winter found about 40 percent saying they believed their joblessness was causing behavioral change in their children. New York Times Magazine
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A recent study by IBM suggested some of the worst commutes are in Moscow, where drivers reported 2½-hour delays, on average, when asked about the worst traffic jam they faced in three years. Still, Beijing beat out Mexico City, Johannesburg, Moscow and New Delhi to take top spot in the International Business Machines Corp. survey of "commuter pain," which is based on a measure of the economic and emotional toll of commuting.
China Traffic Jam Could Last Weeks
-----

“During even the Depression’s worst years, my parents gave money — about 8 percent of their annual income of $2,200,” Mr. Lokey wrote in a letter posted on the Web site of the program, the Giving Pledge. “I remember saying to my mother that we can’t afford that. But she said we have to share with others. I learned from that to share.”

Perhaps the biggest surprise on the list was Larry Ellison, the founder of Oracle, who became the bad boy of philanthropy after he withdrew a $115 million gift from Harvard in protest over the resignation of Lawrence H. Summers as president.

In a brief note addressed “To Whom It May Concern,” Mr. Ellison disclosed that he had already assigned 95 percent of his wealth to a trust and noted that he had already given hundreds of millions of dollars away for medical research and education.

“Until now, I have done this giving quietly — because I have long believed that charitable giving is a personal and private matter,” Mr. Ellison wrote. “So why am I going public now? Warren Buffett personally asked me to write this letter because he said I would be ‘setting an example’ and ‘influencing others’ to give. I hope he’s right.” New York Times
-----

Bill sat alone in the hospital room at his dying wife's beside. It was difficult to hear her above the many life sustaining devices, as her voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. "Bill darling," she breathed. "I've got a confession to make before I go... I ... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe in the house ... I spent it on a fling with your best friend Jimmy. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the community in utter disgrace. I'm afraid I also was the one who reported you to the IRS for income tax evasion..."

"That's all right dearest; don't even give it a second thought." said Bill. "I have a small confession too. I'm the one who poisoned you."
-----

Handsome men earn, on average, 5 percent more than their less-attractive counterparts (good-looking women earn 4 percent more). Consider the following: over his career, a good-looking man will make some $250,000 more than his least-attractive counterpart, according to economist Daniel Hamermesh; 13 percent of women, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (and 10 percent of men, according to a new NEWSWEEK survey), say they’d consider cosmetic surgery if it made them more competitive at work. NEWSWEEK surveyed 202 corporate hiring managers, from human-resources staff to senior-level vice presidents, as well as 964 members of the public, only to confirm what no qualified (or unqualified) employee wants to admit: from hiring to office politics to promotions, even, looking good is no longer something we can dismiss as frivolous or vain.

Fifty-seven percent of hiring managers told NEWSWEEK that qualified but unattractive candidates are likely to have a harder time landing a job, while more than half advised spending as much time and money on “making sure they look attractive” as on perfecting a résumé. When it comes to women, apparently, flaunting our assets works: 61 percent of managers (the majority of them men) said it would be an advantage for a woman to wear clothing showing off her figure at work. (Ouch.) Asked to rank employee attributes in order of importance, meanwhile, managers placed looks above education: of nine character traits, it came in third, below experience (No. 1) and confidence (No. 2) but above “where a candidate went to school” (No. 4). Does that mean you should drop out of Harvard and invest in a nose job? Probably not. But a state school might be just as marketable. “This is the new reality of the job market,” says one New York recruiter, who asked to have her name withheld because she advises job candidates for a living. “It’s better to be average and good- looking than brilliant and unattractive.”
The Beauty Advantage, Newsweek Jul 26, 2010/7/26
http://www.newsweek.com/2010/07/19/the-beauty-advantage.html
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After a four year old boy told his father that he had a stomach ache, the father suggested: "That's because it's empty. You'd feel better if you had something in it." He gave the child a glass of juice.

