COMMUNICATION 溝通
Xanthus, the philosopher, once told his servant that the next day he was going to have some friends for dinner and that he should get the best thing he could find in the market. The philosopher and his guests sat down the next day at the table. They had nothing but tongue—four or five courses of tongue—tongue cooked in this way, and tongue cooked in that way. The philosopher finally lost his patience and said to his servant, “Didn’t I tell you to get the best thing in the market?” The servant said, “I did get the best thing in the market. Isn’t the tongue the organ of sociability, the organ of eloquence, the organ of kindness, the organ of worship?” Then Xanthus the philosopher said, “Tomorrow I want you to get the worst thing in the market.” And on the morrow the philosopher sat at the table, and there was nothing there but tongue—four or five courses of tongue—tongue in this shape and tongue in that shape. The philosopher again lost his patience and said, “Didn’t I tell you to get the worst thing in the market?” The servant replied, “I did; for isn’t the tongue the organ of blasphemy, the organ of defamation, the organ of lying?” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 819)
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Once a young man came to that great philosopher Socrates to be instructed in oratory. The moment the young man was introduced he began to talk, and there was an incessant stream for some time. When Socrates could get in a word, he said, “Young man, I will have to charge you a double fee.” “A double fee, why is that?” The old sage replied, “I will have to teach you two lessons. First, how to hold your tongue, and then how to use it.” What an art for all of us to learn, especially for Christians. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 821)
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John Wesley’s preaching was marked by his constant use of the plainest, simplest words our language affords. Writing to one whose style was very high-sounding he said, “When I had been a member of the university about ten years I wrote and talked much as you do now, but when I talked to plain people, I observed that they gaped and stared. This quickly obliged me to alter my style and adopt the language of those I spoke to; and yet there is a dignity in this simplicity which is not disagreeable to those of the highest rank.” Another preacher said, “If you preach so that the simplest person in the audience can understand you, the most educated is also sure to get the message.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 534)
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A minister felt that the words he spoke from Sunday to Sunday were not bearing the fruit they should. One Saturday morning after he had finished writing his sermon, the thought occurred to him, “Perhaps I shoot too high. I will go down and see if Betty can understand it.” Betty was a trusted kitchen helper. He went to the kitchen and called her to come and hear his sermon. She hesitated but came when he insisted. After he had read a few sentences he asked, “Do you understand that?” “No,” she replied. He repeated the idea in simpler language and then asked her if she saw it. “I see it a little,” she said. Again he simplified it. She saw it more clearly and showed deep interest but said to him, “Plane it down a little more.” And once again he simplified it. Then she exclaimed with ecstasy, “Now I see it! Now I understand it!” He returned to his study and rewrote his sermon in the simple style that Betty could understand. On Sunday morning he went to church in fear and trembling lest his people should be contemptuous of his sermon but he fully resolved to try the experiment. To his surprise, he found he received better attention than ever before, and there were tears in the eyes of many of his congregation. From that time on, he changed his style of language and had no further cause to feel that his work was unsuccessful. Clarity of thought and expression do not rob our testimony of its depth and significance. A witness for Christ need never fear oversimplification. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 535)
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That forthright English clergyman, Dr. R. W. Dale, made this response to a young preacher who insisted that ministers must preach relevantly, to the times. “Young man, don’t preach to the times. Go and preach to broken hearts and you will preach relevantly.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 535)
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At the close of a service, a preacher was stopped by a gentleman who, after conceding that the sermon possessed certain commendable features, added, “But it had one noticeable defect!” The startled minister, on inquiring what this defect was, received the following reply: “I am a Jew. I have only recently been born again. Up to that time I attended the synagogue. But there was really nothing in your sermon that I could not have heard in the synagogue, nothing that a Jewish rabbi might not have preached.” “That,” said the preacher in later years, “was the greatest lesson in homiletics I was ever taught.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 538)
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Once that great Puritan preacher, Thomas Manton, had to speak before the Lord Mayor and Aldermen of London. He chose a subject in which he had an opportunity of displaying his learning and judgment. He was heard with admiration by the intelligent part of his audience, but as he was returning from dinner with the Lord Mayor, a poor man pulled him by the sleeve and asked if he were the gentleman that preached the sermon. He replied that he was. “Sir,” said the man, “I came with the hopes of getting some good to my soul, but I was greatly disappointed, for I could not get a great deal of what you said; you were quite above my understanding.” “Friend,” said Dr. Manton, “if I have not given you a sermon, you have given me one. By the grace of God, I will not play the fool in such a manner again.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 539)
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Someone told G. Campbell Morgan that the preacher must catch the spirit of the age. Immediately this great preacher answered, “God forgive the preacher who does that. The preacher’s business is to correct the spirit of the age.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 540)
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James Inglis was a graduate of Edinburgh University, learned and eloquent. He became the most popular preacher in Detroit, Michigan. Eager listeners filled his church to overflowing. One day, when he was preparing sermons for the following Sunday, it seemed as though a voice said to him, “James Inglis, whom are you preaching?” Startled, he answered, “I am preaching good theology.” “I did not ask what you are preaching, but whom you are preaching.” Inglis answered, “I am preaching the gospel.” Again the voice said, “I did not ask you what you are preaching; I asked whom you are preaching.” Silent, with bowed head, the preacher sat for a long time. Then rousing himself he cried, “O my God, I am preaching James Inglis, but henceforth I will preach Christ and Him crucified.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 541)
