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Sunday, November 18, 2007

Improvement 進步,Intelligence 聰明,Kindness 仁慈,Knowledge 知識

IMPROVEMENT 進步
有個令人嫌惡的傢伙,總是喜歡在禱告會第一個起來,然後老是重述他那老套的見證:「我稱頌主,因祂拯救我、保護我。」後來,有個比較認識他的弟兄,起身憤怒地說:「弟兄,祂沒有保住你,卻是把你醃住了。」

There was a disagreeable man who always liked to be the first to get up in prayer meeting and repeat his stereotyped testimony, “I praise the Lord for saving me and preserving me.” Finally, a brother who knew him a little better than the others indignantly got up and said, “Brother, He didn’t preserve you, He pickled you.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 931)
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假設一個由外星來的訪客,看見在玫瑰花叢裏有一條毛蟲,他們就開始了對話。這番對話是這樣:「你是多麼醜陋和臃腫,一天到晚甚麼也不做,儘是吃、吃、吃、吃…,」訪客說。

「對」,毛蟲回答說:「但我不會永遠是這樣的。有一天我會有美麗的翼,然後在花與花之間飛呀飛呀。」

「聽來好像真一樣的故事」,訪客笑著回答。幾天之後,這個陌生人在玫瑰花叢裏,發現一個硬身棕色的蛹,更奇是聽到毛蟲的聲音正在歌唱,「現在我比以前更差了。看見我不動也不吃,你以為我死了;但不久我將會復活和在陽光下飛來飛去。

「多麼可憐受矇騙毛蟲」,訪客說:「你最好接受你的生命已到盡頭的事實。」但幾了三星期,當陌生訪客再次在玫瑰花園裏散步時,十分震驚又聽聞毛蟲的聲音。找尋曾經見過蛹,他卻發現一隻美麗的翼,另一隻翼正從破裂的蛹展開。「你看」,那把聲音說:「我的復活來臨了」,然後散開牠的翼輕快地飛揚,享受牠奇妙而新的形態的存在。

Suppose a visitor to our earth from another planet were to see a caterpillar on a rosebush, and a conversation could take place between them. It might go something like this: “How ugly you are and how gross, doing nothing but eat, eat, eat, all day long,” says the visitor. “True,” replies the caterpillar, “but I won’t always be like this. Some day I’ll have beautiful wings, and fly from flower to flower.” “A likely story,” says the visitor with a laugh. A few days later, this stranger finds a hard brown chrysalis on the rosebush and is surprised to hear the caterpillar’s voice saying, “Now I’m worse off than before. You think I’m dead because I can neither move nor eat, but soon I shall have a resurrection and fly in the sun.” “Poor deluded worm,” says the visitor, “you’d better accept the fact that your life is over.” But about three weeks later, the stranger, strolling in the rose garden, is surprised to hear the caterpillar’s voice again. Looking for the chrysalis, he sees one beautiful wing and then another unfolding from its cracked shell. “You see,” says the voice, “my resurrection has come,” and spreading its wings the butterfly flits away to enjoy its wonderful new existence. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 616)
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一位藝術家曾經被問道:「你曾經畫過最好的畫作在哪裡?」,這藝術家很自信地回答:「下一張」。但另一位藝術家,雖然他達於榮耀高峰,卻是感嘆:「太糟了,我失敗了!」他的一位朋友很驚訝地問:「你為什麼這樣說呢?」他說:「因為我已經失去任何進步的希望了!」

A great artist was once asked, "What's the best picture you've ever painted?" "The next one," he replied confidently. But another artist was heard to lament, "Too bad I failed," though he was at the very height of his glory. "Why do you say that?" asked a friend of his in astonishment. "Because I've lost any hope of improvement," he said. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths Copyright)
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有個德國人,他的妻子生病住院在布魯克林區的塞尼醫院,第一個晚上他電話詢問妻子的病況,得到的回覆是說:她有「進步」。第二天,他又打電話來,得到的回覆仍然是:她正「進步」中。這樣持續了一段時間,每一天的報告都說:他的妻子「進步」中。最後,有一天,他問到妻子的狀況:「我的妻子好嗎?」,得到的回覆卻是:「她死了!」他走了出去,遇到一位朋友,朋友說:「嗨!你妻子好嗎?」他說:「她死了!」朋友說:「哦!真是可怕,她是怎麼死的?」他說:因為「進步!」

A German, whose wife was ill at the Seney Hospital, Brooklyn, called the first evening she was there and inquired how she was getting along. He was told that she was improving.

Next day he called again, and was told she was still improving. This went on for some time, each day the report being that his wife was improving.

Finally one day he called and said:

“How is my wife?”

“She’s dead.”

He went out and met a friend, and the friend said:

“Well, how is your wife?”

“She’s dead”

“Ooh! How terrible! What did she die of?”

“Improvements!” (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
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偉大的小提琴家尼古拉.帕格尼尼曾經希望他那把絕妙的小提琴送到他的出生地--熱內亞,但唯一的條件是,這把琴不能再被演奏。這是不幸的情況,因為這小提琴的木頭材質特性是:只要使用它、操作它,它品質下降的情況是微乎其微。然而,一旦把它儲藏起來,它就會開始腐朽。

The great violinist, Nicolo Paganini, willed his exquisite violin to Genoa—the city of his birth—but only on the condition that the instrument never be played again. It was an unfortunate condition, for it is a characteristic of wood that as long as it is used and handled, it shows little decline in quality. However, as soon as it is set aside in storage, it begins to decay. Appleseeds.org
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那船正在下沉—且迅速下沉。船長告訴乘客和水手:「我們需要立刻把救生艇放到水裏。」但水手說:「我們首先要結束勞動方面資本家的壓逼。我們才講到關於救生艇。」婦女們卻說:「我們需要同工同酬。放下救生艇的事慢一點再講。

少數民族說:「首先要結束種族歧視。在處理救生艇事上,才會有有公平的安排」。船長說:「這些都是重要事情,但他們都不該死的,倘若都不能救活,甚麼也不用說。我們需要立刻放下救生艇!