A couple of days later, the family's pastor came by to visit the family. The pastor mentioned that he had a bad headache. The little boy responded: "That's because it's empty. You'd feel better if you had something in it."
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FIFA's fair play code which states: "Winning is without value if victory has been achieved unfairly or dishonestly. Cheating is easy, but brings no pleasure."
FIFA could extend ban
-----

The survey said that "the number of the poor in the world living on less than $1.25 a day decreased from 1.8 billion in 1990 to 1.4 billion in 2005, but nearly all of this reduction was concentrated in China." The number of poor increased in sub-Saharan Africa and South Asia over the same period. Income inequalities within countries have increased since the early 1980s with few exceptions, the report said.
Dollar should be replaced as international standard, U.N. report says
-----

Dunga has argued it is impossible to play what the Brazilian media refer to as “futebol-arte” (artful football) or “Jogo Bonito” (the Beautiful Game) when other teams simply shut up shop and pack their defense.

“When you play opponents who close ranks, you have to speed up the game, you misplace passes, you have to be persistent, it’s not easy to play against that sort of team,” he said after his side labored to a 2-1 win over North Korea in their opener.

Asked about the huge expectations, he complained: “We always have to win but, even when we win, they (the fans) are not happy because we didn’t put on a show. If we put on a show, they are not happy because we didn’t score six or seven goals.

“If we score six or seven goals, then they say that the opposition was no good.”
Brazil still haunted by Pele’s 1970 world beaters
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A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.
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Friends
My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me. Henry Ford
A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out. Grace Pulpit
A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half-cracked.
A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself. Frances Ward Weller
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. Oprah Winfrey
True friendship isn't about being there when it's convenient; it's about being there when it's not.
Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. Sicilian Proverb
A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down. Arnold Glasow
The only way to have a friend is to be one. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief. Swedish proverb
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When (Avram) Grant travels Monday to the former Nazi death camp of Auschwitz-Birkenau for the annual March of the Living, he will be remembering family members who froze or starved to death in a Russian forest after fleeing Poland in 1941.

Providing added poignancy for Grant is that he traveled to the commemorations in Poland two years ago the morning after guiding Chelsea into the Champions League final.

“It’s emotional—I wanted to win anyway, but for the second time it has happened, to reach the final at this time,” the Israeli said in broken English. “It’s more than symbolic.”

This time Grant won’t be traveling with his father. Meir Granat died in October shortly after urging his son to return to management at Portsmouth. Granat was the only family member to survive Siberia and had to bury his parents and siblings—some of the six million Jews who perished in the Holocaust.

“My father suffered a lot but he was most optimistic guy I ever met in my life,” Grant said. “He said don’t live in past, live in future. My father was always happy, never hated people, even when they did wrong.”
http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/news?slug=ap-portsmouth-grant
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Five Billionaires Who Live Below Their Means by Katie Adams Thursday, April 1, 2010
Warren Buffett
Buffett, who is worth an estimated $47 billion, eschews opulent homes and luxury items. He and his wife still live in their modest home in Omaha, Nebraska which they purchased for just $31,500 more than 50 years ago. Although he's dined in the best restaurants around the globe, given the choice he would opt for a good burger and fries accompanied by a cold cherry Coke. When asked why he doesn't own a yacht he responded "Most toys are just a pain in the neck."

Carlos Slim
Slim, who is a native of Mexico, was just named the world's richest billionaire – that's right, richer than the uber-famous Microsoft founder. Slim is worth more than $53 billion and while he could afford the world's most extravagant luxuries he rarely indulges. He, like Buffett, doesn't own a yacht or plane and he has lived in the same home for over 40 years.

Ingvar Kamprad (the founder of the Swedish furniture phenomenon Ikea)
He's been quoted as saying "Ikea people do not drive flashy cars or stay at luxury hotels." That goes for the founder as well. He flies coach for business and when he needs to get around town locally he either takes the bus or will head out in his 15-year-old Volvo 240 GL.

