eIllustrations 例證寶藏

Ability 才幹，Action 行動，Adversary 敵人，Adversity 患難

2007-11-18T23:58:00.006-08:00

ABILITY 才幹
Ivy李先生是一位時間管理顧問，他應伯利恆鋼鐵公司的董事Charles Schwab查理士先生所召見，請教他如何更好的管理他的時間，李先生告訴他將明天要做的六樣最重要的事按優先次序排列寫下。

查理士先生問他要收多少費用。

李先生說「你按我的指示使用幾個月，然後按你認為所值的付費，後來李先生收到一張面額25000元的支票，在六年前是很不錯的收入總數。

Ivy Lee, a management consultant, was called in by Charles Schwab, chairman of Bethleham steel company, to give him advice on how to better manage his time.

Lee told him to write down every evening the 6 most important things he had to do the next day and to list them in the order of importance.

Schwab asked Lee how much he wanted for this advice and Lee said, Use the plan for several months and send me a check for how much you think it is worth.

Eventually Lee received a check for $ 25,000.00—not a bad sum sixty years ago.
-----

有一天福特汽車的工廠發生了一個問題，工廠的機器突然不會動了。工廠的老板就是亨利福特，馬上叫他的一個朋友，他是機械的專家，來工廠看一看到底出了什麼問題。結果他一來，打一打、敲一敲；在一個地方換了兩個螺絲，機器就馬上可以運作起來。亨利福特終於鬆了一口氣，就請朋友把帳單寄給他；對他而言，這是很客氣的說法，因為他們是很好的朋友；動一動手，換個螺絲應該不會跟他收錢。結果收到帳單時，竟然是美金一萬元。亨利福特嚇了一跳，馬上打電話問他的朋友，你用的是什麼螺絲，為什麼這麼貴呢？他的朋友說，螺絲價值三元；知道要在哪裡敲一敲，換上新的螺絲的知識，價值九千九百九十七元；你若嫌螺絲太貴，那就收取知識的費用就好了。亨利福特一句話沒說，馬上開給他朋友一萬元的支票。
-----

Quotes引證 :
I used to have a handle on life... then it broke. Anonymous

Always remembers you’re unique, just like everyone else. Anonymous

A talent is a terrible thing to waste. Stuart Briscoe

**********************************************************

ACTION 行動
一個貴格會教徒已經給自己惹來麻煩，司法官員來護送他到拘留所。
「你丈夫在家嗎？」他問來應門的妻子。
她回答：「請進」，「我丈夫會見你」
司法官員進入後，感到賓至如歸的，並且被熱情款待半小時，但她的丈夫始終未出現。最後司法官員愈來愈不耐煩。
「你看」他說：「我以為妳剛才說你的丈夫會見我。
她平靜回答：「他己經見了你」，「但他不喜歡你的樣子，已經從別處走了。」
(更多的吐司，格杜達‧史丹)

A Quaker had gotten himself into trouble with the authorities and the sheriff called to escort him to the lock-up.

“Is your husband in?” he inquired of the good wife who came to the door.

“My husband will see thee,” she replied. “Come in.”

The sheriff entered, was bidden to make himself at home, and was hospitably entertained for half an hour, but no husband appeared. At last the sheriff grew impatient.

“Look here,” said he, “I thought you said your husband would see me.”

“He has seen thee,” was the calm reply, “but he did not like thy looks and has gone another way.” (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
-----

南丁格爾伯爵講一位教授的故事，他要求一群學院教育老師以濃縮簡短語去表達書上的句子是怎樣激勵人。經過長時間的討論過，他們用下述的語句：你注意什麼思想，你就會考慮；你不注意的事情，它就會消失；你不斷注意的事，你就會相信；你思想相信什麼，它最後就會成為事實。

Earl Nightingale tells the story of a professor who asked a group of college educators to boil down into a brief statement of all the books every written on how to motivate people. After a long discussion they came up with the following statement which says it all:
What the mind attends to, it considers; what it does not attend to, it dismisses. What the mind attends to continually, it believes; and what the mind believes it eventually does.
-----

看是一回事，在你所看的事上有所看見又是一回事，但要瞭解所看見的事是第三件事。能從所瞭解的事中又有所學習的又是另一件事，然而最重要的是能將你所學的活化在你的行動之中。

To look is one thing, to see what you look at is another, to understand what you see is a third, to learn from what you understand is still something else, but to act on what you learn is all that really matters!
-----

有位賣牛奶的女孩，頂著一桶牛奶準備到街上去賣。走著，走著，忽然想到：「我這桶牛奶賣的錢，至少可以買300個雞蛋，而這些雞蛋至少可以孵出250隻小雞。等小雞長大了，價格高了，就可以賣掉這些雞，去買一件漂亮的新衣服。當聖誕夜的舞會時，必定會有許多男孩子追求我，但我會一一拒絕他們……」。想到這裡，這女孩陶醉地搖搖頭……。忽然間，頭上牛奶桶便掉在地上，牛奶倒了，她的夢也碎了！
-----

Quotes引證 :
記住，公雞只會啼叫，但真正會下蛋的是母雞。
Remember, the rooster only crows; it is the hen that delivers the egg. Texas saying

坐著抄筆記是容易的，困難的是要能起而行的真行動。
It is easy to sit up and take notice. What is difficult is getting up and taking action.

如果你真想做一點事，你會找到出路的，但若你一點想做事的欲望都沒，你所有的就只有藉口。
If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way; if you don’t, you’ll find an excuse. Unknown.

在決定的關鍵時刻，最好的事就是做對的事，第二好的就是做錯的事，最慘的是你什麼事都沒做。
In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

當我年紀漸長時，我會較不在意人所說的，我只看他們所做的。
As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do. Andrew Carnegie

**********************************************************

ADVERSARY 敵人/反對
兩條蛇對話。
其中一條對另一條問；“我們有毒嗎？”
另一個回答：“是的，為什麼?..."
“我剛剛咬到我的嘴唇。”

Two snakes are talking.
One of them turns to the other and asks, “Are we venomous?”
The other replies, “Yes, why?...”
“I just bit my lip.”
-----

一個人買了一塊緊挨著一個農夫的田地，這個農夫已經長期與他的前業主爭論有關這田與他自己產業之間的確實界線。一日這新業主在圍欄附近看見這位農夫，他上前與這位農夫說：「我是你的新鄰居，我想與你談及我們之間的界線業權。」這農夫裝出一個敵對的態度回答說：「談什麼？」新業主說：「你覺得這田有幾多是屬你的？」談話的新業主他是一個基督徒。農夫回答說：「我覺得你的圍欄越過了我的產業兩呎之多。」基督徒回答說：「那好，那我重設後退四呎在我那邊。」這事件完全消除了農夫的敵對態度，並且開始了農夫的讓步精神。
(從聖經事實# 914的插圖)

A man bought a field next to a farmer who had been engaged in a longstanding dispute with the former owner about the exact boundary line between this field and his own property. When the new owner saw the farmer near the fence one day, he greeted him with the words, “I’m your new neighbor; and I would like to talk to you about the boundary line between our properties.” The farmer assumed a belligerent attitude and said, “What about it?” “How much of this field do you claim as belonging to you?” asked the new owner who was a Christian. “I claim that your fence is a good two feet over on my property,” replied the farmer. “Well, then, I want you to reset the fence four feet back on my side,” said the Christian. This completely took the fight out of the farmer and was the beginning of a new spirit of concession on his part also. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 914)
-----

一個女孩一個男孩兩個小孩玩在一起，他們一起接受救恩，生命並改變。有一天這男孩告訴他媽媽說:我知道艾媽她是基督徒。親愛的你從那裡知道的。因為她在遊戲時像個基督徒，假如你從她身上拿走任何的東西，她不會生氣，以前她很自私，如果你沒有照她的方式一起玩，她會說你是一個卑鄙的小孩，我不想跟你玩。

Two little children, a boy and a girl, who played together a great deal, received Christ and were converted. One day the boy came to his mother and said, “Mother, I know that Emma is a Christian.” “What makes you think so, dear?” “Because she plays like a Christian. If you take everything she’s got, she doesn’t get mad. Before, she was selfish, and if she didn’t have everything her own way she would say, ‘I won’t play with you; you are a mean little boy.’” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 916)
-----

很多基督徒看起來像個被狗咬過的婦女，被她的內科醫師告知寫最後遺囑，因為她看起來像似會死於狂犬病。她花了很長的時間在醫院寫遺囑，以致被醫師特別詢問關心，她擤擤鼻涕說，我現在正在寫我要去咬的人的名單。

Many Christians are like the woman who had been bitten by a dog and was advised by her physician to write her last wishes, as she might succumb to hydrophobia. She spent so long with pencil and paper that the doctor finally remarked something about how long the will would be. “Will!” she snorted. “I’m writing a list of the people I’m going to bite!” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 886)
-----

有一則古老的傳奇故事，希臘大力神海克力斯，在一條窄路上遇到一頭很奇怪的動物，他用棍棒攻擊牠且超越通過了。但不久這頭動物又跑到他的前面而且比先前大出三倍。海克力斯更猛烈更用力的擊打牠，但是當他擊打牠更猛烈更頻繁時，這頭野獸卻越變越大。這時候智慧女神出現，告訴海克力斯停止攻擊這怪物。她說:「這怪物的名叫爭鬥。你只要不理牠，牠就會變回原來的大小。」
這是一個很有價值的勸告，給那些一直忙於反擊的基督徒，思考一下唯有這樣停止攻擊才是唯一途徑。

There is an old legend that tells of Hercules encountering a strange animal on a narrow road. He struck it with his club and passed. Soon the animal overtook him, now three times as large as before. Hercules struck it fast and furiously, but the more he clubbed the beast, the larger it grew. Then Pallas appeared to Hercules and warned him to stop. “The monster’s name is Strife,” he said. “Let it alone and it will soon become as little as at first.” This is valuable advice for those of us Christians who engage in counterblows, thinking that only thus can we stop the blows. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 751)
-----

英國佈道家喬治‧懷腓特體驗到去討神的喜悅比去討人的喜悅更為重要。他領悟到去做榮耀主的事能夠在當他遭受敵人錯誤的指控時不至受挫。在他一次的服事中，懷特腓接到一封惡意中傷的的信，指控他所做錯的事。

然而他勇敢又簡潔的回覆是，「我由衷的感謝你的來信，有關於你和其他敵人所反對我的控言，我想我比你們任何人都瞭解我自己的短處與錯誤。
在基督的愛裡，喬治‧懷腓特」

他不是要為自己坦護些什麼，他是非常在乎要如何取悅於主。

English evangelist George Whitefield (1714-1770) learned that it was more important to please God than to please men. Knowing that he was doing what was honoring to the Lord kept him from discouragement when he was falsely accused by his enemies. At one point in his ministry, Whitefield received a vicious letter accusing him of wrongdoing.

His reply was brief and courteous: “I thank you heartily for your letter. As for what you and my other enemies are saying against me, I know worse things about myself than you will ever say about me. With love in Christ, George Whitefield.”

He didn’t try to defend himself. He was much more concerned about pleasing the Lord.

Our Daily Bread, August 18, 1992
-----

When the kings of Siam wanted to ruin a man in their kingdom they would present him with a white elephant. The unfortunate man couldn’t get rid of the elephant for it was “sacred,” and it was a gift from the king- and then the expense of keeping the useless thing soon put him in the bread line. (7,700 Illustrations #7533)
-----

一位美國遊客在抵達愛爾蘭後漫步城市，享受景點和面帶微笑的漂亮女孩。突然，在一條僻靜的街道，一兇惡男子跳出黑暗的小巷，揮舞著一支槍。槍手問：」你是何宗教？」遊客想：「糟了！」「如果我說我是天主教的與他是新教的，他必會轟掉我的頭了！但是如果我說我天主教，那麼我也一樣死！」突然，他有靈感地答：「我是猶太人！」槍手絕望地大聲說：「你不要說話！」感到驚訝的恐怖份子大叫道：「我一定是在全愛爾蘭最幸運的阿拉伯人了。」

An American tourist arriving in Ireland took a stroll through the city, enjoying the sights and smiling at the pretty girls. Suddenly, on one the city’s less frequented streets, a fierce-looking man jumped out of a dark alley, brandishing a gun. “What’s your religion?” demanded the gunman. “Omigosh!” thought the tourist. “If I say I’m Catholic and he’s a Protestant, he’ll blow my head off! But if I say I’m Catholic, then I’m also as good as dead!” Suddenly he was seized with an inspired idea. “I’m Jewish!” he cried out in desperation. “You don’t say!” exclaimed the surprised terrorist. “I must be the luckiest Arab in all of Ireland.”
-----

Mahmoud Ahmedinijad, Iran’s latest President, called George W. Bush on the phone late one night.
“I’ve had a remarkable dream, Mr. Bush”, he said, “and it’s something you should know about.”
“Well Mr. Mindinajar, what was your dream all about?”, queried the President.
“I dreamed that the USA had gone through an enlightening reformation”, he said, “and in front of every house was a huge banner.”
“That’s intriguing, Mr. Mindinajar. Tell me, what did it say on these banners?”, asked Bush.
“They all said the same thing: Allah is God, Allah is great”, stated Mahmoud, as if he could taste victory.
“It’s quite odd that you should call me about a dream, as I had one the other night as well”, said Bush.
“And what was your dream about, Mr Bush?
“I dreamed that Iran had gone through a reformation as well, and on every house was a flagpole.”
“So, what was on the flags?”, asked the Iranian.
“I have no idea”, said Bush, “I can’t read Hebrew.”
-----

阿拉法特，感覺到他的身體不舒服有異狀，他直覺到他漸漸邁向死亡。因此他去向一位巫師請教，請巫師預測他的死期。當這位巫師閉上眼睛，慢慢進入未來世界。巫師開口說她找到答案:「你將在猶太人的假日當天死亡。」阿拉法特很緊張的問:「是那一天。」巫師回答說:「這無關緊要，因為當你過世的那一天，那一天也將是猶太人的國定假日。」

Yasser Arafat, not feeling well and concerned about his mortality, goes to consult a Psychic about the date of his death.
Closing her eyes and silently reaching into the realm of the future she finds the answer: “You will die on a Jewish holiday.”
“Which one?’” Arafat asks nervously.
“It doesn’t matter,” replied the psychic. “Whenever you die, it’ll be a Jewish holiday.”
-----

一個騎士和他的隨從在一整天艱苦的戰鬥之後回到城堡。

「一切都好嗎？」國王問道。

「陛下，」騎士回答，「我用你的名義強取豪奪了一整天，燒掉了你在西邊的敵人的城市。」

「什麼？」國王喊道。「我在西邊沒有敵人！」

「噢，」騎士說。「你現在有了。」

A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting.

“How are we faring?” asks the king.

“Sire,” replies the knight, “I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west.”

“What?!?” shrieks the king. “I don’t have any enemies to the west!”

“Oh,” says the knight. “Well, you do now.”

-----

蘇格拉底是希臘時代最有名的哲學家，有「西方的孔子」美譽。

他有一個最為人所熟知的美德，就是忍耐。不僅對他的悍妻百般忍耐，就是對不相識的人也重不與計較。

有一次他和朋友一起到街上散步。突然有個年輕人不知從哪裡冒出來，手中拿了一根棍棒，打了他後拔腿就跑。

他的朋友見狀立刻就追了出去，但卻被蘇格拉底給攔了下來。

「為什麼不讓我去抓他？難道你怕了他不成？」他的朋友不解的問。

此時蘇格拉底一邊揉著傷處，一邊笑笑的回答說：「老朋友，如果一頭驢踢了你，難道你要踢還牠嗎？何必跟驢一般見識呢？」

他的朋友點點頭，兩人相視大笑而去。
-----

有一個人打電話給他的律師。律師的秘書接到電話，解釋說律師已經死了。那個人就掛了電話。第二天，那一個人又打電話給他的律師。同樣，秘書解釋說律師已經死了。那個人就掛了電話。又一天，那一個人又打電話給他的律師。這一次，秘書很生氣，說，「嘿，我已經告訴你兩次了。你的律師已經死了。你為什麼還在打來？」「我喜歡聽到他死了，」那一個人回答。

A man calls his lawyer. The lawyer's secretary picks up the phone and explains that the lawyer is dead. The man hangs up. The next day, the man calls his lawyer again. Again the secretary explains that the lawyer is dead. The man hangs up. The following day, the man calls his lawyer yet again. This time the secretary gets angry and says, “Look, I've told you twice already. Your lawyer is dead. Why do you keep calling?” “I just like to hear it,” responded the caller.
-----

Quotes引證 :
I have had more trouble with myself than with any other man I have ever met! Dwight L. Moody

The mark of community--true biblical unity--is not the absence of conflict but the presence of a reconciling spirit. Bill Hybels

An association of men who will not quarrel with one another is a thing which never yet existed, from the greatest confederacy of nations down to a town meeting or a vestry. Thomas Jefferson

You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

You get more bees with honey.

**********************************************************

ADVERSITY 患難
The (chronic) pain affected the quality of sleep of respondents, with 40 percent giving a six, meaning they have difficulty falling asleep, while 3 percent said they could not sleep at all.
Around 40 percent said the pain has persisted for 10 years or more, with 10 percent suffering for 20 years. The longest is 50 years. Over a third said their social life and daily activities have been intensely affected, while a few reported being put off daily activities by the pain.
Twenty-four percent said they have lost or changed jobs, while an overwhelming 60 percent said they are depressed and distressed by their situation. But 41 percent said they do not go for regular medical consultations while 56 percent said they do so only in public hospitals.
http://thestandard.com.hk/news_detail.asp?pp_cat=11&art_id=88759&sid=25604559&con_type=1
-----

Americans appear to actually thrive on adversity, according to a study published this week that reached the conclusion after researching the nation's biggest economic downturn. This sculpture at the FDR Memorial in Washington depicts men waiting in a Great Depression bread line. Life expectancy during the peak years of the Great Depression increased 6.2 years -- from 57.1 years in 1929 to 63.3 years in 1933 -- according to University of Michigan researchers Jose A. Tapia Granados and Ana Diez Roux. The increase applied to men and women, whites and non-whites. "Study points to benefits from Great Depression"
-----

It is widely accepted that approximately 5.7 million of Europe's 7.3 million Jews perished during the war. In total, historians say, between 11 million and 17 million people were killed by the Nazi regime, including religious and political opponents, ethnic Poles, Romani, Jehovah's Witnesses, Soviet civilians and prisoners of war, homosexuals and people with disabilities. Harvard Crimson says Holocaust denial ad published by accident
-----

一位女孩在尋求什麼是寬恕的真諦。她找到了一個非常美好的答案:當鮮花被踐踏時，才能釋放出它的花香來。

A girl was asked what forgiveness is. She gave the following beautiful answer: “It is the odor the flowers give off when they are trampled upon.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 253)
-----

傳教士協會對在非洲獨自英勇奉獻，宣教傳福音的傳教士大衛、利文斯通非常的推崇尊敬。傳教士協會寫了一封信給大衛，信中說:你是否找到了一條服事的捷徑在你所服事的地方。如果是這樣我們將要派遣另一位宣教士加入你的工場。利文斯通回答說:如果你們所派遣的人是因為看見那順境才來，我寧可不要他來，我需要的是一位縱然前面困難重重他仍願意來的人。

A missionary society was deeply impressed by the courageous devotion of David Livingstone who worked single-handedly for God in Africa. The society wrote to Livingstone: “Have you found a good road to where you are? If so, we want to send other men to join you.” Livingstone replied, “If you have men who will come only if there is a good road, I don't want them. I want men who will come if there is no road at all.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 116)
-----

British soldier Phil Packer was told a year ago that he would never walk again. His lower spine was badly injured in the aftermath of a rocket attack on his base in Basra , Iraq , in February 2008. The attack sent a vehicle rolling down a sand bank, striking Packer "head on" and dragging him under it. The 36-year-old was left with no feeling or motor control in his legs, and no bladder or bowel control. Packer was in hospital for more than four months and it was then he decided to complete three challenges to help raise £1 million ($1.5 million) for Help for Heroes, a British charity supporting wounded veterans.

A year later, he rowed the English Channel.15 months later, Maj. Phil Packer finished the London Marathon, completing the race 13 days after it started, walking on crutches for two miles a day -- the most his doctor would allow -- in order to raise money for charity.
Next month he plans to climb El Capitan -- one of America 's iconic mountaineering sites -- a 3,000-foot vertical rock formation in California .
“Man who wouldn't walk again finishes marathon,” CNN May 9, 2009
-----

洛杉磯時報ㄧ個調查顯示，當發生火災時許多人逃生第一個想到要帶的東西是相片。
當你的住宅發生火災時，如果你只能帶一樣東西離開，請問你會帶什麼?
一個由邱伯保險公司所作的調查顯示，半數的人會帶有紀念性的家庭相片，百分之二十的人會帶錢。
另一個經由電話抽樣1000個美國公民的調查發現，百分之十三的人會帶個人電腦，百分之七的人會搶救他們的寵物，還有百分之二的人會帶他們的珠寶。

Many people fleeing fire would save photos first, poll finds
Los Angeles Times, May 3, 2009

If your house were burning down and you could take only one thing with you, what would it be?

A poll commissioned by insurer Chubb Corp. found that nearly half would grab a family photo album, while a fifth would reach for money. The phone survey of 1,000 Americans, conducted by Opinion Research Corp., found that 13% would take a laptop, 7% would bring their pet and 2% would pack their jewelry.
-----

Seadog back from dead
Tuesday, April 07, 2009

獨自在一個孤島上四個月後，在澳洲海邊有一隻從船上落水在風浪中的寵物狗已經歸回牠的主人。，當十一月珍格里菲斯和她的家人在昆士蘭州附近波濤洶湧的水域航行時，索菲塔克，以美國藝人的名字命名的狗，被扔到海裡。這隻狗當時被認為是淹死了，而格里菲斯家庭身心交瘁。
但事實上，這隻澳大利亞家畜狗游泳到八公里外的聖蜜蜂島，在那裡牠吃山羊維生。
牠被遣送回到家是因為當格里菲斯帶著微弱的希望連絡巡警隊告知他們，他們捕獲的狗可能是他們的寵物狗。

A pet dog that fell overboard in rough seas off Australia has been reunited with its owners after surviving alone on an island for four months.
Sophie Tucker, named after a US entertainer, was thrown overboard as Jan Griffith and her family sailed through choppy waters off Queensland in November.
The dog was believed to have drowned and Griffith said the family was devastated.
In fact, the Australian cattle dog was swimming doggedly and made it to St Bees Island, eight kilometers away, where she survived by eating goats.
She was returned to her family when Griffith contacted rangers in the faint hope a dog they had captured might be their pet. AGENCE FRANCE-PRESSE
-----

便雅憫、法蘭克福曾說過:生命中影響我最深的一句話是「有些人會發牢騷說，上帝為何將荊棘放置在玫瑰花中，為何不換另一個角度說:感謝神祂將玫瑰花放置在荊棘裡。」

Benjamin Franklin once said, “The sentence which has most influenced my life is, 'Some persons grumble because God placed thorns among roses. Why not thank God because He placed roses among thorns?' (from Illustrations of Bible Truths)
-----

一個廣為人知的在高原畜牧的人賣了一匹馬給一個英國人。
幾天後，買方回到他那裡。
“你說，那隻馬沒有缺陷。”
“哦，他沒有。”
“他幾乎失明！” 憤怒的英國人說。
“為什麼，那不是牠的缺陷，那是他的不幸。”

A widely known Highland drover sold a horse to an Englishman.

A few days afterward the buyer returned to him.

“You said that horse had no faults.”

“Well, no mair had he.”

“He’s nearly blind!” said the indignant Englishman.

“Why, mon, that’s no’ his fau’t that’s his misfortune.”
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
-----

Various behaviors increase the risk of a driver being in a crash or near-crash:
Activity/Times it increases risk
Reaching for a moving object, such as an item falling - 9
Looking at an external object, other than roadway - 3.7
Reading - 3.4
Applying makeup - 3
Dialing a handheld cellphone - 2.8
The report by the NHTSA and Virginia Tech’s Transportation Institute said nearly 80% of crashes and near-crashes involve driver inattention up to three seconds before the incident.
Sources: National Highway Traffic Safety Administration and Virginia Tech Transportation Institute
-----

一位很有智慧的女人有一次被問道：「在你的生命中，是什麼幫助你勝過大困難? 」這女人回答說，「是其它的困難。」

A wise woman was once asked, “What has helped you overcome the great obstacles of life?”

“The other obstacles,” she replied. Bits and Pieces 3/27/97
-----

一個窮人逐家逐戶去乞討麵包皮，但卻沒有人向他施以憐憫。他受盡侮辱，使他越覺沮喪。
一個寒冷的冬天，他走過濕滑的街道時不慎跌倒，摔斷了腿。於是，他們把他帶到醫院。
當小鎮的人聽說這個貧困的陌生人因腿部骨折而送往醫院，他們開始感到對不起他。有些人去安慰他，有些人買些好東西給他吃。當他出院後，他們提供禦寒的衣服，並給了他一筆錢。
在窮人離開這城市之前，他寫信給他的太太，「讚美神，親愛的太太！一個奇蹟發生了：我摔壞了一條腿！」

No one showed any compassion for the poor man as he went from house to house begging for a crust of bread. Many a door was slammed in his face and he was turned away with insults. Therefore he grew despondent.

One wintry day, as he was trudging through the slippery streets, he fell and broke his leg. Thereupon they took him to a hospital.

When the people of the town heard that a poor stranger had been taken to the hospital suffering from a broken leg, they began to feel very sorry for him. Some went to comfort him, others brought him good things to eat. When he left the hospital they furnished him with warm clothes and gave him a tidy sum of money.

Before the poor man left town he wrote to his wife, “Praise God, dear wife! A miracle happened: I broke a leg!”
-----

從前有一位富翁請了一個管家，這管家每天要為主人到屋外很遠的地方去打井水。管家用的是兩只水桶，其中一只水桶完美無缺，另一只水桶則有一條小裂縫，因此每次即使管家把兩個水桶盛滿，回到主人家也只得到一桶半的水。
那有缺陷的水桶過了一段時間，悶悶不樂，於是對管家說：「我感到非常不快樂，因為每天你打的水都是從我身上漏掉一半，要不是你遭主人責備，便是要你多走幾趟，我這樣無用，為什麼你還要用我？」
管家於是在下次去挑水時請有缺陷的水桶看看，原來在路邊長滿漂亮的鮮花，許多時候，管家都會采擷這些鮮花去點綴一下主人的房間令主人高興。
管家告訴水桶，就是因為見到它的問題，於是在路旁撒下些花種，以後路旁便長滿漂亮的鮮花。
-----

一個船難的生還者正在一個無人居住的小島上洗澡。他竭心禱告神來拯救他，而每一天他為了尋得幫助，總會掃視遠處，但卻沒有看到任何前來的船隻。
感到疲倦，但他始終盡量用漂木建了一個小茅廬來保護他並儲藏屬於他的一些物件。但是有一天，在他四處尋找食物后回到家時，發現他的小茅廬著火了，煙滾滾上雲霄。最糟的事情發生了，什麽東西都沒有了。他在既憂傷又憤怒中愣住了。
他哭着說：「神啊！您怎麽可以對我這樣做？」
不過，隔天很早的時候，他卻被一陣不斷靠近小島的輪船氣笛聲弄醒。它是來拯救他的。
那疲乏的人對拯救他的人說：「您怎麽知道我在這裡？」
他們回答說：「因為我們看到您煙的訊號。」

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island। He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.
Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions.
But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened; everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger.
“God, how could you do this to me!” he cried.
Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him.
“How did you know I was here?” asked the weary man of his rescuers.
“We saw your smoke signal,” they replied.
-----

有一個人夜裡夢見他和耶穌在海邊散步，而生平的往事都一一的浮現，他注意到沙灘上的腳印，大多是兩行，但有時卻只有一行，而且多半是在他最不得意的時候出現，因此他就問主說：「為甚麼每次在我最需要你的時候，你卻總是不與我在一起呢？」耶穌慈聲的回答他說：「孩子！你再詳細的看一看，你所見到只有一行的腳印時，那是我抱著你走啊！」
-----

一個十歲的猶太人男孩數學很不好，他的父母試了很多方法，從為他請家庭教師到催眠，無所不用其極，但都無法使他的數學好起來。最後在一個朋友的堅持下，他們決定將他轉學到一個私立的天主教學校。

第一天上課回家，那男孩帶著非常嚴肅和專注的表情直奔他的房間，安靜地關上門，將近兩個小時，他在房間裡非常用功，書桌上和地上滿是數學書本，很久之後才出來。匆匆忙忙吃完飯，又馬上回到房間，關上門繼續用功直到睡覺時間。這樣的模式一直持續，直到第一學季的成績單出來，男孩把打開的成績單，放在餐桌上，又馬上衝進房間。他的母親小心翼翼地打開成績單，竟然看到男孩的數學成績得到一個大紅色的A。

他母親和他父親狂喜地進入男孩的房間，為他顯著的進步非常興奮。他父親問道：「是不是因為修女的關係？」男孩搖搖頭說不是。「那是不是因為一對一的家教」男孩說：「也不是。」那是課本的關係，還是老師的緣故？還是因為課程改變？男孩都說不是。最後，男孩說：「當我第一天走進前門，看到一個人被釘在加號上面，我就知道他們是玩真的了。」

A ten-year-old Jewish boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis; but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school.

After the first day, the boy’s parents were surprised when he walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his face. He went straight past them, right to his room and quietly closed the door. For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room - with math books strewn about his desk and the surrounding floor. He emerged long enough to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate, went straight back to his room, closed the door and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime. This pattern of behavior continued until it was time for the first quarter’s report card.

The boy walked in with it unopened - laid it on the dinner table and went straight to his room. Cautiously, his mother opened it and, to her amazement, she saw a large red ‘A’ under the subject of Math.

Overjoyed, she and her husband rushed into their son’s room, thrilled at his remarkable progress. “Was it the nuns that did it?” the father asked. The boy shook his head and said “No.” “Was it the one-to-one tutoring? The peer-mentoring?” “No.” “The textbooks? The teachers? The curriculum?” “No”, said the son. “On that first day, when I walked in the front door and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I KNEW they meant business!”
-----

某種程度的反對力量，對一個人而言，是很大的幫助。風箏是逆風，而非順風而上。

A certain amount of opposition is a great help to a person. Kites rise against, not with the wind.
-----

日本年輕作家乙武洋匡(1999)來台，為其著作《五體不滿足》作宣傳，這是一本有關他如何成長的自傳。當他在1976年出生時，可謂驚天動地，因為從沒見過這樣的嬰兒，在醫生的說法稱為「不明原因的先天性四肢切斷」。就是一個沒手沒腳，只有身體和頭的孩子。
雖然天生殘缺，但長大後乙武洋匡告訴自己，也告訴別人：「既然有殘障者做不到的事，應該也有只有殘障者才能做到的事。上天是為了叫我達成這個使命，才賜給我這樣的身體。」「殘障只是我身體的特徵，沒有必要為身體上的特徵而苦惱。」
-----

希臘的亞歷山大大帝於主前336年即位後即率兵攻佔敘利亞、埃及、巴比倫、以色列諸國，不久更成為波斯帝國的統治者，名震世界。

當他凱旋回國時，請一個畫家替他畫像，亞歷山大站好了姿勢，畫家立刻動筆。當他畫完頭部時，突然停了下來，對這位百勝將軍說：「將軍，請讓我拿一條白色絲巾，把你頸部圍起來，因為你頸部有一個很明顯的刀疤。」亞歷山大聽後大聲回答說：「請照我原本的樣子畫！因為刀疤是我的榮譽，不是什麼可羞恥的事。」
-----

Quotes引證 :
很多人，當然包括我自己，在事情順利如意時，表現出令人震驚出人意外的智慧。但當世界陷入混亂時，你會發現這些所謂的智慧百分之七十五是假的，是騙人的。
A lot of people, certainly myself included, show shocking intelligence when things are going well. Then you discover that intelligence was 75 per cent phoney when the world goes to hell. Tom Peters, scmp.com 5/2/09

煩惱像嬰兒,只有在你呵護他們時才會成長。
Troubles are like babies. They grow only when you nurse them.

別打擾煩惱直到煩惱打擾你。
Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you.

When the tide goes out we get to see who is not wearing a bathing suit. Warren Buffet

You cannot always control what happens to you, but you can control what
happens in you.

What happens to you speaks of your circumstances.
What happens in you speaks of your character.
What happens through you speaks of your charisma.

Falling is easier than rising. Irish

My worst day in office was better than my father’s best day. Alberto Gonzales

If you want a rainbow you have to put up with the rain.

There are two times I feel stress--day and night. Anonymous

The light at the end of a tunnel may be an oncoming train. Anonymous

The block of granite that is an obstacle in the path of the weak becomes a stepping stone in the path of the strong. Thomas Carlyle

God promises a safe passage, not a clam passage.

Wise are they who have learned these truths - Trouble is Temporary, Time is a Tonic, Tribulation is a Test Tube. W.A.Ward

Some people change their ways when they see the light; others when they feel the heat. Caroline Schoeder

Never attempt to bear more than one kind of trouble at once. Some people bear three kinds - all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have.

Life is the only school where you take the test first, then learn the lesson.

We can stand affliction better than we can prosperity, for in prosperity we forget God. Dwight L. Moody

Strength and courage aren’t always measured in medals and victories. They are measured in the struggles we overcome. The strongest people aren’t always the people who win but the people who don’t give up when they lose.

Be thankful for problems. If they were less difficult, someone with less ability might have you job.

All the world will beat the man whom fortune buffets. Portuguese proverb

It is easier to stay out of trouble than to get out of trouble. Live and Learn

The worst pain is watching someone else in pain. Live and Learn

A diamond is just a piece of coal that made good under pressure.

Name one commodity where supply always exceeds demand. Trouble (Betsy Devine and Joel E. Cohen) Bits and Pieces 3/27/97

Adversity is often the mother of invention.

Winners are like tea bags. You never see their true strength until they’re in hot water.

Alertness 儆醒，Anger 憤怒，Attitude 態度，Authenticity 真實

2007-11-18T23:58:00.005-08:00

ALERTNESS 儆醒
「現在，哈樂」教師問：「若這裡有十一隻羊在田裡，有六隻跳出了圍欄，郡還有多少隻留下呢？」，哈樂回答：「一隻也沒有」老師回答說：「為什麼！那裡還有啊！」「不是！嗯…那裡沒有羊的了，」他堅持的說：「妳對數學很有認識，但妳絕對不認識羊呢…」。(更多的吐司，格杜達‧史丹)

“Now, Harold,” said the teacher, “if there were eleven sheep in a field and six jumped the fence how many would there be left?”

“None,” replied Harold.

“Why, but there would,” said she.

“No, ma’am, there wouldn’t,” persisted he. “You may know arithmetic, but you don’t know sheep.”
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
-----

闖入:
小偷闖進入民家的慣常管道之比例是，
儲藏室-2%
二樓-2%
未上鎖的入口- 4%
地下室- 4%
車庫- 9%
後門-22%
一樓窗口-23%
前門- 34%

Breaking in:
Most common places that burglars enter homes
Storage homes – 2%,
2nd floor – 2%,
Unlocked entrance – 4
Basement – 4
Garage – 9
Back door – 22
1st floor window – 23
Front door – 34%
Source: National Burglar and Fire Alarm Asso. USA Today 5/23/07
-----

Dale Carnegie述說一個關於兩位伐木工人的故事，甲君整天勞苦工作，除了中午用餐稍息沒有沒有一刻休息.乙君一天中休息了好幾次，午餐後小睡了片刻.再工作。
黃昏的時候甲看到乙所砍伐得的木材比他更多非常難過，
他說，「我真不明白，每一次我轉頭你總是坐下來，為何你比我收穫更多呢？」
乙回答說：「你有沒有注意到?當我坐下來的我總是磨利伐木的斧頭. 」
-----

準備
有個樵夫每天都上山砍柴，他非常地勤勞，一年到頭難得休息。但是後來他發現，他砍的柴愈來愈少，工作愈來愈吃力，他感到非常苦惱。有個朋友發現了他的困境，為他查究原因，原來他的斧頭長久的使用，已經鈍了。於是這個朋友告訴樵夫：「我想你應該先把斧頭磨利了，再繼續工作。」樵夫不以為然的說：「哎！老兄，你看我這麼辛苦，才砍這麼一點兒柴，再花時間精力去磨斧頭，不是砍得更少了嗎？」
-----

Quotes引證 :
不要相信每一件有聽到的事；
不要論斷每一件你看到的事
不要做每一件你能夠的事；
不要給出每一件你擁有的東西；
不要說每一件事你都懂。

Do not believe everything you hear
Do not judge everything you see
Do not do everything you can
Do not give everything you have
Do not say everything you know. Saint Bernard

**********************************************************

ANGER 憤怒
一個父親想示范給他的兒子「憤怒」與「激怒」之間的區別。他就查到了一個傲慢的長期票往返者的電話號碼，他只知道這人的名字和口碑而已，於是他撥了那號碼。當電話另一頭那男人回電話時，這位父親問道：「請問是阿道夫嗎？」「這裡沒有阿道夫。你不可以在晚上這時候打擾別人前先弄對號碼嗎？」那男人在另一頭吼道。

「其實只不過是小小的麻煩而已。」這父親放下電話說道。「我們等幾分鐘，你就會聽到不同的。」足足有一間斷過後，這父親撥了同樣的號碼，又問道「阿道夫在碼？」這次那邊的人真地朝電話尖叫到「你出了什麼問題!瘋了嗎？我告訴你查一下號碼，不要煩我!」當接線那頭的人一摔下電話，這父親說：「現在那家伙是發怒了，再過幾分鐘我要讓你看我所說的激怒，相比發怒是什麼意思。」大約過了比15分鐘，這父親第三次撥了那電話號碼，當同樣那位男人在另一頭回答時，這父親幾乎慶賀式的說：「你好，這是阿道夫，在剛才約半小時內有我的留言嗎？」

A father wanted to illustrate to his son the difference between “anger” and “exasperation.” He looked up the phone number of a pompous fellow commuter whom he knew only by name and reputation, and he dialed the number. When the call was answered by the man, the father asked, “Is Adolph there?” “There’s no Adolph here. Why don’t you get the right number before bothering people this hour of the night?” roared the man on the other end.

“Now that,” said the father when he put down the phone, “was simply annoyance. We’ll wait a few minutes, and then you’ll hear something.” After a decent interval, the father dialed the same number and again asked, “Is Adolph there?” This time the other party literally screamed into the phone, “What’s the matter with you, are you crazy? I told you to look up the number and stop bothering me!” Whereupon the receiver at the other end was slammed down. “Now that fellow was angry,” said the father. “In a few minutes I will show you what I mean by exasperation compared to anger.” After 15 minutes or so, the father dialed the same number for the third time, and when the same man answered at the other end, the father said almost cheerily, “Hello, this is Adolph. Have there been any messages for me during the past half hour or so?”
-----

美國前總統雷根雖風度翩翩，但偶爾生氣時也會摔東西，弄得滿屋子小東西橫飛。所幸，他會很快恢復正常。有回他面諭屬下說：是這樣的，我老早知道，生氣而想摔東西的時候，最好摔在眼前，以免氣消之後，要繞一大圈來收拾東西。
-----

一位姊妹有一次對佈道家畢利桑戴說，她雖然脾氣不好，但是她生氣永遠不會超過一分鐘。桑戴牧師說：「手槍的爆炸，也僅不過一秒鐘而已，但妳知道手槍的殺傷力究竟有多麼大！」
-----

Quotes引證 :
Those who hate you don’t win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself. Richard Nixon

If there’s bitterness in the heart, sugar in the mouth won’t make life sweeter. Yiddish

Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be. Thomas Kempis

He who angers you, controls you!

If you allow someone to make you angry, you have let them to conquer you. Live and Learn 54

Hatred is like acid it destroys the vessel that holds it. Live and Learn 56

If an angry man were to raise the dead, because of his anger, he would not please God. Abbot Agatho

當你在怒氣上說話時，你會講最會令你後悔的話。
Speak when you’re angry, and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.

憤怒是惟一應當推遲到明天的事情。
Anger is the only thing to put off till tomorrow.

你不可以握捏緊拳頭的手。(甘地)
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. Indira Gandhi

真理常從她的捍衛者之激烈受的苦，超過從她的反對者的爭辯。(威廉彭)
Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders, than from the arguments of its opposers. William Penn

**********************************************************

ATTITUDE 態度
一個人跳躍上了一架的士，並且趕著去機場。當他們的車在正確嗣上方向前往之際，突然，一架黑色車輛從泊車空地衝出停在的士前，的士司機猛然剎停車子，車子立時打轉，並發出刺耳的剎車聲，在最後一刻，車子停在與那車尾，而相距只有一吋，那司機拍打著自己的頭並吼叫說…
而的士司機只微笑及對那小伙子揮手，還有，他是友善的。那的士乘客問：「何解你這樣做？那人可能殺了我們呢！這時的士司機告訴我此刻叫什麼，「廢料貨卡車法例。」他解釋「很多人都像廢料貨卡車，他們載滿了廢料亂跑，充滿了沮喪，充滿了忿怒，及充滿了失望。因為他們的廢料堆積如山，他們尋找一個傾倒的地方，若你讓他們倒下，他們就傾倒在你身上。所以當有些人想傾倒在你身上時，不要當他面前拿走它，只需微笑，揮手，祝福他們，然後離開…」。
因此我開始想，我怎樣讓廢料貨卡車正確倒在自己身上？與及我時常怎樣拿人們的廢料和延伸到人的工作，在家，或在街上？那底線是「不要讓廢料貨卡車在你的每日除處跑。」

A man hopped in a taxi, and took off for the airport. They were driving in the right lane when suddenly, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of the taxi. The taxi driver slammed on the brakes, the car skidded, tires squealed, and at the very last moment the car stopped just one inch from the other car’s back-end.…The driver of the other car…whipped his head around and he started yelling words…

The taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And, he was friendly. So, the passenger asked, “Why did you just do that!? This guy could have killed us!” And this is when the taxi driver told me what I now call, “The Law of the Garbage Truck™.” He explained: “Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you. So when someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.…”

So I started thinking, how often do I let garbage trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the street? The bottom line is, “Don’t let garbage trucks ruin your day.” David J. Pollay
-----

專家對人的憂慮作了估算：百分之四十所憂慮的事根本不會發生；百分之三十憂慮的事已成過去；世上所有憂慮的事都是無法改變的；百分之十二是我們不需擔心的健康問題；百分之十的是雞毛蒜皮的小事。只剩下百分之八才是我們本當要去關注和思考的。百分之九十二的憂慮的事是根本不會發生。劃分出剩余百分之八你所憂慮的。不要讓百分之八的憂慮控制了你的生活! (Edward Chinn， Pastor， All Saints Church， Philadelphia， PA) Preaching Sep-Oct 91.

Experts have made estimates of our worries: 40% of our worries will never happen. 30% or our worries are past; all the worry in the world cannot change them. 12% of our worries are needless worries about health; 10% of our worries are petty, miscellaneous worries. This leaves 8% for things that legitimately deserve our concern and thought. 92% of the things you worry about will never happen. Sort out the remaining 8% of your worries.” Do not let 8% of your worries control your life! (Edward Chinn, Pastor, All Saints Church, Philadelphia, PA) Preaching Sep-Oct 91.
-----

在1930年代美國遭受經濟大蕭條期間，一個中西部的家庭連吃飯都成了問題。他們沒有錢用於奢侈享受。一天全鎮貼滿了海報，公佈有一個馬戲團要來。入場費是一美元。家裏的一個男孩想看表演，但他父親告訴他必須靠自己掙這錢。這少年從來沒有看過馬戲團，所以格外積極的幹活並掙到了一張票。

當馬戲團來的那天，他去看表演者和動物在鎮裏的遊行。正當他觀看時，一個小丑來到他面前跳舞，那男孩就把那張票放進了小丑的手中。隨後他就站在街旁，歡呼雀躍的看剩餘的隊伍走過去。少年人沖回家告訴他父親說那個馬戲團是如何的令人興奮。他父親聼后，就抱着他兒子，説道，「兒啊，你還沒有看馬戲，你所看到的只是入場的遊行。」（每日靈糧 12/3/95）

During the great Depression that hit the United States in the 1930s, a family in the Midwest struggled to put food on their table. They had no money for luxuries.

One day posters all over town announced that a circus was coming. Admission would be $1. A boy in the family wanted to see the show, but his father told him he would have to earn the money on his own. The youngster had never seen a circus before, so he worked feverishly and was able to buy a ticket.