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“My dear boy,” said a father, “take a word of advice from an old man who loves peace. An insult is like mud; it will brush off much better when it is dry. Wait a little till you both are cool; then the broken relationship will be easily mended. If you go now, it will be only to quarrel.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 481)
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Some people are like the man who said he was afraid he was going to be of no use in the world because he had only one talent. “Oh, that need not discourage you,” said his pastor. “What is your talent?” “The talent of judging others, of criticism.” “Well, I advise you,” said his pastor, “to do with it what the man of one talent did with his, bury it. Criticism may be useful when mixed with other talents, but those whose only activity is to criticize the workers might as well be buried, talent and all.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 414)
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Let us not be like that man who is always quick to judge his fellowmen: If he is poor, he is a bad manager. If he is rich, he is dishonest. If he needs credit, he can’t get it. If he is prosperous, everyone wants a favor from him. If he’s in politics, it’s for pie. If he is out of politics, you can’t place him, and he’s no good for his country. If he doesn’t give to charity, he’s stingy. If he does, it’s for show. If he is actively religious, he is a hypocrite. If he takes no interest in religion, he’s a hardened sinner. If he shows affection, he’s a soft specimen. If he seems to care for no one, he’s cold-blooded. If he dies young, there was a great future ahead of him. If he lives to an old age, he has missed his calling. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 415)
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Many critical Christians are like that Persian youth who was very meticulous about his religious duties. He would rise up in the middle of the night to watch, pray, and read the Koran. One night as he was engaged in these exercises his father, a man of practical virtue, awoke while his son was reading. “Behold,” the religious youth said to his father, “thy other children are lost in irreligious slumber, while I alone wake to praise God.” “Son of my soul,” the wise father answered, “it is better to sleep than to awake to notice the faults of thy brothers!” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 419)
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The story is told of a man and an angel who were walking along together. The man was complaining about his neighbors. “I never saw such a wretched set of people,” he said, “as are in this village. They are mean, greedy, selfish, and careless of the needs of others. Worst of all, they are forever speaking evil of one another.” “Is it really so?” asked the angel. “It is, indeed,” said the man. “Why, only look at this fellow coming toward us! I know his face, though I cannot remember his name. See his little shark-like, cruel eyes, darting here and there like a ferret's, and the lines of hardness about his mouth! The very droop of his shoulders is mean and cringing, and he slinks along instead of walking.” “It is very clever of you to see all this,” said the angel, “but there is one thing that you did not perceive—that is a mirror we are approaching.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 149)
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最近收到朋友的電郵，提到一個關於垃圾車的人生哲理，意譯如下。 一天我乘的士到機場，途中停在右邊泊車位的黑色車子突然駛出，幸而的士司機及時煞車，避過碰撞。黑色車的司機回頭向我們怒吼，而那位的士司機只是友善地對他笑了笑。我覺得奇怪，問的士司機為何那麼輕易放過那位司機，他便告訴我「垃圾車理論」：「世上很多人就像垃圾車一樣，心中充滿垃圾、挫折感和失望。當他們的垃圾愈積愈多而需要發泄時，就只會將這些垃圾倒向身邊的人。所以，不要將垃圾都扛到自己身上，當遇到這些事情時，嘗試微笑、揮揮手、祝他們一切安好，然後繼續走自己的路。請謹記，不要接收他們的垃圾，然後傳到工作、家庭或街上的人。」這個理論的重點是：生命苦短，不要讓垃圾充塞生活，令自己早上醒來時，總是充滿後悔。王維基, 站出來澄清的衝動 2009-01-09 http://www.hkheadline.com/dailynews/headline_news_detail_columnist.asp?id=68592§ion_name=wtt&kw=%B0%F2%AB%E4more%A4H%A1X%A1X%AF%B8%A5X%A8%D3%BC%E1%B2M%AA%BA%BD%C4%B0%CA
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William Lyon Phelps, professor of English Literature at Yale, declares he gets credit for only 25 per cent of the after-dinner speeches he actually makes. “Every time I accept an invitation to speak, I really make four addresses. First, is the speech I prepare in advance. That is pretty good. Second, is the speech I really make. Third, is the speech I make on the way home, which is the best of all; and fourth, is the speech the newspapers next morning say I made, which bears no relation to any of the others.” (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
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“Sir,” screeched the wild-haired man, “are you opposed to free speech?”
“Not unless I am compelled to listen to it,” replied old Festus Pester.
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
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"I believe in free speech!” exclaimed the vociferous man.
“So do I,” rejoined Uncle Bill Bottletop; “so do I. But in one respect free speech reminds me of the free lunch in the old days. You hate to see a man making a pig of himself just because something’s free.”
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
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有三位牧師前往牧師會議室，在那裡一起分享。第一位說：「讓我們彼此為個人隱私的惡習來認罪吧！我先開始：我隱私的惡習是沈溺賭博當中。當我出了城外，所有機器響起cha-ching cha-ching聲音來。」第二位說：「我個人隱藏的惡習是我耽溺飲酒。當我出到城外，」我喜歡拿起一小杯品嚐一番。」第三位說：「我隱藏的惡習是說閒話，我迫不及待離開這裡了！」
Three pastors went to the pastor’s convention and were all sharing one room.
The first pastor said, “Let’s confess our secret vices one to another. I’ll start - my secret vice is I just love to gamble. When I go out of town, it’s cha-ching cha-ching, let the machines ring.”
The second pastor said, “My secret vice is that I just love to drink. When I go out of town, I like to take a little nip of something.”
The third pastor said, “My secret vice is gossiping and I can’t wait to get out of this room!”
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有一次音樂老師問他班上學生「傾聽」和「聽見」有何差異。一開始鴉雀無聲，最後坐在後面的一位學生舉手給予聰明的定義：「傾聽就是正想要聽！」
A music teacher once asked her class what is the difference between listening and hearing. At first there was no response. Finally a hand went up at the back of the class and one of the young people offered this wise definition: “Listening is wanting to hear!”
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According to Albert Mehrabian, these three elements account differently for our liking for the person who puts forward the message: words account for 7%, tone of voice accounts for 38%, and body language accounts for 55% of the liking. They are often abbreviated as the “3 Vs” for Verbal, Vocal & Visual.