但宗教家說:「我們需要祈禱,這比救生艇更為重要。」主張保護胎兒權利的代表說:「我們先要宣佈胎死腹中是不合法的,因為胎兒絕對如同任何人一樣,有權利上這救生艇」。

人權代表說:「首先要承認我們有權把胎兒流產,然後我們才會幫助處理救生艇事宜。」而社會主義者說:「我們先會重新分配財產,那時大家就會做平等的工夫去處理救生艇了」。動物權益的激進分子說:「先終止再用動物成為各項實驗的犧牲品,因我們不能做了次要的事不正視更重要的事,就是放下救生艇」。

最後船下沉了,所有人都被溺斃。最後一個臨死前心裏想,萬料不到解決以上人的問題,竟然比救人更重要。

The ship was sinking---and sinking fast. The captain told the passengers and crew, “We’ve got to get the lifeboats in the water right away.” But the crew said, “First we have to end capitalist oppression of the working class. Then we’ll take care of the lifeboats.” Then the women said, “First we want equal pay for equal work. The lifeboats can wait.” The racial minorities said, “First we need to end racial discrimination. Then seating in the lifeboats will be allotted fairly.” The captain said, “These are all important issues, but they won’t matter a damn if we don’t survive. We’ve got to lower the lifeboats right away!” But the religionists said, “First we need to bring prayer back into the classroom. This is more important than lifeboats.” Then the pro-life contingent said, “First we must outlaw abortion. Fetuses have just as much right to be in those lifeboats as anyone else.” The right-to-choose contingent said, “First acknowledge our right to abortion, then we’ll help with the lifeboats.” The socialists said, “First we must redistribute the wealth. Once that’s done everyone will work equally hard at lowering the lifeboats.” The animal-rights activists said, “First we must end the use of animals in medical experiments. We can’t let this be subordinated to lowering the lifeboats.” Finally the ship sank, and because none of the lifeboats had been lowered, everyone drowned. The last thought of more than one of them was, “I never dreamed that solving humanity’s problems would take so long---or that the ship would sink so SUDDENLY.”
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鋼琴演奏會之後,一個女士發出驚嘆之語:「多麼出色的表現啊!」。這鋼琴家稍作鞠躬後回應她:「這可是費了我大半生才有如此的演奏,女士,確實是如此!」。

“What a superb performance,” gushed the woman when the recital was over. “I’d give half my life to be able to play the piano like that.”

“Madam,” responded the pianist with a little bow, “that is exactly what it took.” (And I Quote, Ashton Applewhite)
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加里.普萊耶多年來是國內和國際高爾夫球賽事的好手,人們經常對他說:「如果我能像你一樣打出一個高爾夫球,我會願意付出一切。」
某天,聽到這樣的話,普萊耶不耐煩地回應:「不,你不會。如果這麼容易,你可以像我一樣擊出高爾夫球。然而,你知道為此,你必須做哪些事情嗎?你必須每早五點起床,到高爾夫球場去,然後,打一千個高爾夫球。你的手會開始流血,你到俱樂部會所洗掉手上的血,綁上繃帶,再出去打另一千個球,這就是像我一樣打高爾夫球所要付出的代價。」

Gary Player for years was a great competitor in national and international golf tournaments. People constantly said to him, “I’d give anything if I could hit a golf ball like you.”

Upon hearing that comment one day, Player responded impatiently: “No, you wouldn’t. You’d do anything to hit a golf ball like me, if it were easy! Do your know what you have to do to hit a golf ball like me? You’ve got to get up at 5:00 every morning, go out to the golf course, and hit a thousand golf balls! Your hands start bleeding, and you walk to the clubhouse and wash the blood off your hands, slap a bandage on it, and go out and hit another thousand golf balls! That is what it takes to hit a golf ball like me!” http://quikonnex.com/channel/item/22062
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當商店經理回來吃午飯,他注意到他的店員的手被包紮,但他還沒來得及詢問繃帶,秘書有一些非常好的消息給他。 “猜猜看什麼,先生?”店員說。 “我終於把那長期放在店裏,可怕而醜陋的衣服賣掉了!
「你的意思是那令人厭惡,粉紅色和藍色雙排扣的!」經理問。 「就是!」
「那太好了!」經理叫道,「我一直以為我們無法處理掉那件怪物!這已經成為我們有史以來最難看的西裝了!但你能告訴我,為什麼你的手包紮?」
「哦」,店員說,「當我賣掉了那件西裝時,他的導盲犬咬了我。」

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk’s hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him. “Guess what, sir?” the clerk said. “I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we’ve had so long!” “Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?!” the manager asked. “That’s the one!” “That’s great!” the manager cried, “I thought we’d never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we’ve ever had! But tell me, why is your hand bandaged?” “Oh,” the clerk replied, “after I sold the guy that suit, his seeing-eye dog bit me.”
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故事是聽說在葡萄牙有個修道院,它位於三千英呎高的峭壁上,只能藉著搭乘一個搖晃的籃子才能進去。這籃子是由幾位強壯的男人用一條繩子拉上去,他們揮汗勞苦在拉緊滿載的籃子下。有個美國遊客在籃子升上峭壁一半時緊張起來,因為他注意到那繩子又老舊、又有磨損。為了減輕他的擔憂,他問說:「你們多久更換這條繩子?」這負責的修道士回說:「當它要斷掉的時候!」

The story is told of a monastery in Portugal, perched high on a 3,000 foot cliff and accessible only by a terrifying ride in a swaying basket। The basket is pulled with a single rope by several strong men, perspiring under the strain of the fully loaded basket. One American tourist who visited the site got nervous halfway up the cliff when he noticed that the rope was old and frayed. Hoping to relive his fear he asked, “How often do you change the rope?” The monk in charge replied, “Whenever it breaks!” Daily Walk, March 30, 1992.
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兩個流浪漢到同個公園長椅休息,然後對話起來,最後講到,為何他們都淪落到如此糟糕的困境。一個說:「你正注視的這個人,他從來不採納別人的意見!」另一個說:「真是夠巧的!你正注視的這個人,他卻是接受所有人的意見!」