Chuck Feeney
With a personal motto of "I set out to work hard, not get rich," the co-founder of Duty Free Shoppers has quietly become a billionaire but even more secretively given almost all of it away through his foundation, Atlantic Philanthropies. In addition to giving more than $600 million to his alma mater Cornell University, he has given billions to schools, research departments and hospitals. Loath to spend if he doesn't have to, Feeney beats both Buffett and Kamprad in the donation category, giving out less grants than only Ford and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundations. A frequent user of public transportation, Mr. Feeney flies economy class, buys clothes from retail stores, and does not wast money on an extensive shoes closet, stating "you can only wear one pair of shoes at a time". He raised his children in the same way; making them work the same normal summer jobs as most teens.

Frederik Meijer
Like Buffett he buys reasonably-priced cars and drives them until they die, and like Kamprad he chooses affordable motels when on travel for work. Also, like Chuck Feeney, rather than carelessly spending his wealth Mr. Meijer is focused on the good that it can provide to the community.
http://finance.yahoo.com/retirement/article/109243/five-billionaires-who-live-below-their-means?mod=retire-planning
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Around 1892, Renoir developed rheumatoid arthritis. In 1907, he moved to the warmer climate of "Les Collettes," a farm at Cagnes-sur-Mer, close to the Mediterranean coast.[11] Renoir painted during the last twenty years of his life, even when arthritis severely limited his movement, and he was wheelchair-bound. He developed progressive deformities in his hands and ankylosis of his right shoulder, requiring him to adapt his painting technique. Wikipedia
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一位司機在公路上以每小時80英里的速度急駛，不料被警察攔住了。
「我是不是開得太快了？」司機抱歉地問道。
「哪兒的事」，警察回答，「你飛得太低了。」

A motorist speeding along a highway at 80 miles an hour was stopped by a policeman. “Was I driving too fast?” asked the motorist apologetically.
“Hell no,” replied the policeman. “You were flying too low!”
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Li Ping-kit is a 77-year-old with a ready smile despite the fact she has little to smile about and lives a life few can begin to imagine.

Li lives in an 80 square foot cubicle with a monthly rent of HK$1,100 in an old tenment building in Yau Ma Tei.

She works 5pm to 11pm a day, 26 days a month, as a cleaning worker at a public toilet a 10-minute walk away.

She receives a monthly pay cheque of HK$3,366 from the job at which she has toiled for 12 years. It is her only source of income.

Despite such adverse conditions, Li, who likes to be called Granny Li, does not complain.

"I do not think it is tought at all. The job only requires me to clean the toilet and change the toilet paper," she said. "Many of my friends, especially those who are of similar age to me, say how lucky I am that I can still have a job. They say they want to have one but no one is willing to hire them."

Li came to Hong Kong 12 years ago to fulfill her dream of reuniting with her husband who she married 58 years ago.

But the reuinon dream was short-lived, with the couple separating after living together in the city for just six months.

"I Have worked in almost every toilet in this area. In the past, my wage was even lower - about HK$2,500 a month," Li said.

The Cleaning Service Industry Workers Union estimates the number of cleaners, including general and toilet cleaners, is about 160,000. ("It's Not Tough at All, Toilet Cleaner, 77, Says," SCMP Feb 23, 2010.
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A man who fathered two sons wound up spending his life behind bars without
having much interaction with either of his boys. Years passed. One son
graduated from college and became a successful father and businessman. The
other son followed in his father's footsteps and became a criminal. A reporter
asked each adult son: "To what do you attribute the difference in your life paths?"
The 1st son said: "What else could I have become with the father that I had?"
The 2nd son said: "What else could I have become with the father that I had?"
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Help in sight for millions of blind people
Every five seconds, someone goes blind. Add to that, one more child goes blind every minute, with 60 percent of the kids dying within a year.
There are 45 million blind people in the world, and it could rise to 76 million by 2020.
But the figures, provided by the global initiative Seeing is Believing, are not all grim: 80 percent of blindness can be prevented or treated.
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Mini-plaque: Would you like to speak to the man in charge, or the woman who knows what's happening?
The road to success is always under construction
Middle age is when a broad mind and a narrow waist exchange places
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Phidias very likely was the greatest sculptor among the ancient Greeks. Legend tells us that he was extremely careful when applying the finishing touches to the beautiful statue of Diana which was to adorn the Acropolis in Athens. As he applied his chisel to the back side of Diana’s head, he shaped each strand of hair with great patience, giving his full attention to the tiniest detail.
An observer reminded Phidias that the statue would stand one hundred feet high with its back to a huge marble wall. “Why waste your time on those finishing touches which will never be seen?” he asked. “Who will ever know of such detailed work in the back?”