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Ability of speech in time and season is an especial gift of God, and that eminently with respect unto the spiritual things of the Gospel; but a profluency of speech, venting itself on all occasions and on no occasions, making men open their mouths wide when indeed they should shut them and open their ears, and to pour out all that they know and ... what they do not know, making them angry if they are not heard and impatient if they are contradicted, is an unconquerable fortification against all true spiritual wisdom. John Owen
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一個主日早上，牧師傳講了一篇有關屬靈恩賜的講章。散會後，一位姐妹在門口對他說：牧師，我想我有批評人的恩賜。牧師看著她，對她說：你是否還記得在耶穌的比喻中，那位只有一個恩賜的人？這位姐妹點點頭。你還記得他做了什麽嗎？記得，姐妹囘答說：他出去將它埋在土裏。牧師建議說：那你就去如此行吧！
One Sunday morning the minister preached a sermon on spiritual gifts. After the service, he was greeted at the door by a lady, who said, “Pastor, I believe I have the gift of criticism.” The pastor looked at her and asked, “Do you remember the person in Jesus’ parable who had one talent?” The woman nodded her head. “Do you recall what he did with it?” “Yes,” replied the lady, “he went out and buried it.” The pastor suggested, “Go, thou, and do likewise!”
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有一次，有一個國王夢見他的牙齒全掉了。他立刻把他其中一位 叫來為他解夢。用一個很悲哀的口吻告訴王，夢的意思是王所有的親戚都會同時去世，撇下他一個人。王聼了很生氣地把 趕走。另外一個 進來為王解夢。這位有智慧的 說：王啊！您當喜樂，夢的意思是您會再活很多年。其實，您會比您的親戚更長命。王聼了很高興，就厚厚地獎賞這位 。這兩個人用不同的方法詞句說了同樣的内容。
Once a king dreamed that all his teeth had fallen out. Immediately he sent for one of his soothsayers to interpret the meaning of his vision. With a sad countenance and mournful voice, the soothsayer told the monarch that the dream meant that all his relatives would die and that he would be left alone. This angered the king and he drove the servant from his presence.
Another was called and the king told him of the dream. At this, the wise man smiled, and replied, “Rejoice, O King; the dream means that you will live yet many years. In fact you will outlive all your relatives.” This pleased the king a great deal, and in his joy he gave the interpreter a rich reward. The two men had said, in different ways, the same thing - Clyde N. Parker (Tan #6334)
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An American Indian was in downtown New York, walking with his friend who lived in New York. Suddenly he said, “I hear a cricket.”
Oh, you’re crazy,” his friend replied.
“No, I hear a cricket. I do! I’m sure of it.”
“It’s the noon hour. There are people bustling around, cars honking, taxis squealing, noises from the city. I’m sure you can’t hear it.”
“I’m sure I do.” He listened attentively and then walked to the corner, across the street, and looked all around. Finally on the corner he found a shrub in a large cement planter. He dug beneath the leaves and found a cricket. His friend was astounded. But the Cherokee said, “No. My ears are no different from yours. It simply depends on what you are listening to. Here, let me show you.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of change- a few quarters, some dimes, nickels, and pennies. And he dropped it on the concrete. Every head within a block turned. You see what I mean?” he said as he began picking up his coins. “It all depends on what you are listening for.” (Illustrations for Preaching and Teaching: From Leadership Journal # 225 1993/Christianity Today/Baker Book House)
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在英文中，六個重要的字是：我承認我錯了！
在英文中，五個重要的字是：你做的很好。
在英文中，四個重要的字是：你的看法如何？
在英文中，三個重要的字是：麻煩你。
在英文中，兩個重要的字是：謝謝你。
在英文中，一個重要的字是：我們。
在英文中，最不重要的字是：我。
Important Words
The six most important words in the English language are:
“I admit I made a mistake.”
The five most important words in the English language are:
“You did a good job.”
The four most important words in the English language are:
“What is your opinion?”
The three most important words in the English language are:
“If you please.”
The two most important words in the English language are:
“Thank you.”
The one most important word in the English language is:
“We.”
The least important word in the English language is:
“I.”
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一位在婚姻上面臨挫折者向他的師傅請教。師傅說：你應該學習聼你太太所講的話。此人接受師傅的教導。一個月後他回來告訴師傅，他已經學會傾聽太太所講的每一句話。師傅笑笑地說：現在你回去注意聼她所沒說的每一句話。
When a man whose marriage was in trouble sought his advice, the Master said, “You must learn to listen to your wife.”
The man took his advice to heart and returned after a month to say that he had learned to listen to every word his wife was saying.
Said the Master with a smile, “Now go home and listen to every word she isn’t saying.” Anthony de Mello
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Charles Darwin was a chronic complainer who was happiest when he had something to gripe about.
One night, he and his wife were guests at a banquet at which everything went wrong. The speeches were dry; the champagne was hot; the food was inferior; the service even more so, and worst of all, the naturalist was given a seat in a draft, about which he had a phobia.
Throughout the meal, he grumbled and swore. Later, the sponsor of the affair came over to Mrs. Darwin and said apologetically: “I do hope your husband will forgive us. We wanted so much for him have a good time.’
“He had wonderful time,” she assured him. “He was able to find fault with everything.”