Two bums came to rest on the same park bench and struck u a conversation. Eventually they got around to how each of them had come to such dire straits.
One explained, “You are looking at a man who never took a word of advice from any man!”
“Isn’t that a coincidence?” replied the other. “You are looking at a man who took up everybody’s advice.” (The Toastmaster General’s Favorite Jokes 108, George Jessel Secaucus, NJ: Castle Books, 1973)
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托馬斯.愛迪森是偉大的發明家,他曾經和北卡羅萊納州州長會面,州長讚揚他的發明天賦。愛迪生
卻回答說:「我不是一個大發明家」,州長疑問道:「但是,你有超過一千項認可的發明專利,不是嗎?」他回說:「是的,但其中我可以真正宣稱是我絕對原創的發明只有留聲機這一件。」州長說:「為什麼,我恐怕不懂你的意思?」愛迪生解釋:「我想我是個極佳的海綿,我從每個來源資料吸取點子,然後,實際應用他們,改進他們,直到他們成為有價值的東西,而這些我運用的點子多半來自別人沒有自我開發的概念。」

Thomas Edison, the great inventor, was talking once with the governor of North Carolina, and the governor complimented him on his inventive genius. “I am not a great inventor.” Replied Edison. “But you have over a thousand patents to your credit, haven’t you?” queried the governor. “Yes, but about the only invention I can really claim as absolutely original is the phonograph,” was the reply. Why, I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean,” said the governor. “Well,” explained Edison, “ I guess I’m an awful good sponge. I absorb ideas from every source I can, and put them to practical use. Then I improve them until they become of some value. The ideas which I use are mostly the ideas of other people who don’t develop them themselves.”
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一個富人快要死了,他把三個兒子叫來,對他們說:「我希望把財富原封不動交託出去,所以,我要給你們每個人一件同樣的工作,看看誰最有能力來管理錢財。在我的倉庫有三間庫房,每個大小都一樣,這裡給每人一個銀錢袋,你們的工作是用銀錢所能買到的東西,把庫房充滿。」大兒子就用他所有的錢買了沙子,把房間充滿了三分之一。二兒子也用他所有的錢買了泥土,把房間充滿了二分之一。三兒子只花了一點錢買了蠟燭和火柴,卻使整個房間充滿了亮光。

A rich man was dying, so he called his three sons and said to them, “I wish to leave my fortune intact so I will set each of you the same task to see who is most capable of managing money. In my warehouse there are three large storerooms, all of the same size. Here is a bag of silver each. Your task is to each fill one storeroom with as much as your silver will buy.” The first son bought sand with all his money and filled a third of his room. The second son bought soil with all his money and filled half of his room. The third son spent only a small portion of his money and bought some candles and matches to fill his room with light. Stephen Cassettari, Parables on the Road, Angus & Robertson
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Dan Crawford (1870-1926) spent most of his adult life serving as a missionary in Africa. When it was time to return home to Britain, Crawford described to an old Bantu the kind of world he was about to return to. He told him about ships that ran under the water, on the water, and even those that flew above the water. He described English houses with all of their conveniences, such as running water and electric lights. Then Crawford waited for the old African to register his amazement. “Is that all, Mr. Crawford”? the aged man asked. “Yes, I think it is,? Crawford replied. Very slowly and very gravely, the old Bantu said, “Well, Mr. Crawford, you know, that to be better off is not to be better.” The Wycliffe Handbook of Preaching & Preachers, Warren Wiersbe, p. 188
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前一個牧師離開了。一個新的年輕牧師來到奧克拉荷瑪州的一個小鎮上。他花了許多天拜訪他的會友,請他們繼續來參加主日崇拜,但是他失敗了。

於是,他在當地報紙上刊登了一則廣告:這個教會已死了。以一個牧師來說,是他的責任至少能為這教會辦一個隆重的喪禮。喪禮將在下個主日的下午舉行。

因為好奇的緣故,全鎮的人幾乎都來了。在講台後方,他們看到一口棺材,埋在花堆中。 牧師講完悼念的信息後,照例邀請會眾到台前,對棺材內以死的人,致上最後的敬意。

大家因為好奇,排了好長一隊,要看棺材中到底是什麼?看到後,每個人都帶著深深的罪惡感,在神前懺悔。在棺材的裡面,放了一面鏡子:每個人看到的,是他們自己。
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有一個探險家不幸落入一群食人族的手中。在被吃之前,酋長用流利的英文告訴這位探險家,他曾在美國留學過。

這位探險家聽了就問他:「你即然受過文明的教育,為什麼還要吃人肉?這與未受教育之前有什麼不同呢」?

酋長就很得意回答他:「那當然是有很大的不同,因為我現在吃人肉,都改用刀叉了」。
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理智的人會調整自己來適應世界;不理智的人會不斷地試著調整世界來配合自己。因此,所有的進步都要靠不理智的人來完成。(蕭伯納,George Bernard Shaw)真正的改革或徹底改變,大部分是由具有異象的的人所提出。(《改變世界的家》,173)
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十九世紀西班牙小提琴家薩拉賽特成名後,很多人都稱他為音樂天才。他卻感慨地說:「天才!這話從何說起?三十七年來,我每天要練琴十四小時,他們卻說我是天才!」 英國維多利亞女王,在接見俄國名鋼琴家帕德列夫斯基的時候,稱讚他說:「帕德列夫斯基先生,你真是位音樂天才!」他立刻回答道:「也許是的,陛下,可是在我成為天才之前,我曾經下過多少苦工。」 義大利文藝復興時期三傑之一的米開朗基羅,他曾從事多年比醫生還要精密的人體解剖研究。他先畫人類的骨架,再逐層加上肌肉、脂肪和皮膚,重複多次才能完成一幅人像。他說得同樣感慨:「假使人家知道我曾經如何辛勤工作,才能夠傑出,他們就不會覺得太奇怪了。」 我們來看一些人對「天才」的定義。愛迪生說:「天才是九十九分的努力,一分的靈感。」音樂家派德列夫斯基說:「在我成為天才之前,我曾下過苦工。」政治家漢密爾頓說:「所以我的天才只是工作的成果。」荷加斯說:「我不知道有所謂的天才,它只是勞動與勤勉而已。」 有誰料到被公認是發明天才的愛迪生,他小時候曾被認為是蠢材,又挨過老師的耳光呢?有誰料到愛因斯坦在小時候也不出色,僅有的數學天份也被老師否定掉,但後來他卻發現了相對論呢?莎士比亞在劇場做小工的時候,誰又料想到,在若干世紀後,英國會出現一句:「寧可失去印度群島,也不可失去莎士比亞」的讚嘆語呢?
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Quotes引證 :
Four or five good results does not make you a champion team. Gianluigi Buffon

No footballer is content with polishing the bench and I am no exception. Martin Petrov

Actually I kind of followed my brother, playing the piano when I was five. I cannot say that I’ve forgotten everything. I still know the basic skill, I can read and improvise. Before I went to the States , I was always criticized by my piano teacher for playing the piano in a very percussive manner, really loudly. But when I got to the States, I asked my piano teacher there whether I really played that loud and she said, ‘Not, it’s your style. Keep it, because that’s something unique to you. No one can play like you.’ And it started from there, and that’s when I really got into piano. George Chung鍾氏兄弟“The Chung Brothers – The Chimes” BC Magazine 02 July 2009

The best revenge is simply living a good life. Robert Meeropol.