On the day the circus arrived, he went to see the performers and the animals parade through town. As he watched, a clown came dancing over to him, and the boy put his ticket in the clown’s hand. Then he stood on the curb and cheered as the rest of the parade moved by.

The youngster rushed home to tell his parents what he has seen and how exciting the circus was. His father listened, then took his son in his arms and said, “Son, you didn’t see the circus. All you saw was the parade.” (Daily Bread 12/3/95)
-----

從前有一只老鼠，他又一個非常漂亮的女兒。他想將她嫁出去，但不嫁給老鼠。一天，他看到太陽閃耀，就說「啊，可有配得上我女孩的新郎了！」他走進太陽的宮殿請求道「太陽，你願意娶我的女兒爲妻嗎？我實在不能將她嫁給你以外的人了，你是如此強壯英俊。」「哦，天啊，」太陽回答，「我並非如你想象的那樣強壯。找那邊的云吧，當他們經過我這裡時，我就變昏暗，力所不能。試試他們，他們比我強。」

老鼠非常生氣。接著他前去云那裏，但云回答道，「你看到北風了嗎？當他一吹，我們便四散，無法將我們再回到一處。試試北風吧！」
於是老鼠帶他女兒到北風那裏，並告訴來由。「我會樂意娶你漂亮的女兒，親愛的老鼠，」北風回答道，「但我正好不是你所認爲的那樣。找那尖塔吧，你看到了嗎? 我吹了四十年，都從未能將他吹倒。」他就去找尖塔，提了同樣的請求，但尖塔對他說，「老鼠，老鼠，你聽到我墻裏面有一種尖銳的聲音了嗎？你想那是什麽？老鼠在吃掉我，將我推倒。世上沒有比老鼠更勇敢強壯的了，不管別人怎麽說。」

There was once a mouse who had a very pretty daughter. He wanted to marry her off, but not to a mouse. One day, he saw the sun shining and said, “Ah! There’s a groom fit for my little girl.” He went to the sun’s palace and requested, “Sun, will you take my daughter as your wife? I could not bring myself to give her to anyone else but you, so strong and handsome as you are.” “Oh, dear me,” said the sun, “I’m not the strongest thing as you think I am. Take those clouds over there-if they pass over me, I grow dark and can do nothing at all about it. Try them, they are better than me.”

The mouse was very unhappy. Next, he approached the clouds but the clouds replied, You see the North Wind? When he blows, we are scattered all over the place, and can’t put ourselves together again. Try the North Wind.”
Then the mouse took his daughter to the North Wind, and told him why he had come. “I should be happy, my dear mouse, to take your pretty daughter,” answered the North Wind, “but I don’t happen to be what you take me for. Try that tower over there. You see it? I blew for forty years, I’d never blow it down.” He went to the tower and made the same proposal, but the tower said to him, “Mouse, mouse, do you hear a sort of groaning inside my walls? What do you suppose it is? The mice are eating me up and all but throwing me over. There’s none in the world bolder and stronger than mice, whatever anyone may say.”
-----

一個男子跟著一個婦女出了電影院。她牽着一只狗。他攔住她說道，「恕我勞駕你，我發覺你的狗真的很投入這部電影。在恰當的地方它會哭，在枯燥的地方它在座椅上焦躁不安，但最多的是它對滑稽的部分笑得像瘋了般。你有沒有發覺這很不一般？」「是的，」那婦女回答道，「我發覺它非常不一般…因爲它討厭這本書。」

A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I couldn’t help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Did you find that unusual??” “Yes,” she replied, “I found it very unusual ...because he hated the book!”
-----

你無法贏。如果你追逐金錢，你是物資主義者。如果你沒有掙到，你是個失敗者。如果你掙到了並保存起來，你是個守財奴。如果你沒有想去掙，你缺乏雄心。如果你掙到了並花了它，你是個浪費者。如果工作一輩子后仍擁有它，你是個從沒有享受過生活的傻瓜。

You can’t win. If you run after money, you’re materialistic. If you don’t get it, you’re a loser. If you get it and keep it, you’re a miser. If you don’t try to get it, you lack ambition. If you get it and spend it, you’re a spendthrift. If you still have it after a lifetime of work, you’re a fool who never got any fun out of life.
-----

一個男士回到一家寵物店，幾星期前他從這裡買了一只鸚鵡，他說，「你真是腦筋有問題才賣給我這只講話的鸚鵡。」店主十分驚訝，因爲他仍記得這位顧客當時非常堅持要買一只會講話的鸚鵡。
「出了什麽問題？」店主問，「這鳥兒不講話？」
「噢，它說的不錯。」鳥的主人回答，「但你怎能跟一只會譏諷人的鸚鵡共處呢？」
「我不是很明白。」寵物店店主回答。
「這樣子，」那男士說，「當我把它帶回家，足足一星期每天早上我站在它籠子外，說‘你會講話嗎？’足足一星期，我沒有得到回應。於是一天早上我真的很厭煩，便說‘蠢蛋，你怎麽啦？’那鸚鵡朝我看着，說‘我會講話，不錯，你會飛嗎？’」(Toastmaster General’s Favorite Jokes 173， George Jessel， Castle Books)

A man went back to the pet shop where he had purchased a parakeet several weeks before and said, “You have a hell of a nerve selling me that talking parakeet.” The owner was rather surprised, since he remembered this particular customer because he had been so insistent about buying a talking parakeet.

“What’s the matter?” asked the owner. “Won’t the bird talk?”

“Oh, he talks all right,” replied the bird’s owner, “but how would you like to live with a sarcastic parakeet?”

“I don’t think I quite understand,” replied the owner of the pet store.

“Well,” said the man, “when I took the bird home, every morning for a solid week I would stand outside his cage and say, ‘Can you talk?’ and for a solid week I got no answer. So one morning I was relay disgusted, and I said, ‘What’s the matter stupid? Can’t you talk?’ And that parakeet looked at me and said, ‘I can talk , all right, but can you fly?’” (Toastmaster General’s Favorite Jokes 173, George Jessel, Castle Books)
-----

兩個真僧沿著一條泥濘、有雨水溝的路行走，他們遇到了一位可愛的婦人，正要跨過一個大的淤泥坑。老和尚在婦人邊停下來，將她抱起來，過了那坑，他將她輕輕的放下到路的乾地上，年輕和尚暗暗戀慕她的魅力。
像這位婦人鞠躬行禮后，這兩位和尚繼續走在這條泥濘的路上。年輕和尚一路上蔭沉着臉不説話。他們走過山嶺，下到山谷，穿過市鎮，走到森林樹木底下。最後，很多時辰過後，那年輕和尚罵那老和尚，「你是…如此的僞君子…一點不錯…知道我們和尚是不摸女人的！你爲何抱那女孩？」
老和尚慢慢轉過身，笑了。他說，「親愛的小師兄，你想得過重了！我好幾個時辰之前將那路邊的女子舉起來，你爲何現在還帶着她不放呢？」(Heather Forest， Wisdom Tales form Around the World， August House， Bits and Pieces 3/27/97)

As two Zen monks walked along a muddy, rain-drenched road, they came upon a lovely woman attempting to cross a large mud-puddle. The elder monk stopped beside the woman, lifted her in his arms, and carried her across the puddle. He set her down gently on the dry ridge of the road as the younger monk discreetly admired her charms.
After bowing politely to the woman, the two monks continued down the muddy road. The younger monk was sullen and silent as they walked along. They traveled over the hills, down the valleys, through a town, and under forest trees. At last, after many hours had passed, the younger monk scolded the elder, “You are aware that we monks do not touch women! Why did you carry that girl?”
The elder monk slowly turned and smiled. He said, “My dear young brother, you have such heavy thoughts! I left them the woman alongside the road hours ago. Why are you still carrying her?” (Heather Forest, Wisdom Tales form Around the World, August House, Bits and Pieces 3/27/97)
-----

話説他們建了一座新的教堂，人們從遠處四方趕來觀看。他們孜孜讚嘆它的美麗。在房頂方，一根小釘子聽到人們的讚賞這結構的每一處，唯獨沒有它！甚至無人知道它在那裏，於是它生氣並嫉妒。
「如果我不重要，我離職了沒有人會記得我的！」於是這釘子松了鉚，從房頂滑下來，掉在泥地上。
那晚上雨不停的下，很快，沒有釘子的那片瓦被沖走，房頂開始漏水。水一條條地進入牆壁和漂亮的壁畫。
粉刷開始剝落，地毯被弄髒，講臺上的聖經被水毀壞了。所有這些都是因爲一根小釘子決定離職！
但是那釘子會怎樣？當它釘住瓦片時，它是隱藏的但卻如此有用。埋在泥地裏它一樣是隱藏的，可現在它是無用的，很快被鐵銹吞滅！

As the story goes, they built a new church building and people came from far and wide to see it. They admired its beauty! Up on the roof, a little nail heard the people praising everything about the lovely structure-except the nail! No one even knew he was there, and he became angry and jealous.

“If I am that insignificant, nobody will miss me if I quit!” So the nail then released its hold, slid down the roof, and fell in the mud.

That night it rained and rained. Soon, the shingle that had no nail blew away, and the roof began to leak. The water streaked the walls and the beautiful murals.
The plaster began to fall, the carpet was stained, and the pulpit Bible was ruined by water. All this because a little nail decided to quit!

But what of the nail? While holding the shingle, it was obscure but it was also useful. Buried in the mud it was just as obscure, but now it was useless and would soon be eaten up by rust!
-----

Quotes引證 :
電影製作時耐性比才能重要，假如你希望你所製作的影片，所呈現出來是獨一無二，與別人不一樣時。這種耐性與毅力，就要像騾默默耕耘那樣愚行般的蠻力，及厚厚的皮那般愚蠢的不怕羞恥。
Talent is less important in filmmaking than patience. If you really want your films to say something that you hope is unique, then patience and stamina, thick skin and a kind of stupidity, a mule-like stupidity, is what you really need. Terry Gilliam

當我們在長途行軍時，最好的座右銘就是「閉口，不要發牢騷」。
The best motto in the long march is "Don't grumble. Plug on." Frederick Treves

樂觀者在災難中看到機會。悲觀者在機會中看到災難。
An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity. A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.

Creativity is the ability to say things in an unusual way.
Confidence is the ability to do things in an unusual way.

Do more than exist – Live!
Do more than touch – Feel!
Do more than look – Observe!
Do more than read – Absorb!
Do more than hear – Listen!
Do more than listen – Understand!
Do more than think – Reflect!
Do more than just talk – Say Something!

當一個人怎麽玩遊戲表現了他品格的一部分，他怎麽輸表現了他品格的全部。
How a man plays a game shows something of his character, how he loses shows all of it.

**********************************************************

AUTHENTICITY 真實

一個名叫Shirley的女人心臟病發作被推進醫院。在手術臺上，Shirley經歷了臨死經驗。她看到上帝站在她旁邊，她問，「就這樣了嗎？」上帝說，「不，親愛的孩子，你還有30年可活。」當她康復后，Shirley明白了，既然還有30年可活，就該最好地活。於是她留在醫院裏，做了膠原注射，臉頰植入，拉皮，吸脂減肥並隆胸。最後，她甚至請來一個美容師來醫院到她房間為她染了頭髮。
當Shirley離開醫院，她被一輛超速的汽車撞上，當場死亡。立刻她發現自己站在天堂的上帝面前，Shirley問他，「你不是告訴我還可以活30年嗎？」
拍一下他的前額，上帝喊道「Shirley! 我沒有認出是你！」

A woman named Shirley had a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital.
While on the operating table, Shirley had a near-death experience. Seeing God standing beside her, Shirley asked, “Is this it?” God said, “No, dear child, you have another 30 years to live.” Upon her recovery, Shirley figured, since she had another 30 years of life, she might as well make the most of it. So she stayed in the hospital and had collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction and breast augmentation. To top it off, she even had a beautician come to her hospital room and dye her hair. As Shirley left the hospital, she was struck by a speeding car and died instantly. When she suddenly found herself standing in front of God in heaven, Shirley asked Him, “Didn’t you tell me I had another 30 years?”
Slapping His forehead, God exclaimed, “Shirley! I didn’t recognize you!”
-----

一個新教派的人搬家到一個都是天主教徒的一個社區。作爲天主教徒，他們歡迎了他的到來。但是，作爲他們知道作爲一名好的天主教徒在星期五是不可以吃肉的。有一個星期五的晚上，這個新搬來的鄰居在烤肉，他們開始感覺不安。他們很煩惱，就和這位新鄰居講這件事。經過這群人的勸導，這位他成爲了一位天主教徒。第二個星期天，他來到牧師面前，牧師往他身上滴水並說，你生是一名新教徒，並作爲一名新教徒成長，但現在你已經是一名天主教徒了。就這樣，又到了下個星期五，在設區里，大家都坐著吃魚，這時，從這位新教徒家那邊傳來了一股烤牛肉的味道。他們過去同他講說，你知道在星期五你是不應該吃肉的。他們看到這位新教徒正在用番茄醬滴到牛肉上面並說，你生是一頭牛，長是一頭牛，但現在你是一條魚！

A Protestant moved into a completely Catholic community. Being good Catholics they welcomed him into their community. But, also because they were good Catholics they did not eat red meat on Fridays. So when their neighbor began barbecuing some juicy steak on Friday night, they began to squirm. They were so annoyed that they went to talk to him about it. After much talk they convinced him to become Catholic. The next Sunday he went to the priest and the priest sprinkled holy water on him and said, “You were born Protestant. You were raised Protestant. But now you are Catholic.” And so, the next Friday, as the neighbors sat down to eat their fish, they were disturbed by the smell of roast beef coming from the neighboring house. They went over to talk to the new Catholic because he knew he was not supposed to eat beef on Fridays. When they saw him, he was sprinkling ketchup on the beef saying, “You were born a cow. You were raised a cow. But now you are fish.”

-----

童話裹有一個故事說:古時代在一大山上有一隻老虎，牠很喜歡喫人肉。天使告訴牠: 「你以後絕對不可喫人肉，若再喫，我馬上打死你。」虎答: 「好！」以後牠只咬死小動物來滿足肚子。過三年，天使再來時，老虎請求天使說「我三年之久沒喫過人肉，現在非常愛喫人肉，讓我喫吧！」天使說「好，但是基督徒你絕對不可喫。」虎回答說「好」後來虎很歡喜下了山，跑到一個禮拜堂前，看見一個人帶聖經，吟詩很快樂的樣子。老虎上前聞那個人，全身都沒有基督徒氣味，只有嘴有一點基督徒的氣味，所以留下嘴、全身的肉都喫掉了。天使又降臨來了，責備老虎怎樣喫那個人?老虎說「這個人只有嘴有基督徒的氣味，所以我留著嘴，其他的都份都喫掉了。」（楊信德，《新約聖經一般故事講道集》）
-----

帕格尼尼（Pogenini）是一位善於拉小提琴的大音樂家。一次演奏會中，他出來站在听眾面前，在喝采聲下，忽然發現他手中所拿的小提琴有點不對。仔細一看，發覺他所拿的，并不是他平日珍愛的那個貴重的提琴。他發了一回呆，然后不得不告訴他的听眾，他拿錯了琴。他退了下去，在幕后尋思他的琴到底留在什么地方，不久就發覺有人把他的琴偷了去，換了一架破舊的琴留在原處。他懊喪了一回，仍然出來，站在听眾面前說﹕「諸位男女來賓，今天我要證明給諸位看﹕音樂并不是在樂器里，乃是在人心里。」他就用心來奏，從那破舊的樂器裡流露出悠揚悅耳的音樂來，聽眾個個受到感動，采聲差不多振動了屋瓦。他果然向他們證實了音樂並不是在樂器裡，乃是在他心裡。
-----

Quotes引證 :
Be who you are and say what you mean because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter. Dr. Seuss

Imitation is a confession of limitation. (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)

Bible 聖經，Brotherhood 弟兄

2007-11-18T23:58:00.003-08:00

BIBLE 聖經
一個牧師在準備他的講道時有點鬆懈。他的會眾立刻就察覺到他最近的講道不如從前的講道「肉」那麼多。後來那牧師在講台上發現一個匿名的字條：「先生，我們願意見耶穌」(約12：21) 。他就深刻地反省自己，殷勤地讀聖經並按他以前徹底下功夫研究和預備講章。星期天的早上，效果確顯出了進步。不久，他又在講台發現另一張字條，說：「門徒看見主，就喜樂了」 (約20：20)。

A preacher was getting a little careless in his preaching preparation. His people noticed that there wasn't as much "meat" as there had been before. The preacher found an anonymous note in the pulpit which said simply: "Sir， we would like to see Jesus."
He took the note to heart， began reading the Bible more fervently and returned to his former and more thorough study habits for sermon preparation. It showed in what he produced on Sunday morning. Not long thereafter， he found another note in the pulpit. It said: "Then were the disciples glad when they saw the Lord."
-----

很久以前，在一個地方住了一個年長的百萬富翁，他有四個侄兒。希望其中一個作他的繼承人，於是他測試他們的聰明。
他給每人一張$ 100.00的鈔票，並要求它們隱藏這張鈔票一年在紐約市。
任何一個能在年底前成功找到隱藏的鈔票將可分得遺產。一年過去，四個侄兒逐一報告。
第一個深感懊惱，告訴他如何把他的鈔票放在最強大和可靠的保險箱金庫，但不幸的是，被聰明的小偷打破和盜了去。
第二個，把鈔票交由他以為可靠的真正朋友保管。但已證明這朋友是不可信的，並且花了這筆錢。
第三個隱藏了他的鈔票在他的房間地板的隙縫中，但卻被老鼠咬碎來造巢。
第四個侄兒則冷靜地拉長他的$ 100.00鈔票，就如之前給他的一樣。
他的叔叔問：「你把它隱藏在哪裡？。」
「太容易了！我粘在酒店的聖經中」。卡羅林•韋爾斯。

Once upon a time there lived an elderly millionaire who had four nephews. Desiring to make one of these his heir, he tested their cleverness.

He gave to each a $100.00 bill, with the request that they hide the bills for a year in the city of New York.

Any of them who should succeed in finding the hidden bill at the end of the year should share in the inheritance.

The year being over, the four nephews brought their reports.

The first, deeply chagrined, told how he had put his bill in the strongest and surest safe deposit vault, but, alas, clever thieves had broken in and stolen it.

The second had put his in charge of a tried and true friend. But the friend has proved untrustworthy and had spent the money.

The third had hidden his bill in a crevice in the floor of his room, but a mouse had nibbled it to bits to build her nest.

The fourth nephew calmly produced his $100.00 bill, as crisp and as fresh as when it had been given him.

“And where did you hide it?” asked his uncle.

“Too easy! I stuck it in a hotel bible.”

Carolyn Wells.
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)

**********************************************************

BROTHERHOOD 弟兄
宋朝時，有兩兄弟為了遺產，到知縣衙門裏去打官司。
知縣是一位清官，在問明原委後，就拿出一支鞭子遞給弟弟，說：「你哥哥太不近人情了，他沒有愛護弟弟的心，你替我打他。」。
知縣又拿出一支鞭子遞給哥哥，說：「你弟弟太不尊重你，他沒有敬重兄長之心，你也替我懲罰他。」
兩兄弟呆呆的站著，說不出一句話。知縣就催促著：「快點打！你們還要一面打，一面叫『哥哥！』『弟弟！』。
兩兄弟相視了一陣，終於開口：「哥哥！」「弟弟！」知縣在一旁催著：「還要大聲點！」「哥哥！」「弟弟！」「....」叫著叫著，兩個人的眼眶紅了，最後叫聲變成了哭聲，他倆終於相擁大哭。兄弟之愛化解了一切冤仇。
-----

有一句哲言說：「我尋找我的靈魂，但我看不見它；我尋找上帝，但我的上帝躲避我；我尋找我的弟兄，就三個都找到了。」(“I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see. I sought my God, but my God eluded me. I sought my brother and I found all three.” ~Author Unknown)
-----

主日學老師正在教小朋友關於十誡。

當她解釋完當「孝敬」父母的誡命後，問小朋友們：「那聖經上有沒有什麼誡命是關於我們的兄弟姊妹呢？」
一個小男孩（家中最年長的）

立刻搶著回答：「有，不可殺人！」
-----

一位登山客，步行到喜馬拉雅山，路途遙遠，山路非常難行，空氣稀薄，他雖然攜帶很少的行李，但沿途走來，還是舉步維艱，氣喘如牛。他走走停停，不斷往前遙望，希望目的地趕快出現眼在前。就在他的前方，他看到一個小女孩，年紀不會超過十歲，她的背上揹著一個胖嘟嘟的小男孩，也正緩慢地向前移動。她喘氣得很厲害，也一直在流汗，可是她的雙手還是緊緊呵護著背上的小孩。這位登山客經過小女孩的身邊，很同情地對小女孩說：「孩子，你背得那麼重，妳一定很疲倦！」小女孩聽了很不高興地說：「你背的是一個包袱，但我背的不是一個包袱，他是我弟弟。」
-----

猶太人中間流傳著一個關於耶路撒冷聖殿的位置是怎樣決定的美麗傳說。從前有兩個兄弟比鄰而居，其中一個是兒女成群而另一個依舊孓然獨身o一天晚上，有家室的那個兄弟輾轉難眠，他心裹想著：「我的兄弟仍是孤家寡人，他不像我得享天倫之樂，不如趁他睡覺的時候，我偷偷拿一些禾捆到他田裡」o而就在同時，另一個兄弟心裏也盤算著：「我的兄弟一人要養活一家大小，他所需的花費遠遠超過我，不如趁他睡覺的時候，我搬一些剛收成的禾捆到他田裡」。結果這兩個兄弟，各自起身。著禾捆往鄰近自己兄弟的田裡走去，結果兩人在雙方田園的分界線上不期而遇，兄弟兩人感動地彼此相擁而泣。而他們相遇的地點就是多年之後耶路撒冷聖殿的祭壇所在之處。

Character 品德，Child 小孩，Christlikeness 基督化，Church 教會

2007-11-18T23:58:00.001-08:00

CHARACTER 品德
1891年，一個鐵路公司因著有人在穿越平交道被火車撞死而挨告。控方律師詢問當時值夜班的平交道看守人：『你是否當時在值班？』這名看守人的回答是很肯定的。『你是否有一個照明燈？』他的回答仍然是很肯定的。『你是否搖晃你的照明燈？』他的回答仍然一樣。因著這名看守人有利的證詞，控方輸掉了這個案子。鐵路公司的總經理向這名看守人道賀，並且告訴他，他的證詞為公司省了很多錢，公司將會獎勵他。之後，總經理問這名看守人：『你在作證的時候會緊張嗎？』看守人回答說：『先生，我有些害怕他們會問我是否有點燃我的照明燈。』

In 1891 a train company was being sued because a person had been killed at a train crossing. The plaintiff’s lawyer interrogated the night watchman at the crossing. When asked if he was on duty, he responded in the affirmative.
“Did you have a lantern?” Again the answer was yes.
“Did you wave the lantern?” Again the same answer. His testimony was so convincing that the plaintiff lost the case. Afterwards, the president of the company congratulated the watchman, telling him that his testimony had saved the company a great deal of money, and that he would be compensated accordingly. The president then asked the watchman, “Were you nervous on the stand?”
“Well, sir, I was a bit afraid they would ask if my lantern was lit.”
-----

一個父親告訴他的兒子：『待人要有禮貌，甚至是對待那些對你不好的人。記得，你對人友善，並不是因為他們是友善的人，而是你自己是友善的人。』

“My boy,” said a father to his son, “treat everybody with politeness, even those who are rude to you; remember, you show courtesy to others, not because they are gentlemen, but because you are one.”
-----

好多年以前，有一個周六的文學欣賞節目，播出了一個卡通。在那卡通裡面，喬治華盛頓拿著一把斧頭站著。在他的前面，是一顆著名的櫻桃樹躺在地上。喬治華盛頓很驕傲的承認了是他幹的，因為他不會說謊。但是，他的父親站在那裡很生氣的說：『很好，你承認是你幹的，你每次都承認是你幹的。問題是，你什么時候才會停止砍我的櫻桃樹！』

There was a cartoon in the Saturday Review of Literature several years ago in which little George Washington was standing with an ax in his hand. Before him, lying on the ground was the famous cherry tree. He had already made his smug admission that he had done it -- after all, he “...cannot tell a lie.” But, his father was standing there, exasperated, saying, “All right, so you admit it! You always admit it! The question is, when are you going to stop doing it.”
http://www.expositor.com/Exposit.htm
-----

熊寶寶下樓坐在桌前的小椅子上，發現他的小碗是空的。他吱吱叫：「誰吃了我的粥？!! 」。熊爸爸坐在他的大桌前的大椅子上，看到他的大碗也是空的：「誰吃了我的粥？!! 」他咆哮道。熊媽媽從廚房探出他的頭來叫道：「拜託你們！同樣的情況到底要重演幾次呢」？熊媽媽是最早起床的，叫大家起床的也是他，沖咖啡的也是熊媽媽，他從洗碟機裡把昨晚清洗的碗碟拿出來放好，在冷冷的凌晨出去拿報紙，他佈置餐桌，將貓放出去，清洗小箱子，為貓補充水和食物，如今你決定放下優雅的熊媽媽廚房，氣呼呼的下樓：你們給我聽好，我只說一遍：「我還沒有開始做粥!!!」

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table, he looks into his small bowl. It is empty. “Who’s been eating my porridge?!!”, he squeaks.

Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty. “Who’s been eating my Porridge?!!,” he roars.

Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, “For Pete’s sake, how many times do we have to go through this?

It was Momma Bear who got up first, it was Momma Bear who woke everyone in the house, it was Momma Bear who made the coffee, it was Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away, it was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper, it was Momma Bear who set the table, it was Momma Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box, and filled the cat’s water and food dish, and, now that you’ve decided to drag your sorry bear-butts downstairs, and grace Momma Bear’s kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen good, cause I’m only going to say this one more time . . .
“I HAVEN’T MADE THE PORRIDGE YET !!”
-----

Things We Can Learn From A Dog
Never pass the opportunity to go for a joyride
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them
When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience
Let others know when they have invaded your territory
Take naps and scratch before rising
Run, romp, and play daily
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm
Be loyal
Never pretend to be something you’re not
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle her/him gently
Thrive on attention and let people touch you
On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree
When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body
No matter how often you are scolded, don’t buy into the guilt and pout.....run right back and make friends
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk
-----

“For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone” Sam Levenson
-----

在一個政治醜聞的案子中，案情已經進入白熱化。法庭上，檢察官正在挑戰一位證人。檢察官對證人說：「是真的嗎？你要說實話！你有沒有收了5000美元的賄賂，要使這個案子大事化小？」
證人看著窗外，好像沒有聽到問題一般！

檢察官又問了一遍：「你到底有沒有收5000美元的賄賂，要使這個案子大事化小？」證人還是沒有回答。

終於，法官受不了了，對證人說：「請證人回答這個問題！」
證人很迷惘的說：「喔！對不起，我以為他剛剛在問你！」
-----

童話裹有一個故事說:古時代在一大山上有一隻老虎，牠很喜歡喫人肉。天使告訴牠: 「你以後絕對不可喫人肉，若再喫，我馬上打死你。」虎答: 「好！」以後牠只咬死小動物來滿足肚子。過三年，天使再來時，老虎請求天使說「我三年之久沒喫過人肉，現在非常愛喫人肉，讓我喫吧！」天使說「好，但是基督徒你絕對不可喫。」虎回答說「好」後來虎很歡喜下了山，跑到一個禮拜堂前，看見一個人帶聖經，吟詩很快樂的樣子。老虎上前聞那個人，全身都沒有基督徒氣味，只有嘴有一點基督徒的氣味，所以留下嘴、全身的肉都喫掉了。天使又降臨來了，責備老虎怎樣喫那個人?老虎說「這個人只有嘴有基督徒的氣味，所以我留著嘴，其他的都份都喫掉了。」（楊信德，《新約聖經一般故事講道集》）
-----

Quotes引證 :
The measure of a man’s real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out. Thomas Babington Macaulay

The circumstances of life, the events of life, and the people around me in life, do not make me the way I am, but reveal the way I am. Dr. Sam Peeples

There is no right way to do a wrong thing.

Character is more important than reputation because reputation is just what people think you are; character is what you really are. John Wooden.

Conscience is the still small voice that people won’t listen to.

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. Dennis Wholey

He that gives good advice, builds with one hand; he that gives good counsel and example, builds with both; but he that gives good admonition and bad example, builds with one hand and pulls down with the other. Francis Bacon

I would rather be cheated a hundred times than develop a heart of stone. Tim Stafford

Who you are speaks so loud I can’t hear what you are saying. Emerson

Righteousness without genuine love for God and others will soon degenerate into self-righteousness.

I have to be a good person. When I lost, I had to shake the other guy’s hand. Barry Sanders

A contract is fair when both parties gain equally. Thomas Aquinas

**********************************************************

CHILD 小孩
A mother attended a service in a large and crowded auditorium with her little daughter, Mary. In some manner the two became separated. The mother sent a note to the platform which was read aloud: “If there is a little girl named Mary Moore in the audience, who is lost, will she please raise her hand so her mother can find her.” No little girl raised her hand so the mother had the police searching the city for the child. Still not finding her, the mother came back and stood at the door of the auditorium as the people filed out. Among the last of them was Mary. Her mother snatched her up, crying, “Where were you, Mary?” “On the front row,” replied the little one. “Didn’t you hear the man read the notice, ‘If there is a little girl named Mary Moore in the audience, who is lost, will she please raise her hand so her mother can find her?’ “ “Yes,” said Mary, “I heard it.” “Then why didn’t you raise your hand?” “Why, Mother, it couldn’t have meant me,” said Mary, “for I wasn’t lost. I knew where I was.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 840)
-----

爸爸由於感染了西班牙流感被關在房子裡，母親正忙於給已經來自病房的盤子消毒。
妳為何做這些事？ 4 歲的唐納德不解的問媽媽。
親愛的，可憐的爸爸感染細菌，並且這些細菌已傳到盤子上，所以我必須用開水煮盤子，才可以殺死全部可怕的細菌。
唐納德在他的小腦袋裡沈思了幾分鐘。然後說：媽，為什麼你不直接煮爸爸呢？

Daddy was confined to the house with Spanish influenza, and mother was busy sterilizing the dishes which had come from the sick-room.

“Why do you do that?” asked four-year-old Donald.

“Because, dear, poor daddy has germs, and the germs get on the dishes, so then I boil them, and that kills all the horrid germs.”

Donald turned this over in his little mind for several minutes. Then:

“Mother, why don’t you boil daddy?”
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
-----

小朋友寫給上帝的信
摘錄自小朋友寫給上帝的備忘錄
親愛的上帝：是你安排讓長頸鹿看起來像那模樣？還是意外事件造成的？
親愛的上帝：讓新生命取代死去的人，為何你現在不要保有一個呢？珍
親愛的上帝：是誰在各個國家當中畫出界線的？楠
親愛的上帝：我去了婚禮和他們在會堂正確的接吻。可以嗎？
親愛的上帝：為我有一個嬰孩弟弟感謝祢，但是我是向祢禱告要一隻小狗。
親愛的上帝：整個假期都在下雨，我爸爸發瘋了！他說了一些事是一般人不會想說的話，希望你不要傷害到他。祢的朋友（我不會告訴祢我是誰）
親愛的上帝：請送我一匹小馬，是我以前未曾向祢求過的。你看看吧！
親愛的上帝：假如我們就像一些事情一樣返回，請不要讓我變成珍妮弗荷頓。因為我討厭她！
親愛的上帝：當我長大後，我想長的像我爸一樣，但是不要太多毛髮。
親愛的上帝：甚至當我不禱告時，我有時候會想到你。
親愛的上帝：我打賭對你要去愛世上的是很難的。我家中只有四個人，我都不曾去愛呢？
親愛的上帝：在為你工作的許多人物當中，挪亞和大衛是我的最愛。
親愛的上帝：哥哥們跟我提起我生出的事，聽來怪怪的。他們是不是只在嘲哄我吧！
親愛的上帝：如果星期日在教會你會看我的話，我將展示我的新鞋子哩！
親愛的上帝：我們讀到多馬愛迪生發明燈光，然而在希伯來學校裡，我們得知是祢做的。我打賭是愛迪生偷走祢的想法吧！
親愛的上帝：我不認為有人能成為一位好的上帝。我只是要你知道我只是如此說說而已！因為你已經是上帝了！
親愛的上帝：我不認為橙色和紫色會在一起，直到星期二我看見祢所造的日落。真是酷阿！
親愛的上帝：如果該隱和亞伯各自擁有自己的房間，也許他們就不會彼此相殺了！我和我哥哥正在廝殺當中哩！

Kid letters to God
from actual memos that youngsters wrote to G-d:
Dear God: Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
Dear God: Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don’t you just keep the ones you have now? Jane
Dear God: Who draws the lines around the countries? Nan
Dear God: I went to this wedding and they kissed right in the synagogue. Is that okay?
Dear God: Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
Dear God: It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway. Your friend (but I am not going to tell you who I am)
Dear God: Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
Dear God: If we come back as something, please don’t let me be Jennifer Horton, because I hate her.
Dear God: I want to be just like my daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over.
Dear God: I think about you sometimes, even when I’m not praying.
Dear God: I bet it is very hard for you to love all the people in the world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it.
Dear God: Of all the people who worked for you, I like Noah and David the best.
Dear God: My brothers told me about being born, but it doesn’t sound right. They are just kidding, aren’t they?
Dear God: If you watch me in church Sunday, I’ll show you my new shoes.
Dear God: We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Hebrew school, we learned that you did it. So I bet he stole your idea.
Dear God: I don’t think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want you to know that I am not just saying this because you are God already.
Dear God: I didn’t think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool.
Dear God: Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
-----

當小湯姆的鄰居同伴在籬笆旁時，看他在花園挖個洞。有一個不害羞的小朋友對他做的事感到有趣，爬上去很客氣的問：「湯姆，你在作什麼？」湯姆回說：「我的金魚死了！」他淚流滿面沒有抬頭的說：「我剛剛埋好了！」鄰居很關心的說：「對金魚來說，那洞是不是太大了？」湯姆拍好最後的一推土後，回說：「那是因為金魚在你那隻不會說話的貓裡面呀！」

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What’cha doing, Tim?” “My goldfish died,” replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. “I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned. “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” Tim patted down the last heap of earth, then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your dumb cat.”
-----

如果和一個喜好批評的一起生活的小孩，他學會定人的罪；
如果和一個充滿敵意的一起生活的小孩，他學會與人爭鬥；
如果和一個喜歡嘲笑的一起生活的孩子，他知道害羞；
如果和一個有羞恥心的一起生活的孩子，他知道罪惡感；
如果和一個有容忍度的一起生活的小孩，他學會有耐心；
如果和一個懂得激勵的一起生活的小孩，他學會信賴人；
如果和一個懂得讚美的一起生活的小孩，他學會珍惜；
如果和一個講求公平的一起生活的小孩，他知道正義；
如果和一個有安全感的一起生活的孩子，他學會有信心；
如果和一個懂得贊同的一起生活的小孩，他學會愛自己；
如果和一個有接納的心和看重友誼的一起生活的小孩，他學會在世上尋找愛。

If a child lives with criticism, He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, He learns to be guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, He learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, He learns justice.
If a child lives with security, He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, He learns to find love in the world.
-----

小華的父親發現小華花了太多時間在電玩上，為了要鼓勵小華多花一些時間在學校的課業上，他的父親說：『當林肯在你的年紀時，他是用家中壁爐的火光來唸書。』小華回答說：『當林肯在你的年紀時，他已經是美國的總統。』

Little Johnny’s father noticed that Johnny was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate Little Johnny into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, his father said, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.”
Little Johnny replied, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States.”
-----

老闆遇到一位員工並對他說：「你到這裡已經一年了，起初你只是一位文書人員，一星期後，你開始負責銷售業務，一個月後，你被提升為區域營運經理，僅僅四個月，你已被擢升為副總裁，現在，我準備退休了，我希望你接任我為新的老闆，你認為如何？」

那位員工回答：「謝謝你…」

老闆說：「你還有甚麼要說的？」

員工說：「謝謝你….爸爸…」

The boss meets an employee and says: “You are here already 1 year. In the beginning, you were only a Mail Clerk. A week later, you started to handle Sales. A month later, you were promoted as Operation Regional Manager. In only 4 months, you were promoted to Vice-President. Now, I’m ready to retire, I want you to be the new boss. How do you feel?”

The Employee answers: “Thank you...”

The Boss: “Anything else you would like to say?”

The employee: “Thank you .... Dad...”
---

一個青少年在他家的車道上打籃球的時候，掉了他的隱形眼鏡。他找了一找，就去告訴他媽媽他的隱形眼鏡掉了而且找不到。他的媽媽不慌不忙地出去，沒幾分鐘就找到了兒子的隱形眼鏡。兒子對媽媽說：『我真的很努力的找過，為什么我找不到，你找得到？』媽媽說：『因為我們找不一樣的東西。你是尋找一個小塑膠片，我是尋找美金150元。』

A teenager lost one of his contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway.
After a brisk search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes, returned with the lens in her hand.

“I really looked hard for that, mom,” said the youth. “How did you manage to find it?”

“We weren’t looking for the same thing,” she replied. “You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150.” (Reader’s Digest 10/92)
-----

我在飛往弗羅里達州的飛機上，正為一個親職教育講座準備我的筆記，我將講授教育心理學。一位年長的婦女坐在我旁邊，對我解釋說她剛剛花了兩週的時間探望了她在波士頓的六個兒女，十八個孫兒女，和十個曾孫兒女，正要回邁阿密。然後，她問我是做什麽的。
我告訴了她我的職業，原以爲她會向我求問一些免費的專業建議。
結果她往後一靠，拿起一本雜誌並說，「如果你有什麽事想要知道，儘管問我。」

On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist। The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren in Boston। Then she inquired what I did for a living।

I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free professional advice. Instead she sat back, picked up a magazine and said, “If there’s anything you want to know, just ask me.”
-----

一個問題兒童的母親接受一位精神病理醫生的勸導﹕「妳為妳的孩子太操心了。我建議妳定時服用鎮定劑。」

在她另一次看診時醫生問﹕「鎮定劑是有否安定了妳的心情？」
這位母親答道﹕「有。」

醫生問﹕「那麼妳的孩子現在怎樣了？」
她回應﹕「管他幹嘛？」

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, “You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquillizers regularly.”
On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquillizers calmed you down?”
“Yes” the mother answered.
“And how is your son now?” he asked.
“Who cares?” she replied.
-----

在熱鬧的聖誕節購物時，一位女士掉了她的手提袋。有一個誠實的小男孩揀到且還给她。當她看她的錢包時，她評論說，「嗯 .... 奇怪，當我失去了我的手提袋子時，我衹有一張20元的鈔票。現在有20張一元的鈔票。」

男孩很快就回答說，「你沒看錯，女士。上次我曾揀到一位女士的錢包時，她因為沒有零錢可找，而無法賞我獎金。」

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, “Hmmm.... That’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills.”
The boy quickly replied, “That’s right, lady. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward.”
-----

小約翰第一天上課回家，媽媽問他上課情形，他說：『老師今天問我，我還有沒有弟弟或妹妹會進來這個學校。』媽媽問他：『你有沒有告訴你的老師，你是媽媽唯一的心肝寶貝？』約翰說：『有啊！』媽媽問『那老師怎麼說？』老師說：『感謝神！』
-----

一位爸爸下班回到家很晚了，很累並有點煩，發現他五歲的兒子靠在門旁等他。

『爸，我可以問你一個問題嗎？』

『當然可以，什麼問題？』父親回答。

『爸，你一小時可以賺多少錢？』

『這與你無關，你為什麼問這個問題？』父親生氣的說著；

『我只是想要知道，請告訴我，你一小時賺多少錢？』小孩哀求著。

『假如你一定要知道的話，我一小時賺20塊美金。』

『喔！』小孩低著頭這樣回答著，小孩說：『爹地，可以借我10塊美金嗎？』

父親發怒了，『如果你問這問題只是要借錢去買毫無意義的玩具或東西的話，給我回到你的房間並上床，好好想想為什麼你會那麼自私，我每天長時間辛苦工作著，沒時間和你玩小孩子的遊戲。』

小孩安靜地回自己房並關上門。
　　
這位父親坐下來還對小孩的問題生氣，他怎麼敢只為了錢而問這種問題？

約一小時後，他平靜下來了，開始想著他可能對孩子太兇了；或許他應該用那10塊錢美金買小孩真正想要的，讓他不用常常要錢，父親走小孩的房門並打開門。

『孩子，你睡了嗎？』他問著，

『爸，還沒，我還醒著。』小孩回答著，

『我想過了，我剛剛可能對你太兇了。』父親說著，『我將今天的悶氣都爆發出來了，這是你要的10塊錢美金。』

小孩笑著坐直了起來，『爹地，謝謝你』小孩叫著，接著小孩從枕頭下拿出一些被弄皺了的鈔票，這父親看到

小孩已經有錢了，快要再次發脾氣，這小孩慢慢地算著錢，接著看著他的爸爸，

『為什麼你已經有錢了還要要更多？』父親生氣的說著，

『因為我之前不夠，但我現在足夠了。』小孩回答，『爸，我現在有20塊錢了，我可以向你買一個小時的時間嗎？明天請早一點回家，我想和你一起吃晚餐。』
-----

一個稚幼小兒，犯了小小的過錯，夜間向父親傾訴，跪倒在父親膝前，淚眼汪汪禱告：「親愛慈悲的神，在你凡事都能，助我長大成人，又聰明、又強健，像我爸爸一樣。」，不久小兒睡了，父親起來跪在床前，向主承認禱告：「求主除去我的罪性，賜我赤子之心，叫我潔白無邪，全心信賴交託，像我兒子一樣！」
-----

Quotes引證 :
We spend the first 2 years of children’s life teaching them to walk and talk. Then we spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and keep quiet.

Sometimes we’re so concerned about giving our children what we never had growing up, we neglect to give them what we did have growing up. James Dobson

What is popular is not always right, what is right is not always popular.

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. Mark Twain

Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. Robert Fulghum

There are two things you give to your children. One is roots and the other is wings.

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. Thomas Jefferson

**********************************************************

CHRISTLIKENESS 效法基督
There was a small Christian sect of an exclusive nature which was holding a convention. Outside the auditorium there was displayed the motto, “Jesus Only.” A strong wind blew the first three letters away, so that the sign read, “Us Only.” Isn’t that too often the sign that our prayers, attitudes, and behavior present to the world? And then we expect God to bless us. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 744)
-----

看見她的兩個兒子爭奪最後一塊比薩餅，母親說：「你們這兩個男孩，行為應該更像耶穌才對，如果他在這裡，他將會給他的兄弟這最後一塊」
哥哥看著弟弟說，「馬蒂，來！你作耶穌。」

Seeing her two sons fighting over the last piece of pizza the mother said, “You boys should be acting more like Jesus, if He were here He would give His brother the last piece”
The older brother looked at his younger sibling and said,
“Marty, you be Jesus”
-----

一個十歲的猶太人男孩數學很不好，他的父母試了很多方法，從為他請家庭教師到催眠，無所不用其極，但都無法使他的數學好起來。最後在一個朋友的堅持下，他們決定將他轉學到一個私立的天主教學校。

第一天上課回家，那男孩帶著非常嚴肅和專注的表情直奔他的房間，安靜地關上門，將近兩個小時，他在房間裡非常用功，書桌上和地上滿是數學書本，很久之後才出來。匆匆忙忙吃完飯，又馬上回到房間，關上門繼續用功直到睡覺時間。這樣的模式一直持續，直到第一學季的成績單出來，男孩把打開的成績單，放在餐桌上，又馬上衝進房間。他的母親小心翼翼地打開成績單，竟然看到男孩的數學成績得到一個大紅色的A。

他母親和他父親狂喜地進入男孩的房間，為他顯著的進步非常興奮。他父親問道：「是不是因為修女的關係？」男孩搖搖頭說不是。「那是不是因為一對一的家教」男孩說：「也不是。」那是課本的關係，還是老師的緣故？還是因為課程改變？男孩都說不是。最後，男孩說：「當我第一天走進前門，看到一個人被釘在加號上面，我就知道他們是玩真的了。」

A ten-year-old Jewish boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis; but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school.

After the first day, the boy’s parents were surprised when he walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his face. He went straight past them, right to his room and quietly closed the door. For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room - with math books strewn about his desk and the surrounding floor. He emerged long enough to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate, went straight back to his room, closed the door and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime. This pattern of behavior continued until it was time for the first quarter’s report card.