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有一位鞋店銷售員對顧客說：對不起，女士，你的腳太大了，容不下這雙鞋子。在相同的情況下，另一位銷售員卻對他的顧客說：對不起，女士，這雙鞋子太小了，容不下你的腳。這兩位銷售員用了幾乎相同的字句，然而，溝通的技巧使其中一位稍改字句，稍改重點，卻因而挽留了一位忠心滿意的顧客。
One shoe salesman said to his client, “I’m sorry, madam, but your foot is too large for this shoe।” The other salesman said to his client who was in a similar situation, “I’m sorry, madam, but this shoe is too small or your foot.” Each used almost the same words, but tact and diplomacy caused one to make a slightly different emphasis by a slight difference of phrasing, and secured a loyal and satisfied customer. (Oswald Sander, Leadership 105)
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有三個牧師一起參加一個聚會，幷且他們共同分享一個房間。第一個牧師說：“讓我們彼此坦誠我們隱藏的罪。就從我開始吧。我隱藏的罪是我就是喜歡賭博，每當我出城之後，我就喜歡那賭博機的聲音。”
第二個牧師坦白說：“我隱而未現的罪是我恨惡工作，你知道嗎？我所有的講章都是從別人那裏抄來的。”
第三個牧師接著說：“我隱藏的罪就是傳話，噢，太好了！現在我就忍不住沖到屋子外面去。”
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從前有一博士搭船過江，在船上和船夫閒談，他問船夫說，你懂得天文嗎？船夫答說不懂，博士又問，你懂得地理嗎？船夫答說也不懂。博士再問，那麼動物學，植物學？船夫仍然搖頭。博士說，你樣樣都不懂，真是個飯桶。不久天色大變，風浪大作，傳將翻覆，博士嚇得面如土色，船夫就問他說，你懂得游泳嗎？答說不會，船夫又問，你懂得游泳學嗎？答說樣樣都懂就是不懂得游泳。說著傳就翻了，博士大喚救命。船夫一把將他抓住，救他上岸，笑著對他說，你懂得我都不懂，你說我是飯桶，你樣樣都懂就是不懂游泳，要不是我，恐怕已經變成一個水桶。
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有這樣一古老的傳說：每一個人出世以後，都有兩個袋子在他的頸項，一個放在前面，裡面裝的是鄰人們的過失，而另一個袋子則放在背後，所裝的是自己的錯處。
因此，人們能很快的看清別人的過失，而對背後所揹自己的錯失，卻很難見到。
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曾有一個先生說了一件發生在他身上的個人糗事；他說：我懷疑我太太有耳聾的毛病，就決定考驗一下她的聽覺。
我輕手輕腳走到她身後的十米的地方。「太太！」我說：「你聽見我的聲音嗎？」
她沒有回答。於是我移前到太太身後六米的地方，「太太！」我重覆說：「你聽得見我的聲音嗎？」她依然沒有搭腔。
我又走前到離她三米的地方，問道：「太太！現在你能聽見我的聲音嗎？」，「聽見了！」她回答，「這是我第三次回答了！」
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丟格尼（Diogenes）是古希臘的偉大教師，他品德崇高，為人正直，只可惜性好批評，說話很刻薄。
他的一生大半住在雅典，但卻常喜歡批評雅典的墮落；歌頌斯巴達的質樸。當時雅典與斯巴達是古希臘兩個最著名的城邦，但是兩者截然不同。雅典崇尚民主自由，以航海經商為業，所以社會風氣浮華而驕奢；斯巴達則軍權專政，以農牧為業，民眾生活單純而樸實。
有一天他的朋友實在受不了了，就反駁他說：「你要是真的認為斯巴達那麼好，又這麼瞧不起雅典，那你為什麼不甘脆搬到斯巴達去呢？」 丟格尼回答說：「無論我真正希望的是什麼，我的責任是留在最需要我的地方。」從前有一博士搭船過江，在船上和船夫閒談，他問船夫說，你懂得天文嗎？船夫答說不懂，博士又問，你懂得地理嗎？船夫答說也不懂。博士再問，那麼動物學，植物學？船夫仍然搖頭。博士說，你樣樣都不懂，真是個飯桶。不久天色大變，風浪大作，傳將翻覆，博士嚇得面如土色，船夫就問他說，你懂得游泳嗎？答說不會，船夫又問，你懂得游泳學嗎？答說樣樣都懂就是不懂得游泳。說著傳就翻了，博士大喚救命。船夫一把將他抓住，救他上岸，笑著對他說，你懂得我都不懂，你說我是飯桶，你樣樣都懂就是不懂游泳，要不是我，恐怕已經變成一個水桶。-----有這樣一古老的傳說：每一個人出世以後，都有兩個袋子在他的頸項，一個放在前面，裡面裝的是鄰人們的過失，而另一個袋子則放在背後，所裝的是自己的錯處。因此，人們能很快的看清別人的過失，而對背後所揹自己的錯失，卻很難見到。-----曾有一個先生說了一件發生在他身上的個人糗事；他說：我懷疑我太太有耳聾的毛病，就決定考驗一下她的聽覺。我輕手輕腳走到她身後的十米的地方。「太太！」我說：「你聽見我的聲音嗎？」她沒有回答。於是我移前到太太身後六米的地方，「太太！」我重覆說：「你聽得見我的聲音嗎？」她依然沒有搭腔。我又走前到離她三米的地方，問道：「太太！現在你能聽見我的聲音嗎？」，「聽見了！」她回答，「這是我第三次回答了！」
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丟格尼（Diogenes）是古希臘的偉大教師，他品德崇高，為人正直，只可惜性好批評，說話很刻薄。他的一生大半住在雅典，但卻常喜歡批評雅典的墮落；歌頌斯巴達的質樸。當時雅典與斯巴達是古希臘兩個最著名的城邦，但是兩者截然不同。雅典崇尚民主自由，以航海經商為業，所以社會風氣浮華而驕奢；斯巴達則軍權專政，以農牧為業，民眾生活單純而樸實。有一天他的朋友實在受不了了，就反駁他說：「你要是真的認為斯巴達那麼好，又這麼瞧不起雅典，那你為什麼不甘脆搬到斯巴達去呢？」 丟格尼回答說：「無論我真正希望的是什麼，我的責任是留在最需要我的地方。」
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經歷了一個長而無趣的説教之後，教區會衆們走出教堂說講道者空洞無物。
在接近行列的結尾処是一位有思想的人，他總是稱讚說有的説教。
「牧師，今天你的説教讓我想起上帝的平安和愛。」
牧師激動得發抖：「在這之前，對我的講道，從沒有一個人說的象這樣。告訴我為什麼。」
「嗯，它讓我想起上帝的平安，是因爲它超越了所有的理解；它讓我想起上帝的愛，是因爲它持續到永遠。」
After a very long and boring sermon the parishioners filed out of the church saying nothing to the preacher. Towards the end of the line was a thoughtful person who always commented on the sermons.