Phidias solemnly replied, “I will know!”
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Quotes 引證:
Form is temporary and class is permanent.

There is a driving force more powerful than steam, electricity and nuclear power: the will. Einstein

When my Marines put on their uniforms and the emblem of the Corps and went into battle and things got tough, they did not fight for their commander, they fought for their brothers-in-arms, the men wearing their uniform and emblem. Aston Villa director General Charles C Krulak

The harder you work, the luckier you will get. Kenny Dalglish

Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Mahatma Gandhi
Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of its immense benefits to the one
who forgives. Lawana Blackwell, The Dowry of Miss Lydia Clark, 1999
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. William Blake (1757 -

There is more to life than increasing its speed. Mahatma Gandhi

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world—not even our troubles. Charlie Chaplin

Vision without action is a daydream, Action without vision is a nightmare.

Until June, I am certainly at Manchester City. I have a five-year contract and can't say anything. Mario Balotelli

沒有人規定鋼琴一定要用手彈。劉偉
Nobody decrees a piano must be played with hands. Liu Wei

Our lives, like football games, need goals, boundaries and occasional time-outs. William Arthur Ward

He (Jack Wilshere) should have been home in bed [when the nightclub incident happened). You don't make a career at the top without knowing how to behave. If you are a football player and you stay out half-an-hour longer than you should, it is a massive problem. Arsene Wenger

I get 'Fat Head' at Liverpool, 'the Elephant Man' at Man City and 'Mr Potato Head' at West Brom. Is there something wrong with my head or something? Steve Bruce

I never say we are turning the corner because it seems to me that if you turn the corner four times, you are back where you started. Sunil Gulati

Man is that being who invented the gas chambers of Auschwitz; however, he is also that being who entered those gas chambers upright, with the Lord's Prayer or the Shema Yisrael on his lips. Victor Frankl

The only everlasting property market is in the sky. Victor Yap

T-shirt: Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen.

Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills.

Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom. Jim Rohn

Temper gets you into trouble.Pride keeps you there. Anonymous

Language has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone, and the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone. Paul Tillich

He who waits to do a great deal of good at once will never do anything. Life is made up of little things. True greatness consists in being great in little things. Samuel Johnson

When the chips are down you learn more about the team, about the manager, about everyone than when things are going well. When it is going very well you don't perhaps see those points, but when they are going wrong, you do. David Sullivan

You don’t ever want a crisis to go to waste; it’s an opportunity to do important things that you would otherwise avoid. Rahm Emanuel

To understand is to stand under (or in) another's position in the world.

Home of the 15-minute sermon, the 7% tithe.

Best things to say to sufferers: (1) Are you OK? (2) How can I help?