The boy walked in with it unopened - laid it on the dinner table and went straight to his room. Cautiously, his mother opened it and, to her amazement, she saw a large red ‘A’ under the subject of Math.

Overjoyed, she and her husband rushed into their son’s room, thrilled at his remarkable progress. “Was it the nuns that did it?” the father asked. The boy shook his head and said “No.” “Was it the one-to-one tutoring? The peer-mentoring?” “No.” “The textbooks? The teachers? The curriculum?” “No”, said the son. “On that first day, when I walked in the front door and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I KNEW they meant business!”
-----

有一位西方傳教士到印度宣教。起先，印度人稱他為：「白人先生。」慢慢當地人跟他交往熟了，便稱他為：「可敬的白人。」最後印度人發現他心地善良，處處為印度人的利益設想，便改口稱他為：「白色的印度人」，也就是說他們完全與他認同、接納他當作自己的族人了。又有一回，一個印度人在車禍中腿部受傷，他就把那人接到家裡，為他洗腳、敷藥療傷。眾人看見他做出這樣仁慈的事，便改口稱他為：「上帝差來的人。」那位傳教士有著耶穌基督的心腸，因為耶穌來不是受眾人的服事，乃是來服事眾人。
-----

Quotes引證 :
A Christian man is most free lord of all, and subject to none; a Christian man is the most dutiful servant of all, and subject to everyone. Martin Luther

Those who make comfort the great subject of their preaching seem to mistake the end of their ministry. Holiness is the great end. Comfort is a cordial but no one drinks cordials from morning to night. John Henry Newman

In our modern world, our real danger comes not from irreligion, but from mild religion. D. Elton Trueblood.

The true call of a Christian is not to do extraordinary things, but to do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.

**********************************************************

CHURCH 教會
有一位既年輕又慵懶的農夫，農作物歉收。工作沒有成果，以致他的收成不佳。所以他決定作一個改變，可能他想成為傳道人。
有一天，他正苦思他的未來出路時，他抬頭望著迅速變化的天空，他看見P, C字型的雲。他就想著：「傳講基督！」。隨後他前往隔州讀聖經學院，讓人人確信他是有「呼召」的。
不需多言，他對功課表現的也很慵懶，從創世紀研究到講道學都沒有通過。
最後他被叫到校長辦公室。當他對著校長解釋他的「呼召」時，最後校長不再關切他的問題就回說：「看阿！年輕人！事奉上帝不是為懶散的人準備的。至於你所提的PC，是指「種玉蜀黍」。

A young but lazy farmer was having a bad year at the farm. His work had not paid off, so his harvest was going to be very poor. So he decided it was time for a change: perhaps he would become a preacher.

One day, as he was mulling on what to do with his future, he looked up to the sky and presto, he saw the clouds forming the words P. C. That’s it he thought: “PREACH CHRIST”! Off he went to the bible college in the next state, convincing everyone that he had a “calling.”

Needless to say, he was also lazy also in his studies, and failed every subject from Genesis to Preaching.

Finally he was called to the office. As he explained his “calling,” the president finally discerned his problem, and said. “Look young man, the ministry is not for slothful people. And as for “PC” that stands for “PLANT CORN!”
-----

某一週日上午在聖路易斯城，有一位陌生人叫住一位警員並請他推薦當地一間教會。警員指引他去有一小段距離的教會。
「我沿路看見不少教會，到底發生什麼事。」陌生人問著。「為何你不推薦我去這些教會呢？」
「老實說！」警員回著說：「我本身是不信教的，但是常常看見一群人從我推薦你去的教會走出來，他們很快樂。反而這些教會卻不是這樣。如果我決定去教會，我會去那一間。在那，他們會得到快樂。」

A stranger in St. Louis stopped a policeman one Sunday morning and asked him to recommend a church. He directed him to one at a little distance. “What’s the matter with these other churches that I see along the way?” asked the stranger. “Why don’t you recommend them?” “To tell the truth,” replied the policeman, “I am an unbeliever myself, but people coming out of that church are always happy. They are different. If I ever decided to go to church, that’s where I’d go. They’ve got something there that makes them happy.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 929)
-----

Many people today treat religion as a matter of convenience. They have to belong somewhere to be considered respectable. A clergyman once met an old schoolmate of whose activities he had long been ignorant, and finding him a judge of good standing congratulated him upon his success in life. As they were parting, the clergyman said to him, “And best of all, Judge, I find you are a member of our church.” “Well,” said the judge, “that’s more a matter of chance than anything else. You see, when I was getting established in my profession, my wife and I thought we ought to join a church—it was the respectable thing to do. So, after mature deliberation, we settled down with a certain denomination and got on very well for a time; but they kept harping on faith, till we pretty soon discovered that they required more faith than we had; so it became necessary to make a change. We turned the matter over considerably and at last, for various reasons, made up our minds to join another denomination. Here we found the demand was work, work incessantly; and it was presently apparent that they demanded more work than we were able to perform. It was with great reluctance that we concluded that we must change again, and we cast about with much caution, that this move might be final. At last we decided to connect ourselves with your church, sir, and have gotten along famously ever since without either faith or works.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 544)
-----

多年前在某間神學院有一個慣例，就是在課堂講道的學生隔天被叫到校長室安靜談論他的講道狀況。有一次偶發事件，這位既是牧師又是聖潔的老校長對一位年輕的學生說：「昨天你講的道很好，真理的解析有條理且有好的表現。但是你的道有一個遺憾，這是很嚴重的事。對像我這樣可憐的罪人卻沒有給我一句話。」

Years ago it was the custom in a certain theological college for the student who had preached a sermon in class to go into the principal’s office next morning for a quiet talk about his work. On one such occasion, the revered and saintly old principal said to the young man before him, “It was a good sermon you gave yesterday; the truth you dealt with was well-arranged and well presented. But your sermon had one omission, a grave one. There was no word in it for a poor sinner like me.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 546)
-----

有一位正投入新教會事奉的傳道人，在第一次講道時得到很高的讚賞。有一群人告訴他說這篇信息剛好是會眾所需要的。下一主日他講得很好，但是會眾感到極大的困惑因為他傳講同上主日的一篇信息。第三個主日他再次傳講同樣的道，在開會期間等著傳道人解釋。他說：「為何又是同一篇道？在第一主日你們告訴我你們多麼需要這篇道，我觀察整個星期看你們的生活有沒有改變，結果沒有改變。所以我再講一次。再次觀察一星期，我發現依舊沒變。你們不會希望我會在下主日又講一遍嗎？」

A minister, on taking a new church, was highly complimented on his first sermon. A number of people told him it was just what the congregation needed. The next Sunday he preached well again, but the congregation was greatly puzzled because he preached the same sermon as before. The third Sunday, when the same sermon was preached again, the session waited on the preacher for an explanation. He said, “Why, yes it is the same sermon. You told me the first Sunday how much you needed just that, and I watched all week for some change in your lives, but there was none, so I preached it again. I watched all next week; still no change; and I don’t see any yet. Don’t you think I’d better prepare to preach it again next Sunday?” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 547)
-----

「馬馬虎虎牧師，他不是一位有深度的的傳道人？」朋友問著。「好啦！」另一人笑著說：「我跟你說個故事。當我還是小孩時，我和其他的孩童正在游泳池歡樂著，有一些人去的位置離我有意要去還要遠，我感到害怕。剛好有一個人路過我叫著：「池子深嗎？」
「不，孩子！」他回說：「那只是骯髒的水吧！」

“Isn’t Rev. So-and-so a deep preacher?” asked a friend. “Well,” replied the other smiling. “I’ll tell you a story. When I was a boy I was amusing myself with some other boys in a pool. Some of them were going farther out than I was disposed to go, and I was frightened. To a man who was passing by I called out, ‘Is the pool deep?’ ‘No, son,’ he replied, ‘it’s only muddy.’” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 548)
-----

有一位平信徒在出差旅行期間來到俄亥俄州一間大教會拜訪。在崇拜結束後，他對著在服事和講道的傳道人賀喜。「但是」製造商說：「如果你是我的行銷人員，我不會雇用你。你吸引我的注意是藉著你的外表、聲音、儀態、禱告、閱讀和邏輯的對話引起我的興趣。你所傳講的信息溫暖我的心，然而你停下卻沒有問我要做什麼事。在商場，獲得人群的簽名同意是重要的事阿！。」

有一位信徒趁著出差俄亥俄州，來到一個城市的大教堂聚會。崇拜聚會結束後，他向牧師表達對聚會和信息的祝賀之意。
這位從事於製造業者說，「如果你是我的推銷員，我會解雇你；你的外表、聲音、態度都引起我相當的注意力；你的禱告、讀經、講道在在都喚起我的興趣；你的信息溫暖了我渴慕的心，然而你並未要求我任何事就結束了；在生意上最重要的是那臨門一腳，要求對方簽訂合約。」

A layman visited a great city church in Ohio during a business trip. After the service he congratulated the minister on his service and sermon. “But,” said the manufacturer, “if you were my salesman, I’d discharge you. You got my attention by your appearance, voice, and manner; your prayer, reading, and logical discourse aroused my interest; you warmed my heart with a desire for what you preached; then you stopped without asking me to do something about it. In business, the important thing is to get people to sign on the dotted line.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 549)
-----

當你傳福音時你要的是果子。有一個人聽了很感動的信息後，朋友問他是否記得內容。 “真的，”他說，“我什麼都沒有記得，但是因著這個信息我成為一個不同的人。”與這個對比的是，有一個人被問到他覺得一篇在教會中產生很大迴響的信息如何？他的回答對我們可能有一些重要的教訓。 “很不錯，先生，但一個人不能靠著鮮花而活。

It’s fruit that you want when you present the gospel. Someone who had heard a moving sermon was asked by a friend what he remembered of it. “Truly,” he said, “I remember nothing at all, but I am a different man as a result of it.” Contrast that with what another man answered when he was asked what he thought of a sermon that had produced a great sensation among the congregation. His reply may hold an important lesson for some of us. “Very fine, sir; but a man cannot live upon flowers.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 553)
-----

「講道結束了沒？」會眾中有一位問另一會友。
「還沒有，傳道人講的道是結束了，但是主日的信息必須在我們生活當中活出。」這位力求實踐的會友回答著。（摘自聖經真理圖解# 554)）

“Is the sermon done?” asked one member of the congregation of another. “No, the preacher is done, but the sermon has to be worked out in our lives,” replied the practical listener. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 554)
-----

Bishop Latimer once preached a sermon before King Henry VIII that greatly offended his royal auditor by its plainness. The King ordered him to preach again the next Sunday and to make public apology for his offense. The Bishop ascended the pulpit and read his text, and thus began his sermon: “Hugh Latimer, dost thou know before whom thou art this day to speak? To the high and mighty Monarch, the King’s most excellent Majesty, who can take away thy life if thou offendest. Therefore take heed that thou speakest not a word that may displease. But then, consider well, Hugh! Dost thou not know from whom thou comest—upon whose message thou art sent? Even by the great and mighty God, who is all-present and beholdeth all thy ways, and who is able to cast thy soul into hell! Therefore take care that thou deliverest thy message faithfully.” And so beginning, he preached over again, but with increased energy, the selfsame sermon he had preached the week before. The fear of God delivered him from the fear of man. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 523)
-----

One day a very learned preacher was met by an illiterate preacher who despised education. “Sir, you have been to college, I suppose?” “Yes, sir,” was the reply. “I am thankful,” replied the illiterate preacher, “that the Lord opened my mouth without any learning.” “A similar event,” answered the learned clergyman, “took place in Balaam’s time, when his ass spoke; but such things are of rare occurrence in the present day. Maybe you are one of the rarities.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 524)
-----

有一個教會需要聘請牧師。有一個應試者來講有關地獄的道。下週日另一名應試者的講道也是地獄，他的基本教導和第一位的一樣。當教會的成員開始投票時，他們選了第二個人。當他們被問為什麼時，他們說：“第一個人講道時，好像他很高興人們都去地獄，而第二個人似乎對這些去地獄的人感到遺憾。

A church was in need of a pastor. A candidate came who preached on hell. The next Sunday another candidate came whose sermon was also on hell, and his fundamental teaching was the same as that of the first one. When the members of the church were called upon to vote, they voted for the second candidate. When they were asked why, the answer was, “The first one spoke as if he were glad that people were going to hell, while the second seemed sorry for it.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 526)
-----

We preachers desperately need the advice which an aged minister gave a young man who was just entering upon his life work as a shepherd of God’s flock. “My son,” he said, “feed the sheep; do not beat them. If a sheep is well fed, he can endure and will submit to some harsh treatment, but to starve and beat him at the same time is likely to prove fatal.”
(from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 529)
-----

Said an archbishop to the manager of the acting group, “Tell me, how is it that you actors hold the attention of your audience so vividly that you cause them to think of things imaginary as if they were real, while we of the church speak of things that are real but our congregations take them as imaginary?” The reason is plain,” answered the actor. “We actors speak of things imaginary as if they were real; while too many in the pulpit speak of things real as if they were imaginary.” It was said of one famous old preacher, “He showed us the fires of hell, and then he swept our souls up to the gates of heaven.” When you talk about Christ, you have to believe in the transforming power of the gospel if you expect to convince anyone of its power to save. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 530)
-----

有一位年輕牧師在一個大學城牧會，由於恐怕會遭受到那些有教養、有學問會眾的批評而覺得很不安，去尋求他那聰明的老牧師爸爸的幫助。
他說，「老爸、我覺得對於目前所服事的傳道事工有重大的缺陷；我如果引用地質學事證、有一位教科學的教授就坐在前面；我如果舉羅馬神話的實例、可能有另一位教授會針對一點小小的不精確跟我沒完沒了；我如果提到一些喜歡的英文文學相關的、我將會因面臨一位教授那個領域的專家學者而顫抖；我該如何是好？」
睿智的老年人說，「不用氣餒，只要宣講福音；
他們大概對於這個懂得很少。」

A young minister in a college town was embarrassed by the thought of criticism from his cultured congregation. He sought counsel from his father, a wise old minister, saying, “Dad, I am handicapped in my ministry in the pulpit I am now serving. If I cite anything from geology, there is Prof. A, teacher of this science, right before me. If I use an illustration from Roman mythology, there is Prof. B ready to trip me up for any little inaccuracy. If I mention something in English literature that pleases me, I am cowered by the presence of the learned man that teaches that branch. What shall I do?” The sagacious old man replied, “Do not be discouraged; preach the gospel. They probably know very little of that.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 533)
-----

當喬治潘特克牧師在愛丁堡市講完道後，霍雷修斯邦那把他的手在他的肩膀說，“你愛對人講道，不是嗎？”潘特克回答：“是的。“邦那說，”那你愛那些聽你講道的人嗎？

When the Rev. George Pentecost had finished a discourse in the city of Edinburgh, Horatius Bonar put his hand upon his shoulder and said, “You love to preach to men, don’t you?” and Dr. Pentecost answered, “Yes.” Then Mr. Bonar said, “Do you love the men you preach to?” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 511)
-----

有一天，坎貝爾摩根禱告，主似乎對他說，“你希望成為我的僕人或是一個偉大的傳道人？”摩根說：“希望我都不是，主？”他靈裡因此開始爭扎，因為他想到，上帝可能要我成為一個不知名的傳道人在一個偏僻的地方。然後摩根順服的禱告，“主啊，我最大的願望是成為你的僕人！”神回應他使他成為那時代最偉大的傳道人之一。

One day as G. Campbell Morgan prayed, the Lord seemed to say to him, “Which do you want to be—a servant of mine or a great preacher?” Morgan replied, “May I not be both, Lord?” A spiritual struggle ensued as he thought, God may want me to be an unknown minister in an obscure place. Then Morgan submissively prayed, “O Lord, my greatest wish is to be a servant of Thine!” The Lord responded by making him one of the greatest preachers of his time. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 512)
-----

一位年輕的傳道人剛從神學院就去前線當軍牧。他告訴士兵們，他讓他們選擇是否要他講道或講些有趣的故事。一個高大耿直的人說：“如果你從3000英里外來到這裡跟一群士兵講道，其中一些人在三天內可能就進入永恆，而你不知道是否要對他們講道或講些有趣的故事，我想你最好就直接說一些有趣的故事就好了。

A young preacher fresh from seminary went to the front as a chaplain. He announced to the soldiers that he would let them choose whether they wanted him to preach a sermon or tell them funny stories. A tall, blunt-speaking fellow arose and said, “If you have come three thousand miles to talk to a bunch of soldiers, some of whom are going into eternity within three days, and you don’t know whether to preach to them or tell them funny stories, I suspect you had just better go ahead and tell something funny.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 516)
-----

我怎樣才能使群眾參加我的聚會？“一位年輕的牧師問約翰衛斯理。衛斯理答道，“要火熱，然後人將會看你被神燃燒，”很可悲的，我們有這麼多睡著的傳道人和無聲音的講道。亨利比雀過去常說，“如果一個人在我證道時睡著，我不會叫一個人去叫醒他，但我覺得要有一個人來叫醒我。

“How can I get crowds to attend my services?” asked a young preacher of John Wesley. Replied Wesley, “Get on fire and people will come out to see you burn.” It is pathetic that we have so many sleepy preachers and noiseless sermons. Henry Ward Beecher used to say, “If a man sleeps under my preaching, I do not send a boy to wake him up, but I feel that a boy had better come and wake me up.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 517)
-----

有一位年輕人剛剛成為一間大教堂的牧師，在一個會眾的歡迎會上、有一個愛說長道短的婦人用尖刻的語氣對他說，「我真搞不懂你怎麼敢接受這麼一個要使七百位會眾都覺得滿意的工作。」
神啟示他靈光一閃地回答，說，「我來到這個城市不是要討七百人的喜歡，而是只討一位的喜悅；我如果能討得祂的喜悅就夠了。」

A young man had just become pastor of a large church. At a reception given him by his people, one of the gossips, a woman with a dangerous tongue, came up and said, “I do not understand how you dared attempt the task of pleasing seven hundred people.” Quick as a flash the Lord gave him the answer. He replied, “I did not come to this city to please seven hundred people. I have to please only One; and if I please Him, all will be well.”
(from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 519)
-----

一個老執事曾經被問到他的教會的狀況。他回答說：“我們很悲傷，教會退步了，日趨嚴重。但是，感謝上帝，沒有其他在我們附近的教會做的更好。

An old deacon was once asked about the state of his church. He replied, “We are in sad straits; the church is slipping back, getting worse all the time; but, thank the Lord, none of the other churches in our neighborhood is doing any better.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 115)
-----

“I once asked a minister how he had got through a certain service. He answered grimly:

“‘Well, bishop, the service was soothing, moving and satisfactory.’

“‘Yes,’ I said a little puzzled.

“‘Yes, exactly,’ said he. ‘It was soothing because over half the congregation went to sleep. It was moving because half of the other half left before I was through. And it must have been satisfactory, inasmuch as I wasn’t asked to come again.’”
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
-----

The clergyman’s eloquence may have been at fault, still he felt annoyed to find that an old gentleman fell asleep during the sermon on two consecutive Sundays. So, after service on the second week, he told the boy who accompanied the sleeper that he wished to speak to him in the vestry.

“My boy,” said the minister, when they were closeted together, “who is that elderly gentleman you attend church with?”

“Grandpa,” was the reply.

“Well,” said the clergyman, “if you will only keep him awake during my sermon, I’ll give you a nickel each week.”

The boy fell in with the arrangement, and for the next two weeks the old gentleman listened attentively to the sermon. The third week, however, found him soundly asleep.

The vexed clergyman sent for the boy and said: “I am very angry with you. Your grandpa was asleep again today. Didn’t I promise you a nickel a week to keep him awake?”

“Yes,” replied the boy, “but grandpa now gives me a dime not to disturb him.”
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
-----

An Episcopal rector and a Roman Catholic priest had neighboring churches and didn’t get along very well. After some time, however, they got together and decided to bury the hatchet.

“For, after all,” said he of the Episcopal faith, “we are both doing the Lord’s work.”

“That is true,” said the priest. “Let us therefore do his work to the best of our ability: you in your way,” concluded the priest, and then added with a twinkle, “and I in his!”
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
-----

A clergyman was accustomed to use scientific terms which the people did not understand. A deputation waited on him with the request that in the future, whenever he used such terms, he would explain them.

On the following Sunday he used the word “hyperbole,” and added:

“As agreed on, I beg to explain this word. Were I to say that at this moment the whole of my congregation are sound asleep, it would be hyperbole; but if I say that one-half are asleep, that is not hyperbole, but the truth.” (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
-----

A woman approached the minister and thanked him for his sermon. “I found it so helpful,” she said. The minister replied: “I hope it will not prove as helpful as the last sermon you heard me preach.” “Why, what do you mean?” asked the astonished woman. “Well,” said the minister, “that sermon lasted you three months.”
-----

當傳道人在證道時，有一個人睡著了。這傳道人提高了他的音亮並敲打講壇，但那個人都沒有醒來。最後，傳道人執事說；“去叫醒那個人了。”執事回答說，“你自己去叫醒他吧，因為是你使他睡著的！“

While the minister was speaking, a man fell asleep. The minister raised his voice and pounded the pulpit but the man would not wake up. Finally, the minister called to the deacon, “Go wake that man up.” The deacon replied, “Wake him up yourself. You put him to sleep!”
-----

一位牧師退休後搬到鄉下去享受人生，做他所喜歡的庭園工作，需要一台除草機，他前往鎮購買途中，看到一個賣二手除草機的廣告，他就停在屋子前面，一個年輕小夥子走出來接待他，牧師向他詢問除草機時，小夥子說它在房子的後面，然後帶牧師去看，機器在慢速時發出霹啪的聲音，牧師把速度加快且試除了幾行草，滿意且以美金25元成交。
當天，牧師正在拉著啟動的繩子時，小夥子騎著腳踏車過來偷看，看了幾分鐘後年輕人問道：「怎麼了？」
牧師說：「我無法啟動機器，你知道怎麼做嗎？」
孩子回答：「是啊!」
牧師叫道：「你告訴我你是怎麼啟動的？」
孩子回答：「你必須詛咒它」
牧師說：「你聽好，我是個牧師，即使我曾詛咒過，這麼多年我也已經忘了如何詛咒了」
年輕人慧詰的笑道：「牧師你繼續拉那條繩子，詛咒的能力會完全恢復的！」

A preacher retired and moved to the country to enjoy life and practice his hobby of yard work. Needing a lawn mower, he headed into town to buy one. On the way he saw a sign advertising a lawn mower for sale. He stopped at the house and a young lad came out to greet him. The preacher asked about the lawn mower and the kid said it was behind the house. The two went to look at the lawn mower. The engine was sputtering along at idle speed. The preacher increased the speed of the engine and mowed a few strips. Satisfied that the mower would do the job they settled on a price of $25.00.
Later in the day, the young lad was riding his bicycle when he spied the preacher pulling on the engine starter rope. The kid stopped and watched for a couple of minutes. He asked, “What’s wrong?” The reply came, “I can’t get this mower started. Do you know how?” The kid said, “Yep.” “Well, how do you do it? Tell me!”, the preacher yelled. The kid replied, “You have to cuss it.” The preacher rose up indignantly. “Now you listen here. I am a preacher and if I ever did cuss, not saying I have, I’ve forgotten how to do it after all these years.” With a wise look on his face well beyond his years, the kid said, “Preacher, you keep on pulling that rope and it’ll all come back to ya.”
-----

在幾乎所有宗教的宗派中，為了成為一個牧師或者一位傳道人，你的神學必須被測試。你必須被檢驗確定，至少根據那個一點宗派的觀點，你在神學上是可靠的。我知道有一個宗派會把候選人放在有經驗的傳道人和平信徒領袖面前，他們可以問任何神學上的問題，直到他們對候選人在神學上的可靠性滿意爲止．在這評審團當中有一位老傳道人，35年來他對每一位的候選人都問同樣的一個問題．他問候選人，「請看窗外好嗎？」候選人照做了．
「當你在窗外看到一個人時請告訴我．」
「我看到了一個人．」
「你認識這個人嗎？」
「先生，我不認識他．」
「很好，你能用神學的觀點描述那個人嗎？」
他問了這個問題35年，他發現答案不出兩大類型．第一類的人會說「那人是一個罪人，他需要上帝在耶穌基督裏拯救的能力．」第二類的人則說「不論這個人知不知道，他是神的孩子，被上帝的愛所擁抱，被上帝的恩典所環繞．」
老傳道人下了一個評論，「我認爲這兩种答案，從技術層面來説，都是正確的，但在我的經驗中，給第二种答案的傳道人有比較好的事奉，因爲他不僅看到人們的現在，且看到人們在上帝裏的未來．」恩慈是不只看人現在的狀態，而且在光照中看到上帝如何重建他們的生命．

In almost every religious tradition, in order to become a priest or a minister you have to be tested on your theology. You have to be examined to make sure, at least from that point of view of that tradition, that you’re theologically sound. I know one tradition that puts candidates for the ministry in front of veteran ministers and lay leaders, and they can ask as many theological questions as they want, until they’re satisfied that the candidate is theologically sound. There’s one old minister in this group who has asked the same question for 35 years to every single ministerial candidate. He says to the candidate, “Will you look out the window?”

The candidate does.

“Tell me when you see a person out the window.”

“I see one.”

“Do you know that person?”

“No, sir, I don’t.”

“Good. Would you describe that person theologically?” He’s been asking that question for 35 years and he says that he has found that the answers tend to fall in one of two categories. Either they say “That person is a sinner in need of the saving power of God in Jesus Christ,” or they say, “Whether that person knows it or not, that person is a child of God, embraced by the love of God, surrounded by the grace of God.”

The old minister commented, “I suppose both of those answers, technically speaking, are correct, but it has been my experience that the ministers who give the second answer make the better ministers because they see people not just as they are, but as they will be in the future of God.” Kindness is the refusal to see people only in the present tense, but to see them in light of what God is doing to recreate their lives. (Thomas Long) http://www.30goodminutes.org/csec/sermon/long_4018.htm
-----

三個牧師聚在一起用晚餐。
第一個牧師說「你們知道嗎，從這個暑假開始我郵件麻煩事就是教會有老鼠。我已經試了很多的方法、噪音、噴劑、貓，但似乎就是嚇不走牠們。」
第二個牧師接著說：「是的，我也是，我也有幾百隻在教會的地下室，我放了補鼠器甚至找專家來滅鼠，但還趕不走牠們！」
第三位牧師滿臉笑容的說：「我也有過這樣的問題，所以我為所有的老鼠施洗同時將牠們變為教會的會友…從那時開始就沒有一隻回來過！！！」

Three Pastors were having lunch together at a diner. The first Pastor said, “Ya know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with mice in my church. I’ve tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away. The second Pastor then said “Yea, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in the basement of the church. I’ve set traps and even called an expert to get rid of them, yet they still won’t go away.” With a on his face, the third Pastor said, “I had the same problem so I baptized all mine and made them members of the church... Haven’t seen one back since!!!”
-----

你永遠不會在教堂裡聽到的事..............
1。嘿！輪到我坐在前排。
2。我是如此的著迷，我沒有注意到你的講道時間已經超過25分鐘。
3。我個人覺得作見證比打高爾夫球更讓人喜悅。
4。我決定奉獻給我們教會每個月我用來奉獻給電視佈道家的500元。
5。我志願成為永久的初中主日學老師。
6。忘記教派最低工資，讓我們給我們的牧師薪水，讓他/她可以像我們一樣生活。
7。我很喜愛當我們唱從來沒有聽過的聖歌！
8。因為我們都已經在這裡，讓我們早點開始主日崇拜。
9。牧師，我們想送你去參加在巴哈馬群島的聖經研討會。
10。除了我們的年度管理競選，沒有什麼可以感動我並加強我對教會的委身，！
11。讚美神，我在教會外面找不到停車位置。

Things you never hear in church..............
1. Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew.
2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
4. I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
6. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let’s pay our pastor so he/she can live like we do.
7. I love it when we sing hymns I’ve never heard before!
8. Since we’re all here, let’s start the service early.
9. Pastor, we’d like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
11. I couldn’t find space to park outside. Praise God!
-----

楊士頓夫人無數次的來到她的牧師那裡並告訴他，“我好害怕！喬說，他會殺了我，如果我繼續來你的教會。“
“是的，是的，我的孩子，”牧師回答，其實他已經很厭倦的一再的聽到這件事。 “我將繼續為你祈禱，楊士頓夫人夫人，你要有有信心，主會看顧你。“
“哦，是的，祂使我迄今為止都安全，只是....."
“只是什麼，我的孩子？”
“好的，現在他說，如果我繼續來你的教會，他會殺了你！”
“好的，現在，”牧師說，“也許是時候去看看城市另一邊的小教堂，。”

For the umpteenth time Mrs. Youngston came to her pastor to tell him, “I’m so scared! Joe says he’s going to kill me if I continue to come to your church.”
“Yes, yes, my child,” replied the pastor, more than a little tired of hearing this over and over. “I will continue to pray for you, Mrs. Youngston. Have faith - the Lord will watch over you.”
“Oh yes, he has kept me safe thus far, only.....”
“Only what, my child?”
“Well, now he says if I keep coming to your church, he’s going to kill YOU!”
“Well, now,” said the pastor, “Perhaps it’s time to check out that little church on the other side of town.”
-----

查理是一個常去賽馬場的人。一天下午，他注意到一個不尋常的景象。第一場比賽之前，一位天主教神父去馬棚為一隻馬祝福，查理非常仔細地觀看賽馬，果然，被祝福的馬得到第一名。
下一場比賽時查理跟著牧師，同樣的，神父去馬棚為另一隻馬祝福。查理趕緊把兩元賭注壓在那隻馬，然後贏得了近50美元！查理一直投注神父所祝福的馬，因此一直贏錢。
最後一場是大比賽，查理看到了神父所祝福的馬，他迅速跑到他的銀行，並領了他一生的積蓄20,000元，又回到了賽場，賭注在那隻馬身上！
他看著比賽並期待成為百萬富翁。那隻馬反而是最後一名，查理這時也破產了！他簡直不敢相信發生的事，因此他去找神父。
他問神父：“你祝福的馬發生了什麼事，因為你的祝福無效，我失去了我所有的錢！“
神父說：“那是你們新教徒的摁問題，因為你不能分辨什麼是祝福，什麼是臨終聖禮！”

Charlie was a regular visitor at the racetrack. One afternoon he noticed an unusual sight. Right before the first race, a Catholic Priest visited one of the horses in the stable area and gave it a blessing. Charlie watched the horse race very carefully, and, sure enough, the blessed horse came in first.
Charlie followed the Priest before the next race. Again, the Priest went to the stables and blessed another horse. Charlie quickly put two dollars on that horse and won close to fifty bucks! The Priest kept blessing horses and Charlie kept betting on them and they won!
The last race of the day was the biggest and Charlie saw the Priest with that horse, also! He quickly went to his bank and withdrew his life’s savings of $20,000, went back to the racetrack and put it all on that horse!
He watched the race in certain anticipation of leaving a millionaire. The horse was last to cross the line and Charlie was dead broke! He couldn’t believe what happened so he went looking for the Priest.
He found the man and asked, “What happened to that last horse you blessed? Because your blessing didn’t work, I’ve lost all of my money!”
The Priest said “That’s the trouble with you Protestants, you can’t tell the difference between a blessing and the Last Rites!”
-----

一位年輕的傳道人申請牧師職位正接受該教堂董事會成員面談。在這董事中有一位勤奮的愛爾蘭人看著這位應徵的年輕傳道人並且問他說：年青人，上帝派你到我們這裡來嗎？他回答，嗯，我不知道是否上帝派我來這裡。我試圖尋求上帝的心意並且查明你們是否要我成為你們的下一任牧師。
另一個董事會成員又問說：年青人，上帝派你到我們這裡嗎？年輕的傳道人有點無話可說，隔了些時候他說：我衹是經過l順便停留拜訪董事會而已。
董事會成員再次打斷並且說：年青人，上帝派你到我們這裡嗎？最後，年青的傳道人鼓足勇氣並且說，嗯我猜測上帝並沒有派我到這裡。我衹是順便來看看是否我們能一起同工。
一位董事會資深成員倒坐在他的位子並且說，那很好。前四位來應徵的都說上帝派他們來，我們祇找他們的麻煩其他並沒有什麼給他們。

A young minister was being interviewed by a church board for the position of pastor. One hard-working Irishman who was on the board looked at the young man sternly and asked, “Young man, did God send you here?” He replied, “Well, I don’t know if God sent me here. I am trying to find the will of God and find out if you would like me for your next pastor.”

The board member replied, “Young man, did God send you here?” The young minister was somewhat at a loss for words and came back again, “Well I just stopped by to talk with the board...”

The board member interrupted again and said, “Young man, did God send you here?” Finally, he screwed up his courage and said, “Well I guess God didn’t send me here. I just stopped by to see about whether we could get together.”

The old board member leaned back in his seat and said, “That’s good. The last four said that God had sent them, and we have nothing but trouble with all four of them.”
-----

A story is told about a man who was on a luxury liner and suddenly he falls overboard. He can’t swim and in desperation he begins calling for help. Now it just so happens that there several would be rescuers on deck who witnessed the incident. The first man was a MORALIST. When he saw the man fall overboard he immediately reached into his briefcase and pulled out a book on how to swim. He now tossed it to him and he yelled: “Now brother, you read that and just follow the instructions and you will be all right.”

The man next to him happened to be an IDEALIST. When he saw the man fall overboard he immediately jumped into the water and began swimming all around the drowning man saying: “Now just watch me swim. Do as I do and you will be all right.”

The person next to him happened to be a member of the INSTITUTIONAL CHURCH. He looked upon the drowning man’s plight with deep concern. He yelled out: “Now, just hold on friend. Help is on the way. We are going to establish a committee and dialogue your problem. And then, if we have come up with the proper financing, we will resolve your dilemma.”

The next man on the deck happened to be a representative of the school of POSITIVE THINKING. He yelled out to the drowning man: “Friend, this situation is not nearly as bad as you think. Think dry!”

The next man on board happened to be a REVIVALIST. By this time the drowning man was going down for the third time and desperately began waving his arm. Seeing that, the revivalist yelled out: “Yes brother, I see that hand, is there another? Is there another?”

And finally, the last man on deck was a REALIST. He immediately plunged into the water, at the risk of his own life, and pulled the victim to safety.
-----

The story is told of a preacher in Vermont who was running into some difficulty with his congregation over the strident nature of his sermons. He had lambasted the lack of racial diversity in the town, the high property taxes, the insensitivity of the merchants, and the lack of caring present in family relationships. This was too much, so an ad hoc committee was quickly assembled to meet with the young man to “set him straight.” The gathering took place in the church parlor right after worship.

The chair began, “Preacher, we are a little worried about the effect your preaching is having on the congregation. When you rail against materialism, the bankers and the merchants find that hard to take. And when you talk against the television preachers pursuing religion for profit, a lot of our folks send money to those people. And when you start talking about family values, why, a lot of our people are busy and commute to Boston and can’t just communicate with their children like you envision. And, heck, you make us feel bad about being white and wealthy. Can’t you find something else to preach about?”

Totally exasperated, the preacher asked: “Well, what do you people suggest I preach about?” From the back of the room came a clear voice: “Why don’t you preach about the communists?” “But we don’t have any communists in our town, in Vermont,” he answered. “Exactly. Preach about them!” Harold C. Warlick, Jr., LIGHT IN THE LAND OF SHADOWS, CSS Publishing Company, Lima, Ohio, 1996.
-----

Several years ago a reader of the British Weekly wrote a letter to the editor as follows:
“Dear Sir! I notice that ministers seem to set a great deal of importance on their sermons and spend a great deal of time in preparing them. I have been attending services quite regularly for the past thirty years and during that time, if I estimate correctly. I have listened to no less than three thousand sermons. But, to my consternation, I discover I cannot remember a single one of them. I wonder if a minister’s time might be more profitably spent on something else? Sincerely...”

The letter kicked up quite an editorial storm of angry responses for weeks. The pros and cons of sermons were tossed back and forth until, finally, one letter ended the debate. This letter said: “My dear Sir: I have been married for thirty years. During that time I have eaten 32,850 meals - mostly of my mom’s cooking. Suddenly I have discovered that I cannot remember the menu of a single meal. And yet, I received nourishment from every one of them. I have the distinct impression that without them, I would have starved to death along time ago.

Sincerely...”
-----

你上教堂嗎？當然我們去。
像我們的同儕的其他人一樣。
除了在那太熱，或者太冷，或者太潮濕的那幾天。
然後當然在夏季，
僅僅為了保持他們達到出席水平，
我們每個星期日帶那些孩子，
乘坐汽車去兜兜風。
有時在春天和秋季，我也會讓自己在禮拜天請個假。
漫步於鄉村俱樂部，
打打高爾夫球。
但是其他的星期日，
你將在我們的教堂座位中找到我們
因為我們總是去教堂
這是當我們沒有什麼事情可做的時候。

Attend a church? Of course we do.
Like others in our set.
Except on days that seem to be
Too hot, or cold, or wet.
And then of course in summer
Just to keep them up to par
We take the kids on Sundays
For a joy ride in the car.
Sometimes, too, in spring and fall
I take a Sunday off
And hike me to the country club
To have a game of golf.
But all other Sundays
You will find us in our pew
For we always go to church
When we’ve nothing else to do.
-----

新牧師和他的前任握手並且收到辦公室的鑰匙。新牧師的監督對他說：我在書桌裡為你留下3 個信封。只有在碰到嚴重問題時才能打開他們。

在6 個月之後因為教堂的預算無法編列，他碰到第一個問題。因此年輕的牧師打開第一個信封。裡面提到說：修改教會法規。他照著做了。

6 個月以後他在崇拜的服事革新方案上，又受到教堂董事會的攔阻反對。於是他打開第2 個信封。信封中提到：更換你的人員，他也照樣做了。

The new pastor shook hands with his predecessor and received the keys to the office. The departing minister said, “I’m leaving you three envelopes in the desk. Open them only if you’re in serious trouble.”

After six months the church wasn’t making budget, so the young pastor opened the first envelope. It said, “Change the constitution.” So he did.

Six months later he faced a rebellion on the church board over his innovation in the worship services. He opened the second envelope. It said, “Change your staff.” So he did.

Six months later, attendance was down by half. In desperation he opened the last envelope, which said, “Prepare three letters for your successor.” (Robert Moeller, Leadership Summer 1992)
-----

First Member: I thought the sermon was divine. It reminded me of the peace of God. It passed all understanding.

Second Member: It reminded me of the mercies of God. I thought it would endure forever.
-----

A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. “A priest. Somebody, get me a priest!” the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd – no priest, minister or man of God was present (or in sight). “A priest, please!” the dying man says again.

Then out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least eighty years of age. “Mr. Policeman,” says the man. “I’m not a priest. I’m not even a Catholic. But for fifty years now I’m living behind St. Elizabeth Catholic Church on First Avenue, and every night I listen to the Catholic litany. So maybe I can be of some comfort to this poor dying man.” The policeman agreed and brought the old man over to where the dying man lay. The old man kneels down, leans over to the injured and says in a solemn voice: “B-4. I-19. N-38. G-54. O-72. BINGO!’
-----

有一個故事說：有一個牧師某天在搭一個木棚架來支持正在爬的藤。
當他敲打時，他看到一個小男孩正在看他。這位男孩沒有說話，所以牧師繼續工作，思想小伙子馬上會走。但男孩沒有這樣做。最後，牧師問道：「小子，你是想學一些園藝技巧嗎？」，他回答說「沒有，我只是想等著聽一個牧師當他用榔頭打到手指頭時會罵什麼。」

There is a story about a pastor who was building a wooden trellis to support a climbing vine। As he pounded away, he saw that a little boy was watching him. The youngster didn’t say a word, so the pastor kept on working, thinking the lad would just leave. But he didn’t. Finally the pastor asked, “Well, son, are you trying to pick up some pointers on gardening?” “No,” he replied, “I’m just waiting to hear what a preacher says when he hits his thumb with a hammer.”
-----

Your Pastor and mine
If he is young, he lacks experience; if his hair is grey, he is too old; if he has five or six children, he has too many; if he has none,
he is setting a bad example. If his wife sings in the choir, she is being forward; if she does not, she is not interested in her husband’s work.
If he speaks from notes, he has canned sermons and is dry; if he is extemporaneous, he is not deep. If he spends too much time in his study, he neglects his people; if he is visible, he is a gadabout. If he is attentive to the poor, he is playing to the grandstand; if to the wealthy, he is trying
to be an aristocrat.
If he suggests improvements for the church, he is a dictator; if he makes no suggestion, he is a figurehead. If he uses too many illustrations, he neglects the bible; if not enough, he is not clear.
If he condemns wrong, he is cranky; if he does not, he is a compromiser. If he preaches the truth, he is offensive; if not , he is a hypocrite. If he preaches an hour; he is windy; if less, he is lazy.
If he fails to please everybody; he is hurting the church; if he does please everybody, he has no convictions. If he preaches tithing, he is a money grabber; if he does not, he is failing to develop his people.
If he receives a large salary, he is mercenary; if a small salary, it proves he is not worth much. If he preaches all the time, the people get tired of hearing one man; if he invites guests preachers, he is shirking responsibility.
SO WHAT! They say the preacher has an easy time.
-----

小女孩首次來到教堂。當她與她的父母離開時，牧師問她是否喜歡聚會。
「我喜歡這裡的音樂」她回答說，「但是廣告太長了。」

The little girl went to church for the first time. As she was leaving with her parents, the minister asked how she had liked church.” I liked the music,” she replied, “but the commercial was too long.”
-----

WHERE ARE OUR PRIORITIES?
Funny how a $20 bill looks so big when we take it to church and so small when we take it to the store.
Funny how big an hour serving GOD looks and how small 60 minutes are when spent playing golf, fishing, etc.
Funny how laborious it is to read a chapter in the Bible and how easy it is to read 3,000 pages of a best selling novel.
Funny how we believe what newspapers say but question what the Bible says.
Funny how we can’t think of anything to say when we pray and don’t have any difficulty thinking of things to talk to about to a friend.
Funny how we need 2 or 3 weeks to fit a church event into our schedule, but can adjust it for a social event at the last minute.
Funny how folks want to sit on the front row at a ball game or concert, but scramble to get a back seat at church services.
Funny how difficult to memorize scripture to share the simple gospel Message but how easy to hear and repeat gossip.
-----

健康公告
手持這張紙靠近你的鼻子，深吸一口氣。
如果紙變綠，你需要看醫生。
如果它會變成藍色，請見您的牙醫。
如果變成紅色，請見您的銀行經理。
如果變成黑色的，你需要檢查你的遺囑，所以立即去見您的律師。

然而，如果它不改變顏色，那麼就沒有什麼問題，所以，你沒有理由下週不再來教堂。

Bulletin Health
Hold this paper close to your nose and breath deeply.

If the sheet turns green, you need to see a doctor.
If it turns blue, see your dentist.
If it turns red, see your bank manager.
If it turns black, you need to check your will so see your lawyer immediately.

If, however, it does not change color, then there is nothing wrong with you and so there is no reason why you should not be in church again next week.
-----

A group of women were talking together. One woman said, “Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40 on a Sunday.”

Another said, “That’s nothing. Sometimes our congregation is down to six or seven.”