“Pastor, today your sermon reminded me of the peace and love of God!” The pastor was thrilled. “No-one has ever said anything like that about my preaching before. Tell me why.” “Well - it reminded me of the Peace of God because it passed all understanding and the Love of God because it endured forever!”
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一位主日學老師交給學生們下一週的功課。她說：「下星期我們要談談撒謊，為了準備這堂課，我要大家回去讀馬可福音17章。」
下星期上課的一開始，老師說：「那些為了這堂課讀了馬可福音17章的人，請走到前面來。」班上有一半的學生站起來走到前面去。「其他人可以離開，」老師說道：「這些前來的學生是我要教的，馬可福音沒有17章。」
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一個很擔心的丈夫去向醫生講述關於他妻子的事，他說：「醫生，我想我妻子是耳聾，因為她不曾在第一囘叫她時就聽見，我經常需要重述事件。」
醫生回答說：「不如這樣，您回家，今晚站在離她15尺的地方向她說一些話。如果她沒有回應，您就走近5尺，然後再説一次。您就持續這樣做，如此我們就能對她耳聾的嚴重程度有一些了解。
如此肯定后，丈夫便回家並遵照所指示的做。他先從與他正在廚房裏切菜的妻子站離15尺開始， 便說：「甜心，晚餐吃什麽？「他沒有聽到回答。於是，他走近五尺，然後再問。沒有回應。他再走近五尺。還是沒有回應。他感到不耐煩地走到妻子身後，差不多有一寸的距離，再問：「甜心，晚餐吃什麽？」
她回答說：「這已經是第四次告訴您是菜羹！」
A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says, “Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and I’m always repeating things.”
“Well,” the doctor replied, “go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say something to her. If she doesn’t reply move about 5 feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so that we’ll get an idea about the severity of her deafness”.
Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she is chopping some vegetables and says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” He hears no response. He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves 5 feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
She replies, “For the fourth time, vegetable stew!”
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在網路上有一篇名為＜說話的藝術＞的文章：
少說抱怨的話，多說寬容的話；
抱怨帶來記恨，寬容乃是智者。
少說諷刺的話，多說尊重的話；
諷刺顯得輕視，尊重增加了解。
少說拒絕的話，多說關懷的話；
拒絕形成對立，關懷獲得友誼。
少說命令的話，多說商量的話；
命令只是接受，商量才是領導。
少說批評的話，多說鼓勵的話；
批評產生阻力，鼓勵發揮力量。
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Quotes引證 :
He who tells a lie is not sensible how great a task he undertakes, for he must be forced to invent twenty more to maintain one. Pope.
Sin has many tools but a lie is the handle that fits them all. O.W. Holmes.
Dean Jones of Yale is credited with this definition of freedom of speech: “The liberty to say what you think without thinking what you say.”
Melodious is the closed mouth. Irish
I am sick of opinions. Give me a humble, gentle lover of God and man – a man full or mercy and good fruits, without partiality or hypocrisy. Bigotry is too strong an attachment to our own creed of opinion. How unwilling men are to allow anything good in those who do not agree with them in all things. We must not narrow the cause of God to our own beliefs, but rejoice in goodness wherever it appears. John Wesley
The two words information and communication are often used interchangeably, but they signify quite different things. Information is giving out; communication is getting through. Sydney J. Harris
There’s no sense in doing a lot of barking if you don’t really have much to say. Snoopy
Your temper is uneven; you lack love for your neighbors. You grow angry too easily; your tongue is too sharp- thus, the people will not hear you. John Wesley
Praise makes good men better, and bad men worse. Thomas Fuller.
There’s not a single new thought in Purpose-Driven Life that hasn’t been said in historic Christianity or Judaism. I’m just a communicator for the 21st century. Rick Warren
If your words are soft and sweet, they won’t be as hard to swallow if you have to eat them.
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. Abraham Lincoln
Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument is an exchange of ignorance. Robert Quillen
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do.
Dale Carnegie
My preaching almost always displeases me. Augustine
You are entitled to your own opinion. You are not entitled to your own facts.
If you can walk, you can dance. If you can talk, you can sing. Zimbabwe proverb.
I tell my students to accept 51% of the responsibility of the outcome of the communication. Andrew D. Wolvin, University of Maryland
Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself can spare time for personal contention. Still less can he afford to take all the consequences, including the vitiating of his temper and loss of self control. Yield larger things to which you can show no more than equal right; and yield lesser ones, though clearly your own. Better give your path to a dog than be bitten by him in contesting for the right. Even killing the dog would not cure the bite. Abraham Lincoln
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. Mark Twain
It takes two years to learn to talk and seventy years to learn how to control your mouth.
I can live for two months on one good compliment. Mark Twain.
The reality is, if we tell the truth, we only have to tell the truth once. If you lie, you have to keep lying forever. Rabbi Wayne Dosick
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. Benjamin Franklin
Tart words make no friends; a spoonful or honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. Benjamin Franklin
Nobody ever got into trouble by keepin’ his mouth shut. The Wit and Wisdom of Forrest Gump
The hardest thing to keep to yourself is an opinion.