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LAUGHTER 笑聲
約翰衛斯理曾說，酸腐的敬虔是屬鬼魔的宗教，它並不會帶出真正屬靈的人。我懷疑酸腐的敬虔是源自一群不快樂的、半宗教化的人，對他們而言，宗教除了讓他們受折磨，卻不能給他們什麼好處。

John Wesley said that sour godliness is the devil’s religion. It does not owe its inception to truly spiritual people. I suspect that sour godliness originated among unhappy, semi-religious people who had just enough religion to make them miserable, but not enough to do them good.” (Edward L. Pleet QQ 324)
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在 Adam J. Jackson (1998) 所著的《人生的四大秘密》中提到，人生四大秘密包含：「愛的祕密」、「快樂的祕密」、「健康的祕密」和「財富的祕密」。其中，「快樂的祕密」則包含十種力量，其中之一就是「幽默」。
有則名為〈大笑之歌〉的歌詞說道：「一笑煩惱跑，二笑怨氣消，三笑憾事了，四笑病魔逃，五笑永不老，六笑樂逍遙；時常開口笑，壽比老彭高。」
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Quotes引證 :
Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.Booker T. Washington

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Mahatma Gandhi

Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of its immense benefits to the one who forgives. Lawana Blackwell, The Dowry of Miss Lydia Clark, 1999

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. William Blake (1757 - 1827)

Hate is like an acid. It destroys the vessel in which it is stored. Ann Landers

Hating someone is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it. Nelson Mandela.

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. Lewis B. Smedes

He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not is a slave. Sir William Drummond

People who like people are people that people like!

If I would get to the highest place in Athens, I would lift up my voice and say: What mean ye fellow citizens that you turn every stone to scrape wealth together and take so little care of your children to whom you must one day relinquish it all? Socrates

Faith is to believe what we do not see, and the reward of this faith is to see what we believe. Augustine

Failures are divided into two classes -- those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought. John Charles Salak

A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook the unbecoming, understand the unconventional, tolerate the unpleasant, overcome the unexpected, and outlast the unbearable. Billy Graham

瘋子總是很嚴肅的，他們因為缺乏幽默感所以瘋了。（G.K. Chesterton）
Madmen are always serious; they go mad from lack of humor. G.K. Chesterton

別一板正經的過日子，人生不會是持久不變的。（無名氏）
Don’t take life so seriously...It’s not permanent. Anonymous

千萬不要相信一個不知如何微笑的人，但也別相信一個老是笑不停的人。
Don’t trust anyone who doesn’t know how to smile or anyone who smiles all the time. James Thorpe

給Charles Swindoll的一封信：「你可以停止講道，但是可千萬不要停止笑。」
Letter to Charles Swindoll: You can stop preaching, but don’t ever stop laughing.

微笑是不花錢就可以改善你的外貌的好方法。（Andy Rooney）
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. Andy Rooney

一個不會哭的年輕人是粗僻的，一個不會笑得老年人是愚蠢的。（George Santayana）
The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the older man who will not laugh is a fool. George Santayana

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LEADERSHIP 領袖
三個小男孩一邊走在便道上，一邊爭論誰的爸爸最偉大。
一個說：「我爸爸最偉大因爲他是這個鎮的銀行行長。」
第二個小男孩說：「嗯，那很不錯。可我爸爸在這個鎮上擁有兩家食品店！」
第三個小男孩說：「那算什麼。我爸爸是牧師，他擁有地獄。昨天晚上他回到家，告訴我媽媽說教會董事們把地獄給了他。」

Three young boys were walking on the sidewalk arguing over whose daddy was the greatest.
One said, “My dad is the greatest because he is the president of the town bank.”
The second boy said, “That is pretty good, but my daddy owns two grocery stores in town!”
The third boy said, “That's nothing, my dad is a preacher, and he owns hell. He came home last night and told my mom that the Church Board gave it to him!”
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Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

聰明老闆+聰明員工=賺錢
聰明老闆+愚蠢員工=生產
愚蠢老闆+聰明員工=升遷
愚蠢老闆+愚蠢員工=加班
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22歲生意失敗。
23歲競選立法機構落選舉。
24歲再一次生意失敗。
25歲被選入立法院
26歲愛人死亡
27歲。精神崩潰。
29歲參選國會的代言人落選。
31歲競選總統候選人落選
34歲競選國會議員落選
37歲被選當國會議員。
39歲競選國會議員落選。
46歲競選參議院議員落選。
47歲競選副總統落選。
49歲競選參議院議員落選。
51歲成功的被選為美國總統。
這是林肯總統的生平，他的一生常受失敗之苦，因怕失敗都已成功，但因為他從不放棄，他獲得美國最高的職位。