A maiden lady in her seventies added her bit, “Why, it’s so bad in our church on Sundays that when the minister says ‘dearly beloved,’ it makes me blush.”
-----

一個小鎮有4 個教會分別是長老會，衛理公會，天主教徒和浸信會。
全部4 間教堂都有一個嚴重的松鼠問題。每間教堂都開了會，決定用他們自己的方法去處理松鼠的問題。
那些長老會教友的決定是，因那些松鼠是上天注定派他們在教堂裡的，他們只好與他們同住。
那些衛理公會教徒決定他們應該在查理斯‧韋斯利的風格裡寬宏大量的處理松鼠。他們仁慈、小心翼翼的捕捉這些松鼠‧並且在城的邊緣一個公園中釋放他們。在3天內，這些松鼠全部又回到教堂中。
那些天主教徒也仁慈的捕捉這些松鼠，並且試圖教他們哪個當然教不會的節奏方法。
那些浸信會教友有最好的解決辦法。他們開會投票通過，決定松鼠成為他們的會員。現在他們只在耶誕節和復活節出現。

A small town had four churches Presbyterian, Methodist, Catholic and Baptist.
All four had a serious problem with squirrels in the church. Each church in its own fashion had a meeting to deal with the problem.
The Presbyterians decided that it was predestined that squirrels be in the church and that they would just have to live with them.
The Methodists decided they should deal with the squirrels lovingly in the style of Charles Wesley. They humanely trapped them and released them in a park at the edge of town. Within 3 days, they were all back in the church.
The Catholics also humanely trapped them and attempted to teach them the “rhythm” method which of course did not work.
The Baptists had the best solution. They voted the squirrels in as members. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
-----

為了您的安全起見
- 不要乘坐汽車： 20％的致命意外由汽車引起的。
- 不要留在家：17％的意外事故發生在家裡。
- 不要走在街上或人行道：14％的意外事故發生在行人身上。
- 不要搭乘飛機，火車，或船：16％的意外事故發生於此。
- 只有0.001％的死亡發生在教堂禮拜，而些這些都與先前已有的病痛有關。
所以，在任何時刻，最安全的地方就是教堂內。 [查經班更安全，它的百分比更少。]
去教堂！它可以挽救你的生命！

For Safety’s Sake
- Do NOT ride in automobiles: they cause 20% of all fatal accidents.
- Do NOT stay home: 17% of all accidents do occur in the home.
- Do NOT walk on the streets or sidewalks: 14% of all accidents happen to pedestrians.
- Do NOT travel by air, rail, or water: 16% of all accidents happen on these.
- Only .001% of all deaths occur in worship services in church, and these are related to previous physical disorders.
Hence, the safest place for you to be at any time is church. [Bible study is safe, too. The percentage there is even less.]
Go to church! IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE!
-----

Just before the beginning of the Sunday service at Saint Bartholomew’s on Fifth Avenue, New York City, a man wearing a large hat was discovered sitting in the front row. An usher moved to his pew, leaned in, and discreetly asked him to remove his hat. The man replied that he would not. The head usher was then summoned, made the same request, and received the same answer. About that time the president of the women of the parish arrived and was asked to assist. She had the same dismal result. Finally, with only two minutes remaining before the opening hymn, the senior warden of the parish was summoned. He tiptoed up beside the man and tried to seize the hat, but the man nimbly dodged and there was no time for further attempts.
As the opening hymn began and the procession entered the church the man stood, removed his hat and did not put it on again.
At the conclusion of the service, the four frustrated people waited for the man at the rear of the church. The senior warden approached him and said, “Sir, about the hat: perhaps you don’t understand, but in our church men do not wear hats at worship.” The man replied, “Oh but I do understand. I’ve been part of this denomination all my life. As a matter of fact, I’ve been coming to this church regularly for two years and I’ve never met a soul. But this morning I’ve met an usher, the head usher, the president of the church women, and the senior warden.”
-----

一位年輕的牧師正在一個教會牧會，但是每個星期天在聚會後，都有一人
不斷的講負面的東西。不論牧師談什麼話題，這名男子一直批評他。
一個星期天這個人說，「這是我聽過最差勁的講道。」
第二個星期天，那人又來了，跟大家說：「你看看那個叫佈道嗎？」
第三個星期日，他又叫：「這是我聽過最無聊的講道。」
牧師生氣的去找了長老們抱怨：「各位，這個人每個禮拜對我的信息都有批評」。
其中一位說：「哦不用理他。他有神經毛病，他只會重複他聽別人講過的話」

A young preacher was working with a congregation at which one man, every Sunday, would have something negative to say. It didn't matter what the preacher spoke on, this man always criticized it.
One Sunday he said, “That's about the sorriest sermon I ever heard.”

The next Sunday the man came by and said, “Do you call that a sermon?”

The third Sunday he said, “That is about the nearest nothing sermon I think I ever heard.”

The preacher got so upset that he went to the elders and said, “Gentlemen, every Sunday this man has some negative comment to make about my preaching.”

One of them said, “Oh, don't pay any attention to him.
He's just a half-wit. All he can say is what he repeats from other people...”
-----

Dear Pastor:

You often stress attendance at worship as being very important for a Christian, but I think a person has a right to miss now and then. I think every person ought to be excused for the following reasons and the number of times indicated:
Christmas (Sunday before or after)
New Year (Party lasted too long)
Easter (Get away for holidays)
July 4 (National holiday)
Labor Day (Need to get away)
Memorial Day (Visit hometown)
School Closing (Kids need break)
School Opens (One last fling)
Family Reunions (Mine & wife’s)
Sleep late (Saturday night activities)
Deaths in Family
Anniversary (Second honeymoon)
Sickness (One per family member)
Business Trips (A must)
Vacation (Three weeks)
Bad Weather (Ice, snow, rain, clouds)
Ball games
Unexpected Company (Can’t walk out)
Time changes (Spring ahead; fall back)
Special on TV (Super Bowl, etc.)
Pastor, that leaves only two Sundays per year. So, you can count on us to be in church on the fourth Sunday in February and the third Sunday in August unless providentially hindered.

Sincerely,
A Faithful Member
-----

在最近一個跨教派的會議中，一位秘書突然衝進高喊著：「大樓著火了！」
隨後：
衛理公會的人聚在角落裡禱告。
浸信會的人叫道：「水在哪裡？」
貴格會的人悄悄地稱讚上帝藉著大火所帶來的祝福。
路德會的人張貼公告，宣布火的邪惡。
天主教徒收奉獻來彌補火災的損失。
猶太人在大門上張貼符號，希望大火不會進入。
原教旨主義者宣稱，「這是上帝的報復！」
聖公會的人形成了遊行，大步走了出來。
科學教的得出結論認為：沒有火災發生。
長老會的人任命一名主席來成立一個委員會調查此事，並提交書面報告。
最後秘書抓起滅火器將火撲滅。

FIRE!
During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed in shouting, “The building is on fire!”
The Methodists gathered in the corner and prayed.
The Baptists cried, “Where is the water?”
The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that the fire brings.
The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring the fire evil.
The Roman Catholics passed the plate to cover the damage.
The Jews posted symbols on the doors hoping the fire would pass.
The fundamentalist proclaimed, “It’s the vengeance of God!”
The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out.
The Christian Scientists concluded that there was no fire.
The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson who was to appoint a committee to look into the matter and submit a written report.
The secretary grabbed the fire extinguisher and put the fire out.
-----

Good News/Bad News for Ministers
Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.
Good News: The Women’s Guild voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.
Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.
Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.
Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the “Gong Show,” “Beavis and Butthead” and “Texas Chain Saw Massacre.”
Good News: Your women’s softball team finally won a game.
Bad News: They beat your men’s softball team.
Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.
Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.
Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.
Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.
Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church.
Bad News: He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your denomination.
Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit.
Bad News: It’s in the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to “decorate” your house.
-----

The results of a computerized survey indicate the perfect minister preaches exactly fifteen minutes. He condemns sins but never upsets anyone. He works from 8:00 AM until midnight and is also a janitor. He makes $50 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a good car, and gives about $50 weekly to the poor. He is 28 years old and has preached 30 years. He has a burning desire to work with teenagers and spends all of his time with senior citizens. The perfect minister smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his work. He makes 15 calls daily on congregation families, shut-ins and the hospitalized, and is always in his office when needed.
If your minister does not measure up, simply send this letter to six other churches that are tired of their minister, too. Then bundle up your minister and send him to the church on the top of the list. In one week, you will receive 1,643 ministers and one of them will be perfect. Have faith in this procedure.
-----

一個主日的早上，一位老牛仔來到一間教堂剛好趕上崇拜聚會。雖然他和衣著看起來都很乾淨，卻穿著牛仔褲、棉布襯衫和老舊長筒靴、頭上戴著一頂舊帽子、手上拿著一本舊聖經。

這間教堂位於城市的高級社區、是這位老牛仔從未看過的那麼漂亮的教堂。會眾也看起來都像是上流人士、穿著昂貴衣著。老牛仔找了個位置一坐下來，其他人卻挪移開他、沒有人問候他、和他講話歡迎他，會眾們沒有隱藏他們對於老牛仔外表的驚訝。牧師在冗長的證道中強調教會需要多少款項來作神的工。

當老牛仔將要離開教堂時，牧師過去和他打招呼請他幫個忙、說，「下次你來教堂之前、請和神談一下問祂應該穿什麼衣著來參加崇拜。「老牛仔保証他會照辦。

下一個主日，老牛仔穿著相同的襤褸的牛仔衣著又回到這間教堂，同樣地會眾迴避著他、忽視他；牧師過來跟他說，「我想我曾經請你和神談一下、」
老牛仔回答，「我有和神談過了」
牧師問，「那麼神說應該穿什麼衣著來這裡參加崇拜呢？」
老牛仔回答，「牧師、祂說祂沒有任何的線索來提示我該穿什麼衣著，
因為祂從未來過這間教堂。」

One Sunday an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin.

Although the old man and his clothes were clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn. He carried a worn out old hat and an equally worn out Bible.

The church was in a very upscale part of the city, the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were likewise upscale, dressed with the most expensive of clothes.

As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were appalled at his appearance and didn’t attempt to hide it. The preacher gave a long sermon and a lecture on how much money the church needed to do God’s work.

As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor. “Before you come back, have a talk with God and ask him what He thinks would be appropriate attire for worship.” The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.

The next Sunday, he returned to the same church wearing the same ragged jeans. Again, the congregation shunned and ignored him. Again, the preacher approached him and said, “I thought I asked you to speak to God”.... “

“I did,” replied the old cowboy.

“What exactly did God say was the proper attire for worshiping here?” asked the preacher.

“Well, sir, God told me that He didn’t have a clue what I should wear. He says He’s never been in this church.”
----

奧馬利神父被邀請參加民主黨的聚會，來表明上帝是在他們當中。
到場時，他發現自己坐在一個不信者的旁邊。

「神父，我希望你能原諒我這樣講」這個人開口說，「我從來不去教會。」

「為什麼不呢？」神父問。

「坦白地說，我之所以不去，是因為那裡有那麼多偽君子。」

「這不應該讓你避開」神父和藹地微笑著。「總有空間多加一個人。」

Father O’Malley, who had been invited to show that God was on the side of the Democratic Party, found himself sitting next to a disbeliever.

“I hope you’ll forgive me for saying so, Father,” said the miscreant, opening up a conversation, “but I never go to church.”

“Why not?” asked the priest.

“Frankly, sir, the reason I don’t go is because there are so many hypocrites there.”

“That shouldn’t keep you away,” retorted the good Father, smiling blandly. “There’s always room for one more.”
-----

The Ideal Pastor
The ideal pastor is difficult to find. But if your church is fortunate, you may be able to secure his services. Since he is the ideal pastor, it won’t cost very much - he lives by faith. Yet he can be counted upon to tithe heavily and still be able to afford a large house in which he will regularly entertain the entire congregation.

He loves the older folks of the church, visiting them regularly. Besides this, he spends all of his time with the young people. The glow on his face reveals his secret. He’s spent many hours on his knees before God. However, he’s always available to anyone who drops by for a friendly chat. What’s a half-hour out of his schedule since he only works on Sunday anyway.

The ideal pastor loves to disciple new converts and gives full-time attention to calling on the elderly, ill, and shut-in. He has a model family, is always in the church office when you call and is busy at the hospital, just looking for a soul to comfort. He would never miss a church function, and attends every function sponsored by the ministerial association. In addition, he meets all his neighbors and civic leaders within the community and wins their hearts too.

The ideal pastor has a worldwide ministry through television, radio, tapes, and books and he travels extensively preaching the Word. He still has time, however, to listen to everyone’s problems and wants to be updated on the progress of your bunions and backaches.

The ideal pastor is only 29 and has been preaching 30 years. He preaches sermons that win the hearts of the lost and inspire the minds of the mature. He produces miracles like Smith Wigglesworth, teaches faith like Kenneth Hagin, evangelizes like Billy Graham, has the eloquence of Spurgeon and the fervor of Moody. Yet he is so profoundly simple that even preschoolers are blessed. Teenagers take notes on his sermons.

The ideal pastor comprehends the complexity of church finances, has mastery of the church budget, and never talks about money. He is a strong believer in holiness and church discipline and never speaks a stern word to anyone.

The ideal pastor is easily spotted. Just look for the man dressed in the latest style suit and color coordinated outfit. He found it at the bottom of the missionary barrel, but knows how important it is to impress well-to-do newcomers with clothes that say “success” and “achievement.”

The ideal pastor is tall, short, lean, and husky, with brown hair and blond hair. He has a deep, resonant voice which, because it is quietly loud, pleases everyone and is audible to the hard of hearing. He can sing, lead music, and delegates authority to everyone. Besides this, he helps each layman and does all the things other people are too busy to do. In short, he keeps the entire church and each family running smoothly.

You are probably sure by now that you don’t have the ideal pastor. Take heart! You can easily re-shape your present pastor. He should listen to what you say, after all, he is God’s servant.

On the other hand, if you happen to have the ideal pastor, just wait a little while and you won’t. He’ll be confined to a room at the hospital.

There is an alternative: love the pastor you do have and pray for him. You prayed, God answered, and now you have him - at least until he finds the ideal church full of ideal church members.

(Modified slightly from The Evangelical Beacon, magazine of the Evangelical Free Church of America, copyright 1984)
-----

一位年輕的牧師剛剛向會眾宣布，因他已接受別處的呼招，需要在此辭職。聚會後他照慣例站在門旁道別會友們，一個老婦人走近他，她的眼睛充滿了淚水。老婦人抽泣著說：「哦，牧師，我很遺憾你已經決定離開。這裡將不會像過去一樣了」。年輕人有些受寵若驚，但同樣的把婦人的雙手握住，並用最善意回答說「親愛的夫人，上帝保佑妳，我相信上帝會給這教會的新牧師，甚至比我更好」她強忍抽泣的回答「他們都是這麼說的，但是一個還是比一個糟」。

The young preacher had just announced to his congregation that he was requesting the dissolution of the pastoral relationship in order to accept another call. He was standing at the door after the service and greeting people, as preachers are wont to do, when one of the elderly saints approached him, her eyes swimming with tears. She sobbed, “Oh, pastor, I’m so sorry you’ve decided to leave. Things will never be the same again.” The young man was flattered, but was equal to the situation and took her hands in his and most benevolently replied, “Bless you, dear lady, but I’m sure that God will send you a new pastor even better than I.” She choked back a sob and was heard to say, “That’s what they all say, but they keep getting worse and worse.”
-----

The church was bowed in grief this week to learn that one of our most valuable members, Someone Else, passed away. This death creates a vacancy that will be difficult to fill. Someone Else has been with us for many years, he did far more that a normal person’s share of the work. Whenever leadership was mentioned, this wonderful person was looked to for inspiration as well as results. Whenever there was a job to do, a class to teach, or a meeting to attend, one name was on everyone’s mind: “Let Someone Else Do It!” Someone Else was also among the largest givers of the chruch. Whenever there was a financial need, everyone just assumed that Someone Else would make up the difference. This beloved church member was a wonderful person, sometims appearing super-human but a person can only do so much. Everybody expected to much from Someone Else. Now Someone Else is gone. Who will pitch in to do the things that Someone Else did? If you are asked to take a job in the church, we hope you won’t reply, “Let Someone Else Do It!” Now we need you to pick up where Someone Else left off!
-----

幾個世紀前在歐洲的一個小山村，一個富裕的貴族在考慮應該留什麼樣的遺產給他的鄉民。他做了一個很好的決定，他決定蓋一間教會給他們。沒有人被允許看到或計劃內的教堂，直到它被完成。在它的盛大開幕時，人們聚集並驚嘆新教堂的美麗。
這是一個傑作。一切都該有的都在裡面。
但後來有人說：“等一下！燈在哪裡？這裡實在是很黑，教會將如何被點亮呢？”貴族指著牆壁上的托架，然後他給每個家庭一盞燈，要他們每一次崇拜都帶來。 “每次你在這裡'”貴族說，“你坐的地方會被點亮；每次你不在這裡，那個地方就會是暗的。這是為了提醒你，只要你不來教會，神的家有些部分將會是暗的“

Several centuries ago in a mountain village in Europe, a wealthy nobleman wondered what legacy he should leave to his townspeople। He made a good decision. He decided to build them a church. No one was permitted to see the plans or the inside of the church until it was finished. At its grand opening, the people gathered and marveled at the beauty of the new church.

Everything had been thought of and included. It was a masterpiece.

But then someone said, “Wait a minute! Where are the lamps? It is really quite dark in here। How will the church be lighted?” The nobleman pointed to some brackets in the walls, and then he gave each family a lamp, which they were to bring with them each time they came to worship. “Each time you are here’“ the nobleman said, “the place where you are seated will be lighted. Each time you are not here, that place will be dark. This is to remind you that whenever you fail to come to church, some part of God’s house will be dark”
-----

主日學老師在上教堂的途中問孩子們，「有人知道為什麼在教會聚會時需要安靜嗎？」一個聰明的小女孩回答說：「因為大家都在睡覺。」

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?” One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”
-----

三個牧師聚在一起用晚餐。
第一個牧師說「你們知道嗎，從這個暑假開始我郵件麻煩事就是教會有老鼠。我已經試了很多的方法、噪音、噴劑、貓，但似乎就是嚇不走牠們。」
第二個牧師接著說：「是的，我也是，我也有幾百隻在教會的地下室，我放了補鼠器甚至找專家來滅鼠，但還趕不走牠們！」
第三位牧師滿臉笑容的說：「我也有過這樣的問題，所以我為所有的老鼠施洗同時將牠們變為教會的會友…從那時開始就沒有一隻回來過！！！」

Three Pastors were having lunch together at a diner. The first Pastor said, “Ya know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with mice in my church. I’ve tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away. The second Pastor then said “Yea, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in the basement of the church. I’ve set traps and even called an expert to get rid of them, yet they still won’t go away.” With a on his face, the third Pastor said, “I had the same problem so I baptized all mine and made them members of the church... Haven’t seen one back since!!!”
-----

主日崇拜以後，小明忽然對母親宣布﹕『媽，我已經決定長大以後要當牧師。』

『當牧師很好呵，』媽媽說﹕『不過你為什麼決定要當牧師呢？』

小明回答說﹕『反正我星期日必須上教會。與其坐著聽訓，還不如站在上面訓別人比較過癮。』

After church on Sunday morning, Little Johnny suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided I’m going to be a minister when I grow up.

“That’s okay with us,” the mother said, “But what made you decide to be a minister?”

“Well,” Little Johnny replied, “I’ll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit still and get yelled at.”
-----

週日的講道冗長且沉悶，特別對於一個六歲的男孩而言，他好不容易才撐過去。

「牧師在週間做什麼呢？」在回家的路上，男孩問他的父親。

「噢，」父親回答，「他有很多事情要做。他整週都要與有困難的人協談，他要探訪有病通的人，主持葬禮和婚禮，寫教會的佈告。然後就是准備他的週日的證道，一項很困難的工作。」

「很困難的工作？證道？」

「是的，」父親回答，「他在證道上非常盡力。」

「嗯，聽他的證道也不是一件容易的事。」

The Sunday sermon was long and tedious, especially for the six year old boy, who squirmed through most of it.

“What does the pastor do the rest of the week,” the boy asked as he and his father headed home?”

“Oh,” his father responded, “he has plenty to do.” He counsels people with problems all week long, he visits the sick, conducts funerals and weddings writes the church bulletin. And then there’s a lot of hard work preparing his Sunday sermon.”

“Hard work? The Sermon?”

“Yeah,’ said the father, “he works hard on that sermon.”

“Well, listening to it ain’t easy either.”
-----

一個基督徒搬到一個純粹天主教的社區，為了做好的天主教徒，那些人都歡迎他搬進他們的社區，但是因為他們都是好的天主教徒，他們星期五晚上不吃紅肉，因此當這個基督徒鄰居在星期五晚上烤可口美味的牛排時，他們開始覺得不舒服。他們覺得很困擾，因此去找他談，談了許久之後，他們終於說服他變成一個天主教徒。

到下個星期的時候，他們去找神父，神父用聖水灑在他的身上說：「你生為基督徒，長為基督徒，但現在你是天主教徒。」

到下個星期五的時候，當這些天主教徒坐下來要吃魚的時候，他們又被隔壁傳來的牛肉香困擾，於是他們就想過去告訴那人天主教徒星期五是不能吃紅肉的，當他們看到他的時候，他正在把番茄醬灑在牛肉上說：「你生為牛，長為牛，但現在你是魚。」

A Protestant moved into a completely Catholic community. Being good Catholics they welcomed him into their community. But, also because they were good Catholics they did not eat red meat on Fridays. So when their neighbor began barbecuing some juicy steak on Friday night, they began to squirm. They were so annoyed that they went to talk to him about it. After much talk they convinced him to become Catholic.

The next Sunday he went to the priest and the priest sprinkled holy water on him and said, “You were born Protestant. You were raised Protestant. But now you are Catholic.” And so, the next Friday, as the neighbors sat down to eat their fish, they were disturbed by the smell of roast beef coming from the neighboring house.

They went over to talk to the new Catholic because he knew he was not supposed to eat beef on Fridays. When they saw him, he was sprinkling ketchup on the beef saying, “You were born a cow. You were raised a cow. But now you are fish.”
-----

我們正在找一位適合的牧師，以下的草稿紙是為了讓你們仔細閱讀而出的。這些候選人是由這個委員會調查研究而出，只有一個具備這些必要特質的人會被找到。這個名單包括這些候選人的名字，並且加以註釋。你應該會感興趣為了牧師候選人更進一步地調查研究他們。

約翰：他說他是一個施浸者，但不夠得體，而且穿著像嬉皮，他對教會愛餐感到不自在。
彼得：有壞脾氣，而且聽說他曾經否定基督。
保羅：我們發覺他不夠圓融，他太粗魯，他的外表粗俗，而且他的講道太長。
提摩太：他有潛力，但是他太過年輕，不適合這個職位。
耶穌：他的講道有時會冒犯會友，特別是聖經學者。他也太有爭議性。他所指出的問題甚至會冒犯聘牧委員會。
猶大：他似乎很實際，樂意合作，很會理財，關懷窮人，而且穿著得體。我們都同意他就是那一位我們正在尋找的主任牧師人選。

謝謝你們在聘牧事上給我們的所有協助。
聘牧委員會主席

In our search for a suitable pastor, the following scratch sheet was developed for your perusal. Of the candidates investigated by the committee, only one was found to have the necessary qualities. The list contains the names of the candidates and comments on each, should you be interested in investigating them further for future pastoral placements.

JOHN: He says he is a Baptist but lacks tact and dresses like a hippie. He would not feel comfortable at a church potluck supper.
PETER: Has a bad temper, and was heard to have even denied Christ publicly.
PAUL: We found him to lack tact. He is too harsh, his appearance is contemptible, and he preaches far too long.
TIMOTHY: He has potential, but is much too young for the position.
JESUS: He tends to offend church members with his preaching, especially Bible scholars. He is also too controversial. He even offended the search committee with his pointed questions.
JUDAS: He seemed to be very practical, co-operative, good with money, cares for the poor, and dresses well. We all agreed that he is just the man we are looking for to fill the vacancy as our Senior Pastor.

Thank you for all you have done in assisting us with our pastoral search.
Pastoral Search Committee Chairman
-----

三個男孩在學校校園裡自誇他們的父親，第一個男孩說：「我父親在一章紙上胡寫幾個字，他稱這是詩，他們就給他50塊美金。」

第二個男孩說：「那沒有什麼。我的父親在一章紙上亂寫，他稱這是歌。他們就給他100塊美金。」

第三個男孩說：「我打敗你們兩個。我的父親在一張紙上隨便寫，他稱這是講道。他要花八個人去收集所有的錢。」

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.”

The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.”

The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!”
-----

一張一美元的鈔票遇見一張20美元的鈔票並且說，「喂，你一直在哪兒呢？我很久都沒有在周圍看見你了。」

這20 元美鈔回答說，「我常常在娛樂場，豪華客輪並且周游世界，並且剛剛回到美國，又參加了兩場棒球比賽，再到商業區轉了一圈兒，就這些吧。你怎么樣？」

一美元的鈔票說，「你知道，都是老地方︰教堂，教堂，教堂。」

A one dollar bill met a 20 dollar bill and said, “Hey, where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around here much.”

The twenty answered, “I’ve been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?”

The one dollar bill said, “You know, same old stuff: church, church, church.”
-----

有一個人，他素行不良，常作壞事，可是每到禮拜天，他也會到教堂虔誠的禮拜神。
有一天牧師提醒他，不但要真心的敬拜神且要謹慎自己的言行舉止，才是神所喜悅的基督徒。他立即說：「每個禮拜天，我都到禮拜堂參加禮拜，也都有捐獻，難道不算是個基督徒？」
牧師回答說：「你以為每個禮拜天到禮拜堂坐一坐，你就會『變成』天使嗎？」
-----

美國葛理翰牧師是本世紀最知名、向最多人佈道的佈道家；雖已近八十高齡，仍馬不停蹄四處傳揚福音，因此廣受普世教會與基督徒們的景仰。有一次，一個信徒問葛理翰：「葛牧師，我知道你去過無數間教會，我最近想換教會，你能不能為我介紹一間你心目中最完美的教會。」葛理翰回答：「弟兄，這世上沒有最完美的教會，就算有，也會因為你的加入而變得不完全。」
-----

教會的三種逼迫
1) 外在的逼迫：來自國家、地方政府，或其他宗教團體。
2) 內在的逼迫：基督徒彼此鬥爭、互相逼迫。
3) 毫無逼迫：因為教會根本不值得逼迫，教會的價值觀和生活型態早已和不敬虔的社會融成一片；鹽已失去鹹味，被踐踏在社會腳下，根本沒有人會注意到它。（《改變世界的家》，148）
-----

Quotes引證 :
I can recall the time -- eighteen years ago, in May of 1950 -- when I first came out to Palo Alto, right after graduation from Dallas Seminary, and spoke for the first time to the little group that was meeting in the Community Center. I remember the story I used to introduce that message. It was of a stranger who was visiting a certain town and who stopped one of the natives and asked him where the churches were located. This fellow happened to be something of a wag, and he said, “Well, the Episcopal church is down by the theater, the synagogue is next to the bank, the Presbyterian church is over by the cemetery, the Methodist church is next to the golf course, and the Baptists are down by the river.” Ray Stedman

Quit griping about your church; if it were perfect, you couldn’t belong.

Percentage of new church members who have come from another church: 80 (Leadership Summer 1992)

If I ever begin to feel like a minister, I’ll get out of the ministry. Joe Aldrich

A church built by the flesh and a church built by the Spirit can look the same. That’s scary. Joe Aldrich

You can tell how popular the church is by Sunday attendance, the pastor is by evening service and Jesus is by prayer meeting.

Tradition is the living faith of the dead and traditionalism is the dead faith of the living. Jarislav Pelican

A religion that gives nothing, costs nothing, and suffers nothing, is worth nothing. Martin Luther.
Of all bad men religious bad men are the worst. C.S. Lewis

Finding a church is not so much as finding the right one but avoiding the wrong ones. Art Lum

The church is not a club of saints; it is a hospital for sinners.

The Bank (of England) finds itself in a position rather like a church whose congregation attends weddings and burials but ignores the sermons. Mervyn King (Bank of England governor)

To love to preach is one thing, to love those to whom we preach is quite another. Richard Cecil

I trust I am not one who pounds because he can't expound. Vance Havener

Never think of giving up preaching! The angels around the throne envy you and your great work! Alexander Whyte

One proof of the inspiration of Scripture is that it has withstood so many years of poor preaching. A.T. Robertson

It is possible to be homiletically brilliant, verbally fluent, theologically profound, biblically orthodox and spirtually useless if we focus upon our gifts and abilities instead instead of the Giver of those gifts. G. Campbell Morgan

Communication溝通，Conduct行為，Contentment知足，Courage勇氣

2007-11-18T23:57:00.005-08:00

COMMUNICATION 溝通
Xanthus, the philosopher, once told his servant that the next day he was going to have some friends for dinner and that he should get the best thing he could find in the market. The philosopher and his guests sat down the next day at the table. They had nothing but tongue—four or five courses of tongue—tongue cooked in this way, and tongue cooked in that way. The philosopher finally lost his patience and said to his servant, “Didn’t I tell you to get the best thing in the market?” The servant said, “I did get the best thing in the market. Isn’t the tongue the organ of sociability, the organ of eloquence, the organ of kindness, the organ of worship?” Then Xanthus the philosopher said, “Tomorrow I want you to get the worst thing in the market.” And on the morrow the philosopher sat at the table, and there was nothing there but tongue—four or five courses of tongue—tongue in this shape and tongue in that shape. The philosopher again lost his patience and said, “Didn’t I tell you to get the worst thing in the market?” The servant replied, “I did; for isn’t the tongue the organ of blasphemy, the organ of defamation, the organ of lying?” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 819)
-----

Once a young man came to that great philosopher Socrates to be instructed in oratory. The moment the young man was introduced he began to talk, and there was an incessant stream for some time. When Socrates could get in a word, he said, “Young man, I will have to charge you a double fee.” “A double fee, why is that?” The old sage replied, “I will have to teach you two lessons. First, how to hold your tongue, and then how to use it.” What an art for all of us to learn, especially for Christians. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 821)
-----

John Wesley’s preaching was marked by his constant use of the plainest, simplest words our language affords. Writing to one whose style was very high-sounding he said, “When I had been a member of the university about ten years I wrote and talked much as you do now, but when I talked to plain people, I observed that they gaped and stared. This quickly obliged me to alter my style and adopt the language of those I spoke to; and yet there is a dignity in this simplicity which is not disagreeable to those of the highest rank.” Another preacher said, “If you preach so that the simplest person in the audience can understand you, the most educated is also sure to get the message.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 534)
-----

A minister felt that the words he spoke from Sunday to Sunday were not bearing the fruit they should. One Saturday morning after he had finished writing his sermon, the thought occurred to him, “Perhaps I shoot too high. I will go down and see if Betty can understand it.” Betty was a trusted kitchen helper. He went to the kitchen and called her to come and hear his sermon. She hesitated but came when he insisted. After he had read a few sentences he asked, “Do you understand that?” “No,” she replied. He repeated the idea in simpler language and then asked her if she saw it. “I see it a little,” she said. Again he simplified it. She saw it more clearly and showed deep interest but said to him, “Plane it down a little more.” And once again he simplified it. Then she exclaimed with ecstasy, “Now I see it! Now I understand it!” He returned to his study and rewrote his sermon in the simple style that Betty could understand. On Sunday morning he went to church in fear and trembling lest his people should be contemptuous of his sermon but he fully resolved to try the experiment. To his surprise, he found he received better attention than ever before, and there were tears in the eyes of many of his congregation. From that time on, he changed his style of language and had no further cause to feel that his work was unsuccessful. Clarity of thought and expression do not rob our testimony of its depth and significance. A witness for Christ need never fear oversimplification. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 535)
-----

That forthright English clergyman, Dr. R. W. Dale, made this response to a young preacher who insisted that ministers must preach relevantly, to the times. “Young man, don’t preach to the times. Go and preach to broken hearts and you will preach relevantly.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 535)
-----

At the close of a service, a preacher was stopped by a gentleman who, after conceding that the sermon possessed certain commendable features, added, “But it had one noticeable defect!” The startled minister, on inquiring what this defect was, received the following reply: “I am a Jew. I have only recently been born again. Up to that time I attended the synagogue. But there was really nothing in your sermon that I could not have heard in the synagogue, nothing that a Jewish rabbi might not have preached.” “That,” said the preacher in later years, “was the greatest lesson in homiletics I was ever taught.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 538)
-----

Once that great Puritan preacher, Thomas Manton, had to speak before the Lord Mayor and Aldermen of London. He chose a subject in which he had an opportunity of displaying his learning and judgment. He was heard with admiration by the intelligent part of his audience, but as he was returning from dinner with the Lord Mayor, a poor man pulled him by the sleeve and asked if he were the gentleman that preached the sermon. He replied that he was. “Sir,” said the man, “I came with the hopes of getting some good to my soul, but I was greatly disappointed, for I could not get a great deal of what you said; you were quite above my understanding.” “Friend,” said Dr. Manton, “if I have not given you a sermon, you have given me one. By the grace of God, I will not play the fool in such a manner again.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 539)
-----

Someone told G. Campbell Morgan that the preacher must catch the spirit of the age. Immediately this great preacher answered, “God forgive the preacher who does that. The preacher’s business is to correct the spirit of the age.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 540)
-----

James Inglis was a graduate of Edinburgh University, learned and eloquent. He became the most popular preacher in Detroit, Michigan. Eager listeners filled his church to overflowing. One day, when he was preparing sermons for the following Sunday, it seemed as though a voice said to him, “James Inglis, whom are you preaching?” Startled, he answered, “I am preaching good theology.” “I did not ask what you are preaching, but whom you are preaching.” Inglis answered, “I am preaching the gospel.” Again the voice said, “I did not ask you what you are preaching; I asked whom you are preaching.” Silent, with bowed head, the preacher sat for a long time. Then rousing himself he cried, “O my God, I am preaching James Inglis, but henceforth I will preach Christ and Him crucified.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 541)
-----

“My dear boy,” said a father, “take a word of advice from an old man who loves peace. An insult is like mud; it will brush off much better when it is dry. Wait a little till you both are cool; then the broken relationship will be easily mended. If you go now, it will be only to quarrel.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 481)
-----

Some people are like the man who said he was afraid he was going to be of no use in the world because he had only one talent. “Oh, that need not discourage you,” said his pastor. “What is your talent?” “The talent of judging others, of criticism.” “Well, I advise you,” said his pastor, “to do with it what the man of one talent did with his, bury it. Criticism may be useful when mixed with other talents, but those whose only activity is to criticize the workers might as well be buried, talent and all.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 414)
-----

Let us not be like that man who is always quick to judge his fellowmen: If he is poor, he is a bad manager. If he is rich, he is dishonest. If he needs credit, he can’t get it. If he is prosperous, everyone wants a favor from him. If he’s in politics, it’s for pie. If he is out of politics, you can’t place him, and he’s no good for his country. If he doesn’t give to charity, he’s stingy. If he does, it’s for show. If he is actively religious, he is a hypocrite. If he takes no interest in religion, he’s a hardened sinner. If he shows affection, he’s a soft specimen. If he seems to care for no one, he’s cold-blooded. If he dies young, there was a great future ahead of him. If he lives to an old age, he has missed his calling. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 415)
-----

Many critical Christians are like that Persian youth who was very meticulous about his religious duties. He would rise up in the middle of the night to watch, pray, and read the Koran. One night as he was engaged in these exercises his father, a man of practical virtue, awoke while his son was reading. “Behold,” the religious youth said to his father, “thy other children are lost in irreligious slumber, while I alone wake to praise God.” “Son of my soul,” the wise father answered, “it is better to sleep than to awake to notice the faults of thy brothers!” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 419)
-----

The story is told of a man and an angel who were walking along together. The man was complaining about his neighbors. “I never saw such a wretched set of people,” he said, “as are in this village. They are mean, greedy, selfish, and careless of the needs of others. Worst of all, they are forever speaking evil of one another.” “Is it really so?” asked the angel. “It is, indeed,” said the man. “Why, only look at this fellow coming toward us! I know his face, though I cannot remember his name. See his little shark-like, cruel eyes, darting here and there like a ferret's, and the lines of hardness about his mouth! The very droop of his shoulders is mean and cringing, and he slinks along instead of walking.” “It is very clever of you to see all this,” said the angel, “but there is one thing that you did not perceive—that is a mirror we are approaching.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 149)
-----

最近收到朋友的電郵，提到一個關於垃圾車的人生哲理，意譯如下。一天我乘的士到機場，途中停在右邊泊車位的黑色車子突然駛出，幸而的士司機及時煞車，避過碰撞。黑色車的司機回頭向我們怒吼，而那位的士司機只是友善地對他笑了笑。我覺得奇怪，問的士司機為何那麼輕易放過那位司機，他便告訴我「垃圾車理論」：「世上很多人就像垃圾車一樣，心中充滿垃圾、挫折感和失望。當他們的垃圾愈積愈多而需要發泄時，就只會將這些垃圾倒向身邊的人。所以，不要將垃圾都扛到自己身上，當遇到這些事情時，嘗試微笑、揮揮手、祝他們一切安好，然後繼續走自己的路。請謹記，不要接收他們的垃圾，然後傳到工作、家庭或街上的人。」這個理論的重點是：生命苦短，不要讓垃圾充塞生活，令自己早上醒來時，總是充滿後悔。王維基, 站出來澄清的衝動 2009-01-09 http://www.hkheadline.com/dailynews/headline_news_detail_columnist.asp?id=68592&section_name=wtt&kw=%B0%F2%AB%E4more%A4H%A1X%A1X%AF%B8%A5X%A8%D3%BC%E1%B2M%AA%BA%BD%C4%B0%CA
-----

William Lyon Phelps, professor of English Literature at Yale, declares he gets credit for only 25 per cent of the after-dinner speeches he actually makes. “Every time I accept an invitation to speak, I really make four addresses. First, is the speech I prepare in advance. That is pretty good. Second, is the speech I really make. Third, is the speech I make on the way home, which is the best of all; and fourth, is the speech the newspapers next morning say I made, which bears no relation to any of the others.” (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
-----

“Sir,” screeched the wild-haired man, “are you opposed to free speech?”

“Not unless I am compelled to listen to it,” replied old Festus Pester.
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
-----

"I believe in free speech!” exclaimed the vociferous man.

“So do I,” rejoined Uncle Bill Bottletop; “so do I. But in one respect free speech reminds me of the free lunch in the old days. You hate to see a man making a pig of himself just because something’s free.”
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
-----

有三位牧師前往牧師會議室，在那裡一起分享。第一位說：「讓我們彼此為個人隱私的惡習來認罪吧！我先開始：我隱私的惡習是沈溺賭博當中。當我出了城外，所有機器響起cha-ching cha-ching聲音來。」第二位說：「我個人隱藏的惡習是我耽溺飲酒。當我出到城外，」我喜歡拿起一小杯品嚐一番。」第三位說：「我隱藏的惡習是說閒話，我迫不及待離開這裡了！」

Three pastors went to the pastor’s convention and were all sharing one room.

The first pastor said, “Let’s confess our secret vices one to another. I’ll start - my secret vice is I just love to gamble. When I go out of town, it’s cha-ching cha-ching, let the machines ring.”

The second pastor said, “My secret vice is that I just love to drink. When I go out of town, I like to take a little nip of something.”

The third pastor said, “My secret vice is gossiping and I can’t wait to get out of this room!”
-----

有一次音樂老師問他班上學生「傾聽」和「聽見」有何差異。一開始鴉雀無聲，最後坐在後面的一位學生舉手給予聰明的定義：「傾聽就是正想要聽！」

A music teacher once asked her class what is the difference between listening and hearing. At first there was no response. Finally a hand went up at the back of the class and one of the young people offered this wise definition: “Listening is wanting to hear!”
-----

According to Albert Mehrabian, these three elements account differently for our liking for the person who puts forward the message: words account for 7%, tone of voice accounts for 38%, and body language accounts for 55% of the liking. They are often abbreviated as the “3 Vs” for Verbal, Vocal & Visual.
-----

Ability of speech in time and season is an especial gift of God, and that eminently with respect unto the spiritual things of the Gospel; but a profluency of speech, venting itself on all occasions and on no occasions, making men open their mouths wide when indeed they should shut them and open their ears, and to pour out all that they know and ... what they do not know, making them angry if they are not heard and impatient if they are contradicted, is an unconquerable fortification against all true spiritual wisdom. John Owen
-----

一個主日早上，牧師傳講了一篇有關屬靈恩賜的講章。散會後，一位姐妹在門口對他說：牧師，我想我有批評人的恩賜。牧師看著她，對她說：你是否還記得在耶穌的比喻中，那位只有一個恩賜的人？這位姐妹點點頭。你還記得他做了什麽嗎？記得，姐妹囘答說：他出去將它埋在土裏。牧師建議說：那你就去如此行吧！

One Sunday morning the minister preached a sermon on spiritual gifts. After the service, he was greeted at the door by a lady, who said, “Pastor, I believe I have the gift of criticism.” The pastor looked at her and asked, “Do you remember the person in Jesus’ parable who had one talent?” The woman nodded her head. “Do you recall what he did with it?” “Yes,” replied the lady, “he went out and buried it.” The pastor suggested, “Go, thou, and do likewise!”
-----

有一次，有一個國王夢見他的牙齒全掉了。他立刻把他其中一位叫來為他解夢。用一個很悲哀的口吻告訴王，夢的意思是王所有的親戚都會同時去世，撇下他一個人。王聼了很生氣地把趕走。另外一個進來為王解夢。這位有智慧的說：王啊！您當喜樂，夢的意思是您會再活很多年。其實，您會比您的親戚更長命。王聼了很高興，就厚厚地獎賞這位。這兩個人用不同的方法詞句說了同樣的内容。

Once a king dreamed that all his teeth had fallen out. Immediately he sent for one of his soothsayers to interpret the meaning of his vision. With a sad countenance and mournful voice, the soothsayer told the monarch that the dream meant that all his relatives would die and that he would be left alone. This angered the king and he drove the servant from his presence.
Another was called and the king told him of the dream. At this, the wise man smiled, and replied, “Rejoice, O King; the dream means that you will live yet many years. In fact you will outlive all your relatives.” This pleased the king a great deal, and in his joy he gave the interpreter a rich reward. The two men had said, in different ways, the same thing - Clyde N. Parker (Tan #6334)
-----

An American Indian was in downtown New York, walking with his friend who lived in New York. Suddenly he said, “I hear a cricket.”
Oh, you’re crazy,” his friend replied.
“No, I hear a cricket. I do! I’m sure of it.”
“It’s the noon hour. There are people bustling around, cars honking, taxis squealing, noises from the city. I’m sure you can’t hear it.”
“I’m sure I do.” He listened attentively and then walked to the corner, across the street, and looked all around. Finally on the corner he found a shrub in a large cement planter. He dug beneath the leaves and found a cricket. His friend was astounded. But the Cherokee said, “No. My ears are no different from yours. It simply depends on what you are listening to. Here, let me show you.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of change- a few quarters, some dimes, nickels, and pennies. And he dropped it on the concrete. Every head within a block turned. You see what I mean?” he said as he began picking up his coins. “It all depends on what you are listening for.” (Illustrations for Preaching and Teaching: From Leadership Journal # 225 1993/Christianity Today/Baker Book House)
-----

在英文中，六個重要的字是：我承認我錯了！
在英文中，五個重要的字是：你做的很好。
在英文中，四個重要的字是：你的看法如何？
在英文中，三個重要的字是：麻煩你。
在英文中，兩個重要的字是：謝謝你。
在英文中，一個重要的字是：我們。
在英文中，最不重要的字是：我。

Important Words
The six most important words in the English language are:
“I admit I made a mistake.”
The five most important words in the English language are:
“You did a good job.”
The four most important words in the English language are:
“What is your opinion?”
The three most important words in the English language are:
“If you please.”
The two most important words in the English language are:
“Thank you.”
The one most important word in the English language is:
“We.”
The least important word in the English language is:
“I.”
-----

一位在婚姻上面臨挫折者向他的師傅請教。師傅說：你應該學習聼你太太所講的話。此人接受師傅的教導。一個月後他回來告訴師傅，他已經學會傾聽太太所講的每一句話。師傅笑笑地說：現在你回去注意聼她所沒說的每一句話。

When a man whose marriage was in trouble sought his advice, the Master said, “You must learn to listen to your wife.”

The man took his advice to heart and returned after a month to say that he had learned to listen to every word his wife was saying.

Said the Master with a smile, “Now go home and listen to every word she isn’t saying.” Anthony de Mello
-----

Charles Darwin was a chronic complainer who was happiest when he had something to gripe about.

One night, he and his wife were guests at a banquet at which everything went wrong. The speeches were dry; the champagne was hot; the food was inferior; the service even more so, and worst of all, the naturalist was given a seat in a draft, about which he had a phobia.

Throughout the meal, he grumbled and swore. Later, the sponsor of the affair came over to Mrs. Darwin and said apologetically: “I do hope your husband will forgive us. We wanted so much for him have a good time.’