Every man needs a blind eye and a deaf ear, so when people applaud, you’ll only hear half of it, and when people salute, you’ll only see part of it. Believe only half the praise and half the criticism. Charles H. Spurgeon
Criticism is something you can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing. Aristotle
Animals have long tongues but can’t speak; men have short tongues and shouldn’t speak.
Half an answer also says something.
Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. Plato
A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject. Winston Churchill
If one man calls you a donkey, pay him no mind. If two men call you a donkey, get a saddle.
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CONDUCT 行為
有個鄉下牧師曾經說：「福音有兩部分。第一部分是相信它 (believing it)，第二部分是實行它 (behaving it)。」
An old country preacher used to say: “There are two parts to the Gospel. The first part is believing it, and the second part is behaving it.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 225)
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A soldier being dealt with by a Christian worker put it very well when he said, “I see it now! God does not expect me to live His life without first giving me His nature.”
(from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 227)
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It happened in the court-room during the trial of a husky young man who was charged with assault and battery. Throughout an especially severe cross-examination the defendant stoutly maintained that he had merely pushed the plaintiff “a little bit.”
“Well, about how hard?” queried the prosecutor.
“Oh, just a little bit,” responded the defendant.
“Now,” said the attorney, “for the benefit of the judge and the jury, you will please step down here and, with me for the subject, illustrate just how hard you mean.”
Owing to the unmerciful badgering which the witness had just been through, the prosecutor thought that the young man would perhaps overdo the matter to get back at him, and thus incriminate himself.
The defendant descended as per schedule, and approached the waiting attorney. When he reached him the spectators were astonished to see him slap the lawyer in the face, kick him in the shins, seize him bodily, and, finally, with a supreme effort, lift him from the floor and hurl him prostrate across a table.
Turning from the bewildered prosecutor, he faced the court and explained mildly:
“Your honor and gentlemen, about one-tenth that hard!”
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
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一個婦女向市政府官員請求釋放她的丈夫出獄。
「他為何入獄？」這官員問。
「因爲他偷了一個火腿」，她回答說。
「那聼起來並不算什麽。他是一個好的員工嗎？」
「不，我不想那麽說。他其實很懶。」
「嗯…他一定對你和孩子們很好，對嗎？」
「不，他不是這樣。說實話，他對我們很吝嗇。」
「那你爲什麽請求要這樣一個人出獄呢！？」 官員難以置信地問。
「官員，我們已經有一段時間沒有吃火腿了。」
A woman appealed to the state Governor about getting her husband out of the penitentiary.
“What is he in for?” asked the Governor.
“For stealing a ham,” she replied.
“That doesn’t sound too bad. Is he a good worker?”
“No, I wouldn’t say that. He’s pretty lazy.”
“Oh... well, he’s good to you and the children, isn’t he?”
“No, he’s not. Truth be told, he’s pretty mean to us.”
“Why would you want a man like that out of prison?!?” the governor asked in disbelief.
“Well, Governor, we’ve been out of ham quite a spell...”
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最低限度可以作一個壞人榜樣.
“Everybody in the world is good for something. At least they can be a bad example.” Cavett Robert
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童話裹有一個故事說:古時代在一大山上有一隻老虎，牠很喜歡喫人肉。天使告訴牠: 「你以後絕對不可喫人肉，若再喫，我馬上打死你。」虎答: 「好！ 」以後牠只咬死小動物來滿足肚子。過三年，天使再來時，老虎請求天使說「我三年之久沒喫過人肉，現在非常愛喫人肉，讓我喫吧！ 」天使說「好，但是基督徒你絕對不可喫。」虎回答說「好」後來虎很歡喜下了山，跑到一個禮拜堂前，看見一個人帶聖經，吟詩很快樂的樣子。老虎上前聞那個人，全身都沒有基督徒氣味，只有嘴有一點基督徒的氣味，所以留下嘴、全身的肉都喫掉了。天使又降臨來了，責備老虎怎樣喫那個人?老虎說「這個人只有嘴有基督徒的氣味，所以我留著嘴，其他的都份都喫掉了。」（楊信德，《新約聖經一般故事講道集》）
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有一位神學院的院長問學生說：「你今天都做了些什麼事呀？」
學生回答說：「我每天都忙死了，一直都在工作。我得管理兩隻鷲、兩隻豬’兩隻馬、一隻鹿，踩一條蛇、鬥一隻熊，另外還得照顧一個病人。」
神學院院長愈聽眼睛愈大。「我們院裡什麼時候成為動物園了？我怎麼都不知道呢？」院長回答。
那學生說：「兩隻鷲就是我兩隻情慾的眼睛，我常愛看那些不該看的東西，所以得好好的管理它。兩隻豬就是我愛偷懶的兩隻手，它們不喜歡做事，我得好好的鞭策它，好使它殷勤做工，多結果子。兩隻馬就是我的兩條腿，它們喜歡像野馬一樣亂跑，我得馴服它，才不會讓它走上邪惡的道路，要在真理的道上站穩腳步才行。一隻鹿就是我
不安定的心，它常像小鹿一樣亂竄，焦燥不安，我得好好的管束它，才不會使我的心迷失了。一條蛇就是我那喜歡道人是非的舌頭，我得勒住它，不要讓它信口雌黃才行。另一隻熊就是我那貪婪的惡念，我得克制它，好使它不會危害人群。至於那個病人，就是我整個肉體，我得讓它吃好的靈糧，讀神的話語，這樣我才能日益茁壯，真正長大成熟，滿有主基督的樣式。」
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曾有一位宣教士在傳福音時說到：「我曾旅行到一個地方，那裏有兩條分岔的路，當我在找路標時，發現了兩個人，一個已經死了，一個還活著，我該向那個人問路呢？是死的還是活的？」有人回答﹕「是活的。」宣教士繼續說﹔「那麼你們為何要跟隨那些已死的所謂聖人和宗教領袖，而不跟隨活著的基督呢？」
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福特於1893年發明汽車，1903年開始設廠大量生產，給人類帶來不少方便，但同時也造成許多車禍及人命的損傷。為了防止車禍的發生，福特汽車公司懸賞向全國徵求防止車禍發生的圖案及標語。結果入選的作品為大家耳熟能詳的「停、看、聽」，亦即車子開到十字路口或平交道時，必須先把車子停下來，再左右觀察看看，並傾聽一下有否來車。獲選者因而獲得一大筆獎金。可惜在幾年後，那位獲獎者開車到平交道時，因為沒有遵守自己所提出的標語，遂與火車相撞而車毀人亡。這樣的結果，好比『實行一兩，勝過一頓』，值得省思！
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Quotes引證 :
Good etiquette’s three simple phrases: “Please,” “Thank you,” and “May I.”