Age 22. failed in business.
Age 23 ran for legislature and was defeated.
Age 24 failed again in business.
Age 25 elected to legislature.
Age 26 sweetheart died.
Age 27 had a nervous breakdown.
Age 29 defeated for Speaker.
Age 31 defeated for Elector.
Age 34 defeated for Congress.
Age 37 elected to Congress.
Age 39 defeated for Congress.
Age 46 defeated for Senate.
Age 47 defeated for vice president.
Age 49 defeated for Senate.
Age 51 elected president of the United States.
This is the record of Abraham Lincoln. Throughout his life, he suffered many more defeats than victories. But because he never gave up he won the highest office in the land.
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Quotes引證 :
History is the sum total of things that could have been avoided. Konrad Adenauer

Great leaders inspire their men to glory. Steve McClaren will be remembered as a wally with a brolly. The Daily Mail

A coach should be the first one there and the last one to leave. Landon Donovan

委員會是一群花上個把鐘頭卻只留下幾分鐘重點的人。（Milton Berle）
A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. Milton Berle

一個會議的長度和與會的人數成平方比。
The length of a meeting rises with the square of the number of people present. Eileen Shanahan

準時到場的人是新手，半場才發言的人已經上道了，最早提議散會的人最受歡迎，這是大家都期待的。
Never arrive on time; this stamps you as a beginner. Don’t say anything until he meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise. Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular; it’s what everyone is waiting for. Harry Chapman

委員會是一群：不合適的人，心不甘情不願地被任命，去作些沒有必要的事情。（Steward Harrol）
Committee – a group of the unfit, appointed by the unwilling, to do the unnecessary. Steward Harrol

委員會好像死胡同，念頭被引出來又靜靜地被捏死。
A committee s a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and the quietly strangled.

自己動手的人是工人，自己動手又動腦的人是匠人，只動腦卻叫別人動手的人是經理。
A man who works with his hands is a laborer. A man who works with his hands and his brains is a craftsman. But a man who works with his brains and the hand of others is an executive.

有疑惑時，含糊的說；有麻煩時，委託別人作；要負責時，小心估量。
When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.
James H. Boren

委員會是一群花費幾個鐘頭卻只留下幾分鐘重點的人。
Committee: A group of people that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

一個知道如何作的人總能找到工作，一個知道「為什麼」的人總是他的老闆。（Diane Ravitch）
The person who knows “how” will always have a job. The person who knows “why” will always be his boss. Diane Ravitch

一個團隊就好像一隻在聖誕節收到的幼虎，起初的12個月它總能把老鼠嚇跑，但是之後它就開始吃你的小孩。
A team is like a baby tiger given to you at Christmas. It does a wonderful job of keeping the mice away for about 12 months, and then it starts to eat your kids.

統治慾是異端之母。（St. John Chrysostom）
The desire to rule is the mother of heresies. St. John Chrysostom.

當一群人有足夠的自我肯定並且能讚美他人的能力時，一個團隊就形成了。，
A group becomes a team when each member is sure enough of himself and his contribution to praise the skill of the others. Norman S Hidle

領導權與統治無關，但是和責任有關。（Howard Hendricks）
Leadership is not about rule but responsibility. Howard Hendricks

領導能力是在人前把你的恐慌藏起來。
Leadership is the ability to hide your panic from others.

一個經理問的是如何？何時？一個領導者問的是什麼？為什麼？（Warren Bennis）
The manager asks how and when; the leader asks what and why. Warren Bennis

領導別人不是打他們的頭，那是攻擊，不叫領導。
You do not lead people by hitting them over the head that’s assault, not leadership. Eisenhower

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Sunday, November 18, 2007

LATEST 新增，Laughter 笑聲，Leadership 領袖

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