“He had wonderful time,” she assured him. “He was able to find fault with everything.”
-----

有一位鞋店銷售員對顧客說：對不起，女士，你的腳太大了，容不下這雙鞋子。在相同的情況下，另一位銷售員卻對他的顧客說：對不起，女士，這雙鞋子太小了，容不下你的腳。這兩位銷售員用了幾乎相同的字句，然而，溝通的技巧使其中一位稍改字句，稍改重點，卻因而挽留了一位忠心滿意的顧客。

One shoe salesman said to his client, “I’m sorry, madam, but your foot is too large for this shoe।” The other salesman said to his client who was in a similar situation, “I’m sorry, madam, but this shoe is too small or your foot.” Each used almost the same words, but tact and diplomacy caused one to make a slightly different emphasis by a slight difference of phrasing, and secured a loyal and satisfied customer. (Oswald Sander, Leadership 105)
-----

有三個牧師一起參加一個聚會，幷且他們共同分享一個房間。第一個牧師說：“讓我們彼此坦誠我們隱藏的罪。就從我開始吧。我隱藏的罪是我就是喜歡賭博，每當我出城之後，我就喜歡那賭博機的聲音。”
第二個牧師坦白說：“我隱而未現的罪是我恨惡工作，你知道嗎？我所有的講章都是從別人那裏抄來的。”
第三個牧師接著說：“我隱藏的罪就是傳話，噢，太好了！現在我就忍不住沖到屋子外面去。”
-----

從前有一博士搭船過江，在船上和船夫閒談，他問船夫說，你懂得天文嗎？船夫答說不懂，博士又問，你懂得地理嗎？船夫答說也不懂。博士再問，那麼動物學，植物學？船夫仍然搖頭。博士說，你樣樣都不懂，真是個飯桶。不久天色大變，風浪大作，傳將翻覆，博士嚇得面如土色，船夫就問他說，你懂得游泳嗎？答說不會，船夫又問，你懂得游泳學嗎？答說樣樣都懂就是不懂得游泳。說著傳就翻了，博士大喚救命。船夫一把將他抓住，救他上岸，笑著對他說，你懂得我都不懂，你說我是飯桶，你樣樣都懂就是不懂游泳，要不是我，恐怕已經變成一個水桶。
-----

有這樣一古老的傳說：每一個人出世以後，都有兩個袋子在他的頸項，一個放在前面，裡面裝的是鄰人們的過失，而另一個袋子則放在背後，所裝的是自己的錯處。
因此，人們能很快的看清別人的過失，而對背後所揹自己的錯失，卻很難見到。
-----

曾有一個先生說了一件發生在他身上的個人糗事；他說：我懷疑我太太有耳聾的毛病，就決定考驗一下她的聽覺。

我輕手輕腳走到她身後的十米的地方。「太太！」我說：「你聽見我的聲音嗎？」
她沒有回答。於是我移前到太太身後六米的地方，「太太！」我重覆說：「你聽得見我的聲音嗎？」她依然沒有搭腔。

我又走前到離她三米的地方，問道：「太太！現在你能聽見我的聲音嗎？」，「聽見了！」她回答，「這是我第三次回答了！」
-----

丟格尼（Diogenes）是古希臘的偉大教師，他品德崇高，為人正直，只可惜性好批評，說話很刻薄。
他的一生大半住在雅典，但卻常喜歡批評雅典的墮落；歌頌斯巴達的質樸。當時雅典與斯巴達是古希臘兩個最著名的城邦，但是兩者截然不同。雅典崇尚民主自由，以航海經商為業，所以社會風氣浮華而驕奢；斯巴達則軍權專政，以農牧為業，民眾生活單純而樸實。
有一天他的朋友實在受不了了，就反駁他說：「你要是真的認為斯巴達那麼好，又這麼瞧不起雅典，那你為什麼不甘脆搬到斯巴達去呢？」丟格尼回答說：「無論我真正希望的是什麼，我的責任是留在最需要我的地方。」從前有一博士搭船過江，在船上和船夫閒談，他問船夫說，你懂得天文嗎？船夫答說不懂，博士又問，你懂得地理嗎？船夫答說也不懂。博士再問，那麼動物學，植物學？船夫仍然搖頭。博士說，你樣樣都不懂，真是個飯桶。不久天色大變，風浪大作，傳將翻覆，博士嚇得面如土色，船夫就問他說，你懂得游泳嗎？答說不會，船夫又問，你懂得游泳學嗎？答說樣樣都懂就是不懂得游泳。說著傳就翻了，博士大喚救命。船夫一把將他抓住，救他上岸，笑著對他說，你懂得我都不懂，你說我是飯桶，你樣樣都懂就是不懂游泳，要不是我，恐怕已經變成一個水桶。-----有這樣一古老的傳說：每一個人出世以後，都有兩個袋子在他的頸項，一個放在前面，裡面裝的是鄰人們的過失，而另一個袋子則放在背後，所裝的是自己的錯處。因此，人們能很快的看清別人的過失，而對背後所揹自己的錯失，卻很難見到。-----曾有一個先生說了一件發生在他身上的個人糗事；他說：我懷疑我太太有耳聾的毛病，就決定考驗一下她的聽覺。我輕手輕腳走到她身後的十米的地方。「太太！」我說：「你聽見我的聲音嗎？」她沒有回答。於是我移前到太太身後六米的地方，「太太！」我重覆說：「你聽得見我的聲音嗎？」她依然沒有搭腔。我又走前到離她三米的地方，問道：「太太！現在你能聽見我的聲音嗎？」，「聽見了！」她回答，「這是我第三次回答了！」
-----

丟格尼（Diogenes）是古希臘的偉大教師，他品德崇高，為人正直，只可惜性好批評，說話很刻薄。他的一生大半住在雅典，但卻常喜歡批評雅典的墮落；歌頌斯巴達的質樸。當時雅典與斯巴達是古希臘兩個最著名的城邦，但是兩者截然不同。雅典崇尚民主自由，以航海經商為業，所以社會風氣浮華而驕奢；斯巴達則軍權專政，以農牧為業，民眾生活單純而樸實。有一天他的朋友實在受不了了，就反駁他說：「你要是真的認為斯巴達那麼好，又這麼瞧不起雅典，那你為什麼不甘脆搬到斯巴達去呢？」丟格尼回答說：「無論我真正希望的是什麼，我的責任是留在最需要我的地方。」
-----

經歷了一個長而無趣的説教之後，教區會衆們走出教堂說講道者空洞無物。
在接近行列的結尾処是一位有思想的人，他總是稱讚說有的説教。
「牧師，今天你的説教讓我想起上帝的平安和愛。」
牧師激動得發抖：「在這之前，對我的講道，從沒有一個人說的象這樣。告訴我為什麼。」
「嗯，它讓我想起上帝的平安，是因爲它超越了所有的理解；它讓我想起上帝的愛，是因爲它持續到永遠。」

After a very long and boring sermon the parishioners filed out of the church saying nothing to the preacher. Towards the end of the line was a thoughtful person who always commented on the sermons.
“Pastor, today your sermon reminded me of the peace and love of God!” The pastor was thrilled. “No-one has ever said anything like that about my preaching before. Tell me why.” “Well - it reminded me of the Peace of God because it passed all understanding and the Love of God because it endured forever!”
-----

一位主日學老師交給學生們下一週的功課。她說：「下星期我們要談談撒謊，為了準備這堂課，我要大家回去讀馬可福音17章。」

下星期上課的一開始，老師說：「那些為了這堂課讀了馬可福音17章的人，請走到前面來。」班上有一半的學生站起來走到前面去。「其他人可以離開，」老師說道：「這些前來的學生是我要教的，馬可福音沒有17章。」
-----

一個很擔心的丈夫去向醫生講述關於他妻子的事，他說：「醫生，我想我妻子是耳聾，因為她不曾在第一囘叫她時就聽見，我經常需要重述事件。」
醫生回答說：「不如這樣，您回家，今晚站在離她15尺的地方向她說一些話。如果她沒有回應，您就走近5尺，然後再説一次。您就持續這樣做，如此我們就能對她耳聾的嚴重程度有一些了解。
如此肯定后，丈夫便回家並遵照所指示的做。他先從與他正在廚房裏切菜的妻子站離15尺開始，便說：「甜心，晚餐吃什麽？「他沒有聽到回答。於是，他走近五尺，然後再問。沒有回應。他再走近五尺。還是沒有回應。他感到不耐煩地走到妻子身後，差不多有一寸的距離，再問：「甜心，晚餐吃什麽？」
她回答說：「這已經是第四次告訴您是菜羹！」

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says, “Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and I’m always repeating things.”
“Well,” the doctor replied, “go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say something to her. If she doesn’t reply move about 5 feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so that we’ll get an idea about the severity of her deafness”.
Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she is chopping some vegetables and says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” He hears no response. He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves 5 feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
She replies, “For the fourth time, vegetable stew!”
-----

在網路上有一篇名為＜說話的藝術＞的文章：
少說抱怨的話，多說寬容的話；
抱怨帶來記恨，寬容乃是智者。
少說諷刺的話，多說尊重的話；
諷刺顯得輕視，尊重增加了解。
少說拒絕的話，多說關懷的話；
拒絕形成對立，關懷獲得友誼。
少說命令的話，多說商量的話；
命令只是接受，商量才是領導。
少說批評的話，多說鼓勵的話；
批評產生阻力，鼓勵發揮力量。
-----

Quotes引證 :
He who tells a lie is not sensible how great a task he undertakes, for he must be forced to invent twenty more to maintain one. Pope.

Sin has many tools but a lie is the handle that fits them all. O.W. Holmes.

Dean Jones of Yale is credited with this definition of freedom of speech: “The liberty to say what you think without thinking what you say.”

Melodious is the closed mouth. Irish

I am sick of opinions. Give me a humble, gentle lover of God and man – a man full or mercy and good fruits, without partiality or hypocrisy. Bigotry is too strong an attachment to our own creed of opinion. How unwilling men are to allow anything good in those who do not agree with them in all things. We must not narrow the cause of God to our own beliefs, but rejoice in goodness wherever it appears. John Wesley

The two words information and communication are often used interchangeably, but they signify quite different things. Information is giving out; communication is getting through. Sydney J. Harris

There’s no sense in doing a lot of barking if you don’t really have much to say. Snoopy

Your temper is uneven; you lack love for your neighbors. You grow angry too easily; your tongue is too sharp- thus, the people will not hear you. John Wesley

Praise makes good men better, and bad men worse. Thomas Fuller.

There’s not a single new thought in Purpose-Driven Life that hasn’t been said in historic Christianity or Judaism. I’m just a communicator for the 21st century. Rick Warren

If your words are soft and sweet, they won’t be as hard to swallow if you have to eat them.

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. Abraham Lincoln

Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument is an exchange of ignorance. Robert Quillen

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do.
Dale Carnegie

My preaching almost always displeases me. Augustine

You are entitled to your own opinion. You are not entitled to your own facts.

If you can walk, you can dance. If you can talk, you can sing. Zimbabwe proverb.

I tell my students to accept 51% of the responsibility of the outcome of the communication. Andrew D. Wolvin, University of Maryland

Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself can spare time for personal contention. Still less can he afford to take all the consequences, including the vitiating of his temper and loss of self control. Yield larger things to which you can show no more than equal right; and yield lesser ones, though clearly your own. Better give your path to a dog than be bitten by him in contesting for the right. Even killing the dog would not cure the bite. Abraham Lincoln

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. Mark Twain

It takes two years to learn to talk and seventy years to learn how to control your mouth.

I can live for two months on one good compliment. Mark Twain.

The reality is, if we tell the truth, we only have to tell the truth once. If you lie, you have to keep lying forever. Rabbi Wayne Dosick

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. Benjamin Franklin

Tart words make no friends; a spoonful or honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. Benjamin Franklin

Nobody ever got into trouble by keepin’ his mouth shut. The Wit and Wisdom of Forrest Gump

The hardest thing to keep to yourself is an opinion.

Every man needs a blind eye and a deaf ear, so when people applaud, you’ll only hear half of it, and when people salute, you’ll only see part of it. Believe only half the praise and half the criticism. Charles H. Spurgeon

Criticism is something you can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing. Aristotle

Animals have long tongues but can’t speak; men have short tongues and shouldn’t speak.

Half an answer also says something.

Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. Plato

A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject. Winston Churchill

If one man calls you a donkey, pay him no mind. If two men call you a donkey, get a saddle.

**********************************************************

CONDUCT 行為
有個鄉下牧師曾經說：「福音有兩部分。第一部分是相信它 (believing it)，第二部分是實行它 (behaving it)。」

An old country preacher used to say: “There are two parts to the Gospel. The first part is believing it, and the second part is behaving it.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 225)
-----

A soldier being dealt with by a Christian worker put it very well when he said, “I see it now! God does not expect me to live His life without first giving me His nature.”
(from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 227)
-----

It happened in the court-room during the trial of a husky young man who was charged with assault and battery. Throughout an especially severe cross-examination the defendant stoutly maintained that he had merely pushed the plaintiff “a little bit.”

“Well, about how hard?” queried the prosecutor.

“Oh, just a little bit,” responded the defendant.

“Now,” said the attorney, “for the benefit of the judge and the jury, you will please step down here and, with me for the subject, illustrate just how hard you mean.”

Owing to the unmerciful badgering which the witness had just been through, the prosecutor thought that the young man would perhaps overdo the matter to get back at him, and thus incriminate himself.

The defendant descended as per schedule, and approached the waiting attorney. When he reached him the spectators were astonished to see him slap the lawyer in the face, kick him in the shins, seize him bodily, and, finally, with a supreme effort, lift him from the floor and hurl him prostrate across a table.

Turning from the bewildered prosecutor, he faced the court and explained mildly:

“Your honor and gentlemen, about one-tenth that hard!”
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
-----

一個婦女向市政府官員請求釋放她的丈夫出獄。
「他為何入獄？」這官員問。
「因爲他偷了一個火腿」，她回答說。
「那聼起來並不算什麽。他是一個好的員工嗎？」
「不，我不想那麽說。他其實很懶。」
「嗯…他一定對你和孩子們很好，對嗎？」
「不，他不是這樣。說實話，他對我們很吝嗇。」
「那你爲什麽請求要這樣一個人出獄呢！？」官員難以置信地問。
「官員，我們已經有一段時間沒有吃火腿了。」

A woman appealed to the state Governor about getting her husband out of the penitentiary.
“What is he in for?” asked the Governor.
“For stealing a ham,” she replied.
“That doesn’t sound too bad. Is he a good worker?”
“No, I wouldn’t say that. He’s pretty lazy.”
“Oh... well, he’s good to you and the children, isn’t he?”
“No, he’s not. Truth be told, he’s pretty mean to us.”
“Why would you want a man like that out of prison?!?” the governor asked in disbelief.
“Well, Governor, we’ve been out of ham quite a spell...”
-----

最低限度可以作一個壞人榜樣.

“Everybody in the world is good for something. At least they can be a bad example.” Cavett Robert
-----

童話裹有一個故事說:古時代在一大山上有一隻老虎，牠很喜歡喫人肉。天使告訴牠: 「你以後絕對不可喫人肉，若再喫，我馬上打死你。」虎答: 「好！」以後牠只咬死小動物來滿足肚子。過三年，天使再來時，老虎請求天使說「我三年之久沒喫過人肉，現在非常愛喫人肉，讓我喫吧！」天使說「好，但是基督徒你絕對不可喫。」虎回答說「好」後來虎很歡喜下了山，跑到一個禮拜堂前，看見一個人帶聖經，吟詩很快樂的樣子。老虎上前聞那個人，全身都沒有基督徒氣味，只有嘴有一點基督徒的氣味，所以留下嘴、全身的肉都喫掉了。天使又降臨來了，責備老虎怎樣喫那個人?老虎說「這個人只有嘴有基督徒的氣味，所以我留著嘴，其他的都份都喫掉了。」（楊信德，《新約聖經一般故事講道集》）
-----

有一位神學院的院長問學生說：「你今天都做了些什麼事呀？」
學生回答說：「我每天都忙死了，一直都在工作。我得管理兩隻鷲、兩隻豬’兩隻馬、一隻鹿，踩一條蛇、鬥一隻熊，另外還得照顧一個病人。」

神學院院長愈聽眼睛愈大。「我們院裡什麼時候成為動物園了？我怎麼都不知道呢？」院長回答。
那學生說：「兩隻鷲就是我兩隻情慾的眼睛，我常愛看那些不該看的東西，所以得好好的管理它。兩隻豬就是我愛偷懶的兩隻手，它們不喜歡做事，我得好好的鞭策它，好使它殷勤做工，多結果子。兩隻馬就是我的兩條腿，它們喜歡像野馬一樣亂跑，我得馴服它，才不會讓它走上邪惡的道路，要在真理的道上站穩腳步才行。一隻鹿就是我

不安定的心，它常像小鹿一樣亂竄，焦燥不安，我得好好的管束它，才不會使我的心迷失了。一條蛇就是我那喜歡道人是非的舌頭，我得勒住它，不要讓它信口雌黃才行。另一隻熊就是我那貪婪的惡念，我得克制它，好使它不會危害人群。至於那個病人，就是我整個肉體，我得讓它吃好的靈糧，讀神的話語，這樣我才能日益茁壯，真正長大成熟，滿有主基督的樣式。」
-----

曾有一位宣教士在傳福音時說到：「我曾旅行到一個地方，那裏有兩條分岔的路，當我在找路標時，發現了兩個人，一個已經死了，一個還活著，我該向那個人問路呢？是死的還是活的？」有人回答﹕「是活的。」宣教士繼續說﹔「那麼你們為何要跟隨那些已死的所謂聖人和宗教領袖，而不跟隨活著的基督呢？」
-----

福特於1893年發明汽車，1903年開始設廠大量生產，給人類帶來不少方便，但同時也造成許多車禍及人命的損傷。為了防止車禍的發生，福特汽車公司懸賞向全國徵求防止車禍發生的圖案及標語。結果入選的作品為大家耳熟能詳的「停、看、聽」，亦即車子開到十字路口或平交道時，必須先把車子停下來，再左右觀察看看，並傾聽一下有否來車。獲選者因而獲得一大筆獎金。可惜在幾年後，那位獲獎者開車到平交道時，因為沒有遵守自己所提出的標語，遂與火車相撞而車毀人亡。這樣的結果，好比『實行一兩，勝過一頓』，值得省思！
-----

Quotes引證 :
Good etiquette’s three simple phrases: “Please,” “Thank you,” and “May I.”

The beauty of the house is order; the blessing of the house is contentment; the glory of the house is hospitality; the crown of the house is godliness. (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)

Home The place where we are treated best and grumble most. (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)

It is not the quantity of the meat but the cheerfulness of the guests which makes the feast. Clarendon

**********************************************************

CONTENTMENT 知足
D. L. Moody told of two merchants between whom there was great rivalry and bitter feeling. One of them was converted. He went to his minister and said, “I’m still jealous of that man, and I don’t know how to overcome it.” “Well,” said the minister, “if a man comes into your store to buy goods, and you cannot supply him, just send him over to your neighbor.” He said he wouldn’t like to do that. “Well,” said the minister, “you do it and you will kill jealousy.” Sure enough, when he began sending customers over to his rival for goods he himself could not supply, the rival began to send customers over to this man’s store, and the breach was healed. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 408)
-----

Those who study bees tell us when a honeybee drives its barbed stinger into flesh, it becomes so firmly imbedded that the only way the bee can escape is to leave the stinger behind. This, however, is sure to cause the death of the bee. It receives such a wound that it cannot possibly recover. So it is with us. Sometimes we sting others because they are a little better than we are. Being jealous of them, we not only leave the sting in those who happen to disagree with us, but the act brings about spiritual harm to ourselves. If our zeal embitters others, it will multiply bitterness within our own hearts. Thus, when others feel the bitterness of our zeal, they will surely come to the conclusion that we do not possess Jesus Christ who descended from heaven to give us new life. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 409)
-----

Dr. F. B. Meyer told the following experience to a few personal friends: “It was easy,” he said, “to pray for the success of Campbell Morgan when he was in America, but when he came back to England and took a church near to mine, it was somewhat different. The old Adam in me was inclined to jealousy, but I got my heel upon his head, and whether I felt right toward my friend or not, I determined to act right. “My church gave a reception for him, and I acknowledged if it was not necessary for me to preach Sunday evenings, I would dearly love to go and hear him myself. Well, that made me feel right toward him. Just see how the dear Lord helped me out of my difficulty. There was Charles Spurgeon preaching wonderfully on the other side of me. He and Mr. Morgan were so popular and drew such crowds that our church caught the overflow, and we had all we could accommodate.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 410)
-----

Many Christians are like that person who, one day, looked extremely sad. One who knew him well said, “Either some great evil has happened to him, or some great good to another.” It has been very aptly said, “The man who keeps busy helping the man below him will not have time to envy the man above him; and there may not be anyone above him.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 216)
-----

A story is told of a watch which became dissatisfied with its little sphere in a lady's pocket. It envied Big Ben, the great tower clock in London. One day, as it passed over Westminster Bridge with its mistress, the little watch was heard to say, “I wish I could be up there. I could then serve the multitude.”

"You shall have your opportunity, little watch,” said a voice. Magically the watch was drawn up to the tower by a slender thread. When it reached the top, its mistress said to it, “Where are you, little watch? I cannot see you.” Nor could anybody else. Its elevation became its annihilation. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 217)
-----

A little snail that lived by the ocean noticed with envy the big, beautiful shell in which the lobster lived. “What a grand palace the lobster carries on his back! I wish I lived in his place,” whined the little snail. “Oh, wouldn't my friends admire me in that shell!”

In time a wonderful thing occurred. The watching, envious snail beheld the lobster walk right out of his shell to grow up in another, larger one. When the empty lobster shell lay neglected on the beach the snail said, “Now I shall have my wish.” And he boasted to all his friends that he was going to take up residence in a grand palace.

The birds and the animals then watched the snail pull himself loose from his own little shell and proudly crawl into the towering lobster shell. He huffed, puffed, blew, and gasped in an effort to make himself fit. But with all his efforts he felt very small inside the grand lobster shell. He grew tired, too. That night he died because the large, empty shell was so cold.

A wise old crow then said to the younger crows, “You see! That's what comes of envy. What you have is enough. Be yourself and save yourself from a lot of trouble. How much better to be a little snail in a comfortable shell than to be a little snail in a big shell and freeze to death!” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 218)
-----

The Boy And The Nuts One good, practical reason for controlling our cravings is that if we grasp for too much, we may end up getting nothing at all. A little boy once found a jar of nuts on the table. ‘I would like some of these nuts,” he thought. “I’m sure Mother would give them to me if she were here. I’ll take a big handful.” so he reached into the jar and grabbed as many as he could hold. But when he tried to pull his hand out, he found that the neck of the jar was too small. his hand was held fast, but he did not want to drop any of the nuts. He tried again and again, but he couldn’t get the whole handful out. At last he began to cry. Just then his mother came into the room. “What’s the matter?” she asked. I can’t take this handful of nuts out of the jar,” sobbed the boy. “Well, don’t be greedy,” his mother replied. “Just take two or three, and you’ll have no trouble getting your hand out.” “How easy that was,” said the boy as he left the table. “I should have thought of that myself.” Aesop
-----

Once upon a time there was a stone cutter. The stone cutter lived in a land where a life of privilege meant being powerful. Looking at his life he decided that he was unsatisfied with the way things were and so he set out to become the most powerful thing in the land. Looking around his land he wondered to himself what is it to be powerful. Looking up he saw the Sun shining down on all the land. “The Sun must be the most powerful thing that there is, for it shines down on all things, and all things grow from its touch.” So he became the Sun. Days later, as he shone his power down on the inhabitants of the land, there came a cloud which passed beneath him obstructing his brilliance. Frustrated he realized that the Sun was not the most powerful thing in the land, if a simple cloud could interrupt his greatness. So he became a cloud, in fact, he became the most powerful storm that the world had ever seen. And so he blew his rain and lightning, and resounded with thunder all over the land, demonstrating that he was the most powerful. Until one day he came across a boulder. Down and down he poured and his thunder roared, lightning flashed and filled the sky, striking the ground near the boulder. His winds blew and blew and blew, and yet, despite all his efforts, he could not budge the boulder. Frustrated again, he realized that the storm was not the most powerful thing in the land, rather it must be the boulder. So he became the boulder. For days he sat, unmovable, and impassive, demonstrating his power, until one day, a stone cutter came and chiseled him to bits.
-----

A young man was traveling in a far country. It was getting late in the day, and he knew that he needed to stop to rest. However, he was thirsty and needed to find water before he slept. He met a white haired old man sitting on a rock by the side of the road. The young man asked him if he knew of a place where he could find water to drink. The old man said that if the young man stayed on the path he would come to a small stream. However, it would be after dark before he would reach the stream. The old man told the traveler that he could safely drink there. The old man further said that if he would pick up a handful of pebbles from the stream bed, the young man would be both glad and sad. The young man thanked the old man and continued on his journey. Sure enough, even though it was quite dark, the young traveler found the stream. He took a drink. The young man thought it silly to pick up pebbles, but just for curiosity he picked up a handful and put them in his pocket. He then found a place to sleep a short distance away from the stream. When he woke up, the young man remembered the pebbles. He shoved his hand into his pocket and brought them out. As he looked at them in amazement, the young man simultaneously felt great sorrow and great happiness for there in his hand lay beautiful, sparkling jewels. Quickly he rushed back to the stream to get more. He frantically searched through many hands full of ordinary pebbles, but the opportunity was gone. As he looked at the beautiful jewels, the young traveler felt so sad that he did not pick up many more. At the same time he was happy that he had at least picked up those that he had.
-----

聽說年老的桂格刊登一則廣告，他想要把四十英畝富饒的土地給想得到完全知足的人。有一個尋覓者來見桂格，桂格問：「你對所擁有的感到完全知足嗎？」充滿期待的客人回說：「是的！」老桂格意味深長的說：「那為什麼你還想要這塊土地呢？」

We’ve heard of an old Quaker who advertised that he would give 40 acres of rich farm land to anyone who was perfectly satisfied with that which he had. One seeker came to see the Quaker.
“Are thee perfectly satisfied with what thee hast?”
“Yes,” answered the hopeful guest.
“Then why dost thee want this land?” was the old Quaker’s significant reply.
—Gospel Herald
-----

有人問希臘哲學家克利安第說「誰更富？」，他回答說「知足的人」，辛尼加常說「最大的財富，是在於無慾。改善我們物質狀況最好的方法，莫過於無需要。我們愈限制我們的需求，我們就愈自由。」
-----

Quotes引證 :
Contentment is merely the knack of not wanting the things we know we can’t have.
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. Fuller.

To be content with what we possess is the greatest and most secure of riches. Cicero.

When you can think of yesterday without regret and tomorrow without fear, you are near contentment. Unknown.

**********************************************************

COURAGE 勇氣
A young soldier who was showing signs of panic on the eve of his first battle was chaffed by a veteran. “Why, sonny,” he said, “you’re shaking with fear. Don’t be such a coward.” “I’m not a coward,” hotly retorted the youth. “If you felt half as scared as I do, you’d run away!” He was right. That young man was not a coward because he felt fear, but he would have been a coward if he had allowed it to master him and drive him from his post of duty. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 711)
-----

One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant. Before long it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to fire departments from miles around. After fighting the fire for over an hour, the chemical company president approached the fire chief and said, “All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved! I will give 50,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!”

As soon as the chief heard this, he ordered the firemen to strengthen their attack on the blaze. After two more hours of attacking the fire, president of the company offered $100,000 to the engine company that could bring out the company’s secret files. From the distance a long siren was heard and another fire truck came into sight. It was a local volunteer fire company composed entirely of men over 65. To everyone’s amazement the little fire engine raced through the chemical plant gates and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. In the distance the other firemen watched as the old timers hopped off of their rig and began to fight the fire with an effort that they had never seen before.

After an hour of intense fighting the volunteer company had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas. Joyous the chemical company president announced that he would double the reward to $200,000 and walked over to personally thank each of the volunteers.

After thanking each of the old men individually the president asked the group what they intended to do with the reward money. The fire truck driver looked him right in the eye and said, “The first thing we’re going to do is fix the brakes on that truck!”
-----

古印度的寓言中有一個關於老鼠的故事，話說這隻老鼠和其他的老鼠一樣，很怕貓。
有一個神仙很同情牠，願意提供幫助，解除牠恐懼，在這隻老鼠的同意下，神仙將牠變成一隻貓。然而這隻貓又怕狗，因此神仙又將牠變成一隻狗。可是這隻狗又怕老虎，這樣神仙就再使牠變成一隻老虎，當這神仙發現這隻老虎又怕獵人時，牠就很厭惡的叫了起來：「你真的是毫無希望，你所需要的是改變你的心！在這一點事實上，我可幫不了你！」
-----

Quotes引證 :
Courage consists not in blindly overlooking danger, but in seeing it and conquering it. Richter.

Few persons have courage enough to appear as good as they really are. Hare.

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Death 死亡，Decisions 決定，Diligence 殷勤，Discipline 紀律

2007-11-18T23:57:00.003-08:00

DEATH 死亡
When Robert Owen, the notorious freethinker, visited Alexander Campbell to arrange the preliminaries for the great debate that was to follow, they walked about the farm till they came to the family burying ground. “There is one advantage I have over the Christian,” boasted Mr. Owen. “I am not afraid to die. Most Christians have fear in death, but, if some few items of my business were settled, I should be perfectly willing to die at any moment.” “Well,” replied Mr. Campbell, “you say you have no fear in death; have you any hope in death?” “No,” said Mr. Owen after a thoughtful pause. “Then,” said Mr. Campbell, pointing to an ox standing nearby, “you are on a level with that animal. He has eaten till he is satisfied, stands in the shade whisking off the flies, and has neither hope nor fear in death.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 854)
-----

Advances Elusive in the Drive to Cure Cancer
Published: April 23, 2009

In 1971, flush with the nation’s success in putting a man on the Moon, President Richard M. Nixon announced a new goal. Cancer would be cured by 1976, the bicentennial.

When 1976 came and went, the date for a cure, or at least substantial progress, kept being put off. It was going to happen by 2000, then by 2015.

Cancer has always been an expensive priority. Since the war on cancer began, the National Cancer Institute, the federal government’s main cancer research entity, with 4,000 employees, has alone spent $105 billion. And other government agencies, universities, drug companies and philanthropies have chipped in uncounted billions more.

Yet the death rate for cancer, adjusted for the size and age of the population, dropped only 5 percent from 1950 to 2005. In contrast, the death rate for heart disease dropped 64 percent in that time, and for flu and pneumonia, it fell 58 percent.

But difficulties arise when cancer spreads, and, often, it has by the time of diagnosis. That is true for the most common cancers as well as rarer ones.

With breast cancer, for example, only 20 percent with metastatic disease — cancer that has spread outside the breast, like to bones, brain, lungs or liver — live five years or more, barely changed since the war on cancer began.

With colorectal cancer, only 10 percent with metastatic disease survive five years. That number, too, has hardly changed over the past four decades. The number has long been about 30 percent for metastatic prostate cancer, and in the single digits for lung cancer.

A recent New York Times/CBS News poll found the public divided about progress. Older people, more likely to have friends or relatives who had died of cancer, were more dubious — just 26 percent said a lot of progress had been made. The figure was 40 percent for middle-aged people, who may be more likely to know people who, with increased screening, had received a cancer diagnosis and seemed fine.

Full text: Advances Elusive in the Drive to Cure Cancer
-----

你想一個人需要多少生命的保險金？「足夠讓他的家人生活得以供應，但不至于太多到叫他們過於高興，以致忘了悲傷。

“How much life insurance do you think a man ought to carry?”

“Enough to keep his family from want, but not so much as to make them utterly impervious to grief.” (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
-----

那是一個瀕死的鏡頭，但導演不滿意演員英X的演出。「拜托」導演大喊「多放些精力在你快死的邊緣上」

It was a death-bed scene, but the director was not satisfied with the hero’s acting.

“Come on!” he cried. “Put more life in your dying!”
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
-----

有一位老財主因為急性心臟病而逝世，當他來到耶穌前時就大發牢騷，埋怨說：「全能的主阿！今天你叫我回來，我一點也不埋怨你，我甘心順服；但有一件事，我無法諒解，為什麼叫我回來以前，不先給我一個通知？叫我好有心理準備，對後代也可以有個交待阿！」主溫柔回答他說：「我曾寫了三封信給你，提醒你預備好回天家阿！」財主很驚訝的回答說：「主，沒有阿！我絕對沒收到。」主說：「你注意聽，第一封信是我讓你腰酸背病；第二封信是你的頭髮開始斑白；第三封信是你的牙齒逐漸脫落。這些都是提醒你快回天家的信號阿！怎麼說我沒有通知你呢？」
-----

偉大的查理王︵Charlemagne，七匹二｜八一四︶統治大部份的歐洲，他吩咐部下當他死的時候，不要按照傳統，並要求他們為他穿戴王服，坐在王座去埋葬，他的部下照辦了，並在他的膝上放一本聖經，而他的指頭指在馬太福音十六章廿六節：一個人就是贏得了全世界，卻賠上自己的生命，有什麼益處呢？﹂他當然不能夠用世界上任何事物來換取自己的生命。
-----

Quotes引證 :
讓我們活得多彩多姿，好讓我們臨終時，照顧我們的人都覺得遺憾。（馬可吐溫）
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the caretaker will be sorry. Mark Twain

當你沒有錢的時候，你為食物煩惱；當你有錢的時候，你為性而煩惱；當你兩者都有的時候，你為健康煩惱。如果什麼都很好的時候，那麼你只怕死。 (J. P. Donleavy)
When you don’t have any money, the problem is food. When you have money, it’s sex. When you have both, it’s health. If everything is simply jake, then you’re frightened of death. J. P. Donleavy

**********************************************************

DECISIONS 決定
有個人他有四個兒子，他要他的孩子們學習，不可太快下結論。所以他就要求他的孩子們去遠方尋找一棵梨子樹。第一個兒子，出發時是冬天，第二個兒子去時是春天，第三個兒子去時是夏天，小兒子去時是秋天。當他們去了又回來後，他召集他們來形容他們所見到的。

第一個兒子說那是棵很醜，彎曲並扭轉的枝條。第二個兒子說：「哦，不是的，那是棵長滿綠苞蕾，充滿希望的梨子樹。第三個兒子回答」不對，那是棵開滿漂亮花朵，聞起來滿有香味，那是他所看過最美麗優雅的樹。小兒子不同意所有的說法。他說那棵是果子過熟的樹。之後，父親告訴他們每一個兒子所見的都是對的。每個人所見的是不同季節梨子樹所出現的樣式。所以在人生中，不要錯過每一個片段。不要只在一個時期，判斷一棵樹，一個人，人生的喜怒哀樂，只有蓋棺定論，即如你若在冬天放棄了盼望，你就看不到春天的新希望，夏天的美麗及秋天的豐收。

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away. The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall. When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and the man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree’s life, drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment. He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up. If you give up when it’s winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfilment of your fall.
-----

「我從不會忘記當我第一次在醫院工作時的經驗。」舊金山中心緊急醫院主治外科醫生Millar如此說。「當時有個還是大學生的實習護士在隔離病房工作。那是一個有暴力的事件，一個病人正處在最糟糕好似醉酒妄想的狀態中，我在半夜被護士長叫醒，要我立刻趕到病房，當我去到那病房時，病人正在發瘋，而且有暴力傾向，而那新護士是嚇壞了，我趕快問護士，」為什么會到如此情況呢？我不是告訴你當病人有幻想癥兆時，趕緊給他吃藥，「是的醫生」那護士如此說，「但你是說當他看到蛇時，才給他吃藥，而他卻是看到藍色的狗帶著粉紅色的尾巴。」

“I will never forget my first experience in hospital work,” said Chief Surgeon Millar of the Central Emergency Hospital in San Francisco. “There was an undergraduate nurse in the detention ward, and we had a very violent case—a man in the worst stage of delirium tremens. I was awakened in the middle of the night by the head nurse who requested me to come at once to the patient. When I got there I found him raving and very violent, with the new nurse scared out of her wits.” Then the doctor said, “Why did you let him go so far? I left you some medicine to give him as soon as he got delirious.” “Yes, doctor,” the nurse replied, “but you told me to give that to him if he saw any more snakes, but this time he was seeing blue dogs with pink tails.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 874)
-----

有個人有一小塊的土地，他找個土地代理人要他作廣告賣地。當廣告做好了，土地代理人念給他聽，「再念一遍」，土地代理人又念一遍，「我想我是不會賣掉這塊地，因為這土地你所形容的，正是我長久以來所尋找的。」

A man who owned a small estate sent for an agent and asked him to write an advertisement offering it for sale. When the advertisement was ready, the agent read it to him. “Read that again,” said the owner. The agent read it once more. “I don’t think I will sell after all,” said the man. “I have been looking for an estate like that all my life and did not know that I owned it.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 876)
-----

一位年輕律師在撰寫一份合約，他很滿意的帶給一位年長並有智慧的參謀者檢驗。他很驚訝參謀者慢慢的唸，並且搖頭的說「這是一份很好的合約，john，寫得太棒了」，年長參謀檢驗者把合約交回年輕律師的當時說「John，你忘記對方了，一份好的合約一定要包含與對方相等的權利。「我們不會是公正的，如果我們只想到自己的好處，卻忽略對方的益處。」

A young lawyer negotiated a contract of which he was rather proud and took it to an old and wise counselor for his examination. To his surprise the old man, as he read it slowly, shook his head. “That is a great contract, John. It is most skillfully drawn,” he remarked as he handed it back. “But, John, you have forgotten the other fellow. No contract is sound which neglects the rights or the equities of any party to it.” We are not righteous if we think only of our own rights and neglect the rights of others. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 701)
-----

倆位牧者在討論何為信心的議題，那是很火熱的辯論，「那是很好的」一位牧者鎮定的說道「我們都同意不同意的論調，是在成全神的工作---- 你是走你的道路，而我是走神的道路。」

Two ministers, given to arguing about their respective faiths, were in a very heated discussion. “That’s all right,” said one calmly. “We’ll just agree to disagree. After all, we’re both doing the Lord’s work— you in your way and I in His.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 521)
-----

北宣因為搬到康澤大廈的事開過多次會議，其中一次僅僅為了討論講台應該如何設計，就開會至凌晨一時三刻，足足九個小時！講台應該有多高、多長、多寬，什麼裝，講台與會眾座位之間的距離，鉅細無遺！蕭壽華 (滕近輝，都是恩典，236頁)
-----

你不會懷疑少數服從多數的智慧吧？「哦」參議員Sorghum在深思熟慮後如此反應」什么是多數，在許多的例子中就是大多數的人已煩得不想再麻煩自己去思考，因而去接受他人的意見」。

“You don’t mean to tell me you ever doubt the wisdom of the majority?”

“Well,” responded Senator Sorghum with deliberation, “what is a majority? In many instances it is only a large number of people who have got tired out trying to think for themselves and have decided to accept somebody else’s opinion.”
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
-----

有一天，警察攔下了一位衝過「四方停止」的指示牌的摩托騎士，剛要開罰單給他時，他開口了，
摩托騎士：「警察先生，你不能開罰單，因為我雖然沒有停下但我慢下來了，兩個是差不多的意思」
警察回答說：「你沒有停下來啊！」
摩托騎士回答：「路上車輛不多，很安全啊！」警察此時拿起警棍打那騎士，
他很驚訝的叫起來：「你在幹甚麼？」
警察回答說：「你要我慢下來還是停下來呢？」

One day a policeman stopped a motorist who had just gone through a four way stop sign and was about to give him a ticket when the motorist said. “Officer you can't give me a ticket for that!' “Why not” said the officer. “Because although I did not stop I slowed right down and its almost the same.” “But you did not stop” replied the officer, “and the sign says "STOP." “But the way was clear and it was safe” replied the motorist. The officer then pulls out his baton and starts hitting the motorist. “What are you doing!” yells the motorist in surprise. “Do you want me to slow down or stop” says the officer.
-----

有一個魚商放了一個招牌，上面寫著：「新鮮的魚在此賣掉」(“Fresh fish sold here.”)。有一個顧客很訝異地進前來問：「為什麼你在招版上寫『新鮮』兩個字？大家都知道你的魚是新鮮的，或者你的魚有腥味嗎？」「當然不會！」魚商十分同意便趕快把「新鮮」兩字給塗掉。過了不久，又來了另一個顧客說：「為什麼你要在招牌上寫『在此』兩個字？難道你還會在其他地方賣你的魚嗎？」「你說得有道理！」魚商十分同意便趕快把「在此」兩字給塗掉。後來又有一個顧客抱怨：「『賣掉』什麼叫『賣掉』？你一定不致於把所有的魚賣到一條不剩吧！」「當然不致於！」魚商十分同意便趕快把「賣掉」兩字給塗掉。最後，一個老婦人蹣跚地走來看到這招牌的時候，用低沈沙啞的聲音說：「『魚』？你根本不必做什麼廣告，相信我，大老遠就可以聞到這些魚的味道。」魚商就把招牌給舉起來，拿起刷子把『魚』字也給塗掉了。

A fish dealer put on a sign reading: “Fresh fish sold here.” A customer came in and asked in surprise, “Why did you put the word “fresh” on your sign? It’s understood your fish are fresh - or do they stink?” “Of course not!” agreed the fish dealer, and hurriedly paint out the word “fresh.” A little while later another customer came in and commented, “Why do you need the word ‘here’ on your sign? Where else could you be selling your fish?” “You’re right!” agreed the fish dealer, and he painted out the word “here.” Later, another customer complained, “Sold! What do you mean, ‘sold’? Surely you’re not giving away any of your fish!” “Indeed not!” agreed the fish dealer, and he painted out the word “sold.” Finally, an old lady hobbled in. She saw the sign, and croaked in a thin voice, “Fish?” You don’t need to advertise your fish! Believe me, you can smell them a mile away.” The fish dealer heaved a deep sigh, picked up his brush and painted out the word “fish.”
-----

A wealthy eccentric died and left a million dollars to his nephew, John. When the will was read at the lawyer’s office, the lawyer said to John, “According to your uncle’s instructions, payment of your inheritance will depend on choices that you must make.” The lawyer held his two fists out in front of him and asked, “Do you choose what is in my right hand or in my left hand?”

John decided to take what was in the attorney’s right hand. The lawyer opened his left hand to reveal a gold coin and a silver coin. “Had you chosen this hand,” he said, “you would have received a substantial share in a gold mine or a silver mine in Chile.” Then he opened his right hand to reveal a nut and a coffee bean. “These represent a million dollars’ worth of nuts or coffee from Brazil,” said the attorney. “Which do you choose?” John decided on the nuts.
A week went by before John arrived in Brazil to take charge of his holdings. In the interim, fire destroyed a huge warehouse where the nuts that John had inherited were stored and coffee prices doubled. Since John hadn’t gotten around to insuring his holdings, he soon was bankrupt.
He barely had enough for his airfare home to New York or Los Angeles, where he could stay with a friend. He chose Los Angeles.
Just before he took off, the New York plane came out on the runway—it was a brand-new super jet. For the connecting flight to Los Angeles, the plane was a 1928 Ford trimotor with a sway back that took half a day to get off the ground. It was filled with crying children and tethered goats. Over the Andes one engine fell off. Our man crawled up to the cockpit and said, “Let me out if you want to save your lives. Give me a parachute.”
The pilot agreed but said, “On this airline, anybody who bails out must wear two chutes.”
John jumped from the plane and as he fell he tried to make up his mind which rip cord to pull. Finally he chose the one on the left. It was rusty, and the wire pulled loose. He pulled the other handle. The chute opened, but its shroud lines snapped. In desperation the poor fellow cried out, “St. Francis save me!”
Suddenly a great hand reached down from Heaven, seized the poor man’s wrist and let him dangle in midair. Then a gentle voice asked, “St. Francis Xavier or St. Francis of Assisi?”
Bits & Pieces, May 25, 1995, pp. 6-8
-----

一個年輕的大學生為了隔天的動物學考試整晚熬夜。當他走進教室，他看見十個架子上有十隻鳥站在上面，每隻鳥用一個罩子罩著頭，只有腳露出來。他正襟危坐在最前排，因為希望能儘所能地考試，教授宣布考題是觀察每隻鳥的腳，然後寫出牠們的名稱、習性、屬種。

那位學生看了每隻鳥的腳，但是每隻腳看起來都一樣，於是他開始生氣，因為他熬夜了一整個晚上，但是現在卻必須分辨鳥的腳他愈想愈是生氣。最後，他再也不能忍受，他站起來走到教授的桌子說，真是愚蠢的考試，誰能憑著鳥的腳看出他們的不同來，說完把考卷往桌上一丟就向門口走去。

那個教授非常地驚訝，因為斑級太大他無法記得每個人的名字，因此當那位學生走到門口的時候，那位教授喊著：「先生，你叫什麼名字?」那位憤怒的學生拉起他的褲管說：「你告訴我啊! 你告訴我啊!」

A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten birds on them. Each bird had a sack over its head; only the legs were showing. He sat straight in the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. The professor announced that the test would be to look at each of the birds’ legs and give the common name, habitat, genus and species.

The student looked at each of the birds’ legs. They all looked the same to him. He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying and now had to identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it the madder he got. Finally he could stand it no longer. He went up to the professor’s desk and said, “What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by looking at their legs?”