The beauty of the house is order; the blessing of the house is contentment; the glory of the house is hospitality; the crown of the house is godliness. (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
Home The place where we are treated best and grumble most. (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
It is not the quantity of the meat but the cheerfulness of the guests which makes the feast. Clarendon
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CONTENTMENT 知足
D. L. Moody told of two merchants between whom there was great rivalry and bitter feeling. One of them was converted. He went to his minister and said, “I’m still jealous of that man, and I don’t know how to overcome it.” “Well,” said the minister, “if a man comes into your store to buy goods, and you cannot supply him, just send him over to your neighbor.” He said he wouldn’t like to do that. “Well,” said the minister, “you do it and you will kill jealousy.” Sure enough, when he began sending customers over to his rival for goods he himself could not supply, the rival began to send customers over to this man’s store, and the breach was healed. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 408)
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Those who study bees tell us when a honeybee drives its barbed stinger into flesh, it becomes so firmly imbedded that the only way the bee can escape is to leave the stinger behind. This, however, is sure to cause the death of the bee. It receives such a wound that it cannot possibly recover. So it is with us. Sometimes we sting others because they are a little better than we are. Being jealous of them, we not only leave the sting in those who happen to disagree with us, but the act brings about spiritual harm to ourselves. If our zeal embitters others, it will multiply bitterness within our own hearts. Thus, when others feel the bitterness of our zeal, they will surely come to the conclusion that we do not possess Jesus Christ who descended from heaven to give us new life. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 409)
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Dr. F. B. Meyer told the following experience to a few personal friends: “It was easy,” he said, “to pray for the success of Campbell Morgan when he was in America, but when he came back to England and took a church near to mine, it was somewhat different. The old Adam in me was inclined to jealousy, but I got my heel upon his head, and whether I felt right toward my friend or not, I determined to act right. “My church gave a reception for him, and I acknowledged if it was not necessary for me to preach Sunday evenings, I would dearly love to go and hear him myself. Well, that made me feel right toward him. Just see how the dear Lord helped me out of my difficulty. There was Charles Spurgeon preaching wonderfully on the other side of me. He and Mr. Morgan were so popular and drew such crowds that our church caught the overflow, and we had all we could accommodate.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 410)
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Many Christians are like that person who, one day, looked extremely sad. One who knew him well said, “Either some great evil has happened to him, or some great good to another.” It has been very aptly said, “The man who keeps busy helping the man below him will not have time to envy the man above him; and there may not be anyone above him.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 216)
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A story is told of a watch which became dissatisfied with its little sphere in a lady's pocket. It envied Big Ben, the great tower clock in London. One day, as it passed over Westminster Bridge with its mistress, the little watch was heard to say, “I wish I could be up there. I could then serve the multitude.”
"You shall have your opportunity, little watch,” said a voice. Magically the watch was drawn up to the tower by a slender thread. When it reached the top, its mistress said to it, “Where are you, little watch? I cannot see you.” Nor could anybody else. Its elevation became its annihilation. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 217)
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A little snail that lived by the ocean noticed with envy the big, beautiful shell in which the lobster lived. “What a grand palace the lobster carries on his back! I wish I lived in his place,” whined the little snail. “Oh, wouldn't my friends admire me in that shell!”
In time a wonderful thing occurred. The watching, envious snail beheld the lobster walk right out of his shell to grow up in another, larger one. When the empty lobster shell lay neglected on the beach the snail said, “Now I shall have my wish.” And he boasted to all his friends that he was going to take up residence in a grand palace.
The birds and the animals then watched the snail pull himself loose from his own little shell and proudly crawl into the towering lobster shell. He huffed, puffed, blew, and gasped in an effort to make himself fit. But with all his efforts he felt very small inside the grand lobster shell. He grew tired, too. That night he died because the large, empty shell was so cold.
A wise old crow then said to the younger crows, “You see! That's what comes of envy. What you have is enough. Be yourself and save yourself from a lot of trouble. How much better to be a little snail in a comfortable shell than to be a little snail in a big shell and freeze to death!” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 218)
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The Boy And The Nuts One good, practical reason for controlling our cravings is that if we grasp for too much, we may end up getting nothing at all. A little boy once found a jar of nuts on the table. ‘I would like some of these nuts,” he thought. “I’m sure Mother would give them to me if she were here. I’ll take a big handful.” so he reached into the jar and grabbed as many as he could hold. But when he tried to pull his hand out, he found that the neck of the jar was too small. his hand was held fast, but he did not want to drop any of the nuts. He tried again and again, but he couldn’t get the whole handful out. At last he began to cry. Just then his mother came into the room. “What’s the matter?” she asked. I can’t take this handful of nuts out of the jar,” sobbed the boy. “Well, don’t be greedy,” his mother replied. “Just take two or three, and you’ll have no trouble getting your hand out.” “How easy that was,” said the boy as he left the table. “I should have thought of that myself.” Aesop
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Once upon a time there was a stone cutter. The stone cutter lived in a land where a life of privilege meant being powerful. Looking at his life he decided that he was unsatisfied with the way things were and so he set out to become the most powerful thing in the land. Looking around his land he wondered to himself what is it to be powerful. Looking up he saw the Sun shining down on all the land. “The Sun must be the most powerful thing that there is, for it shines down on all things, and all things grow from its touch.” So he became the Sun. Days later, as he shone his power down on the inhabitants of the land, there came a cloud which passed beneath him obstructing his brilliance. Frustrated he realized that the Sun was not the most powerful thing in the land, if a simple cloud could interrupt his greatness. So he became a cloud, in fact, he became the most powerful storm that the world had ever seen. And so he blew his rain and lightning, and resounded with thunder all over the land, demonstrating that he was the most powerful. Until one day he came across a boulder. Down and down he poured and his thunder roared, lightning flashed and filled the sky, striking the ground near the boulder. His winds blew and blew and blew, and yet, despite all his efforts, he could not budge the boulder. Frustrated again, he realized that the storm was not the most powerful thing in the land, rather it must be the boulder. So he became the boulder. For days he sat, unmovable, and impassive, demonstrating his power, until one day, a stone cutter came and chiseled him to bits.