Hunger is the teacher of the arts and the bestower of invention. Persius.

There is no such thing as standing still. Thomas Watson, Jr.

God save us from hotheads who would lead us foolishly, and from cold feet that would keep us from adventuring at all. Peter Marshall

一個人的頭腦可以比作一座花園,可以明智地成為有用的耕地或任由它變成野地,但無論怎樣處理,它必須,並會帶來結果。如果沒有好的種子投入,那麼無用的雜草種子會自然進到內裏,並會持續生產下去。
A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed-seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind. James Allen

你可以思考自己的問題,或者可以乾擔心,這有很大的分別。擔心是想像事情已經無法解決...去想解決方法,是透過問題找尋結論和決定;擔心使你停留在緊張狀態像不省人事似的。當你擔心,你只是原地踏步,思想如何進步,擔心停止進步。
You can think about your problems or you can worry about them, and there is a vast difference between the two. Worry is thinking that has turned toxic…Thinking works its way through problems to conclusions and decisions; worry leaves you in a state of tensely suspended animation. When you worry, you go over the same ground endlessly and come out the same place you started. Thinking makes progress from one place to another; worry remains static. Harold B. Walker

那些想唱歌的人,總會找到歌去唱。
Those who wish to sing always find a song. Swedish proverb.

The more you play, the better you get.

能進步的人不是一個不敢做太多的人,而是一個其良心不允許他做太少的人,他幹勁的願望是施予他最好的,即使有時看起來像在不屈不撓的水域抛麵包。
The person who advances is not the one who is afraid to do too much; it is the one whose conscience will not permit him to do too little, the one whose driving desire is to give the best that is in him, even though it may seem at times like casting bread upon unrelenting waters. B.C. Forbes

Life is either a great adventure or nothing. Helen Keller

避免危險,沒有安全,長遠來說,不比肝膽赤的面對它。
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold. Helen Keller

我們就像瞎子摸上一個角落 - 我們要學會信任人,否則我們將永遠不會過馬路。
We’re like blind men on a corner -- we have to learn to trust people, or we’ll never cross the street. George Foreman

你可能會失望,如果你失敗了,但你注定如果你不嘗試。
You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try. Beverly Sills

我可能不是我想做的那種人;我可能不是我應該做的人;我可能不是我可以成為的人;我可能不是我能夠成為的那種人;但讚美神,我不再是從前的我了。
I may not be the man I want to be; I may not be the man I ought to be; I may not be the man I could be; I may not be the man I can be; but praise God, I’m not the man I once was. Martin Luther King Jr.

大部份的人停止重新開始。
It is the start that stops most people

按著一個人的現狀待他,他就不會有改變。按著他人的潛力對待他,他就可以成為他該成為的人。
Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be, and he will become as he can and should be. Goethe

動力是令你開始,習慣卻是令你繼續下去。
Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. Jim Ryun

過程優於結局。塞萬提斯
The journey is better than the end. Cervantes

一個人應該有足夠大去接納過錯,夠精明從錯誤中得教訓,該有勇氣去糾正這些過錯
A person must be big enough to admit their mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.

一個不願以很長的時間失去岸上的景就沒有發現新的土地。One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. André Gide

轉換是一生工作最有效的行為。E.士丹利瓊斯
Conversion is the act of a moment and the work of a lifetime. E. Stanley Jones

永遠不會太遲去成為你應該是的角色。
It’s never too late to be what you might have been. Beverly Sills

你感到失望,如果你失敗了,但你注定失望假如你不嘗試。
You are disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try. Vince Lombardi

20年後你你會為你沒有做的事情比你做過的事情更失望。
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did. Mark Twain

你是誰是神給你的禮物,你成為誰是你給神的禮物。
Who you are is God’s gift to you, who you become is your gift to God.

Before I was a master (of the piano) I was a slave. Paderewski

You can’t have experience, you have to achieve it. Sven-Goran Erickson

Progress has little to do with speed and more to do with direction.

**********************************************************

INTELLIGENCE 聰明
二個人在熱烈談論一本書的優點。最终,他们其中一個人,他自己是作者,對另一人說:「沒有,約翰,您不可能欣賞它。您未曾寫過一本書」。
「沒有」,約翰反擊了,「我從未曾下過雞蛋,但我比起任何一隻母雞是一個煎蛋餅的好評審員」。(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)

Two men were hotly discussing the merits of a book. Finally, one of them, himself an author, said to the other: “No, John, you can’t appreciate it. You never wrote a book yourself.”

“No,” retorted John, “and I never laid an egg, but I’m a better judge of an omelet than any hen.” (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
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Jock MacTavish and two English friends went out on the loch on a fishing-trip, and it was agreed that the first man to catch a fish should later stand treat at the inn. As MacTavish was known to be the best fisherman thereabouts, his friends took considerable delight in assuring him that he had as good as lost already.

“An’, d’ye ken,” said Jock, in speaking of it afterward, “baith o’ them had a guid bite, an’ wis sae mean they wadna’ pu in.”

“Then you lost?” asked the listener.