With that the student threw his test on the professor’s desk and walked to the door. The professor was surprised. The class was so big that he didn’t know every student’s name so as the student reached the door the professor called, “Mister, what’s your name?” The enraged student pulled up his pant legs and said, “You tell me buddy! You tell me!”
-----

有一個人從寵物店買了一隻金絲雀。
『你確定這隻鳥會唱歌嗎？』他帶著懷疑的語氣問道。
『他是一位非常出色的演唱家啊！』
於是客人便離開了。一星期後他又出現了。
『嘿！你賣給我的這隻鳥是瘸的。』
『什麼阿，那你想要的到底是一個歌唱家還是一位舞蹈家呢？』

A man bought a canary from a pet store.
“You’re sure this bird can sing ?” he said suspiciously.
“He’s a grand singer.”
The customer left. A week later he reappeared.
“Say! This bird you sold me is lame!”
“What, what did you want a singer or a dancer?”
----

「這裏真冷，」那位有錢客人吸著鼻子說，「請你去把冷氣機關小一點，可以嗎？」，侍應生說：「可以，先生。」
過了幾分鐘，那男士又把侍應生召來，「我現在又覺得太熱了。」侍應生說：「沒有問題，我可以把冷氣機開大一點。」可是，過不久那個客人又說太冷了。
有個坐在附近的老主顧低聲跟侍應生說：「你這麼好耐性，我很佩服。那個傢伙一定把你給煩死了。」侍應生聳聳肩說：「一點也不，我們這裏根本沒有冷氣機。」
-----

四個傳道人在辯論著一連串的神學問題，三個一直跟其中一個意見不一樣而對立。一天這個傳道人決定要向至高者呼求和上訴。
「神啊，在我心裡我確知我是對的，而他們的觀點是錯的，求祢賜我一個徵兆，以致他們可以知道我明白祢的律法。」
就在那一個美麗而陽光普照天空中，一片黑雲飄來在四個傳道人頭上，隆隆一聱而立刻消散。
「這是一個從神而來的徵兆，我知道我是對的。」
但其他三個不同意，指出這只是在一酷熱天氣中的一個雷雨雲吧。
傳道人再祈禱: 「神啊，我需要一個更大的徵兆去証明我是對的，而他們是錯的，更大的徵兆吧！！！」
這次，四朵黑雲從四方出現，直飛碰撞在一起，一道雷電把這四個傳道人所站之處十呎以外的一棵樹擊倒，這片雲便立刻消失。
「我說我是對的」那孤獨的傳道人說。
但其他三個說: 「沒有一件事是不可以用大自然來解釋的。」
那個堅持己見的傳道人再求: 「神啊…」
天空立時變得漆黑的，地在震，而天上有一個深沉的聲音說，
「他…是…對…的。」
傳道人就义著腰說: 「怎麼樣?」
「怎樣? 現在是三比二！」

Four preachers had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd man out decided to appeal to a higher authority.
“Oh, God!” he cried. “I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please show me a sign, so they too will know that I understand Your laws.”
It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the preacher finished his plea, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. “A sign from God! See, I’m right, I knew it!” But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.
So he asked again: “Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign.”
This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning knocked down a tree ten feet away from the preachers. The cloud dispersed at once. “I told you I was right!” insisted the loner, but the others insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.
The insisting preacher started to ask again; just as he said, “Oh God...” the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned,
“HEEEEEEEE’S RIIIIIIIGHT!”
The sky returned to normal. The one preacher put his hands on his hips and said, “Well?”
“So?” replied another. “Now it’s three to two!”
-----

Quotes引證 :
The greatest gift which humanity has received is free choice. It is true that we are limited in our use of free choice. But the little free choice we have is such a great gift and is potentially worth so much that for this itself, life is worthwhile living. Isaac Bashevis Singer

You can make your choices but you cannot choose the consequences

Question: There were once three frogs on a log and on of them made a decision to jump in. How many were left? Answer: There are still three frogs on a log, he only made a decision, he took no action!

One is the “70 percent solution” that the military teaches... if you have 70% of the information, have done 70% of the analysis, and feel 70% confident, then move.

When any young student asks me, “Do you think I should be a dancer?” I always
say, “If you have to ask, then the answer is no.” Martha Graham

Freedom is not the right to do as you please but the liberty to do as we ought.

Making a decision is 5%; 95% is following through. Dawson Trotman

I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what to do about it. Andy Rooney

Your decisions determine your direction, and your direction determines your destiny.

When you’re 100% certain, you’re too late. Charles W. Robinson

**********************************************************

DILIGENCE/LAZINESS 殷勤懶惰
Robert Browning 告訴一個出名音樂家的事跡。，這音樂家在經濟的壓力下和通俗的要求中，做了一些不適合的表演，為了賺取現款和速成的名利。有個夜晚，當這音樂家站在表演臺，欣賞觀眾的給他熱烈的鼓掌，他瞄眼看到在私人包廂中的大師名人Rossini。這時他禁不住的眼睛下垂，臉色漲紅。觀眾還是不斷熱烈的鼓掌著，但他知道大師名人Rossini是在譴責他的低廉和沒價值的演出。

Robert Browning tells of a famous musician who, under financial pressure and the influence of popular demand, lowered his standards and produced some inferior works that brought in ready cash and a measure of success. One evening as he stood on the platform enjoying the applause of the audience, he happened to glance at a private box and see the master, Rossini. His eyes fell and his color rose. The mob applauded, but he knew that the master condemned the cheap and unworthy work. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 584)
-----

A householder left a patch of land completely unattended. On returning from a journey he found it full of stones, old bottles, and other rubbish. Though he had never attempted to garden before, he took a spade and began to dig up the ground and clear away the debris. Then he sowed a few seeds. With tremendous excitement he watched his garden patch. When at last he saw little shoots pushing up through the ground he was almost in ecstasy. Gradually the plants grew and at last the flowers appeared. To him it looked beautiful. One day his pastor stopped by. He couldn’t get the pastor excited about his garden. Finally the pastor said, “Yes, it is wonderful what Almighty God does with a patch of ground like that.” “Oh, it is,” said the man, “but I wish you had seen this place when the Almighty had it all to Himself!” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 567)
-----

有一個人告訴醫生說他再也無法做他平常做的家事了。當所有的檢查都完畢後，他說：「醫生，現在請你簡單告訴我，我的問題到底是什麼？你說什麼，我都能夠接受。」
醫生回答說：「簡單地說，你只是懶惰而已。」
這人說：「好，那麼請給我一個醫學名詞，我好告訴太太。」

A man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”
“Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.”
“OK,” said the man. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”
-----

有一隻袋鼠想要從動物園逃出去。動物園的管理員知道牠會掉很高，所以就設了10尺高的柵欄。然而，隔天早晨，這隻袋鼠還是又跑了出來，在動物園裡散步。
於是管理員又把柵欄加高到20尺，可是，隔天早晨，這隻袋鼠一樣又跑了出來，在動物園裡散步。
就這樣，一晚又一晚，直到柵欄加高到60尺。最後，隔壁籠子的駱駝問袋鼠：「你覺得柵欄還會做到多高？」
袋鼠回答說：「大概會到100尺吧！除非晚上有人把柵欄的門給栓起來！」

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. However, the next morning the kangaroo was out again, just roaming around the zoo.
The zoo officials raised the height of the fence to twenty feet. Again, however, the next morning the kangaroo was again roaming around the zoo.
This kept on, night after night, until the fence was sixty feet high. Finally, the camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, “How high do you think they’ll go?”
The kangaroo replied, “Probably a hundred feet, unless somebody starts locking the gate at night!”
-----

奧運選手的智慧
前任/現任奧運選手給有志向之運動員的忠告：
努力練習 -36%
享受運動的樂趣 -18%
設定目標 –18%
相信自己 –17%
不怕失敗 –10%
不斷求進步 –10%
因為渴望，所以運動 –10%
備註：有志者可以有多於一項以上的選擇
來源：McDonald’s Guest Breaks (USA Today 3/4/96)

Olympian Wisdom
Former/current Olympians advice for aspiring athletes:
Work hard -36%
Have fun in sport -18%
Set a goal – 18%
Believe in self – 17%
Don’t fear failure – 10%
Always improve – 10%
Play because you want to – 10%
Note: Respondents could choose more than one
Source: McDonald’s Guest Breaks (USA Today 3/4/96)
-----

有一名士兵想開一個玩笑，在他回到營房的時候，他大聲說：「我手裡有十塊錢，我要把它送給我們這裡最懶的人！」他的話剛說完，大夥都跑到他面前說他們是怎樣懶─只剩下一個士兵在床上躺著一動也不動，他說：「快把十塊錢拿來放在我的口袋裡！」聽完這個故事使我們會心一笑，但這並不值得我們鼓勵。
法國人伏爾泰說：「一切工作，最後總會變成無限的快樂，並且代替了生活的各種幻想。」他十分果決地指出：如果不打算自殺，便要常常找些事做，沒有事做和死亡是一樣的。這位鼓吹自由精神的鬥士，為法國大革命的先驅，伏爾泰最厭惡懶蟲，他甚至斷定：除了懶惰者以外，世界上其餘的人都是好人。
第二次世界大戰最激烈的時候，英國首相邱吉爾每天工作十八小時，有人問他：「是否為你的鉅大責任憂慮呢？」邱吉爾淡然地回答：「我太忙了，沒有時間憂慮。」的確，忙碌的人沒有時間憂慮，他的時間放在思考，放在工作，工作使他把憂慮拋得遠遠的。
-----

Quotes引證 :
我們需要六個 up：醒來、起來、站起來、活絡起來、振作起來以及奮發圖強。
We need six ups: Wake up, get up, stand up, warm up, cheer up and speed up.

If a man lacks enthusiasm it takes him twice as long to accomplish a task.
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)

對於你有能力賺取的東西，絕不彎腰乞討。（塞萬提斯Miguel de Cervantes）
Never stand begging for that which you have the power to earn. Miguel de Cervantes

神賞賜每隻鳥都有食物，但祂絕不把食物直接丟掉鳥巢裡。(J. G. Holland)
God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest. J. G. Holland

只要盡心竭力工作，你便可以在各階層擊敗50%的人。當你誠實、正直、又站穩某種立場時，你便可擊敗另外40%的人。而要戰勝另外10%的人，就靠嘗試而且了解：即使是失敗也不能擊垮你。
You beat 50 percent of people at any level by working hard. You beat another 40 percent by being a person of honesty and integrity and standing for something. The last ten percent is beat out by simply trying and realizing failure is not defeat.

努力工作才有奇蹟。(Kevin Johnson)
Miracles are the result of hard work. Kevin Johnson

你越力工作，你就會越幸運。(Gary Player)
The harder you work, the luckier you get. Gary Player

努力工作只不過是當我應該做的時候，把一些我以前不做的易事積聚在一起。
Hard work is simply the accumulation of easy things I didn’t do when I should have done them.

-----
DISCIPLINE 紀律

Quotes引證 :
Discipline is not making people do things; it’s getting them to do things. Burn Philips

One ought to hold on to one’s heart; for if one lets it go, one soon loses control of the head too. Friedrich Nietzsche

The soul and the body make a man; the spirit and the discipline make a Christian. John Wesley

Learn to say ‘No’; it will be of more use to you than to be able to read Latin. Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Discipline: something I do to accomplish what I cannot do by effort

The self-controlled person says “no” to sin as it tempts his appetites. He says “yes” to righteousness and “I will” to obedience. Jerry White

Discipline is the ability to say “no” to what is sin, to say “yes” to what is right, and to say “I will” to what ought to be done. Jerry White

Commitment without discipline is like a luxury car without gas: It looks great, but it’s going nowhere. Jerry White

Education教育，Elderly 長輩，Eschatology末世，Excellence 優等

2007-11-18T23:57:00.001-08:00

EDUCATION 教育
老師正以低沉單調的聲音在教室上課，當他注意到一個坐在後排的學生睡著了，
老師就向坐在那位睡覺學生旁邊的同學喊叫說，「嘿！把他叫醒！」
旁邊的同學喊叫回去，「你讓他睡著，你來叫醒他！」

The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, “Hey wake that student up!”
The neighbor yells back, “You put him to sleep, you wake him up!”
-----

老師：約瑟，你為什麼遲到？
約瑟：因為路上的一個標誌。
老師：這標誌和你的遲到有什麼關係？
約瑟：該標誌說，「學校就在前面，慢慢走！」

Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”
-----

我聽了會忘記。I hear and I forget.
我看了會了解。I see and I understand.
我做就會記住。I do and I remember.
-----

戴爾的知識圓錐論（由個人體驗而來的知識）戴爾認為：人通常的記憶有：他們所讀的能記憶的佔百分之十他們所聽的能記憶的佔百分之二十他們所看的能記憶的佔百分之三十他們看電視所能記憶的佔百分之五十他們所說或所寫的能記憶的佔百分之七十他們在做某件事所說的能記憶的佔百分之九十

Dale’s Cone of Experiences Cone of Experience
Edgar Dale:
People generally remember:
10% of what they read
20% of what they hear
30% of what they see
50% of what they hear and see – video
70% of what they say or write
90% of what they say as they do something

-----

有一天，一個父親和他的兒子去釣魚。在船上大約一個小時之後，男孩突然對他周圍的世界變得很好奇，於是他問父親：「這船如何能漂浮？」他的父親想了一下，就回答他：「兒子，我不太知道！」於是，男孩又再進到沉思中。然後，他再問父親：「魚如何能在水中呼吸？」父親再一次回答他：「兒子，我不太知道！」一會兒後，男孩再問父親：「天為甚麼是藍色？」同樣的，父親回答：「兒子，我不太知道！」男孩深恐打擾了父親，於是他說：「爸爸，你會介意我問你這些問題嗎？」「當然不會，兒子。若你不會發問，你將不會學到東西！」

A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How does this boat float?” The father thought for a moment, then replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.” The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, “How do fish breathe underwater?” Once again the father replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.” A little later the boy asked his father, “Why is the sky blue?” Again, the father replied. “Don’t rightly know, son.” Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, “Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?” “Of course not, son. If you don’t ask questions, you’ll never learn anything!”
-----

ㄧ個成功的商業顧問，他所處理的事情，通常是公司規模比較小的領導階層問題。ㄧ個管理者他問：「你能敎我如何賺大錢嗎？」顧問回答說：「當然可以。」管理者接著問：「那我需要付多少代價呢？」顧問回答：「那是我的商業機密，我是依問題來收費的。」管理者問：「你是怎麼收費？」顧問回答：「ㄧ個問題ㄧ百美元。」管理者問：「那你提供的諮詢答案，如何向我證明這是有用的呢？」顧問回答：「當然，當你問第五個問題時你就能瞭解了。」

A prospering business consultant was approached by a downsized executive.

“Can you teach me how to make big money in consulting?” asked the executive.

“Absolutely,” said the consultant.

“How much will it cost me?”

“That’s my trade secret,” said the consultant, “I charge by the question.”

“How much do you charge?”

“One hundred dollars per question.”

“Can you prove to me that charging by the question works?”

“Sure, but you realize that will be your fifth question” (Bits and Pieces 4/24/97)
----

兩個哈佛大學的學生剛從學校畢業，他們在波士頓的城裏攔了一部計程車，一邊談一邊進到車裏去。聽了他們交談了幾分鐘後，計程車司機就問他們：「你們是哈佛大學的畢業生嗎？」

這兩個畢業生很驕傲的說：「是的，我們是 ‘94’年那屆的。」

計程車司機馬上伸手過去跟他們握手說：「 ‘58’年那屆的。」

Two young men who had just graduated from Harvard were all excited and talking effusively as they got into a taxi in downtown Boston. After hearing them for a couple of minutes the cab driver asked, “You men Harvard graduates?”

“Yes Sir! Class of ‘94!” they answered proudly.

The cab driver extended his hand back to shake their hand, saying, “Class of ‘58.”
-----

一個年輕人第一天到超級市場上班，市場經理微笑地歡迎他，並熱烈的和他握手。之後，經理交給他一把掃帚，說：「你的第一個工作是打掃店內的裏外。」

這個年輕人很不高興的說：「你不知道我是一個大學畢業生嗎？」

「喔！對不起，我不知道你是大學畢業生。」經理說：「把掃帚給我，我教你怎麼掃。」

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”

“But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom -- I’ll show you how.”
-----

羅斯福說：「未曾受過教育的惡人，只從鐵路的貨車裡偷一些貨物，受了教育的惡人，若他的心沒有改變，你給他的教育，會助他偷竊整條鐵路。」
-----

Quotes引證 :
It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts. John wooden sign

除非他從痛苦經歷中學習要不然他仍是一個愚昧人。(義大利諺語)
He who cannot learn except through bitter experiences remains a fool forever. Italian

平凡的老師只講述，好的老師會解釋，優秀的老師則親自示範，最棒的老師乃會啟發學生。(William Arthur Ward)
The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires. William Arthur Ward

訓練十個人比做十個人的工作好，但它是辛苦的。(Moody)
It is better to train ten people than to do the work of ten people. But it is harder. Moody.

心靈狹隘是一件可怕的事情。
A narrow mind is a terrible thing to use. Marshall Shelly

顧問是「能掌握資訊的頭腦，有傾聽的耳，幫助人往對的方向前進。」
A mentor is “a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction.” The Uncommon Individual Foundation

教育是能永遠觸摸到人的生命。
To teach is to touch a life forever.

**********************************************************

ELDERLY 長輩
一對老夫妻發現他們開始忘記在屋子裡的一些細小東西。他們擔心這種情況可能會有危險，因為其中一人可能會忘記關爐子而引起火災。因此，他們決定去看醫生得到一些幫助。他們的醫生告訴他們，許多在他們這個年齡的人發現把事情寫在小紙條上來作為提醒還滿有用的。

老夫婦認為這個建議聽起來很好，他們便很滿意地離開醫生的辦公室。當他們回到家裡，妻子說：「親愛的，請你去廚房給我拿一盤冰淇淋？為什麼你不寫下來，以免你忘記？」丈夫說「胡說！」，「我還記得一盤冰淇淋！」妻子說「哦！」，「我還想加些草莓在上面。你最好寫下來，因為我知道你會忘記。」丈夫回答「不要愚蠢了」。「一盤冰淇淋和一些草莓。我可以記住的！」。「好吧，親愛的，但我希望你拌些奶油在上面。」現在你最好把它寫下來，要不然你會忘記「，妻子說。」得啦，我的記憶沒有那麼糟」，丈夫回答說。「沒問題 -- 一盤冰淇淋加草莓和拌些奶油。」於是，丈夫關上在他身後的廚房門。

妻子聽見她丈夫失控著處理鍋碗瓢盆，以及不是準備一盤冰淇淋，草莓和加奶油該有的聲音。約15分鐘後他從廚房出現，走到妻子面前，他拿給她一盤培根和雞蛋。妻子看著盤子，瞥一眼她的丈夫說：「嘿，吐司在哪裡？」

回覆問題，「何時表示一個女人老了？」一個著名的悲劇女演員寫著：「從不逞能，別不高興的太快，在適當的時候當智者。」

An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget many little things around the house. They were afraid that this could be dangerous, as one of them may accidentally forget to turn off the stove and thus cause a fire. So, they decided to go see their physician to get some help. Their physician told them that many people their age find it useful to write themselves little notes as reminders.

The elderly couple thought this sounded wonderful, and left the doctor's office very pleased with the advice. When they got home, the wife said, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And why don't you write that down so you won't forget?" "Nonsense," said the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream!" "Well," said the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries on it. You better write that down, because I know you'll forget." "Don't be silly," replied the husband. "A dish of ice cream and some strawberries. I can remember that!" "OK, dear, but I'd like you to put some whipped cream on top. Now you'd really better write it down now. You'll forget," said the wife. "Come now, my memory's not all that bad," said the husband. "No problem--a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream." With that, the husband shut the kitchen door behind him.

The wife could hear him getting out pots and pans, and making some noise inconsistent with his preparing a dish of ice cream, strawberries, and whipped cream. He emerged from the kitchen about 15 minutes later. Walking over to his wife, he presented her with a plate of bacon and eggs. The wife took one look at the plate, glanced up at her husband and said, "Hey, where's the toast?"
-----

Answering the question, “When is a woman old?” a famous tragedienne wrote: “The conceited never; the unhappy too soon, and the wise at the right time.”
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
-----

一位老人聽到有一些藥丸能使他恢復年青。於是他買了一盒子，本來他應該每一天服用一粒，後來在睡覺前他一次把整盒藥丸都全部服用。第二天早上，他的家人花了九牛二虎之力把老人喚醒。最後，他搓著眼睛，抱怨地說「好吧，好吧，我會起床，但我不會上學去。」

An old man heard about some pill that would restore his youth. He bought a box, but instead of taking one every day he swallowed the whole boxful one night before going to bed. The next morning his family had difficulty waking the old man. At last he rubbed his eyes. “All right, all right,” he grumbled, “I’ll get up, but I won’t go to school.”

-----

Golf
Golf is the midlife sport of choice for very different reasons......

First of all, it’s esier to reach your goals. In midlife, after all, it’s a snap to have a handicap below your age and a score below your weight. And getting easier all the time.

Golf is like midlife because only now do you realize that the course you have set upon is governed by rules so vast, so arcane, and so arbitrary that the average person -- you -- will never figure it all out.

Golf is like midlife because it is absolutely unfair. As a young person, you carry the illusion that, if you do your homework, study, and work overtime you’ll get it all right. By middle age, you know that every time you’ve got it all together -- work, family, putt, pitch -- some piece is about to unravel. I promise you.

Golf, like midlife, is played against only one opponent: yourself. By the time you reach 50, ou’d better figure out that doing well doesn’t depend on others doing badly. You don’t have to wish them ill. They’re not the reason you are shanking the ball.

Golf is like middle age, because -- ah, you knew this was coming -- in these years you really do have to play it as it lays. You don’t get to start everything all over again. The most you get is a mulligan. If it’s an unplayable lie, everybody sympathizes, but you still have to take a penalty. On the other hand, golf, like midlife, also offers another chance. No matter how badly you hit one ball, you can still recover on the next. Of course, no matter how well you hit one ball, you can always screw up on the next.

Finally, golf is like midlife because at some time on a beautiful October day, when you are searching for a ball, or for that matter your swing, you look around and realize for the first or 50th time that in this game, you’re the one keeping your own score.
-----

有一位長者徹底檢查身體後，返去覆診，醫生告訴他:「我有一個好消息和一個壞消息，你會喜歡先聽哪一個？」病人：嗯，先給我壞消息。醫生：你得了癌症，我估計你會活兩年左右。病人：這實在太可怕！兩年後我的生命將會消逝！你可還有比這更好消息可以訴我嗎？醫生：你也患上了老年癡呆症。大約3個月後，你將會忘記一切我告訴你的事。

This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?”
Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.
Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.
Patient: That’s terrible! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this?
Doctor: You also have Alzheimer’s. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.
-----

有分別是九十二歲、九十四歲和九十五歲的三姊妹同住在一起。一天晚上，年紀最大的姊姊上樓洗澡。當她的一隻腳踏進浴缸，而另一隻腳在浴缸外時，她對樓下的妹妹喊叫說，「我是要進浴缸去，還是要從浴缸中出來？」九十四歲的妹妹決定上去了解一下她的情形，看看能否幫上忙。當她來到第三級樓梯時，她停下來，然後大聲喊叫，「我是要下樓，還是要上樓？」九十二歲的妹妹正坐在廚房桌子前，她敲了桌子一下，心裡想：希望這樣倒霉的事不會發生在自己的身上，然後她說：「我希望不會跟我的姐組們一樣糟。剛才敲門的人是在正門，還是在後門敲？」

有分別是九十二歲、九十四歲和九十五歲的三姊妹同住在一起。一天晚上，年紀最大的姊姊上樓洗澡。當她的一隻腳踏進浴缸，而另一隻腳在浴缸外時，她對樓下的妹妹喊叫說，「我是要進浴缸去，還是要從浴缸中出來？」九十四歲的妹妹決定上去了解一下她的情形，看看能否幫上忙。當她來到第三級樓梯時，她停下來，然後大聲喊叫，「我是要下樓，還是要上樓？」九十二歲的妹妹正坐在廚房桌子前，她敲了桌子一下，心裡想：希望這樣倒霉的事不會發生在自己的身上，然後她說：「我希望不會跟我的姐組們一樣糟。剛才敲門的人是在正門，還是在後門敲？」

There were 3 sisters living together 92, 94 and 95 yrs. old. The oldest went upstairs one evening to take a bath. As she was getting in the tub with one foot in and one foot out, she called down to her sisters, “Am I getting in the tub or am I getting out of the tub?” The 94 yr. old decided to go upstairs to see if she could help figure out the situation. She got to the 3rd step and stopped - then called out, “Was I going up the stairs or was I coming down the stairs?” The 92 yr. old, sitting at the kitchen table, thought she better knock on wood and as she knocked on the kitchen table she said, “I hope I never get as bad as my sisters. Now was that the front door or the back door?”
-----

瓊斯太太多年以來一直是當地教會的主要會友，這是為什麼最近大家留意到她的缺席。牧師決定在主日禮拜後順道拜訪她家去看一下是否有什麼狀況。他敲她的門，因她年近85歲，她花了一點到才來應門。「請位是誰？」她問道。「我是史密斯牧師」，她回答。「喔！請進，請進，主日禮拜如何？」她問。「很好，我只是想確定你禱告需求事項是否已被應允。」「哦！親愛的，我最近是不太舒服，但我變得越來越好了。」

就在這時，電話鈴響了，她致歉的接電話。牧師坐在附近的一張桌子，上面有一本舊的讀者文摘和一碗花生。經過 15分鐘，然後 20分鐘，他聽到他的胃嗥嗥叫，開始浮躁不安。他開始吃碗上的花生，並開始閱讀。45分鐘後，他突然意識到，他吃完了所有的花生。那時瓊斯太太回來，說：「哦，我很抱歉，那通電話是我妹妹從匹茲堡打來。她一個月打一次，所以每當她打來，我們都天南地北的聊一切事。」牧師有點不好意思地說：「我必須道歉，因為當你走後，我餓了，就吃完你小碗裡的所有花生。請原諒我。」

瓊斯太太回答說：「噢，那沒關係，沒有我的牙齒，我唯一能吃的就是吸吮其中的巧克力！」她說。

Mrs. Jones had been a staple of her local congregation for many years and that is why her absence was noticed lately. The pastor decided to drop by her house to check up on her after the Sunday service. He knocked on her door and being that she’s nearly 85 it took her a bit to get to the door. “Hello, who is it?” she asked.
“It’s Pastor Smith”, he answered.”OH Hi-Come in, Come in, how’s the ministry doing?” She said. “Very well, I just wanted to make sure your prayer needs are being met.” “Oh honey, I haven’t felt well lately but I’m getting better”
Just then the phone rang and she excused herself to get it. The pastor sat near a table with an old reader’s digest and a bowl of peanuts. After 15 minutes, then 20, he heard his stomach growl and began to get restless. He started in on the bowl of peanuts and began reading. After 45 minutes, he suddenly realized that he had eaten all of the peanuts. Right then Mrs. Jones returned and said, “Oh I sure am sorry, that was my sister from Pittsburgh. She only calls once per month so when she does we have to catch up on everything.” The pastor feeling a little embarrassed said “I must also apologize, for while you were gone I got hungry and ate all the peanuts in your little bowl there. Please, forgive me” he said.
Mrs. Jones replied, “Oh that’s ok, without my teeth, all I can do is just suck the chocolate off of them!” she says.
-----

一個八十歲的老人在高爾夫球場練球，可是被他那糟透的視力所影響。他的擊球很好，但是他看不到球被打到甚麼地方去。因此，他的醫生為他找來一個九十歲，但視力很好的老人陪伴他打球，好讓他沿途觀察球被打到哪裡去。八十歲的老人擊中第一球時，便問他的同伴是否看到球落到甚麼地方去。「是……」九十歲的老人說。「它到底落到哪裡去了？」八十歲的老人追問。然後，九十歲的老人回答說：「我忘記了！」

An eighty-year-old man’s golf game was hampered by poor eyesight. He could hit the ball well but he couldn’t see where it went. So his doctor teamed him up with a ninety-year-old man who had perfect eyesight and was willing to go along to serve as a spotter. The eighty-year-old man hit the first ball and asked his companion if he saw where it landed. “Yep,” said the ninety-year-old. “Where did it go?” the eighty-year-old demanded. The ninety-year old replied, “I don’t remember.”
-----

有一對年長的夫妻，她的太太要求他先生說：「親愛的，我想要吃ㄧ點甜的東西，能不能麻煩你到街角的商店幫我買一個甜筒冰淇淋，好嗎？我要阿月渾子果實口味的冰淇淋，而且上面要灑些巧克力碎片。」，她的丈夫就喃喃自語的重複說：「冰淇淋圓筒，阿月渾子果實口味的，還有巧克力碎片。」，就出門去商店買了，幾分鐘之後，他帶了一隻熱狗回來，她的太太就很不高興的瞪著他說：「那是什麼？」她先生就回答說：「怎麼了？有什麼問題嗎？」，他太太接著說：「我告訴你！我要的是上面灑著有芥茉碎片的冰淇淋！（氣呼呼地）」

There was an elderly couple, and the wife asked her husband, “Darling, I feel like having something really sweet. Could you please go to the corner store and bring me an icecream cone? I would like pistachio icecream, with a chocolate chip topping.” The husband repeated, mumbling to himself, “Icecream cone, pistachio, chocolate chips” and went off to the store. After a few minutes, he returned with a hot dog. The wife looked at him, upset, and asked “What’s that?!” The husband asked, “Why, is there anything wrong?” The wife said, “I told you, I wanted mustard on top!”
-----

4歲時，成功是不尿濕褲子。
12歲時，成功是擁有朋友。
16歲時，成功是考取駕駛執照。
20歲時，成功是獲得性經驗。
35歲時，成功是能賺錢。
40歲時，成功是找到生活的意義與目的。
45歲時，成功是找到生活的意義與目的。
50歲時，成功是能賺錢。
60歲時，成功是重享性生活。
70歲時，成功是再考取駕駛執照。
75歲時，成功是擁有朋友。
80歲時，成功是不尿濕褲子。

At age 4, success is…not peeing in your pants.
At age 12, success is…having friends.
At age 16, success is…having a driver’s license.
At age 20, success is…having sex.
At age 35, success is…having money.
At age 40, success is…finding meaning & purpose to life.
At age 45, success is…finding meaning & purpose to life.
At age 50, success is…having money.
At age 60, success is…having sex.
At age 70, success is…having a driver’s license.
At age 75, success is…having friends.
At age 80, success is…not peeing in your pants.
-----

一個年長，並患有嚴重風濕性關節炎的女士，正使用拐杖痛苦地、蹣跚地上教堂去。對她來說，這是一個痛苦、嚴酷的考驗；有人問她：在這種情況之下，她為何仍要參與各種事奉。她答案是「我的心首先到達那裡，而我的腿卻是緊緊的跟隨在後。」

An elderly lady, dreadfully crippled with arthritis, used to hobble painfully to church on two crutches. It was an agonizing ordeal for her, and someone asked her how she managed to be at every service. Her answer was, “My heart gets there first, and my legs just follow after.”
-----

恩典性的衰老米奇老鼠的太太買了一套可以是她年輕的新系列昂貴化妝品。在梳妝臺面前使用這富奇跡性的化妝品一段很長的時間后，她問：「達玲，老實說，您認爲我是什麽嵗數？」仔細地看着她后，米奇老鼠答道：「從您皮膚的判斷是二十嵗；從您的頭髮是十八嵗，而從您的身材看是二十五嵗。」「噢，您是奉承我！」她不由而說出。「嘿，等等！」米奇老鼠打斷她的話説：「我還沒有把這些嵗數加起來。」

Mickey’s wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the “miracle” products, she asked, “Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?” Looking over her carefully, Mickey replied, “Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five.” “Oh, you flatterer!” she gushed. “Hey, wait a minute!” Mickey interrupted. “I haven’t added them up yet.”
-----

一位老太太走進家庭醫生的辦公室，坦承一件令她尷尬的事：「我常常放屁，約翰孫醫生，既沒有聲音也沒有氣味。實際上就在進來你辦公室的這麽一會兒，我大約放了二十幾個屁。我該怎麽辦呢？」

「這是處方，貝克女士，服這些藥丸每日三次每次一粒七天后再來找我。」

過了一個星期，貝克女士有點生氣地問醫生：「醫生，這是什麽葯？，我的問題越來越嚴重了！我還像以前一樣放屁，還是沒聲，但現在是臭極了。這算怎麽囘事？」

「別緊張，貝克女士，」醫生平靜地說，「現在你的嗅覺治好了，下來我們來治你的聽覺。」

An old lady came into her doctor’s office and confessed to an embarrassing problem: “I pass gas all the time, Doctor Johnson, but it’s soundless, and without odor. In fact, since I’ve been here, I’ve passed gas no less than twenty times. What can I do?”

“Here’s a prescription, Mrs. Barker. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week.”

The next week, an upset Mrs. Barker marched into Dr. Johnson’s office: “Doc, I don’t know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I’m passing gas just as much, and they’re still soundless, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Calm down, Mrs. Barker,” said the doctor soothingly. “Now that we’ve fixed your sinuses, we’ll work on your hearing.”
-----

一群住在弗羅里達的老年居民，一起圍坐著談論他們的疾病：『我的手臂非常虛弱，讓我很難拿好這杯咖啡』

其中一個說著，『對阿，我可以瞭解，我的白內障很嚴重，我甚至不能看到我的咖啡』

另一個回答說，『我不能轉動我的頭，因為我的脖子有關節炎』

第三個說著，其他人虛弱點著頭表示同意，『我的高血壓藥片要使我頭昏眼花』

另一個繼續說……，『我想這就是我們的年紀漸長的代價』一個老人臉部抽蓄地搖著頭。

然後，一片短暫的寧靜……『恩，事情沒那麼糟啦！』一個婦人笑笑地說……『感謝神，我們都還可以開車』

A group of Florida senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments:
“My arms are so weak I can hardly hold this cup of coffee,” said one.

“Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can’t even see my coffee,” replied another.

“I can’t turn my head because of the art hritis in my neck,” said a third to which several nodded weakly in agreement.

“My blood pressure pills make my dizzy,” ...another went on...”I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old,” winced an old man as he shook his head.

Then there was a short moment of silence...

“Well, it’s not that bad,” said one woman cheerfully ---

“Thank God we can still drive!”
-----

有個法國人，在五十歲生日那一天，覺得自己就將老去，心裏極為消沉。有人就請雨果去安慰安慰他。雨果對他說：「我的朋友，你該高興，你已經活過四十歲了，那是青年時期中的老年。現在你活到了五十歲，那是老年時期的青年。」韓愈說：「吾年未四十而髮蒼蒼，齒牙搖動。」
-----

當神創造驢子的時候，神告訴驢子：「你得勞碌終日，你要馱負重物、吃草得活，你智商不高但可以活到五十歲」 o驢子回答說：「我願意做一隻驢子，但活五十年對我而言是太長了一些，我只要二十年」，結果神就照他的要求應許他o神又創造了狗並且對牠說：「你要替人類看守房舍，你並要做他們最好的朋友。不論人類給你什麼，你都吃的津津有味，你可以活到二十五歲」 o狗回答說：「二十五年的壽命太長了，我只要活十年」o神也答應了他。神也創造了猴子並告訴他說：「你要從這棵樹盪到那棵樹，你要做些滑稽的動作討人的歡笑，你可以活到二十歲」。猴子回答神說：「二十年太多了，我只要十年」o神也同意了。最後神創造了人類並對他說：「你是人，是這地球上唯一有理性的動物，你有智慧管理其他動物你要掌管全地並且活到二十年」。結果人回答說：「我既然是人，二十年是不夠的。好不好你將驢子所不要的三十年、狗不要的十五年，以及猴子不要的十年都給我？」神說：「好啊！就這樣辦！你的前二十年活得人模人樣，但成年之後接下來的三十年會累的像驢子一樣，肩上常有一大堆工作的壓力。再下來的十五年你的孩子長大離家，你要像狗一樣地看守房子，有什麼吃什麼。然後你年屆退休，最後有十年的時間像猴子從一樹盪到另一樹一樣，你要輪流在你孩子的家裡作客，做些滑稽的事討你孫兒的歡心」。
-----

澳大利亞一家療養院貼有一張健康提示：「如果不注意鍛鍊身體,那麼人一旦過了50 歲,身體就一年不如一年；過了60歲,則是一個月不如一個月；過了70 歲,則是一周不如一周；到了80歲,是一天不如一天；上了90歲的人可能就會一小時不如一小時。
-----

Quotes引證 :
我說我到了五十個年就退休，但現在我不相信我必須退休除非必要的。我從來未曾想過我可以活著沒有它，但我知道有一天我將會有不同的工作。
I said I'd stop at 50 but now I don't believe in retiring unless you have to. I never have days where I think I can live without it. But I know some day I will do something different. Arsene Wenger

其餘的動物退休後如何？假如一隻獅子今天退休，明天牠將成為其它獅子的早餐。
What other animal retires? If a lion retires today, tomorrow morning he becomes his brother's breakfast. Michael Roberts

May God bless you with many more of these 3-years to come! Or 5-years, or longer. But we just have a small number of years to play with. Michael

年老猶如一艘遇難船。
Old age is a shipwreck. Charles de Gaulle

人生像一個羅網，你完全無意識的往裡面遊走。
Old age is like a trap that you wander into completely unaware. Francois De La Rochefoucauld

人生四種過程：奶水瓶，可樂瓶，啤酒瓶和點滴瓶。
4 stages of life: baby bottle, coke bottle, beer bottle and sodium chloride intravenous liquid

二十歲意志佔優勢，三十歲是智慧，四十歲則是判斷力。
At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgment. Benjamin Franklin

進展。他從辦公室事務的手續退休下來，轉而在家做健康事務的手續。
Progress. He retired from doing business paperwork at the office to doing health paperwork at home. Cecil Baxter.

當你失掉對事情的好奇心時，代表你知道你已經老了。
You know you’re old when you’ve lost all your marvels.

年齡意識是超越物質的。若你不介意，根本無關痛癢。
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

They say I’m too old. I’m old, but I’m not cold. Linford Christie, 100m gold medalist.

**********************************************************

ESCHATOLOGY 末世論
當聖方濟在花園裡鋤草，有人問他說：「在日落前，如果你死了，你會做什麼？」「我會完成鋤我的花園，」他回答：「我會鋤完我花園裡的草」。
St. Francis of Assisi was hoeing his garden when someone asked what would he do if he were to learn that he would die before sunset. “I would finish hoeing my garden,” he replied. (Bits and Pieces, 9/11/97)
-----

Quotes引證 :
生命是不確定的，先吃甜點吧。
Life is uncertain, eat dessert first.

**********************************************************

EXCELLENCE 優等
父親不太滿意撒母耳從學校帶回來的成績單，父親就問：「你是怎麼ㄧ回事，你一月的成績比去年十二月的成績還要差」，撒母耳臨到這樣窘況，以一種很受委屈的口吻對父親說：「為什麼？爸爸，你難道不知道，每ㄧ件事情在假期過後，效果總是會降低嗎？」。

Dad was not greatly pleased by the school report brought to him by his hopeful.

“How is it?” he demanded, “that you stand so much lower in your studies for the month of January than for December?”

Samuel was equal to the emergency. “Why, dad,” said he, in an injured tone, “don’t you know that everything is marked down after the holidays?” (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)
-----

在一個完美的世界，人將會感覺五士歲和十七歲的年齡狀況ㄧ樣好，實際上五十歲會被認為像十七歲一樣的靈活。在一個完美的世界，你沒有懷孕，你就不能得到免費的嬰兒床。在一個完美的世界，職業棒球選手會向百萬合約的教練抱怨。在一個完美的世界，郵件總是會提早到，支票總是可以放在郵件裡面，郵件總是會比你所期待的更多。在一個完美的世界，洋竽片或許有卡路里，但是你用手掐起來吃卡路里就可以抵消。在一個完美的世界，至少對每ㄧ個人來說，一個輕輕關門的孩子總是會被告誡地說，「走回去，用力把門關上」。

In a Perfect World a person should feel as good at 50 as he did at 17, and he would actually be as smart at 50 as he thought he was at 17.
In a Perfect World you could give away a baby bed without getting pregnant.
In a Perfect World pro baseball players would complain about teachers being paid contracts worth millions of dollars.
In a Perfect World the mail would always be early, the check would always be in the mail, and it would be written for more than you expected.
In a Perfect World potato chips might have calories, but if you ate them with dip, the calories would be neutralized.
In a Perfect World every once in a while at least, a kid who always closed the door softly would be told, “Go back and slam the door.”
-----

一位大師想從兩位徒弟中選擇一個做衣缽傳人。一天，大師吩咐徒弟說你們出去給我撿一片最完美的樹葉回來。兩個徒弟遵命而去，不久，大徒弟回來了，遞給師傅一片看來並不太漂亮的樹葉，他對師傅說：這片樹葉雖然不完美，但他是我看到最完整的樹葉。第二個徒弟在外面轉了半天，最終卻空手而歸，他對師傅說：我見到了很多很多的樹葉，但怎樣挑也挑不出一片最完美的。最後大師把衣缽傳給了大徒弟，因為他懂得做人的道理，每一個人都不完美，可是該有優點、有缺點，才是一個完整的人。
-----

艾森豪總統曾向 National Press俱樂部的聽眾說他不是一個偉大的演說家.他曾說：「我記得作孩童時在堪薩斯州農場發生的事，一位老農夫有一頭牛我們想向他購買，我們去探訪這個農夫問他關於這頭牛的生產能力。這農夫不知道何謂生產力，所以我們改問他關於這頭牛的牛油產量，他也不知所云，最後我們問他這牛每一年能產生若干磅牛奶。

農夫說:「我不知道產重，但牠是一頭誠實的牛，牠會將所有的全部牛奶給你，

總統說:「我像這頭牛我會付出一切所有的給你。

President Eisenhower once admitted to the National Press Club audience that he was not a great speaker.

He once said: It reminds me of my boyhood days on a Kansas farm. An old farmer had a cow that we wanted to buy. We went over to visit the farmer and asked him about the cow’s pedigree.

The old farmer didn’t know what pedigree meant, so we asked him about the cow’s butterfat production, He told us he didn’t have any idea what it was. Finally we asked him if he knew how many pounds of milk the cow produced each year.

The farmer said,’ I don’t know. But she’s an honest cow, and she’ll give you all the milk she has.’”
He said, “I’m like the cow, I’ll give you everything I have.”
-----

古時候，有位日本畫家，名叫賀庫塞，他的作品極受皇族的喜愛。有一天，
一位貴族請他為一隻珍貴的鳥作畫。他把鳥留下來，賀庫塞請他過一個禮拜再回來。貴族很想念他那美麗的鳥，所以一個禮拜之後，迫不及待地回到畫室，要取回他的寵物和畫。但是，當貴族到達的時候，畫家謙卑地要求再延兩個禮拜。兩個禮拜延長到兩個月，接著，變成了六個月。一年之後，貴族氣沖沖地衝進賀庫塞的畫室，拒絕再等下去，要求立刻取回鳥和畫。賀庫塞向貴族行日本禮鞠躬之後，便轉向他作畫的桌子，拿起一支畫筆和一大張宣紙，當場揮毫起來。幾分鐘之內，他輕而易舉地畫了一隻一模一樣、栩栩如生的鳥。貴族看得目瞪口呆，但他立刻就生氣了。「如果你能夠這樣不費工夫，用這麼短的時問就能畫好，為什麼讓我等了一年呢？」「這你就不懂了。」賀庫塞說罷，便領著貴族走進一個房間，在那兒，四壁貼滿了同一隻鳥的畫。然而，沒有一張能媲美最後的傑作。我們的生命畫布也是如此，我們要在人格土培養出珍貴長存的品德，並不是一蹴而就的。世上絕沒有速成的傑作。
-----

記者訪問銀行行長，請他講出成功祕訣。
「四個字。」，
「哪四個字？」
「正確決策。」
「怎樣才能作出正確決策？」
「兩個字。」
「哪兩個字？」
「經驗。」
「如何獲得經驗？」
「四個字。」
「哪四個字？」
「錯誤決策。」
-----

Quotes引證 :
畫畫的人用她的手去畫。藝術家用她的手和她的心思去畫。大師卻用她的手，她的心思及她心靈的觸覺去畫。A painter paints with her hand. An artist paints with her hand and her mind. A master paints with her hand and her mind through her heart.