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A young man was traveling in a far country. It was getting late in the day, and he knew that he needed to stop to rest. However, he was thirsty and needed to find water before he slept. He met a white haired old man sitting on a rock by the side of the road. The young man asked him if he knew of a place where he could find water to drink. The old man said that if the young man stayed on the path he would come to a small stream. However, it would be after dark before he would reach the stream. The old man told the traveler that he could safely drink there. The old man further said that if he would pick up a handful of pebbles from the stream bed, the young man would be both glad and sad. The young man thanked the old man and continued on his journey. Sure enough, even though it was quite dark, the young traveler found the stream. He took a drink. The young man thought it silly to pick up pebbles, but just for curiosity he picked up a handful and put them in his pocket. He then found a place to sleep a short distance away from the stream. When he woke up, the young man remembered the pebbles. He shoved his hand into his pocket and brought them out. As he looked at them in amazement, the young man simultaneously felt great sorrow and great happiness for there in his hand lay beautiful, sparkling jewels. Quickly he rushed back to the stream to get more. He frantically searched through many hands full of ordinary pebbles, but the opportunity was gone. As he looked at the beautiful jewels, the young traveler felt so sad that he did not pick up many more. At the same time he was happy that he had at least picked up those that he had.
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聽說年老的桂格刊登一則廣告，他想要把四十英畝富饒的土地給想得到完全知足的人。有一個尋覓者來見桂格，桂格問：「你對所擁有的感到完全知足嗎？」充滿期待的客人回說：「是的！」老桂格意味深長的說：「那為什麼你還想要這塊土地呢？」
We’ve heard of an old Quaker who advertised that he would give 40 acres of rich farm land to anyone who was perfectly satisfied with that which he had. One seeker came to see the Quaker.
“Are thee perfectly satisfied with what thee hast?”
“Yes,” answered the hopeful guest.
“Then why dost thee want this land?” was the old Quaker’s significant reply.
—Gospel Herald
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有人問希臘哲學家克利安第說「誰更富？」，他回答說「知足的人」，辛尼加常說「最大的財富，是在於無慾。改善我們物質狀況最好的方法，莫過於無需要。我們愈限制我們的需求，我們就愈自由。」
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Quotes引證 :
Contentment is merely the knack of not wanting the things we know we can’t have.
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. Fuller.
To be content with what we possess is the greatest and most secure of riches. Cicero.
When you can think of yesterday without regret and tomorrow without fear, you are near contentment. Unknown.
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COURAGE 勇氣
A young soldier who was showing signs of panic on the eve of his first battle was chaffed by a veteran. “Why, sonny,” he said, “you’re shaking with fear. Don’t be such a coward.” “I’m not a coward,” hotly retorted the youth. “If you felt half as scared as I do, you’d run away!” He was right. That young man was not a coward because he felt fear, but he would have been a coward if he had allowed it to master him and drive him from his post of duty. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 711)
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One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant. Before long it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to fire departments from miles around. After fighting the fire for over an hour, the chemical company president approached the fire chief and said, “All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved! I will give 50,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!”
As soon as the chief heard this, he ordered the firemen to strengthen their attack on the blaze. After two more hours of attacking the fire, president of the company offered $100,000 to the engine company that could bring out the company’s secret files. From the distance a long siren was heard and another fire truck came into sight. It was a local volunteer fire company composed entirely of men over 65. To everyone’s amazement the little fire engine raced through the chemical plant gates and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. In the distance the other firemen watched as the old timers hopped off of their rig and began to fight the fire with an effort that they had never seen before.
After an hour of intense fighting the volunteer company had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas. Joyous the chemical company president announced that he would double the reward to $200,000 and walked over to personally thank each of the volunteers.
After thanking each of the old men individually the president asked the group what they intended to do with the reward money. The fire truck driver looked him right in the eye and said, “The first thing we’re going to do is fix the brakes on that truck!”
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古印度的寓言中有一個關於老鼠的故事，話說這隻老鼠和其他的老鼠一樣，很怕貓。
有一個神仙很同情牠，願意提供幫助，解除牠恐懼，在這隻老鼠的同意下，神仙將牠變成一隻貓。然而這隻貓又怕狗，因此神仙又將牠變成一隻狗。可是這隻狗又怕老虎，這樣神仙就再使牠變成一隻老虎，當這神仙發現這隻老虎又怕獵人時，牠就很厭惡的叫了起來：「你真的是毫無希望，你所需要的是改變你的心！ 在這一點事實上，我可幫不了你！」
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Quotes引證 :
Courage consists not in blindly overlooking danger, but in seeing it and conquering it. Richter.
Few persons have courage enough to appear as good as they really are. Hare.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
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