“Oh, no. I didna’ pit ony bait on my hook.” (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
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有一個人買了一件未安裝的新小配件,然而,當他細讀和再讀那指引後仍未能裝配一起。最後,他在後院找著一位在工作中的老雜工幫忙。老傢伙執起一件件配件,細察它們,然后開始安装配件。神速地,把它們安裝妥當。「真是神奇」,那人說。「你無需要看指引也做得到呢!」
「事實如此」,老人說,「我不能夠閱讀,當一個傢伙不能閱讀時,他一定要靠思考」。
A man had bought a new gadget-unassembled, of course--and after reading and rereading the instructions he couldn’t figure out how it went together. Finally, he sought the help of an old handyman who was working in the backyard. The old fellow picked up the pieces, studied them, then began assembling the gadget. In a short time, he had it put together. “That’s amazing,” said the man. “And you did it without even looking at the instructions!”

“Fact is,” said the old man, “I can’t read, and when a fellow can’t read, he’s got to think.”

Bits and Pieces, February, 1990, p. 23.
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一天有一個人在旅館裡說,「我不會相信任何東西是我不瞭解的」。「你我也是一樣」,另一人說。「加上我」,第三人說。
「先生們」,一位靠近而坐的說,「我在今早駕車時我看見一些鵝在草坪吃草;你相信嗎?」
「當然啦」,三位聽眾中的一位說。
「我看見豬在吃草;你信嗎?」
「當然」,第三位說。
「我也看見了綿羊和母牛吃草;你相信嗎?」
「當然」,再次回復。
「很好,草轉成了鵝後面的羽毛,成了豬後面的刺毛,成了綿羊背的白羊毛,和成了母牛的頭髮;您相信那,先生們?」
「一定」,他們回答。
「但是你瞭解它嗎?」

“I will not believe anything that I do not understand,” said a man in a hotel one day. “Neither will I,” said another. “Nor will I,” said a third.
“Gentlemen,” said one who sat close by, “on my ride this morning I saw some geese in a field eating grass; do you believe that?”
“Certainly,” said one of the 3 listeners.
“I saw the pigs eating grass; do you believe that?”
“Of course,” Said the 3.
“I also saw sheep and cows eating grass; do you believe that?”
“Of course,” was again the reply.
“Well, the grass turned to feathers on the backs of the geese, to bristles on the backs of the swine, to white wool on the sheep, and to hair on the cow; do you believe that, gentlemen?”
“Certainly,” they replied.
“But do you understand it?”
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比爾、傑米和史考特一起參加一個研習會,而且他們一起住在一個位於75層樓高大樓頂端的大房間。經過一整天漫長的會議後,他們非常震驚地聽到大樓的電梯壞了,他們必須要爬75層樓才能回到自己的房間。比爾對傑米和史考特說:『讓我們專注在一些有趣的事上,來打破這個不愉快事件所帶來的無聊。前25層樓,我來說笑話。接下來的25層樓,傑米可以唱歌。史考特在剩餘的路程可以講悲傷的故事』在第26層樓,比爾停止說笑話,然後傑米開始唱歌。在第51層樓的時候,傑米停止唱歌,史考特開始講悲傷的故事。『首先,我要跟大家講一個我最悲傷的故事』他說,『我把房間鑰匙留在車子裡了!』於是他們安靜地繼續走,終於,八十樓到了!到了家門口,哥哥擺出了一個很帥的姿勢:「弟弟,開門!」,弟弟說:「別鬧了!鑰匙不是在你那兒嗎?」
Bill, Jim & Scott were at a convention together & were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper.After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken & they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.Bill said to Jim & Scott, “Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for the next 25 flights and Scott can tell sad stories for the rest of the way.”At the 26th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes & Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing & Scott began to tell sad stories.”I will tell my saddest story first,” he said. “I left the room key in the car!!!”
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丹尼開車經過一間精神病院時,他的一個輪胎爆胎了。當他正在換備胎時,另一輛車經過,不小心壓到他放鎖輪胎的螺絲的容器,把螺絲都撞飛到旁邊的水溝裡了。

當他正在不知所措時,在想要不要去精神病院借電話時。精神病院中的一個病患在籬笆的另一邊看著這一切,就告訴Danny:「你可以把你另外3個輪胎都拆下一個螺絲,先把備胎裝起來,在慢慢開到這附近的修車廠啊」

Danny起先很訝異這位病人的邏輯,在發現這方法真的可行後,他忍不住問那位精神病人:「嘿!你頭腦不錯啊!為什麼他們把你關在這裡呢?」

那位病人微笑著說:「我被關在這裡,不是因為我笨,是因為我是瘋子!」
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有一位顧客到寵物店要買一隻鸚鵡,看見有一隻鸚鵡,左腿有紅色的帶子綁住;右腿有綠色的帶子綁住,於就問老闆為什麼要這樣做?於是老闆回答說:「這是一隻高智慧的鸚鵡,當你拉紅帶子,鸚鵡就會講法文;拉綠帶子,鸚鵡就會講德文!」於是顧客就問:「如果我兩個帶子都一起拉呢?」
沒有想到,鸚鵡卻回答:「你這個笨蛋,這樣我就跌落,掉下去了!」
This guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings. “Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German,” replies the shop keeper. “And what happens if I pull both the strings?” our curious shopper inquires. “I fall off my perch you fool!!” screeches the parrot.
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二個律師一起去一家餐廳,他們點了飲料後,就各從自己的手提箱中拿出一個三明治準備要吃。此時,餐廳老闆急忙走過來,不高興的對他們說:「你們不可以在這裡吃自己的三明治!」

二個律師彼此對看一下,聳聳肩,彼此交換了三明治吃了。
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這是在1995 年10月, 美國軍艦與加拿大邊防在離紐芬蘭的附近沿海的一次實際無線電交談的紀錄抄本。無線電交談紀錄由海軍行動處長在1995年10月10日公開於眾:
美國軍艦: 將您的路線轉北15 度為避免碰撞。
加拿大這邊: 建議您將您的路線向南轉變15 度為避免碰撞。

美國軍艦: 我是美國軍艦的上尉。我再說一次, 轉變你的航向。
加拿大這邊: 我再說一次, 請轉變你的航向。

美國軍艦: 這是航空母艦USS 林肯號, 是美國大西洋艦隊中第二大艦支,並且我們由三艘驅逐艦、三個巡洋艦和許多其他的船群伴隨。我再次要求, 請您改變您的路線15 度向北, 否則你們將自行承擔你們的安全!!!
加拿大這邊: 不過, 我們這裡是燈塔。。。, 你說該怎樣吧!

This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US navy ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.

Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision

Americans: This is the Captain of US Navy Ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No....I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE, FIVE DEGREES NORTH,OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse.....your call.
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有一個魔術師有一個在遊輪上的工作,就是當遊輪在海上的時期,在船上作秀。這艘船的船長有一隻寵物鸚鵡;他非常愛這隻鸚鵡並且很寵它,經常滿足它。這只特別的鸚鵡有一種習慣,就是每次魔術師作秀的時候,它都要去。

過了一會兒,鸚鵡開始告訴聽眾這些魔術戲法是怎樣做出來的。例如 「查他的袖子,呱!」 或者是 「箱子的底部是假的,呱!」 沒什麼特別的,人們認為這是喜劇的秀。這激怒了魔術師,因為他是非常認真地對待他的工作。 不過,這鸚鵡有隊長的支持,他沒有辦法對它做什麼。

在夜晚,船下沉了,並且魔術師發現他自己纏在一塊小的殘骸上。你知道的,鸚鵡正與他在殘骸上在那裡棲息。在2天的寂靜之後,鸚鵡說「呱! 我放棄。你到底對船做了些什麼? 」

A magician had a job on a cruise ship doing his act for the customers during at sea periods. The captain of this particular ship had a pet parrot; he loved the parrot and spoiled it, catering to it constantly. This particular parrot had a habit of going to the magician's act every time he performed it.

After a while, the parrot began to tell the audience how the tricks were done. Comments like “Look up his sleeve, awrk!”, and “There's a false bottom in the trunk, awrk!” became common place, so that the people thought the team were a comedy act. This infuriated the magician, as he took his job very seriously. However, as the parrot had the captain's favor, he was at a loss of what to do about it.

One night, the ship sank, and the magician found himself clinging to a small piece of wreckage. Wouldn't you know it, the parrot was perching there on the wreckage with him. After 2 days of silence, the parrot says “OK, I give up. What did you do with the ship?”
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英國名劇作家蕭伯納與美國現代舞舞蹈家鄧肯都是本世紀初享譽全球的

大人物。他們兩人都未婚,同樣自信而又一生傲骨,於是就有好事者千方百計的想撮合他們,許多劇迷與舞迷也紛紛來函,盛讚他們是天作之合。

有一次他們兩個見面了,鄧肯對蕭伯納說:「不如我們就應觀眾要求結婚吧!生一個孩子,擁有我的美貌加上你的才智。那不是太棒了嗎!」

「女士,那真是太好了,但萬一將來生下來的孩子遺傳了你的才智,而擁有我的外貌,怎麼辦呢?」蕭伯納笑答。
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法國國王路易十一世有一個愛妾,被某個預言家說中,會在某時刻死亡,沒想到她真的在那時辰死了。路易十一世非常生氣,把他抓了起來,並且判以死刑。當衛士們把他帶到國王面前時,國王問他:「你不是算的很準嗎?現在就為你自己算算看,到底什麼時候會死。」預言家早就有備而來,識破了國王的企圖,只見他不慌不忙的回答說:「我早已經算過了,我會比你早三天死。」國王大吃一驚,心中驚慌起來,不但立刻放了他,還特別派人小心伺候他。預言家從此錦衣玉食,直至終老。因為路易十一世寧可信其有,不願信其無。
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蘇格拉底是希臘時代最有名的哲學家,有「西方的孔子」美譽。

他有一個最為人所熟知的美德,就是忍耐。不僅對他的悍妻百般忍耐,就是對不相識的人也重不與計較。

有一次他和朋友一起到街上散步。突然有個年輕人不知從哪裡冒出來,手中拿了一根棍棒,打了他後拔腿就跑。

他的朋友見狀立刻就追了出去,但卻被蘇格拉底給攔了下來。

「為什麼不讓我去抓他?難道你怕了他不成?」他的朋友不解的問。

此時蘇格拉底一邊揉著傷處,一邊笑笑的回答說:「老朋友,如果一頭驢踢了你,難道你要踢還牠嗎?何必跟驢一般見識呢?」

他的朋友點點頭,兩人相視大笑而去。
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甲乙二人在聊天 ...
甲:「我家的狗實在是太聰明了,每天早上都會銜當天的報紙來給我。」

乙:「這沒什麼,很多人家的狗都會這樣。」

甲:「可是我們家沒訂報紙啊!」
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有兩個鄉下人到城裡去尋找發財的機會。其中一個比較機靈,一個比較頑固。

他們兩個走著走著,到了城裡一處剛被火焚燒的地區,發現一些沒有被燒毀的羊毛,他們就儘量地把羊毛捆好,能拿多少就拿多少。

路上,他們又看到一些布匹。機靈的那人就立刻把羊毛換了布,頑固的那一個卻說:「好好的羊毛不是很好嗎?為什麼要換?」他還是背著他的羊毛,一點布也沒拿。

他們又往前走,看到路上有人在賣衣服。機靈的那人立刻又把布換成了衣服,頑固的那人了呢?還是覺得把羊毛換了太可惜,依然不肯換。

之後,他們又看到了銀色餐具。聰明的那人又換了,而那個頑固的人還是辛苦地背著原先那紮得牢牢的羊毛,又重又熱,雖然他心裡也有一點動心。

後來,他們經過金店,機靈的那人立刻就把自己的銀餐具換成了金子,而頑固的那人還是捨不得放下的羊毛來換金子。

最後,他們在路上遇上了大雨,把全部的羊毛都淋得濕透。這時那頑固的人才不得不把它丟掉,空手而回。而那個機靈的人不僅愈走愈輕鬆,最後還因為得了金子而發了一筆小財
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Quotes引證 :
知識是知道一件事實,智慧是知道用那件事實可做什麼事。
Knowledge is knowing a fact. Wisdom is knowing what to do with that fact.

即使你把一個笨蛋打到死,你也無法把他的愚性打出來。
Even you beat a fool to death, you cannot beat the foolishness out of him.

心靈像降落傘,只有在張開時才發揮作用
Minds are like parachutes. They function only when they are open.