偉大的思想能達到目的，其他的只有願望。
Great minds have purposes; others have wishes. Washington Irving

專業人士就是當不喜歡時, 仍會做他的工作。業餘愛好者就只會在喜歡時, 才做他的工作。
Professionals are people who can do their job when they don’t feel like it. Amateurs are people who can’t do their job when they feel like it.

不會與比你差的人爭，只會與比你好的人爭。
You don’t compete with people lesser than you are, only the better ones. David Liu

一個好的射手並不在意他的箭，只專注他的目標。
A good archer is not known by his arrows, but his aim.

廚師不知道正餐前開胃食品。
A chef is not known by his appetizers.

質量永不會帶來意外的發現，一般都會導致高品質的成果，只有真誠的努力，智力的發揮和熟練的執行，才會帶來許多明智的選擇方案。
Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives. William A. Foster

別人不會在意你做得多快，卻記得你做得多好。
People forget how fast you did a job, but they remember how well you did it. Robert N. Newton

Faith 信心，Faithfulness 忠信，Forgiveness 寬恕，Friends 朋友

2007-11-18T23:56:00.005-08:00

FAITH 信心，
有一個小男孩來到禱告會請求牧師，希望有人可以為他的妹妹禱告，使她能讀聖經。牧師將他的要求告知大家，可是正當有人開始為這件事禱告時，小男孩就站起來離席了。大家都認為他很沒禮貌，第二天他的牧師罵它。但小男孩說：「先生，我只是想去看看我妹妹第一次讀聖經。」

A little boy came to the preacher and asked him to have the folks in prayer meeting pray that the Lord might cause his sister to read the Bible. The preacher made the request known, but as soon as someone began to pray about it, little Johnny got up and left. Everyone thought him very rude, and the next day the preacher scolded him for it. But Johnny said, “Sir, I wanted to go and see my sister read the Bible for the first time.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 498)
-----

有個銀行家偶爾來到教堂，從第一次來到教堂以來，每一次來恰好牧師都講信心的道。銀行家對他說：「你為什麼不講信心以外的東西？你為什麼不說一些比較實際一點的事情呢？」幾天後有他的銀行發了一些事，牧師去看看發生了什麼事情。他發現人們驚惶地要擠兌他們的錢，他們都感到震驚和懷疑，銀行家不斷地對這些人喊話，「銀行一切運作都很好，沒事，沒事。」牧師碰他的肩膀，說：「發生了什麼事？」「為什麼這些人要擠兌，」他說，「沒有什麼事，但是這些人已經對銀行失去信心了。」牧師說，「你還記得你告訴我要我講一些比信心更實際的東西嗎？」「哦，是的，」他說，「我記得很清楚，而我嗤之以鼻，無動於衷。但終究，信心卻為商業利益和商業生活的根本。」

A minister tells how in his first parish a banker occasionally came to his church, and every time he came the minister happened to be preaching on faith. The banker said to him, “Why don't you preach on something other than faith? Why don't you preach on something practical?” A few days later there was a run on his bank, and the minister went down to see what was going on. He found the people demanding their money; they were alarmed and suspicious, and the banker was going up and down the line saying to these people, “Everything is all right. There is nothing wrong with the bank.” The minister touched him on the shoulder and said, “What is the matter?” “Why,” he said, “there is nothing wrong, but these people have lost faith in the bank.” The minister replied, “Do you remember when you told me to preach on something more practical than faith?” “Oh, yes,” he said, “I remember it very well, and I take it all back. After all, there is nothing so fundamental to the business interests and commercial life as faith.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 228)
-----

-----有個循理會的牧師曾經在一個會議上這樣祈禱：「主啊，幫助我們靈裡信靠你。」一如往常許多阿門的聲音熱烈的回應到；他繼續禱告說，「主啊，幫助我們身體相信你。同樣是一個響亮的，阿門！」回應他，接著，他用更溫暖的聲音禱告說，「主阿，並且幫助我們用我們的錢表達對你的信心。整個屋子除了一個貧窮的老姊妹以外，沒有一個，阿門。」

An old Methodist preacher once offered this prayer in a meeting: “Lord, help us to trust Thee with our souls.” Many voices responded with a hearty, old-fashioned “Amen!” “Lord, help us to trust Thee with our bodies,” he continued. Again the response was a vociferous “Amen!” Then with still more warmth he said, “And, Lord, help us to trust Thee with our money.” Not an “amen” was heard in the house, except that of an impoverished old lady. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 230)
-----

有個虔誠的基督徒母親總是教導她的女兒信心和信任的功課，特別告訴她，任何時候都不要擔心害怕，因為無論何時神總在身旁。
有一年夏天晚上，她讓小女孩上床，為她蓋被，為她祈禱後，熄了燈，走下樓。然後，在雷雨來推出西部生動閃爍的閃電和雷聲轟鳴迴響。突然一個閃電伴隨震耳欲聾的雷聲，當迴聲消失，母親聽到小女孩拼命地喊叫，「媽媽！媽媽！快來抱我。」母親發現小女孩顫抖地哭著。
母親一面安撫她，一面認為這是一個機會教育的好時機，她說：「我的小寶貝，媽媽不是告訴過你很多次嗎？不必擔心害怕，因為神總在你身邊，沒有任何東西可以傷害你的。」小女孩雙臂環住母親的脖子，說：「是的，媽媽。我知道神總是在我身旁，但是在閃電和雷聲如此可怕的時候，我還是希望有人能靠近我，擁抱我。」

There was a devout Christian mother who was always teaching her daughter lessons of faith and trust, especially telling her that she need never be afraid at any time because God was always near. One summer evening she tucked her little girl in bed after her prayers, put out the light, and went downstairs. Then an electrical storm came rolling out of the west with vivid flashes of lightning and a reverberating roar of thunder. Suddenly there was a simultaneous blinding flash and a deafening crash, and when the echoes died away, the mother heard the little girl calling desperately, “Mama! Mama! Come and get me.” The mother found her trembling, little girl in tears. After she had soothed her somewhat, she thought it might be an opportune time to teach a spiritual lesson, and said, “My little girl, has Mother not taught you many times that you need never be afraid, that God is always near, and nothing can harm you?” The little one put her arms around her mother's neck and said, “Yes, Mama. I know that God is always near, but when the lightning and the thunder are so awful, I want someone near me that's got skin on him.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 231)
-----

你曾否嘗試一次過拿走所有在生命裏的重擔？要承擔起昨日、今日甚至有時連明天的擔子和誘惑，一天也不容易。
病人遇到一連串的意外後問：「醫生，我要睡在這多久？」
「今日來說只需要一天時間。」病人被教導一個寶貴功課。讓我們忠心於當下的那一天，悠長的歲月自會有其渡過的方法。

Did you ever try to lift all the burdens of life at once? It is hard to bear yesterday's, today's, and sometimes tomorrow's burdens and temptations in one day. A doctor was once asked by a patient who had met with a serious accident, “Doctor, how long shall I have to lie here?” The answer, “Only a day at a time,” taught the patient a precious lesson. It is the same lesson that you and I need—the day's portion in its day. Let us be faithful for one short day, and the long years will take care of themselves. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 232)
-----

有位持懷疑論的醫生對他的基督徒病患說，「我也無法了解救贖的信仰。我相信神，我想我相信耶穌基督，我沒有意識到任何的懷疑。我相信耶穌基督是神的兒子，我相信聖經，但我還沒有得救，我感覺不到神在我身邊。我到底是怎麼了？」「哦，」病人說，「一個星期前，我相信你是一個非常熟練的醫師。我相信，如果我把自己交在你手裡，我的病就會好起來。換句話說，我信任你。一星期來，我吃從一個瓶子裡取出的一些神秘的東西。我不知道它是什麼，我雖不明白，但我相信你。
現在，每當一個人轉向主耶穌基督說：『主耶穌，基督教在我看來充滿奧秘。我不明白他們，但我認為你是值得信賴的，我相信祢，我把自己交給你，』這就是信仰。很簡單的信念，不是嗎？」病人的信心並沒有醫治他，只是得醫治的補劑，但由於信，他得了醫治。

A skeptical physician said to his Christian patient, “I could never understand saving faith. I believe in God and I suppose I believe in Jesus Christ—I am not conscious of any doubts. I believe that Jesus Christ was the Son of God, and I believe in the Bible, yet I am not saved, I do not feel God near me. What is the matter with me?” “Well,” said the patient, “a week ago I believed in you as a very skillful physician. I believed that if I put myself in your hands I would recover from my illness. In other words, I trusted you. For a week now I have been taking some mysterious stuff out of a bottle. I don't know what it is; I don't understand it, but I am trusting in you. Now, whenever a person turns to the Lord Jesus Christ and says, 'Lord Jesus, Christianity seems to me to be full of mysteries. I do not understand them, but I believe Thou art trustworthy and I trust Thee; I commit myself to Thee,' that is faith. A very simple thing, isn't it?” The faith of the patient did not heal him; it was the remedy that healed him; but in faith he took the remedy. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 233)
-----

你見過一個鐵匠鍛造一塊鐵嗎？他把它放在火裡柔軟它，使其具有可塑性。這就是為什麼神會允許，試煉和誘惑去測試考驗你的信心。他要使你變得能忍耐，變得柔韌可塑。因為在亞當的失敗裡，我們失去了神聖的樣式與形象。神要按照他的形象重塑我們，如果你我都不斷地逃出火煉之痛，我們將變得僵硬無用。

Have you ever seen a blacksmith work with a piece of iron? He holds it in the fire to soften it and make it pliable. That is exactly why God permits the testing of your faith by temptations and trials. He wants you to acquire patience, to acquire pliability. If you and I are constantly out of the fire of affliction, we become stiff and useless. God wants to reshape us according to His image, for in the fall of Adam we lost our divine shape, our divine image. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 234)
-----

看來很可憐一個虔誠的法國人，很煩惱地問他的屬靈導師：「我承認我的信仰，但常常事與願違；我期望過基督徒生活，但常常失敗。神必定不喜悅我在信仰裏無能為力。
那牧者仁慈的回答他：「法國國王在不同區分有兩個城堡，他派一名指揮官到每個城堡。名為「文尼巴尼」(Mantleberry)堡位於遠離任何危險的內陸地方；但名為「拿羅撒尼」(La Rochelle)的城堡則位於海岸，常有被圍城的危機。現在你看那個指揮官會在國王心目中有較高的評價--「文尼巴尼」(Mantleberry)或「拿羅撒尼」(La Rochelle)？
「還需要說，國王當然看那個要承擔困難工作和勇氣面對危險那一位。」
智者回答說：「對了，現在就應用在你身上。」

A poor but devout Frenchman came to his spiritual advisor and said with a sorrowing heart: “I profess faith in God, but at times, against my will, I'm overwhelmed with doubts as I try to live a Christian life in this world. Surely, God must be displeased with me as I struggle to overcome them.” The clergyman answered with much kindness, “The King of France has two castles in different areas and sends a commander to each of them. The castle of Mantleberry stands in a place remote from danger, far inland; but the castle of La Rochelle is on the coast, where it is liable to continued sieges. Now which of the two commanders, do you think, stands highest in the estimate of the King—the commander of La Rochelle, or he of Mantleberry?” “Doubtless,” said the poor man, “the King values him the most who has the hardest task, and braves the greatest dangers.” “You are right,” replied his advisor, “And now apply this matter to your case and mine.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 236)
-----

美國德州大學社會人口統計學家羅拔堪瑪(Robert Hummer)在1992年開始，為了一個題目跟蹤某個數目的群體，得著一個難以否認的結果。與最近8年每星期參與宗教服務比較，那些從不參與的有雙倍死亡的風險。完全沒有與每週有穩定教會生活同樣在死亡率上有很大分別。

英國國教牧師丹尼河和匹茲堡大學醫療中心外科醫生做了類似的分析，發現出席教會的人壽命，比較上多二年或三年。他同時肯定發覺，做運動加增三至五年；與「施德丁(一種抗血脂藥物，成分包括羅瓦施德丁)」治療加增二年半至三年半。還有，加入一個群體，長時間一起生活會出現有彼此聯繫的作用。

Social demographer Robert Hummer of the University of Texas has been following a population of subjects since 1992, and his results are hard to argue with. Those who never attend religious services have twice the risk of dying over the next eight years as people who attend once a week. People who fall somewhere between no churchgoing and weekly churchgoing also fall somewhere between in terms of mortality.

A similar analysis by Daniel Hall, an Episcopal priest and a surgeon at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, found that church attendance accounts for two to three additional years of life. To be sure, he also found that exercise accounts for three to five extra years and statin therapy for 2.5 to 3.5. Still, joining a flock and living longer do appear to be linked. ("The Biology of Belief," Time, Feb. 12, 2009) http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1879016-1,00.html
-----

Neal Krause, a sociologist and public-health expert at the University of Michigan, has tried to quantify some of those more amorphous variables in a longitudinal study of 1,500 people that he has been conducting since 1997. He has focused particularly on how regular churchgoers weather economic downturns as well as the stresses and health woes that go along with them. Not surprisingly, he has found that parishioners benefit when they receive social support from their church. But he has also found that those people who give help fare even better than those who receive it — a pillar of religious belief if ever there was one. He has also found that people who maintain a sense of gratitude for what’s going right in their lives have a reduced incidence of depression, which is itself a predictor of health. And in another study he conducted that was just accepted for publication, he found that people who believe their lives have meaning live longer than people who don’t. “That’s one of the purported reasons for religion,” Krause says. “The sign on the door says, ‘Come in here and you’ll find meaning.’” (“The Biology of Belief,” Time, Feb. 12, 2009) http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1879016-1,00.html
-----

一位牧師對他的信衆講解信心和現實的區別。他說：「你們在教會裏坐在我面前，是事實。我站在這裏的講壇上，是事實。但是若我相信這裏的每一位都能聽進我講道，才是信心。」

A pastor was speaking to his people on the relationship between fact and faith. He said, “That you are sitting before me in this church is fact.
That I am standing here, speaking from this pulpit is fact.
That I believe anyone is listening to me is faith!”
-----

Quotes引證 :
Faith doesn't get you around trouble, it gets you through it.

信心不是：我認爲某事對我好，所以神必須把它給我；而是：神把某東西給我，我信它一定是對我好的。
Faith says not, “I see that it is good for me, so God must have sent it,” but, “God sent it, and so it must be good for me.”

信心並非與知識對立，乃是與肉眼所見的對立。恩典並非與努力對立，乃是與賺取對立。
Faith is not opposed to knowledge; it is opposed to sight. And grace is not opposed to effort; it is opposed to earning. Dallas Willard, In Search of Guidance, 209

盼望是對未來的暢想曲。
Hope is the melody of the future. Faith is to dance to it. Robert Alves

信心是相信所未見的，對信心的獎賞是能看見所信的。
Faith is to believe what we do not see, and the reward of this faith is to see what we believe. Augustine

**********************************************************

FAITHFULNESS 忠信
漢斯是一個住在德國的牧羊小男孩。當他為主人牧羊時，一個獵人從森林騎馬走向他。獵人問他:「到最近的村莊有多遠，我的男孩？」漢斯回答：「六哩，先生。」
「但是那只是一條羊走的路徑，你可能容易迷路。」獵人從馬上俯身說：「我的男孩，若你肯帶我的路，我會附你一個好的價錢。」漢斯搖頭：「先生，我不能離開羊。」他說：「它們可能會在森林裡迷失，而且狼可能吃了它們。」獵人說：「若羊被吃或被偷，我會賠償你，我會給你超過一年所賺的錢。」漢斯說：「羊是我主人的，若它們丟掉了，該責怪的人是我。」獵人繼續說：「如果你不能帶我去那村莊，可否幫我找個響導？當你去找時，我會幫你照顧你的羊。」漢斯再一次搖頭。他說：「我不能這樣做，羊不認得你的聲音，並且不知道你會不會照顧它們。」獵人問他：「你不能信任我嗎？」漢斯說：「不是，先生。你試著要讓我不遵守我和我主人的約定;我怎知道你是否會向我守約？」這獵人笑了說：「你對了，我希望我能信任我的僕人，如同你的主人信任你一樣。」
正當這時森林中有許多人出來，看見這獵人，他們把馬頭轉向獵人騎過來。他們很歡喜的呼喊:「先生﹗我們以為你丟了。」這時漢斯才驚訝的知道這獵人是這個王國的王子。他怕這偉大的人會懲罰他，但是王子只是微笑，並且感謝他，然後他們就離開了。幾天後王子的僕人來把漢斯帶到王宮王子說：「漢斯，我要你離開你的羊來服事我。我知到你是一個我可以信任的男孩。」漢斯對於他的好運非常興奮，但是他回答：「如果我的主人能找到替代我的人，我會回來且服事你。」所以漢斯回去管理羊群直到主人找到另外的男孩。他後來服事王子許多年。William J Bennett, Moral Compass, 260-61

Hans was a little shepherd boy who lived in Germany. One day, when he was keeping his master’s sheep, a hunter rode up to him out of the forest. ‘How far is it to the nearest village, my boy?’ asked the hunter, ‘It is six miles, sir,’ replied Hans. ‘But the road is only a sheep track. You might easily miss your way.’ ‘My boy,’ said the hunter, leaning down from his horse, ‘if you will take me there I will pay you well.’ Hans shook his head. ‘I cannot leave the sheep, sir,’ he said. ‘They would stray in the forest and the wolves might eat them.’ ‘But if one or two sheep are lost or eaten,’ said the hunter, ‘I will pay you well for them. I will give you more than you can earn in a year.’ ‘No, sir,’ said Hans. ‘The sheep belong to my master. If they are lost, I should be to blame.’ ‘If you cannot take me to the village,’ the hunter went on, ‘will you get me a guide? I will take care of your sheep while you are gone.’ Again Hans shook his head. ‘I cannot do that,’ he said. ‘The sheep do not know your voice and I do not know if you would take good care of them. ‘Can’t you trust me?’ asked the hunter. ‘No sir,’ said Hans. ‘You have tried to make me break my promise to my master; how do I know that you will keep your promise to me?’ The hunter laughed. ‘You are right,’ he said. ‘I wish I could trust my servants as your master can trust you.’

Just then several men rode out of the forest and seeing the hunter they spurred their horses towards him. ‘Sire!’ they shouted joyfully. ‘We thought you were lost!’ Then Hans learned to his great surprise that the hunter was a prince of the kingdom. He was afraid that the great man would punish him. But the prince only smiled and spoke in praise of him and then they all rode away. Some days later a servant came from the prince and took Hans to the palace. ‘Hans,’ said the prince, ‘I want you to leave your sheep and to come and serve me. I know that you are a boy whom I can trust.’ Hans was very happy over his good fortune but he replied, ‘If my master can find another boy to take my place, then I will come and serve you.’ So Hans went back and looked after the sheep until his master found another boy. After that he served the prince for many years. William J Bennett, Moral Compass, 260-61
-----

有一個守衛負責管理一座沿著危險海岸線的燈塔，他被給了足夠一整個月用的油，並被告知需要每晚使這燈燃燒。有一天一個婦人來要油想使她的孩子們暖活。接下來一個農夫來，他的兒子需要油點燈才能讀書。這守衛覺得給他們是很值得的，於是就給了他們。到了月底時油燈的油沒了，那晚海岸是暗的，三艘船撞毀在岩石上，失去了一百多條性命。照顧燈塔的人解釋為何發生這樣的事。但是判決的人說：「給你的任務只有一個：使這燈維持燃燒，其它的事都是次要的，你沒有任何的藉口」。Fr. Ernest Munachi Ezeogu

A guard in charge of a lighthouse along a dangerous coast was given enough oil for one month and told to keep the light burning every night. One day a woman asked for oil so that her children could stay warm. Then a farmer came. His son needed oil for a lamp so he could read. Another needed some for an engine. The guard saw each as a worthy request and gave some oil to satisfy all. By the end of the month, the tank in the lighthouse was dry.

That night the beacon was dark and three ships crashed on the rocks. More than one hundred lives were lost. The lighthouse attendant explained what he had done and why. But the prosecutor replied, “You were given only one task: to keep the light burning. Every other thing was secondary. You have no excuse.”
Fr. Ernest Munachi Ezeogu
-----

1960年有一個佈道團往非洲領佈道會，這一佈道團的飛機路過西非的達卡，一個法國的傳教士在機場迎接他們，並且一起飲用咖啡。同工中有一人聽說他在回教徒中已經工作十年，就問他說，「在那十年中有多少回教徒悔改信主耶穌？」『哦』他很遲疑不決的回答說，『一個、兩個共三個！』『十年中共三個，為何你不他徙呢？』『為何我尚在這裡？』他對於此問覺得很奇怪，面色呈現詫異說，『我尚在此是因基督如此的命令！』
-----

有一次林中鳥聯合起來和山中的獸交戰。蝙蝠自以為聰明不表示加入那一邊，雖然雙方都爭取牠，但牠心裹都有數。這場戰爭打得很猛烈，血肉橫飛，聲震山嶽。起初獸快要戰勝，蝙蝠便加入獸的陣營，對獸王：「我不是鳥，鳥沒有牙齒，我有兩排牙齒，不是獸是甚麼呢?。」後來鳥得到鷹來助戰，立刻扭轉戰局。蝙蝠便馬上投降鳥，對鳥王說：「獸是沒有翅膀，不會飛，你看，我有翅膀會飛，我和你們都屬同類的。」因為戰爭難分勝負，鳥獸只好講和。那時鳥獸雙方都不承認蝙蝠，到如今蝙蝠總是白天躲藏不敢露面，等到大地黑暗，鳥歸林，獸歸山，方敢出來。（楊信德，《新約聖經一般故事講道集》）

**********************************************************

FORGIVENESS 赦免
兩個男孩在某個下午一起玩耍，較大的因欺負另一個，遊戲終止。年幼的佐治很神氣的埋怨，與對方保持距離，勇敢地眨著眼晴流淚坐在一旁。一段時間後，較大的男孩厭倦獨個兒玩，於是開口：「講些話，佐治，回來吧！對不起！」佐治被剛才負面經歷嚇怕，沒有即時回應他的邀請，小心回答：「好的，我接受你的道歉，但是那種？是否不再做多一次剛才的行為呢？」

Two little boys were playing together one afternoon. They had not been playing long when the larger boy took advantage of his weaker playmate. Georgie, the smaller one, too proud to complain, withdrew some distance and sat by himself, manfully winking back the ready tears. After a short time, the larger boy grew tired of his solitary play and called, “Say, Georgie, come back. I’m sorry.” Georgie, warned by previous experience, did not respond to the invitation at once. “Yes,” he replied cautiously, “but what kind of sorry? The kind so you won’t do it again?” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 604)
-----

這是發生在約翰衛斯理和約瑟夫布福之間的事。他們已有一段很長時間是旅遊伙伴，而約瑟夫布福願意為對方犧牲健康甚至生命，但絕不向他屈服。一天，約翰衛斯理向約瑟夫說：「把這些信件送往郵局。」約瑟夫回答：「我會在你講完道之後，長官。」約翰衛斯理再說：「現在就去，約瑟夫。」
約瑟夫轉向衛斯理說：「我希望聽到你的講道，之後還有有足夠時間到郵局。」衛斯理很不喜悅說：「我堅持你現在去，約瑟夫。」
約瑟夫更忿怒地回答：「我不會現在就去。」
「你肯定不去。」
「不會的，長官。」

衛斯理說：「那樣我們唯有各行各路了。」「很好呀！」約瑟夫很快就回應說。這兩個好人隨後上床睡覺，他們都是早起的人。
他們於早上4時起來，衛斯理再次向約瑟夫說：「你是否考慮清楚我所講的—就是要各行各路。」
「是的，長官。」就是回覆。「我們是否一定要分開？」「請求你，長官。」
然後衛斯理說：「請問你可否講多次，約瑟夫。」
「不會的，長官。」約瑟夫很快的回答。
「你不會？」
「不會，長官。」約瑟夫再說。

This incident occurred between John Wesley and Joseph Bradford. Bradford was for some years the traveling companion of Mr. Wesley for whom he would have sacrificed health and even life, but to whom his will would never bend. “Joseph,” said Mr. Wesley one day, “take these letters to the post office.” Bradford replied, “I will take them after your preaching, sir.” Wesley again said, “Take them now, Joseph.” Bradford turned to Mr. Wesley and said, “I wish to hear you preach, sir; and there will be sufficient time for the post office after the service.” Wesley was not at all pleased and said, “I insist upon your going now, Joseph.” Bradford rather angrily replied, “I will not go at present.” “You will not!” “No, sir.”

“Then you and I must part,” said Wesley. “Very well, sir,” was Mr. Bradford's quick response. The good men slept over it. Both were early risers. At four o'clock the next morning, Wesley said to Bradford, “Joseph, have you considered what I said—that we must part?” “Yes, sir,” was the reply. “And must we part?” “Please yourself, sir,” Then Wesley said, “Will you ask my pardon, Joseph?” “No, sir,” came the quick reply from Bradford. “You will not?” “No, sir,” Bradford said again. “Then,” answered Wesley, “I will ask yours, Joseph.” That is what a Christian should do—be willing to ask forgiveness instead of expecting others to ask forgiveness of him. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 254)
-----

Anthony Brady, the industrialist, tells of the time when, many years ago, he was tormented by bedbugs at a hotel which was considered to be far above such nasty inhabitants. Upon returning home, he wrote an indignant letter to the manager of the hotel, complaining about the matter.

Brady’s friends- even his own family- cautioned him about the futility of letters of complaint, so his satisfaction was understandably great when, in due course, he received an apologetic letter assuring him that such a thing would never happen again. But his elation was quashed a moment later, however, when he discovered an interoffice memo that had inadvertently been inserted with the letter, and which said tersely: “Send this guy the bug letter!”
-----

安東尼.博萊帝，一位企業家，說出有關於多年前，住在一家旅館，飽受床上蟲子的苦，這家旅館是不應該有這種蟲的。回家以後他寫了一封信給旅館的經理抱怨這事。博萊帝的朋友，甚至他的家人提醒他，抱怨信是沒有用的。因此可想而知當他收到一封從旅館寄來的抱歉信，保證這事不會再發生時他非常的滿意。但他的喜悅之情持續不久，當他發現一張辦公室內部用的紙條夾在裏面，上面說：「寄給那個人這一封蟲的信。」
一個農夫有一個兒子名叫約翰，他對於別人叫他做的事欠思考也不太在乎。有一天他的父親對他說：「約翰，你非常的不小心而且健忘，我將釘一個釘子進入那個柱子，提醒你是何等的頑皮，每一次你若做對了，我會拔一根出來。」他的父親真的照他所說的做，每天有時是一根，有時很多根被釘入，但是很少被拔出的。最後約翰看到柱子釘滿了釘子，但是很少有被拔出的，他開始對他自己有這麼多的錯事十分的羞愧。他開始決定成為一個好男孩，隔天因為他很乖，許多釘子被拔出。接下來一樣的事情發生並持續一段時間，直到只剩下一根釘子。然後他的父親把他叫過來對他說：「約翰，這是最後一根釘子，現在我要把他拔出來，你有沒有很高興。約翰哭泣著說：「有，釘子不見了，但是傷痕還在那裏。」

Nails in the Post, by M. F. Cowdery, in The Moral Compass: Stories for a Life’s Journey p. 24, edited by William J. Bennett, Simon & Schuster
There was once a farmer who had a son named John, a boy very apt to be thoughtless, and careless about doing what he was told to do.

One day his father said to him, “John, you are so careless and forgetful, that every time you do wrong, I shall drive a nail into that post, to remind you how often you are naughty. And every time you do right I will draw one out.” His father did as he said he would, and every day he had one and sometimes a great many nails to drive in, but very seldom one to draw out.

At last John saw that the post was quite covered with nails, and he began to be ashamed of having so many faults. He resolved to be a better boy, and the next day he was so good and industrious that several nails came out. The day after it was the same thing, and so on for a long time, till only one nail remained. His father then called him, and said, “Look, John here is the very last nail, and now I’m going to draw it out. Are you not glad?”

“Yes”, sobbed John, “the nails are gone, but the scars are still there.”
-----

有個人去請教猶太教師，問道：「夫子啊！我做錯了事，因為我毀謗了我的朋友，散佈了關於他的謠言，實在懊悔極了。我已經去找我的朋友向他坦承我所做的事並祈求他的原諒，結果他好心地原諒了我的過犯。現在我來求神的赦免，因我觸犯了祂的誡命。所以，夫子！我來找你，看看要怎要做，才能在毀謗和中傷朋友的這件事上得到赦免？」那位猶太教師想了一想之後，問他：「你看到我床上的那個鵝毛枕頭沒有？你拿著那個枕頭到市中心的廣場上，將枕頭劃開，讓裡頭的羽毛飛出來，這就是對你說壞話、做壞事的懲罰了」。那個人雖然感到納悶，但還是照著做了。他在市中心的廣場劃開枕頭，並看著裡頭的羽毛飛出來，隨即消失在空中。於是他回去見那個教師，告訴他：「我已拿著枕頭到了市中心的廣場，劃開枕頭並讓裡頭的羽毛飛走。現在我該已經從毀謗、中傷我的朋友這件事上獲得赦免了吧？」「不！」，他說：「你的功課還沒做完，你才剛做了一半。很好！羽毛是都飛走了，但現在我耍你將它們都找回來」。
-----

老王習慣早上起來就到老張的早餐店，叫份燒餅油條和豆漿，來填飽肚子。貪小便宜的老王總是在豆漿喝到一半的時候，向老張抱怨豆漿太甜了，要求加點豆漿沖淡，又喝了一點，又抱怨豆漿不夠甜，要求再加點糖，如此往返，倒佔了不少便宜。
有天，老王和老張不約而同參加附近教會的佈道會，台上講員鼓勵聽眾要學習尋求別人的饒恕，也要饒恕得罪你的人。老王深受感動，就走到老張面前請求老張原諒他，因為他常在吃早餐時，佔他的便宜，此時，老張就說：「我原諒你但請你也原諒我。」老王不解地問：「為什麼？」老張不好意思地說，「當你每次要求我加豆漿或加糖時，我常生氣地在豆漿裡面吐了點口水再端給你喝。」老王一聽見這話不勝其怒，給了老張一個巴掌，生氣地說：「你怎麼可以這樣？」
-----

畫家達文西( Leonardo da Vinci)在創作「最後的晚餐」時，他所遇到最大挑戰就是如何去畫耶穌和十二使徒的臉。他先畫十二使徒，帶著輕鬆喜悅又敬畏的心情，其實達文西並沒有遇到太大的挑戰，但當他畫到賣主的猶大時，一股怨恨、不情願、惡毒的情緒湧上心頭。他苦思良久，想著要怎樣去畫猶大的臉，最後他想到了一個他討厭的人，一個到現在他仍憎恨又憤怒的人。達文西一想到此就覺得是報仇的機會，因此欣喜、毫不猶豫、沾沾自喜地決定用這個仇人的臉當猶大的臉。但當他要畫耶穌的臉時，他遇到極大的困難，他來來回回嘗試了幾次都不滿意，最後他不得不以那個他用來畫猶大的敵人的臉作為素材，據此畫出耶穌的臉；結果令他很滿意，因此一幅傳世經典之作就這樣完成了。
-----

Quotes引證 :
悔改是把傷害我們的事轉為一個可以醫治我們的人。
Repentance is turning from something that’s hurting us to someone who can heal us. Ted Roberts

饒恕不是一個聖潔的遺忘把過去抹去。它是一個醫治的經歷，把毒素從傷口引流出來。
Forgiveness is not a case of ‘holy amnesia’ that wipes out the past. Instead, it is the experience of healing that drains the poison from the wound.

饒恕比報復好。如果你想要報復，就去挖兩個墳墓。約翰.米頓John Milton
Forgiveness is better than revenge. If you want revenge, then dig two graves. John Milton

饒恕比報復好，饒恕是柔和本性的象徵，但是報復象徵著兇惡的本質。
Forgiveness is better than revenge, for forgiveness is the sign of a gentle nature, but revenge is the sign of a savage nature.

**********************************************************

FRIENDS 朋友
A Friend is . . . . .
Accepts you as you are 接受原本的你
Believes in "you" 相信你這個人
Calls you just to say "Hi" 打電話給你就是想說聲 " 嗨 "
Doesn't give up on you 從不放棄對你的信心
Envisions the whole of you 預期你總是盡全力

Forgives your mistakes 原諒你的過錯
Gives unconditionally 無條件地過錯
Helps you 幫助你
Invites you over 邀請你
Just "be" with you 靜靜地在你的身旁
Keeps you close at heart 靠近你的心

Loves you for who you are 因你原來的樣子而愛你
Makes a difference in your life 使你的生活與以往不同
Never judges 不間斷
Offers support 支持你
Picks you up 扶你一把
Quiets your fears 止息你的懼怕

Raises your spirits 鼓舞你的心靈
Says nice things about you 跟別人述說你好的那一面
Tells you the truth when you need to hear it 當需要時會告訴你實情
Understands you 懂你
Values you 看重你

Walks beside you 與你同行
X-plain things you don't understand 解你的疑惑
Yells when you won't listen and 在你聽不下時會大吼一下
Zaps you back to reality 把你拉回現實
-----

What Are Friends For?
Published: New York Times, April 20, 2009

Researchers are only now starting to pay attention to the importance of friendship and social networks in overall health. A 10-year Australian study found that older people with a large circle of friends were 22 percent less likely to die during the study period than those with fewer friends. A large 2007 study showed an increase of nearly 60 percent in the risk for obesity among people whose friends gained weight. And last year, Harvard researchers reported that strong social ties could promote brain health as we age.

In 2006, a study of nearly 3,000 nurses with breast cancer found that women without close friends were four times as likely to die from the disease as women with 10 or more friends. And notably, proximity and the amount of contact with a friend wasn’t associated with survival. Just having friends was protective.

Bella DePaulo, a visiting psychology professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara, whose work focuses on single people and friendships, notes that in many studies, friendship has an even greater effect on health than a spouse or family member. In the study of nurses with breast cancer, having a spouse wasn’t associated with survival.

While many friendship studies focus on the intense relationships of women, some research shows that men can benefit, too. In a six-year study of 736 middle-age Swedish men, attachment to a single person didn’t appear to affect the risk of heart attack and fatal coronary heart disease, but having friendships did. Only smoking was as important a risk factor as lack of social support.

Last year, researchers studied 34 students at the University of Virginia, taking them to the base of a steep hill and fitting them with a weighted backpack. They were then asked to estimate the steepness of the hill. Some participants stood next to friends during the exercise, while others were alone.

The students who stood with friends gave lower estimates of the steepness of the hill. And the longer the friends had known each other, the less steep the hill appeared.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/21/health/21well.html?_r=2&em
-----

1992年12期《Psychology Today》就朋友間最重要和很重要的品質進行調查，結果如下：
保持信任 89%
忠誠 88%
熱誠/友情 82%
支持 76%
坦率 75%
幽默感 74%
願化時間相處62%

Psychology Today (12/92) surveys respondents on what qualities are “most important” or “very important” in a friend:
Keeps confidences - 89%
Loyalty - 88%
Warmth, affection - 82%
Supportiveness - 76%
Frankness - 75%
Sense of humor - 74%
Willingness to make time for me – 62%
-----

有一次，倫敦一家報紙舉辦猜猜看的有獎徵答，題目是：「到倫敦最短的捷徑是什麼？」，可想而知，信件如雪花一般紛至，各種不同的理論百家爭鳴，而讀者也緊緊盯著這些理論，直到報社公佈他們的得獎答案。得獎的答案是：「到倫敦最短的捷徑是路上有一個好的伴侶同行」，因為不論路途有多遠，只要有一個知心的伴侶同行，就算千山萬水也像近在眼前」。
-----

Quotes引證 :
He removes the greatest ornament of friendship who takes away from it respect. Cicero.

So long as we love we serve;
So long as we are loved by others
I would almost say that we are indispensable;
And no man is useless while he has a friend.
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)

最好的朋友就是他把最好的給我。
My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me. Henry Ford

在向朋友借錢之前，先想清楚你更需要什麼。
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.

朋友在你生活中好比柱廊上的支柱。有時他們支撐你，有時他們仰賴你。
Friends in your life are like pillars on your porch. Sometimes they hold you up and sometimes they lean on you. Elizabeth Foley

印地安人說：二人間的友誼靠一方的忍耐維系。
Friendship between two persons depends upon the patience of one. Indian saying

客僅三日新，魚僅三日腥。
Fish and visitors smell in three days. Benjamin Franklin

讓那些不會孤獨的人了解什麽是團體，讓那些不在團體中的人了解什麽是個人獨處。
Let him who cannot be alone beware of community . . . . Let him who is not in community beware of being alone . Dietrich Bonhoeffer

每位個體都有難以自拔的陷阱和危險。尋求沒有孤獨的夥伴關系的人，就會陷入空虛的言語和感情，那些尋求沒有同伴的孤獨的人，就會在空虛、愚蠢和絕望的深淵中敗壞腐朽。
Each by itself has profound pitfalls and perils. One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings, and one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of vanity, self infatuation, and despair. Dietrich Bonhoeffer

如果你想四處逢源，必須使瞎子也喜歡你。
If you want to be popular, live so that a blind person would like you.

Giving 奉獻，Goals 目標，God 神，Government 政府，Greed 貪心

2007-11-18T23:56:00.003-08:00

GIVING 奉獻
Taiwan heroine pours heart out to world
Aussies say "no thanks" to 20 million Christmas gifts
SYDNEY - How many unwanted gifts did you get under the Christmas tree? If you're Australian, the number is likely to be more than one, amounting to a nationwide total of 20 million "useless" presents, according to a survey.

The survey, commissioned by online marketplace eBay, found that although Australians spent A$8.5 billion ($7.5 billion) buying gifts this Christmas, at least A$1 billion worth of these presents will either be left to gather dust in a cupboard, binned, regifted, exchanged or sold.

Examples of unwanted gifts ranged from underwear, socks, bath products and inappropriately sexual items to a tandoori spice rub for chicken given to a vegetarian and a dog bowl for a dogless recipient, a brick and cellulite cream, an eBay statement said.

The eBay survey of more than 1,200 people also found that more women than men received unwanted gifts this year, while youth aged between 18 and 24 years got the most unwanted presents, which they were likely to throw out or hide away.

An earlier survey showed that more than 825,000 gifts will go straight into the garbage bin in Australia this Christmas because their recipients just hated them.

With Australia's economy still battling to shake off the effects of the global financial crisis, more than a third of Australians had planned to spend less on Christmas gifts this year, compared with the previous year, according to a recent survey by the Melbourne Institute and Westpac Bank.
-----

Poll: In bad times, folks find ways to help
USA TODAY
As the recession deepened, more Americans volunteered their time to churches and other religious charities. Almost four in 10 Americans say they volunteered at a church or other religious organization in the past 12 months, according to a USA TODAY/Gallup Poll.
In September 2008, three in 10 had volunteered with a religious charity. The weak economy and rising unemployment did not keep Americans from donating money to their churches or other favorite charities. The national telephone poll of 1,053 adults, conducted Sept. 22-23, found that 53% of Americans gave money to a religious organization and 66% gave to other charities. The poll has a margin of error of +/-4 percentage points. The percentage donating money was almost the same 12 months earlier, when 52% said they gave to religious groups and 65% said they gave to other charities. Four out of 10 Americans say they volunteered time to a non-religious charity. On average, those who donate to religious charities give $1,858 a year, she says. Those who give to secular charities give an average $941 a year. Religious charities are seeing an increase in volunteerism among younger and older people. Thirty-six percent of those 18 to 29 say they volunteered with a religious organization in the past 12 months, compared with 23% a year earlier. (Excerpt)
-----

有一位吝嗇的基督徒，對傳教士呼籲捐獻感到惱怒，有天他火大的對傳教士說︰「牧師，聖經不是宣告生命之水是免費的，恩典也不需付錢？」「是的」牧師回答「但它需要管子將水送到人那裡，而管子需要錢」

A tightfisted Christian, annoyed by the appeals of his preacher for funds, burst out one day, “Pastor, doesn’t the Bible declare that the water of life is free, that grace is without money?” “Yes,” replied the preacher, “but it takes pipes to channel the water to the people, and pipes cost money.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 520)
-----

一個在紐約州的農場是一個池塘和一條小溪流。當我最後看見他們時，正是雨季，兩者都充滿乾淨，純淨的水，甚至水因太滿以至於漲到岸邊。而在乾季，他們的不同就顯露出來。這條溪，仍然沿著原來路線流水，保持純淨並且閃耀；繼續從地下湧流並且自由地繼續流下去。而這個池塘，既無水入也無水出，儲存它的寶貴的水分只讓它的水成為污濁和停滯。我們的主試圖教他的門徒相同的功課︰我們透過給出去而獲得卻因保留而失去。在分享神的憐憫之後，得以保持和增加我們自己的純潔，我們在這樣豐富裡得到神的平安以致於向在我們的周遭它溢出。

On a farm in New York state is a pond and a little brook. When I last saw them, it was in the rainy season, and both were full to the brim with clean, pure water. It is in the dry season the difference in their natures shows up. The stream, constantly flowing to water the banks all along its course, still keeps pure and sparkling; it continues to draw from the underground springs at its source and to give freely as it goes along. The pond, neither receiving nor giving, hoards its precious moisture only to have its waters become foul and stagnant. It is the same lesson our Lord was trying to teach His disciples: We gain by giving and lose by keeping. After sharing the mercy of God and thus maintaining and increasing our own purity, we receive the peace of God in such abundance that it overflows to all around us. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 262)
-----

蘇格拉底有一位可靠的僕人，常看見別人給他主人禮物，有一天他對蘇格拉底說︰主人，我沒什麼其他的可給你的，現在我將自己給你。蘇格拉底看見僕人的熱心就說「好，我要如此作」。他先給僕人禮物，又提升他的僕人成為眾僕人之首，他有一天打電話給僕人並且說︰「我現下給你的比我從你得到的更好」。

Socrates had a trusted servant who, seeing others giving presents to his master, came to him one day and said, “Because I have nothing else to give you, Master, I here give you myself.” Socrates saw the earnestness of the servant and said, “Do so.” After bestowing upon him gifts, and advancing him to the head of his servants, he called him one day and said, “I now give you back to yourself better than when I received you.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 283)
-----

一位剛信主者宣佈他的決心，奉獻一切給主。他說，"牧師，如果我有五十頭豬，我會給主耶穌二十五頭。"牧師說："非常好"。"如果你有三十頭你會給主十五頭嗎？""當然我會，"他說。"如果你有十頭你會給主五頭嗎？？"牧師再問。"你知道我會的"他回答。然後牧師說："是否你有兩個，你給主一頭呢？""牧師，不要這樣問我，你知道我只有兩頭豬。（

A new convert declared his determination to give all that he had for the Master. He said, “Pastor, if I had fifty pigs, I'd give twenty-five of them to the Lord.” “That's very nice,” said the pastor. “If you had thirty would you give fifteen to the Lord?” “Of course I would,” said the new Christian. “If you had ten would you give five of them?” asked the pastor again. “You know I would,” he answered. Then the pastor said, “If you had two, would you give one to the Lord?” “Now Pastor, don't ask me that. You know I have only two pigs.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 263)
-----

一間衰弱、老舊的教會建築需要重新裝修，因此傳道者做了一個激動的呼籲，並且雙眼直視著整個小鎮裡最有錢的那個人。信息結束後，那位有錢人站起來並且宣佈，「牧師，我要貢獻一千塊。」就在此時，一塊灰泥從天花板上掉下來，砸在那位有錢人士的肩膀上。他立刻站起來且大聲喊著說，「牧師，我要增加我的捐獻到五千元。」在他坐下之前，一塊灰泥又掉到他身上，他又一次竭力的喊著說，「牧師，我要把我剛才的捐獻金額變成兩倍。」他坐下之後，更大一片的灰泥落在他的頭上。他再一次站起來吼叫，「牧師，我決定奉獻兩萬元。」這情況促使一位職事也立即大喊著說，「再擊打他，主阿，再擊打他一次吧！」

The crumbling, old church building needed remodeling, so the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest man in town. At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and announced, “Pastor, I will contribute $1,000.” Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder. He promptly stood again and shouted, “Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000.” Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again, and again he virtually screamed, “Pastor, I will double my last pledge.” He sat down, and an larger chunk of plaster fell hitting him on the head. He stood once more and hollered, “Pastor, I will give $20,000!” This prompted a deacon to shout, “Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!”
-----

在星期三晚上教會的聚會，一個非常富有的人站起來要講他的見證，他說:我是一個百萬富翁。在我的生命當中，我因奉獻所有得到神極大的祝福。我一直記得，這是我信心的轉捩點。就好像發生在昨天一般。
當我才剛賺到第一塊錢時，那晚我參加教會的聚會。那晚的講員是一位宣教士。他講有關於他事奉的工作。我知道我只有一塊錢，是要全部給出去為神的工作或完全不給。在那個時刻，我決定把整個一塊錢給神。我相信神祝福我的決定，所以今天我成為一個富有的人。
當他做完見證時，每個人都被這個人的見證所感動。但是當他坐下時，一個身材矮小的老婦人坐在同排，傾斜的看著他說:很奇特美好的故事，你敢再冒一次險嗎？
-----

彼底和拉利已有許多年沒有相見了。因此，他們想要長談彼此的生活，爲了嘗試去彌補那些年來彼此交往的空白。最後，彼底邀請拉利去參觀他的新公寓。他說：「我已有一個妻子和三個小孩，我很樂意您來探望我們。」
「非常好。您們住在那裏？」
「這是地址。在公寓的后邊那裏擁有足夠的停車位。停放您的車，然後延着路走向前門，用腳將門踢開，走向電梯並用您的左肘按鈕，然後走進電梯！當您到達第六樓時，沿着廊道一直走，直到在門口上看到我的名字。接着，使用您的右肘按門鈴，我就會請您進來。」
「很好。但是告訴我….爲什麽這些將前門踢開、按電梯鈕的事情，都要用到我左右肘呢？」
「當然，因您該不會是空手來的吧！」

Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives. Finally Pete invited Larry to visit him in his new apartment. “I got a wife and three kids and I'd love to have you visit us.”
“Great. Where do you live?”
“Here's the address. And there's plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter! When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I'll let you in.”
“Good. But tell me...what is all this business of kicking the front door open, then pressing elevator buttons with my right, then my left elbow?”
“Surely, you're not coming empty-handed.”
-----

有一個農夫和他的寵物狗，孤單地住在愛爾蘭的鄉下，它的狗最後死了，農夫於是到教區神父那請求是否可以為狗做彌撒，神父說；『不，我們沒有為動物的服務。但離這不遠的地方，有個新教派，說不定他們會有瓣法。』

農夫對神父說；『我會去問問，但是你想想如果我奉獻五萬塊錢夠不夠用作這樣的彌撒儀式？』神父說；『你怎麼不早說，你的狗是天主教徒呢？』

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with a pet dog he doted on. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the Parish priest and asked if the priest would say a mass for the animal. Father Patrick replied, “No, we cannot have services for an animal in the church, but there's a new denomination down the road, no telling what they believe, but maybe they'll do something for the animal.”