判斷是加強我們的經驗。
Judgment is forced upon us by experience. (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)

我可以對事情轉換個角度來看,只有愚蠢的人從來不會轉個彎。(法比奧卡佩羅)
I can change my mind about things and only stupid people never change their mind. Fabio Capello

假如5000萬人說著愚蠢的事,它仍然是一件愚蠢的事。(法朗士)
If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. Anatole France

只有兩件事是無窮無盡,宇宙和人類的愚蠢,然而前者我不確定。 (亞伯.愛因斯坦)
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

我反覆想了幾個月或幾年,那九十九次的結論是錯的,但第一百次是對的。(亞伯.愛因斯坦)
I think and think for months and years, ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false.
The hundredth time I am right. Albert Einstein

假如你能不假思索地想到一些相關的事項,那麼你有規範條理的心思。
If you can think of something which is connected with something without thinking of the something it is connected to, then you have a legal mind.

探索包含正在發現和過去已發現過的一切事物,甚至還沒有人想過的。
Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought. Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

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KINDNESS 仁慈
It is said that long ago there lived a saint so good that the angels came down to see how a mortal could be so godly. He went about his daily work diffusing virtue as a star diffuses light, as a flower emits perfume, without being aware of it. Two words told the story of his days—he gave; he forgave. Yet these words never fell from lips; they were only expressed by his smile, in his forbearance and charity. The angels asked God that the gift of miracles might be given to this good man. The answer was, “Yes; ask him what he wishes.” So the angels spoke to him about it. Would he choose that the touch of his hand should heal the sick? He said, no, that he would rather God should do that. Would he have power to convert souls? He answered, no, that it was the Holy Spirit's work. What, then, did he desire? He said, “That God may give me His grace.” When pressed further to give the particular power he would have, he replied, “That I may do a great deal of good without ever knowing it.” Then it was decided that every time the saint's shadow should fall behind or on either side, so that he could not see it, it should have the power to cure disease, soothe pain, and comfort sorrow. Thus it came to pass that, falling thus out of his sight, his shadow made withered plants grow again, and fading flowers sweet, gave health to pale children and joy to unhappy mothers. But the saint was never aware of the blessings that flowed from him. And the people, respecting his humility, even forgot his name and spoke of him as the Holy Shadow. How different this dear saint was from some of the present-day leaders in our religious circles whose names almost overshadow the name of Him whom they preach. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 379)
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John Wesley and a preacher of his acquaintance were once invited to lunch with a gentleman after the service. Wesley's preacher friend was a man of very blunt speech. This well-meaning man, while talking with their host's beautiful daughter, who had been profoundly impressed by Wesley's preaching, noticed that she wore a number of rings. During a pause in the meal he took hold of the young lady's hand and raising it, called Wesley's attention to the sparkling gems. “What do you think of this, sir,” he asked, “for a Methodist hand?” The girl turned crimson. The question was extremely awkward for Wesley whose aversion to all display of jewelry was well known. With a quiet, benevolent smile he looked up and simply said, “The hand is very beautiful.” He had not denied the implied rebuke but had taken the sting out of it. The young lady appeared at evening worship without her jewels and became a firm and dedicated Christian. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 333)
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John Wesley once had for a fellow-passenger in a coach an officer who was intelligent and agreeable in conversation; but there was one serious drawback—his profanity. When they changed vehicles, Wesley took the officer aside, and after expressing the pleasure he had enjoyed in his company, said he had a great favor to ask him. The young officer replied, “I will take great pleasure in obliging you for I am sure you will not make an unreasonable request.” “Then,” said Wesley, “as we have to travel together some distance I beg that, if I should so forget myself and swear, you will kindly reprove me.” The officer immediately saw the motive, felt the force of the request and smiling said, “None but Mr. Wesley could have conceived a reproof in such a manner.” It worked like a charm. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 334)
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A United States President asked a certain general a question about another officer. Overhearing his reply which praised the officer, a friend approached him afterwards and said, “General, do you know that the man of whom you spoke is one of your most bitter enemies and misses no opportunity to malign you?” “Yes,” replied the officer, “but the President asked my opinion of him; he did not ask for his opinion of me.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 336)
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A Quaker had a bundle of hides stolen from his warehouse. He wondered what steps he should take to prevent a repetition of such an act. Instead of putting the machinery of the law in motion, he placed the following ad in the newspapers: “Whoever stole a quantity of hides on the 5 th of this month is hereby informed that the owner has a sincere wish to be his friend. If poverty tempted him to take this step, the owner will keep the whole transaction secret and will gladly help him to obtain money by means more likely to bring him peace of mind.”

A few nights later, when the family was about to retire to rest, a man knocked at the door of the Quaker's house, carrying with him a bundle of skins. “I have brought them back,” he said. “It is the first time I ever stole anything, and I have felt very bad about it.” “Let it be the last, friend.” said the Quaker. “The secret still lies between ourselves.” He spoke to the man faithfully and affectionately about the folly of dishonesty and of the claims of the gospel. He also took him into his employment, and the man became a changed character, living an exemplary life from then on. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 338)
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A story is told of Peter Miller, a plain Baptist preacher living in Ephrata, Pennsylvania in the days of the Revolutionary War. Near his church lived a man who maligned the pastor to the last degree. The man became involved in treason and was arrested and sentenced to be hanged. The preacher started out on foot and walked the all seventy miles to Philadelphia to plead for the man's life. Washington heard his plea, but he said, “No, your plea for your friend cannot be granted.” “My friend!” said the preacher. “He is the worst enemy I have.” “What!” said Washington, “you have walked nearly seventy miles to save the life of an enemy? That puts the matter in a different light. I will grant the pardon.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 339)
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在我進入護士學校的第二個月,我的教授給了我們一個突擊小考。因為我是個很認真的學生,所以仔細讀過所有的考題,直到讀了最後一題:「請問校內那位負責打掃的婦人的名字為何?」這當然是個玩笑題目,我有見過那位負責打掃的婦人好幾次,她個子很高、頭髮是黑色的、年紀約五十多,但是我怎能記得她的名字呢?我把考卷交了,但是留下最後一題的答案沒有填。下課前,有一個學生問教授:是否最後一題會算分?教授回答說:「在你的生涯中,你會遇見許多人,每個人都很重要,都值得你的注意和關心,即使你只是給予一個微笑和招呼。」我永遠都不會忘記那次的上課,我也學到了那位負責打掃的婦人的名字叫做—桃樂絲。

During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: ‘What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?” Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. Absolutely, said the professor. “In your careers you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello”.
I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was -- Dorothy.
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Quotes引證 :
The doctrines of grace humble a man without degrading him and exalt him without inflating him. Charles Hodge(from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 455)

Kindness does not require us to be blind to facts or to live in fancies, but it does require us to cherish a habit of goodwill, ready to show pity if sorrow appears, and slow to turn away even if hostility appears. Alexander Maclaren (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 425)

Politeness is the art of getting what you want.

Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength. Francis de Sales.

When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people. Abraham Heschel

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain

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KNOWLEDGE 知識
A student of ancient Greek in an English university surprised his teacher by his rapid grasp of the subject. When asked if someone were helping him, he mentioned his uncle. The professor said he’d like to meet him, and a date was set. The teacher was astounded with the uncle’s knowledge of Greek. “What work do you do?” he asked. “I’m an itinerant preacher. I preach God’s Word.” Dismayed that such a gifted man should waste his time preaching, the professor blurted out, “Man, you’re a fool!” The wise preacher retorted, “In which world, Professor?” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 578)
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「很高興見到你!」有一位學院學生的家長熱情的握著教授的手說:「去年我兒子從你哪兒拿了代數學!」「對不起!」教授回說:「他暴露在代數下,並沒有拿到什麼阿!」

“I am delighted to meet you,” said the father of the college student, shaking hands warmly with the professor. “My son took algebra from you last year, you know.”

“Pardon me,” said the professor, “he was exposed to it, but he did not take it.” (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
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有一位傘兵初學者從飛機跳出來並拉開翼弦啟動器。結果什麼都沒發生,他再拉一次。當他快速朝著地面掉落時,俯視看見有一個人從地面向他投擲東西。「天阿!」傘兵大叫說:「你知道什麼是降落傘嗎?」「不知道!」地上那人回說:「你知道什麼是瓦斯爐嗎?」

A novice parachutist jumps from the plane and pulls the release chord. When nothing happens, he pulls it again. Dropping rapidly toward the ground, he looks down and sees a man from the ground hurtling toward him.
“My savior,” the parachutist yells. “Do you know anything about parachutes?”
“No,” comes the reply. “Do you know anything about gas stoves?” (Los Angeles Times 5/17/94).
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有一位年輕人想應徵摩斯電碼傳譯員的工作,就照著報紙上的應徵廣告的地址前往面試。當他抵達面試的地點時,發現那是一間很大又吵雜的辦公室,同時也夾雜著傳送電報的嗶剝聲,而接待員的櫃檯也有說明,告訴應徵者如何填寫表格、並等候廣播以進入裡面辦公室參加面試。
這位年輕人便依照指示將表格填寫好,與其他七位應徵者一同坐著等候通知。
幾分鐘之後,年輕人突然起身,穿過大廳,走到對面辦公室大門,直接就進入裡面,其他應徵者見狀便開始議論紛紛,很想知道到底是發生了什麼事。為何這位年輕人如此勇敢?他們彼此嘀咕著,為何還沒有聽到任何廣播召喚的聲音,他們甚至還慶幸自己沒有像這位年輕人般莽撞地進入辦公室,甚至揣測這位年輕人可能會因此而遭受指責、失去工作的機會。
幾分鐘之後,這位年輕人由面試官陪伴著從裡面的辦公室走出來,面試官向其他應徵者宣佈:「謝謝你們來參加面試,但是這個工作機會已經給了這位年輕人了。」
於是,其他應徵者開始彼此抱怨,有一個人便開口說道:「等一下,我不懂,他是最後一位進來的,而我們當中沒有一個人得到面談的機會,但他卻得到這個工作機會,這實在是不公平。」
雇主回答說:「當你們還坐在那裡的時候,那電報機已經開始嗶剝傳送訊息給各位,告訴你們:『當你一聽到這個訊息,請趕快進入辦公室,這個工作機會就是你的了。』」

A young man who applied for a job as a Morse code operator. Answering an ad in the newspaper, he went to the address that was listed. When he arrived, he entered a large, noisy office. In the background a telegraph clacked away. A sign on the receptionist’s counter instructed job applicants to fill out a form and wait until they were summoned to enter the inner office.
The young man completed his form and sat down with seven other waiting applicants. After a few minutes, the young man stood up, crossed the room to the door of the inner office, and walked right in. Naturally the other applicants perked up, wondering what was going on. Why had this man been so bold? They muttered among themselves that they hadn’t heard any summons yet. They took more than a little satisfaction in assuming the young man who went into the office would be reprimanded for his presumption and summarily disqualified for the job.
Within a few minutes the young man emerged from the inner office escorted by the interviewer, who announced to the other applicants, “Gentlemen, thank you very much for coming, but the job has been filled by this young man.”
The other applicants began grumbling to each other, and then one spoke up, “Wait a minute--I don’t understand. He was the last one to come in, and we never even got a chance to be interviewed. Yet he got the job. That’s not fair.”
The employer responded, “While you have sat there the telegraph has been ticking out the following message: “If you understand this message, then come right in. The job is yours.”
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有一天福特汽車工廠的機器突然不會動了,老板亨利福特馬上叫他一個機械專家的朋友,來工廠看一看,到底出了什麼問題。結果他一來,到處敲敲、打打,並在一個地方換了兩個螺絲釘,機器馬上就動起來。亨利福特總算鬆了一口氣,就請朋友把帳單寄給他,他想:動一動手,換個螺絲釘應該不會跟他收錢的,何況他們又是很好的朋友。結果收到帳單時,亨利福特嚇了一跳,竟然是美金一萬元。他馬上打電話問他的朋友:你用的是什麼螺絲,為什麼這麼貴呢?他的朋友說:螺絲價值三元,知道要在哪裡敲一敲、打一打,再換上新的螺絲的知識,價值九千九百九十七元,你若嫌螺絲太貴,那就收取知識的費用就好了。亨利福特聽了以後,一句話沒說,馬上就開給他朋友一萬元的支票。
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Quotes引證 :
Life is not so short but that there is always time enough for courtesy. Emerson.

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius. H. W. Shaw.

There is only one thing about which I am certain, and that is that there is very little about which one can be certain. W. Somerset Maugham.

You can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something. Live and Learn

When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people. Abraham Heschel

























































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