Muldoon said, “I'll go right now. Do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?” Father Patrick asked, “Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?”
-----

有人問基督教徒，天主教徒和猶太教徒關於十一奉獻。
基督徒說:我一定奉獻10分之一，有時還更多一些。天主徒說:我將我所需用的先取出來，其餘的我全數交給教會。
猶太教徒說:我把鈔票撒向天空，凡是神所要的，祂就取去，剩下來掉在地上的。就歸我。

When the Baptist, Catholic, and Jew were asked how they tithed.

The Baptist replied, “Ten percent of my earnings right off the top and sometimes I give an offering of more.”

The Catholic said, “I take what I need and give the rest to the church.”

Then the Jew stated, “I throw it all up into the air. What ever God wants, he takes. What ever comes back down, is mine.”
-----

小明和母親一同參加主日崇拜的時候，忽然覺得想嘔吐。

『媽，我想嘔吐！』

媽媽告訴他，﹕『趕快跑到外面去。跑到草坪那邊的樹叢後面。你可以在那裏嘔吐，沒人會看見的。』

小明快跑出門。還不到一分鐘，他回到媽媽身旁。他臉上表情舒服多了。

『小明，你有沒有跑到樹叢那邊？』

『媽，我不需要跑那麼遠。我跑到前門就看到一個箱子，上面寫著”為軟弱病痛者”。』

Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt wave of nausea hit him.

“Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!”

She told him, “I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you.”

So Little Johnny runs as fast as he can, out the door. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. He had the look of obvious relief on his young face.

“Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Little Johnny?”

“I didn't have to go that far, mom. Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it that said 'For the Sick.'“
-----

當牧師奧微爾接起了電話，對方傳來稅務員的聲音：
「喂！是牧師奧微爾嗎？」

「是的，」牧師說。

稅務員說：「我打電話是想知道，你的會友有一位叫施伯醫生的嗎？」

「喔！我知道，他是我的會友沒有錯，你想知道什麼事嗎？」牧師說。

稅務員說：「是這樣的，在去年的報稅單上，他說奉獻了一筆數目很大的錢給教會，他想減免這筆錢的稅。他真奉獻了這筆錢嗎？」

牧師說：「我必須去問我們的財務負責人，將他的資料找出來看，才能回答你這個問題。不過，他說他到底奉獻了多少？」

「兩萬五千元。」稅務員說：「你能告訴我這是真的嗎？」

牧師停頓了好一陣子，然後說：「這樣罷，你明天再打電話給我，我會告訴你這是真的。」

When Pastor Ovall picked up the phone, Special Agent Struzik from the IRS was on the line.

“Hello, Pastor Ovall?”

“Yes, this is.”

“I'm calling to inquire about a member of your congregation, a Dr. Shipe. Do you recognize the name?”

“Yes, he is a member of our congregation. How can I be of service?”

“Well, on last year's tax return, the doctor claimed that he made a sizable tax-deductable contribution to your church? Is it true?”

“Well, I'll have to have my bookkeeper verify this information for you. How much did Dr. Shipe say he contributed?”

“Twenty five thousand dollars,” answered Agent Struzik. “Can you tell me if that's true?”

There is a long pause. “I'll tell you what,” replied Pastor Ovall, “Call back tomorrow. I'm sure it will be.”
-----

一張一美元的鈔票遇見一張20美元的鈔票並且說，「喂，你一直在哪兒呢？我很久都沒有在周圍看見你了。」

這20 元美鈔回答說，「我常常在娛樂場，豪華客輪並且周游世界，並且剛剛回到美國，又參加了兩場棒球比賽，再到商業區轉了一圈兒，就這些吧。你怎么樣？」

一美元的鈔票說，「你知道，都是老地方︰教堂，教堂，教堂。」
-----

在美國南方一間教會的黑人牧師講道很有能力，當他講到以賽亞書40章這段聖經時，他向會眾說：「各位兄姊，這間教會需要開始走。」下面一位執事回應說：「阿們！」牧師繼續說：「各位兄姊，這間教會需要用跑的。」這位執事又回應說：「哈利路亞！」，最後，牧師說：「各位兄姊，這間教會需要用飛的。」這位執事更大聲回應說：「阿們！哈利路亞！」然而，牧師說：「教會若要用飛的，就要付代價，花一些錢。」這位執事在下面回答說：「那我們還是用走的。」

A one dollar bill met a 20 dollar bill and said, “Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much.”

The twenty answered, “I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?”

The one dollar bill said, “You know, same old stuff: church, church, church.”
-----

Quotes引證 :
一個人的心比他們的銀行帳戶的規模大小要做更多慷慨的事情。
Generosity has more to do with the size of a person’s heart than the size of their bank account.

**********************************************************

GOALS 目標
永不停止追求卓越
超越存在--生存.
超越接觸—感受.
超越看見—觀察.
超越閱讀--吸收.
超越聽到--聆聽.
超越聆聽—了解.

Never stop reaching for more
Do more than exist-live.
Do more than touch-feel.
Do more than look-Observe.
Do more than .read-absorb.
Do more than hear-listen.
Do more than listen-understand.
John H.Rhoades
-----

在管理學的經典著作(生根建造)( Built to Last)這本書裡，作者說了一段耐人尋
味的故事叫「黑帶的故事」 o其中說到一個練武的學生，在辛苦學習多年之後終於得到黑帶的榮譽。富他跪在他的老師面前準備接受那象徵結業的黑帶時，他的老師說。在你獲頒這條黑帶之前，你還得通過一項考驗」。你必須回答這個問題：「這黑帶的真正意義是什麼？」這個學生回答說：「它象徵一個段落，是我辛勞學習的肯定與回報」。老師回答道：「這樣看來你還沒畢業呢！一年之後再來見我」。一年之後那個學生又回來跪在老師面前，老師依舊問道：「這黑帶的真正意義是什麼？」這次，這個學生回答說：「是一個榮譽的象徵，它代表本門武術的最高成就」o老師又一次回答：「你還是不配得到這條黑帶，回去吧！一年之後再回來」。一年之後，這個學生在一次回來跪在老師面前等著接受黑帶的授與。老師一樣在問他：「這黑帶的真正意義是什麼？」最後，這個學生終於令老師滿意地回答說：「黑帶代表一個開始，是一個永不停止的學習、努力，以及向更高的標準挑戰的開始」。
-----

行百里者半九十
《戰國策》
這句成語是說，走百里的人，應該要走到九十里時才可以認為自己已走
了一半路。比喻做事情，以最後階段最重要，而且愈到最後愈要小心，在完
成之前千萬不可鬆懈，否則就功虧一簣了。

有一則故事說到，一位老樵夫教徒弟爬樹。不管弟子爬到多高，作師父
的多不出聲，既沒叫他小心，也不叫他留意。一直到小徒弟爬完了，快要到
地面時，他才說了一句：「留心了」！旁人看了覺得很訝異：「為什麼你在
徒弟都快爬完了，才叫他小心呢？在他最危險的時候，你怎麼反而靜默無聲
呢？」

「因為人愈到最後愈容易鬆懈，愈是在他認為萬無一失的時候，往往也
就是他最容易疏忽的時候。」老師父說。
-----

三百年前，引發美國大覺醒的愛德華滋( Jonathan Edwards, 1703-58) ，曾在兩年內寫下七十條決心誓詞為要戰勝世界、肉體與邪惡。他寫這些誓詞時年僅十九歲，雖然他當時與其他和他一樣年紀的孩子都面對世俗的誘惑，但他卻顯得相當成熟穩重，十二年後，大覺醒就在這位屬靈的偉人手下展開。以下摘錄其中十條最
短的誓詞：
1. 決心只要還有一口氣在就好好活著。
2. 決心即使生命只剩最後一小時，也不作任何使自已遺憾的事。
3. 決心在感到痛苦時就想想殉道者所受的苦。
4. 決心留意尋找愛心、慈善幫助的對象。
5. 決心不作任何報復行動。
6. 決心不向不講理的人花一絲一毫的脾氣。
7. 決心時時刻刻按良心過活。
8. 決心在飲食上保持高度的節制。
9. 決心排除任何對信心有礙的事物。
10. 決心在言語上保持誠實
-----

Quotes引證 :
The man who moved mountains began by carrying away small stones.

人最糟糕的是有沒有目標。試想像一下，你在早上起床，你什麼也不做。你在這一分鐘做你喜歡的事，但下一分鐘呢？下次你做什麼工作呢？其實你能奉獻你的整個生命，我們可以使用我同的生命的特有素質，在某處實現在一些有益的事上。
The worst is to have no target. Imagine you get up in the morning and you do nothing. You enjoy one minute. Then there is another minute. But what do you do next? Can you dedicate your whole life to this? Somewhere within us is the desire to feel that we are useful and that we have some quality. Arsene Wenger

**********************************************************

GOD 神
美聯社
2009年12月22日
以色列拿撒勒報—一批考古學家週一公佈，他們發現拿撒勒第一個住所的遺址可追溯至耶穌時代。新約聖經記述耶穌孩童時曾住在當地；這個發現對了解當時村落的模樣提供了新線索。在岩洞中發現該遺址和附近較早前發現的墓穴，顯示拿撒勒是一條偏遠的村落，四英畝土地上約有五十所房屋。以色列古物管理局發掘總監，考古學家亞歷山大表示，這顯然是低收入猶太人，為避過羅馬侵略者而偽裝成岩洞的住處。

The Associated Press
December 22, 2009
NAZARETH, Israel - Archaeologists on Monday unveiled what they said were the remains of the first dwelling in Nazareth that can be dated back to the time of Jesus -- a find that could shed new light on what the hamlet was like during the period the New Testament says Jesus lived there as a boy.The dwelling and older discoveries of nearby tombs in burial caves suggest that Nazareth was an out-of-the-way hamlet of around 50 houses on a patch of about four acres. It was evidently populated by Jews of modest means who kept camouflaged grottos to hide from Roman invaders, said archaeologist Yardena Alexandre, excavations director at the Israel Antiquities Authority.

House Uncovered in Nazareth Dating to the Time of Jesus
-----

在一個天主教國小裡，孩子們在自助餐前排隊拿午餐，桌子最前面放了一大堆一大堆蘋果。修女貼了張紙在這個蘋果托盤上︰只能拿一個，神正在看。沿著這條午餐線更進一步移動，在桌子的另一個端是一大堆巧克力餅乾。一個孩子寫著︰愛拿多少隨便你，神正看蘋果。

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
-----

有一天我求神教導我如何在地上生活，神靠近我的耳朵對我說︰要像太陽一樣早起，也不要太晚睡；像月亮一樣在夜間發光並順服更大的光；像鳥一般，能吃、唱歌、喝、飛翔；向花一樣雖愛太陽卻忠於自己的根源；像一隻忠誠的狗，卻只忠於你的主；像水果一般，有漂亮的外表，也有健康的內涵，而以上所有，就像天堂︰為神預備的家。

One day I asked God
One day I asked God for instructionsOn how to live on this earth...
God brought His voice close to my earand said…
Be like the sun; Arise early, and do not go to bed late.
Be like the moon; Shine in the darkness,but submit to the greater light.
Be like the birds.Eat, sing, drink, and fly.
Be like the flowers,Loving the sun, but faithful to your roots.
Be like the faithful dog, but only to your Lord.
Be like the fruit.Beautiful on the outside,and healthy on the inside.
And above all things,be like the heavens:A home for God.
-----

當初，鉛筆製造者曾對鉛筆說，"在我派你進入世界之前，你需要知道五件事…?並且永遠記住，你就會成為最棒的鉛筆。"
第一：你可以做許多了不起的事，條件是你必須讓別人握著你。
第二步：您會不斷的被人削減，但這是讓你成為更好鉛筆的必經之途。
第三：你有能力更正任何自己可能犯的錯誤。
第四：你最重要的一部分永遠在你自己裡面。
第五：無論什麼狀況發生，你必須繼續寫下去。無論多麼艱難，你必須一直留下一個清晰、易讀的標記。
鉛筆了解後，答應一定會記住，懷著充分明白製造者意旨的心走進販售盒裡。現在換成你；永遠記住鉛筆所記得的，永遠不要忘記，你也可以變成最棒的。

In the beginning, the Pencil Maker spoke to the pencil saying,“There are five things you need to know before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and you will become the best pencil you can be.”
First: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in Someone’s hand.
Second: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but this is required if you want to become a better pencil.
Third: You have the ability to correct any mistakes you might make.
Fourth: The most important part of you will always be what’s inside.
Fifth: No matter what the condition, you must continue to write. You must always leave a clear, legible mark no matter how difficult the situation.
The pencil understood, promising to remember, and went into the box fully understanding its Maker’s purpose.Now replacing the place of the pencil with you; always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.
-----

當羅伯特歐文，臭名昭著的自由思想家訪問亞歷山大坎貝爾安排預賽的大討論，就是要跟隨，他們在農場四處走動，直到他們到了家庭掩埋地下。「有一個優勢，我有基督徒，」吹噓歐文先生。「我不怕死。大多數基督徒都懼怕死亡，但是，如果我有幾個項目的業務獲得解決，我樂意在任何時候死去。」「嗯，」坎貝爾先生回答說，「你說你不害怕死亡;你有沒有希望在死嗎？」「沒有，先生說：」歐文經過深思熟慮的停頓。「那麼，」坎貝爾先生說，指著一牛站在附近，「你是在一個水平上的動物。他吃了，直到他滿意了，在樹蔭下攪拌站關閉蒼蠅，既不希望，也不懼怕死亡。」

When Robert Owen, the notorious freethinker, visited Alexander Campbell to arrange the preliminaries for the great debate that was to follow, they walked about the farm till they came to the family burying ground. “There is one advantage I have over the Christian,” boasted Mr. Owen. “I am not afraid to die. Most Christians have fear in death, but, if some few items of my business were settled, I should be perfectly willing to die at any moment.” “Well,” replied Mr. Campbell, “you say you have no fear in death; have you any hope in death?” “No,” said Mr. Owen after a thoughtful pause. “Then,” said Mr. Campbell, pointing to an ox standing nearby, “you are on a level with that animal. He has eaten till he is satisfied, stands in the shade whisking off the flies, and has neither hope nor fear in death.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 854)
-----

過去的最大的無神論者之一是羅伯特 • G.英格索爾。雖是無神論，他仍有一位著名的牧師朋友亨利‧華德‧畢查。牧師的研究中，有一個由一些製造商致贈、精心設計的地球球體。此精緻工藝品上方有還有其他的星群。這個球體激發了英格索爾的好奇心，一天他拜訪他的牧師朋友，他一面旋轉一面讚嘆著說："這正是我想要的！"是誰做的？””你說誰製造的？上校？"亨利反問他。"你說誰做這個球體？哪有甚麼人做它？他是突然出現的啦！"

One of the greatest atheists of the past was Robert G. Ingersoll. In spite of his atheism, he had for a friend the famous preacher, Henry Ward Beecher. In the preacher’s study was an elaborate celestial globe which had been sent him with the compliments of some manufacturer. On the surface in delicate workmanship were raised figures of the constellations and stars which composed them. The globe struck Ingersoll’s fancy one day when he was visiting the preacher. He turned it around and around with admiration. “That is just what I want,” he said, “Who made it?” “Who made it, do you say, Colonel?” repeated Beecher. “Who made this globe? Why nobody, of course. It just happened.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 863)
-----

一個生來瞎眼的男孩經歷一次手術以重建他的視力，視力的恢復很緩慢，有一天母親帶他到戶外未遮住他的眼睛，男孩第一次看到雲和地球，男孩哭了，對母親說︰媽媽﹗為何你從未告訴我世界如此美麗？母親忍住淚水說︰我試著告訴你，但你仍然無法明白。

A little boy who had been born blind underwent an operation to restore his sight. The light was let in slowly. Then one day his mother led him out of doors and uncovered his eyes, and for the first time he saw the sky and earth. “O Mother!” he cried, “Why didn’t you tell me it was so beautiful?” She burst into tears and said, “I tried to tell you, dear, but you could not understand me.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 871)
-----

有兩個人被派去調查某區的地表是否蘊藏鐵，其中一位是科學家和礦物學家，他知道自己的有限，就帶著一些探測工具去，另一位輕浮自大的人則說︰我只相信我所見的，我看不見的我就不信。他快速走片這片地然後說︰鐵？太荒謬了，我沒看到鐵，沒有鐵在這裡。他並將它的說法寫在報告上。另一個人他不相信他眼所見的而專注在探測儀器上，這探測針顯示有豐富的鐵蘊藏在這片土地上，所以他在他的報告上寫著︰我的眼睛看不見，但是我的磁鐵認出它。

Two men were sent to check a rumor that iron lay beneath the surface of a certain piece of ground. One, a scientist and mineralogist, conscious of his own limitations, took along some instruments. The other, a buoyant, self-confident individual, said, “I believe what I can see; and what I can’t see I won’t believe.” He walked rapidly over the field and said, “Iron? Nonsense! I see no iron; there is no iron here.” And that is what he stated in his report. The other man did not trust his eye at all but looked at his instruments. The needle on one pointed to the fact that a rich deposit of iron did lie beneath the earth’s surface. As he made his report he said, “My eye couldn’t see it, but my magnet discerned it.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 872)
-----

第二世紀時，有一個基督教來到異教徒統治著前面，要他放棄他的信仰。"如果你不這樣做，我要把你放逐。"國王威脅他。男子笑著回答他："你無法把我從基督裡驅除出去，因為祂說，'我永不離開你，也不撇棄你。 '"國王生氣地反駁，"然後我充公你的財產，並把你所有的土的沒收。那人笑了笑又說，"我的財富都在上面，你拿不到它們。"王瘋狂地叫道，"我會殺了你！""為什麼，"那人回答說，"我已經死了四十年；我已經與基督同死，向世界死了，我的生命與基督一同藏在神裡面，你碰不到它。"絕望的國王回頭問他的顧問們："這傢伙狂熱到這個地步，你們還能做什甚麼呢？"

In the second century, a Christian was brought before a pagan ruler and told to renounce his faith. “If you don’t do it, I will banish you,” threatened the king. The man smiled and answered, “You can’t banish me from Christ, for He says, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ “ To this the king angrily retorted, “Then I will confiscate your property and take all your possessions.” Again the man smiled and said, “My treasures are all laid up on high; you cannot get them.” The king became furious and shouted, “I will kill you!” “Why,” the man answered, “I have been dead forty years; I have been dead with Christ, dead to the world, and my life is hid with Christ in God, and you cannot touch it.” In desperation the king turned to his advisers and asked, “What can you do with a fanatic like that?” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 831)
-----

復活之時，有個年輕人說他不想成為基督徒。問他原因，他回答：多年以前，我在一個人的廚房內。他發現我，就詛咒我並且把我踢出去。他自稱是基督教徒，從那以後我決定決不與宗教有關。一直到今天我從未信過。這年輕人被要求完全寫下他不信的原因並且簽署它。之後這張紙被交還給他並附帶一句話：你在審判的日子被詢問關於的你的理由，你就交上這張紙。

During a revival a young man said that he did not wish to become a Christian. When asked for his reason, he replied, “Several years ago I was in a man’s kitchen. Finding me there, he swore at me and kicked me out. He was a professing Christian, and from that time on I decided never to have anything to do with religion. And I never have to this day.” The young man was asked to write down his reason in full and sign it. Then it was handed back to him with the words, “Take this, and when you are asked for your excuse on the day of judgment, hand this up.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 838)
-----

傳教士遇見一位他未曾見過的原住民，就問他：你聽過福音嗎？「不」他回答，「但我已經看見它。我知道這附近有個人過去很可怕，他吸鴉片而且像野獸一樣危險。但是他已完全改變。他現在很溫和並且已經停止吸鴉片。

A missionary approached a native whom he had not seen before and asked, “Have you ever heard the gospel?” “No,” he replied, “but I have seen it. I know a man who used to be the terror of the neighborhood. He was a bad opium smoker and as dangerous as a wild beast. But he became completely changed. He is now gentle and good and has left off opium.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 669)
-----

教會中的一位執事問一位將受洗的年輕人：你何時尋得基督為你的救主？年輕人回答：不是我找到他；是他找到我。

A young man who presented himself as a candidate for baptism was asked by one of the deacons when he had found Christ as his Savior. “I didn’t find Him; He found me,” was the reply. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 634)
-----

有個關於米開朗基羅的故事，他是著名的義大利雕刻師，畫家和詩人，一次他站在已經被建築者拒絕並且被丟到一旁的一大塊大理石之前。因為他站在那裡眼睛凝視大理石雕刻品，一位朋友接近並且問他正看什麼。「天使」他回答。他瞭解那塊拒絕的石頭需要木槌，鑿刀和耐心的技巧。他開始工作並且鑿出他的一件傑作。同樣，神在我們裡看見可能性。

It is related that Michelangelo , the famous Italian sculptor, painter, and poet, once stood before a great block of marble that had been rejected by builders and cast aside. As he stood there with eyes staring straight at the marble, a friend approached and asked what he was looking at. “An angel,” came the reply. He saw what the mallet, the chisel, and patient skill could do with that rejected stone. He set to work and produced one of his masterpieces. Likewise, God sees possibilities in us. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 636)
-----

有人問奧古斯汀在天堂被建立之前，神在那裡？奧古斯汀回答：在祂自己裡面。他的確只是自有擁有者，因為他是唯一無限者。而當路德被問相同的問題歲當時，他回答：神正在建造偶像﹑驕傲和像你一樣好奇者的地獄。

Someone asked Augustine where God was before the heavens were created. Augustine replied, “He was in Himself.” He is indeed that only self-contained Being; for He is the only Infinite One. And when Luther was asked the same question, he answered, “He was creating hell for idle, proud, and inquisitive spirits like you.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 602)
-----

有一天，當一位牧師坐在他的教堂的辦公室裡接見任何有屬靈的困難的人，當天只有一個人來。「你的困難是什麼？」牧師問。那人回答：「我的困難是羅馬書第九章，在那裡它說，「雅各我喜歡，以掃是我所恨惡的」」。牧師說：「這節的確不容易瞭解；但是哪個部分對你來說是難的？」「當然是後面部分」那個人說：「我不能理解神為什麼憎惡以掃？」牧師回答：「這節經常令人費解，但是我一直以來的困難是這節的第一部分，我從未理解神怎麼能喜歡那個詭計多端，欺騙，奪人長子之名的無賴雅各。

One day, as a minister sat in the office of his church to meet anyone who might have spiritual difficulties, only one person came. “What is your difficulty?” asked the minister. The man answered, “My difficulty is the ninth chapter of Romans, where it says, 'Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.'“ “Yes,” said the minister, “there is great difficulty in that verse; but which part of the verse is difficult for you?” “The latter part, of course,” said the man. “I cannot understand why God should hate Esau.” The minister replied, “The verse has often been difficult, but my difficulty has always been with the first part of the verse. I never could understand how God could love that wily, deceitful, supplanting scoundrel Jacob.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 313)
-----

主教貝弗裡奇為神的自稱，"我是"提出了一個很棒的例證。"祂不說，我是他們的光、他們的導引、他門的力量，或他門的城堡，只說 “我是”。'"祂擺了一個填空，讓祂的兒女照祂們喜歡的填寫。如同祂說：他們軟弱嗎？我是力量。他們貧窮嗎？我是富有的。他們碰到困難嗎？我是安慰者。他們生病嗎？我是醫治。他們面臨死亡嗎？我是生命。他們什麼都沒有嗎？我擁有一切。我是智慧與能力。我是正義與憐憫。我是恩典與良善。我是榮耀、美麗、聖潔、崇高、卓越、完善、全然自足，永恆。無論在本質上是可親近的，或渴望得著，我是自有永有的。無論是純淨或神聖、偉大或愉悅，良善或是快樂所必須的，我仍是自有永有的。

Bishop Beveridge gave a wonderful illustration of one of the names by which God has chosen to call Himself, “I AM”: “He does not say, I am their light, their guide, their strength, or tower, but only 'I AM.' He sets, as it were, His hands to a blank, that His people may write under it what they pleased that is good for them. As if He should say: Are they weak? I am strength. Are they poor? I am riches. Are they in trouble? I am comfort. Are they sick? I am health. Are they dying? I am life. Have they nothing? I am all things. I am wisdom and power. I am justice and mercy. I am grace and goodness. I am glory, beauty, holiness, eminency, supereminency, perfection, all-sufficiency, eternity. Jehovah, I am. Whatever is amiable in itself, or desirable unto them, that I am. Whatsoever is pure and holy, whatsoever is great or pleasant, whatsoever is good or needful to make men happy, that I am.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 301)
-----

特拉皇帝對約書亞拉比說："你說你的上帝無處不在，又吹噓祂住在你的國家裡；我想見見他。""上帝的確到處存在著，"約書亞回答"，但他無法被看見。沒有任何肉眼可以看見他的榮耀。"皇帝卻一直堅持"好，"約書亞說："我們試試看先來一下祂特使的其中之一。"皇帝同意。拉比正午帶皇帝到戶外，請他注視太陽的光芒。特拉皇帝說："我做不到"。陽光使我眼花撩亂。"說約書亞，""你連神所造其中一個受造物的光芒都無法忍受，還想要看造物主光輝嗎？祂榮耀的光豈不正能消滅你嗎？"

“You teach,” said the Emperor Trajan to Rabbi Joshua, “that your God is everywhere, and boast that He resides among your nation; I should like to see Him.” “God's presence is indeed everywhere,” replied Joshua, “but He cannot be seen. No mortal eye can behold His glory.” The Emperor insisted. “Well,” said Joshua “suppose we try to look first at one of His ambassadors.” The Emperor consented. The Rabbi took him into the open air at noonday and bade him look at the sun in its blazing splendor. “I cannot,” said Trajan. “The light dazzles me.” “You are unable,” said Joshua, “to endure the light of one of His creatures, and can you expect to behold the resplendent glory of the Creator? Would not the brightness of His glory annihilate you?” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 305)
-----

初代教父屈梭多模是真正表現出基督徒勇氣的好例子。當他站在羅馬皇帝面前時，他遭受到被放逐的威脅，如果他繼續作一個基督徒。屈梭多模說："你無法真正把我放逐，因為天地都是我父親的家。"

"但我會殺了你，"皇帝說。

"不，你不能，"再度表現崇高的信心："因為我的生命與基督一同藏在上帝裡面。"
"我將採取走你的財富"。"不，你不能，"繼續反駁，"放在第一位，我有什麼你根本不知道。我的財富在天上，我的心也在那兒"。

"但我會帶你離開所有的人，你會完全沒有朋友。""不，你不能，"信心的見證再一次說話，"我有一個朋友在天上，是你所無法隔離的。我不在乎你，因為你完全無法傷害我。（

Chrysostom , the ancient Church Father, was a beautiful example of true Christian courage. When he stood before the Roman Emperor, he was threatened with banishment if he still remained a Christian. Chrysostom replied, “You cannot, for the world is my Father's house; you cannot banish me.”

“But I will slay you,” said the Emperor.

“No, but you cannot,” said the noble champion of the faith again, “for my life is hid with Christ in God.”

“I will take away thy treasures.” “No, but you cannot,” was the retort; “in the first place, I have nothing you know anything about. My treasure is in heaven, and my heart is there.”

“But I will drive you away from man, and you shall have no friend left.” “No, and that you cannot,” once more said the faithful witness, “for I have a Friend in heaven from whom you shall not separate me. I defy you; there is nothing you can do to hurt me.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths Copyright # 122)
-----

創世記 1:1 1:1說什麼那些誰解釋現實，除了個人的，無限的上帝？
*對於無神論者，它說創造是神的工作。
*對於多神它說只有一個上帝。
*對於泛神論它說，上帝是除了他的創作和獨立的。
*對於進化論者它說，宇宙是沒有創造和發展。
*對於唯物主義它說，這事不是永恆的，但本身就是創造。
*為它說的存在主義者創造了一個目的。

Genesis 1:1 What does 1:1 say to those who interpret reality apart from a personal, infinite God?
* To the atheist it says that Creation was the work of God.
* To the polytheist it says there is only one God.
* To the pantheist it says that God is apart from and independent of his creation.
* To the evolutionist it says that the universe was created and did not evolve.
* To the materialist it says that matter is not eternal but was itself created.
* To the existentialist it says creation has a purpose. (from Willmington's Bible Handbook)
-----

馬丁路德已經三天陷入黑暗和鬱抑不愉快的情緒中。到了第三天，他的妻子穿著喪服下樓。他問妻子:「是誰死了？」。她回答說:「是神。」路德斥責她說: 「你是什麼意思，神怎會死了？神不可能死的。」她答道:「嗯，那麼是你的表現令我肯定神已經死了！」

Martin Luther once spent three days in a black depression over something that had gone wrong. On the third day his wife came downstairs dressed in mourning clothes. “Who’s dead?” he asked her. “God,” she replied. Luther rebuked her, saying, “What do you mean, God is dead? God cannot die.” “Well,” she replied, “the way you’ve been acting I was sure He had!”
-----

某間大學的一位教授是以對基督徒學生特別嚴厲有名。每個學期的第一堂課總會針對基督徒學生開玩笑，貶低他們的信仰。有一個學期，這位教授問有沒有基督徒在座，有一個年輕人舉起手，這位教授問、」年輕人，上帝是否創造了萬物？」，年輕人回答　」是的。」
教授問」如果上帝創造了萬物，那末上帝也創造了罪惡；如果上帝創造了罪惡，那末上帝就是罪惡」，年輕人無法回答，這位教授很高興地再次證明了基督徒的信仰是一個神話。
那時有一個人舉手說，」老師，我可以問一些問題嗎？」，教授回答，」可以」。年輕人站起來說，」老師，有沒有’冷’這麼回事？」
」當然有，這是什麼問題，你不覺得有過冷嗎？」
年輕人回答，」老師，事實上’冷’並不存在。我們之所以會感覺到’冷’ ，是因為缺少了’熱’ ，絕對零度是因為絕對沒有’熱’ 所造成的， ’冷’事實上並不存在。我們用’冷’這個名詞來形容沒有’熱’ 所造成的現象」
年輕人繼續說，」老師，有沒有’暗’這麼回事？」
「當然有」，教授回答，年輕人說，「事實上’暗’並不存在。 ’暗’是因為缺少了’光’ ，我們用’暗’這個名詞來形容沒有’光’ 所造成的現象」　
最後，年輕人問，「有沒有’罪惡’這麼回事」
「當然，這個世界到處都有強姦，殺人，暴力」，這些都是罪惡。「教授回答。
年輕人說，」老師，事實上’罪惡’並不是一種本質，乃是上帝所創造好的本質被腐化而產生的。罪惡就像是車子長的鏽或是樹木的腐爛，乃是因為缺少了’善’ 。罪惡就像是手臂上的傷口或是衣服上被蟲蛀的洞，它們的存在並不是一種本質。
上帝並未創造了罪惡。它不像是真理，愛，是一種’善’的本質，就像是光和熱。罪惡只是因為沒有了’善’ ，就像是沒有了’熱’ 的’冷’，沒有了’光’ 的’暗’ 。
教授聽了，無言以對。

At a certain college, there was a professor with a reputation for being tough on Christians. At the first class every semester, he asked if anyone was a Christian and proceeded to degrade and make fun of their belief. One semester, he asked the question and young man raised his hand when asked if anyone was a Christian. The professor asked “Did God make everything, young man?” “Yes he did sir,” the young man replied.

The professor responded, “If God made everything, then God made evil, and if we can only create from within ourselves, then God is evil.” The student didn’t have a response and the professor was happy to have once again proved the Christian faith to be a myth.

Then another man raised his hand and asked “May I ask you something, sir?” “Yes you may,” responded the professor. The young man stood up and said, “Sir, is there such thing as cold?” “Of course there is, what kind of a question is that? Haven’t you ever been cold?”

The young man replied, “Actually, sir, cold does not exist. What we consider to be cold, is really only the absence of heat. Absolute zero is when there is absolutely no heat, but cold does not really exist. We have only created that term to describe how we feel when heat is not there.” The young man continued, “Sir, is there such thing as dark?” Once again, professor responded, “Of course there is.”

And once again, the student replied, “Actually sir, darkness does not exist.” “Darkness is really only the absence of light. Darkness is only a term man developed to describe what happens when there is no light present.” Finally, the young man asked, “Sir, is there such thing as evil?” The professor responded, “Of course, we have rapes, and murders and violence everywhere in the world, those things are evil.”

The student replied, “Actually, sir, “Evil is not a substance but a corruption of the good substance that God made. Evil is like rust to a car or rot to a tree. It is a lack in good things, but it is not a thing in itself. Evil is like a wound in an arm or moth-holes in a garment. It exists only in another but not in itself. God did not create evil. It isn’t like truth, or love, which exist as virtues like heat and light. Evil is simply the state where Good is not present, like cold without heat or darkness without light.” The professor had nothing to say.
-----

One sunrise two neighboring farmers set out for market in town. Their wagons were pile high with tomatoes that would ripen quickly in the hot noonday sun, so they pushed their horses steadily all morning, not wanting their precious cargoes to spoil on the way.

But the poor beasts were tired by the time they reached the steepest hill outside town, and staring as they might, they could not get up the slope. The wagons sat at the bottom of the hill, with the climbing sun beating down mercilessly.

“There’s nothing to do but let them rest,” said the first farmer, shrugging.” And come to think of it, I could use a little siesta myself. We’ve been on the road since sunup. I think I’ll lie under this tree for a while.”

“But you can’t!” his companion exclaimed. “By the time you wake up, your load will be ruined.”

“Don’t worry, my friend. God will provide. He always does. I’ll just say a few prayers before I doze off.” He rolled over on his side with a yawn.

The second farmer, meanwhile, strode to the back of his wagon and, putting his shoulder to the rear, began to shove as hard as he could. He yelled at his horse to pull forward, but to no avail. He pushed till the veins stood out on his neck, and he cursed at the top of his lungs, but his cart ascended that hill not one inch.

Just then the Lord and Saint Peter passed along the road as they sometimes did, for often they walk abroad in order to look into men’s hearts. The Lord saw the frantic, swearing farmer struggling with his load. He smiled and laid a kind hand on the wheel, and at once the cart rose to the top of the hill.

The Lord passed on with Saint Peter at his side. The Gatekeeper’s gaze bent downward as if pondering their every step.

“I don’t understand,” he said at last. “Why did you help that man? Even as we came upon him, we heard him cursing most irreverently. And yet you did not help his friend, who offered his prayers for your help.”

The Lord smiled.

“The man I help curse, it’s true, but not with his heart. That is just the way he talks to his horse. In his heart, he was thinking fondly of his wife and children and aged parents, who depend on his labor and need him to return with some profit for his toil. He would have stayed there pushing all day. His friend, on the other hand, calls on me only when he believes he needs me. What he thinks of is sleep. So let him have his nap.” (William J. Bennett, The Moral Compass)
-----

聖經課的老師在教授一系列關於神是無所不能的課堂後，她考問班上的學生問道:「究竟有什麼是神不能做的？」大家都沉默起來。最後，一個小伙子舉起他的手。老師為大家已經錯過所教導的內容感到失望，無可奈何地問:「嗯，到底有哪一樣是神不能做？」有一男孩回答:「嗯，他不能討每個人開心。」

A Bible class teacher was examining her pupils after a series of lessons on God’s omnipotence. She asked, “Is there anything God can’t do?” There was silence. Finally, one lad held up his hand. The teacher disappointed that the lesson’s point had been missed, asked resignedly, “Well, just what is it that God can’t do?”
“Well,” replied the boy, “He can’t please everybody.”
-----

有一位無神論者向基督徒朋友抱怨，「你們基督徒有許多特別的節日如聖誕節、復活節，猷太人有逾越節和贖罪日，回教徒也有他們的節日，每一種宗教都有；但是我們無神論者就沒有一個被認可的節日，這是很不公平的歧視。」
朋友回答，「你是什麼意思，無神論者沒有特別的節日，多少年來人們觀察到有一個特別的日子是為你們設立的。」
無神論者說「我不知道你在說什麼，這一個特別為無神論者設立的是什麼日子？」
「四月一日。」

An atheist complained to a Christian friend, “Christians have their special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter; and Jews celebrate their holidays, such as Passover and Yom Kippur; Muslims have their holidays. EVERY religion has its holidays. But we atheists,” he said, “have no recognized holidays. It’s an unfair discrimination.”
“What do you mean, atheists have no holidays,” his friend replied, “People have
been observing a special day in your honor for years.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the atheist said, “When is this special day honoring atheists?”
“April first.”
-----

我們再也不需要祢了
有一天一群科學家聚在一起並決定他們已夠老到不再需要上帝了，所以他們推舉一位去告訴祂說他們不需要神了。
這位科學家走到神的面前告訴祂「上帝！我們決定我們不需要祢了。我們已知道如何複製人，並且能作奇妙的事，所以請便吧！」
上帝很耐心也很仁慈地聽着，等到這位科學家說完要離去時，上帝說「很好！看着辦吧！」
「我們來一個造人比賽，怎麼樣？」「好啊！」
上帝補充說「現在，我們要做個如當年我造亞當的人」。
科學家說「當然！沒問題」然後從地上抓一把泥土。
上帝說，「不，不，不‧你拿你自己做的泥土！」
-----

在一個節日期間、寒冷的傍晚，一個小男孩大約六，七歲，站在礦石的窗前。這個小男孩，並沒有鞋子穿，而他的衣服僅僅是破碎布衣。

一名年輕女子路過，看到小男孩，並從他那蒼白臉色、藍眼睛裡、能夠意識到他所嚮往的眼神，她牽著小男孩的手，並帶他進入商店。她給他買雙新鞋和一套完整的可禦寒衣褲。

他們回來後到外面街上，該女子對小男孩說，「現在你可以回家，願你有一個非常快樂的節日。」

小男孩抬頭看着她，並問她：「你是神嗎，夫人？」她笑着看著他，回答說：『不是，孩子，我只是他的一個孩子。』

小男孩接著說，「我知道，你們一定有一些關係」

One cold evening during the holiday season, a little boy about six or seven was standing out in front of a ore window. The little child had no shoes on and his clothes were mere rags.
A young woman passing by saw the little boy and could read the longing in his pale blue eyes. She took the child by the hand and led him into the store. There she bought him new shoes and a complete suit of warm clothing.
They came back outside into the street and the woman said to the child, “Now you can go home and have a very happy holiday.”
The little boy looked up at her and asked, “are you God, Ma'am?” She smiled down at him and replied, “No son, I'm just one of His children.”
The little boy then said, “I knew you had to be some relation.”
-----

一名無神論者向一個基督教的朋友抱怨，「你們基督徒有你的特別假日，像：聖誕節和復活節。猶太人慶祝他們的國定假日，像：逾越節和贖罪日。但是，我們無神論者有沒有公認的國定假日。它的不公平的歧視。」他的朋友回答說：「你為什麼不慶祝四月一號的愚人節？」

An atheist complained to a Christian friend, “You Christians have your special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter. Jews celebrate their national holidays, such as Passover and Yom Kippur. But we atheists have no recognized national holidays. It's unfair discrimination.”
His friend replied, “Why don't you celebrate April first?”
-----

有位老人坐在前門口看雨傾盆而下，雨水很快地漲高，漫過了他的前門進到屋內來。

當救援的船經過他家，救助人對他說，「你不能等在這裏，跟我們來吧！」這位老人還坐在那裏一動不動。他說：「不，上帝會救我。」所以船走了。

過了一會兒，雨水漲到二層樓高，另一艘救生船經過他家，船上的人告訴老人快點離開，上船來。老人還是回答說：「不，上帝會救我。」所以船又離開了。再過了一小時，水漲到了屋頂，第三隻船向老人駛來要救他，老人的回答還是一樣，拒絕離開：「不，上帝會救我。」所以船又開走了。過不多久，老人淹死了，去到了天堂。當他看見上帝時，他問道：「你為什麼不救我？」上帝回答說：「你這個傻瓜，我試過救你，我差遣三隻船來救你。」
-----

在一間天主教的小學中，學生們排隊拿午餐。因修女們人手不夠，在蘋果堆旁有一個牌子，寫著：「一人限拿一個（神再看喔）」

在桌子的尾端有一個堆滿巧克力餅乾的盤子，有一個小孩在旁也立了一個牌子：「盡量拿沒關係，神正在看守蘋果！」
-----

一位小朋想要一份聖誕禮物，他跟主禱告時說：
主啊，請你跟你的好朋友聖誕老公公說，這一年我都表現很好,請他送我一部腳踏車。」

隔天沒看到腳踏車的小朋友又禱告一次：「這一年我都盡量表現很好，請你的好朋友聖誕老公公送我一部腳踏車。」

結果第三天小朋友還是沒得到腳踏車，於是他到教會偷拿一尊聖母瑪麗亞的雕像藏在家裡床鋪下，並再次禱告：「主啊，如果你還想看到你媽媽的話，就叫你的好朋友聖誕老公公送我一部腳踏車。」
-----

有一位大學生在上哲學課，班上正在討論神是否存在的問題。教授的邏輯是﹕『班上有人聽過神講話嗎？』沒人說話。

『班上有人摸過神嗎？』也沒有人說話。

『有人見過神碼？』經過三次沒有人說話以後，教授直接說﹕『世上沒有神。』

這位學生對次不以為然，要求發言。教授說可以發言。於是這位學生站起來，問班上同學以下的問題﹕『班上有人聽過我們教授的大腦講話嗎？』無聲。

『班上有人摸過我們的教授的大腦嗎？』完全無聲。

『班上有人見過教授的大腦嗎？』全班無人敢說話，於是這位學生結論說﹕『那麼，根據教授的邏輯，我們的教授沒有大腦是真實的。』

A college student was in a Philosophy class, where a class discussion about whether or not God exists was in progress. The professor had the following logic: “Has anyone in this class heard God?” Nobody spoke.

“Has anyone in this class touched God?” Again, nobody spoke.

“Has anyone in this class seen God?” When nobody spoke for the 3rd time, he simply stated, “Then there is no GOD.”

The student did not like the sound of this at all, and asked for permission to speak. The professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates: “Has anyone in this class heard our professor's brain?” Silence.

“Has anyone in this class touched our professor's brain?” Absolute silence.

“Has anyone in this class seen our professor's brain?” When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, “Then, according to our professor's logic, it must be true that our professor has no brain!”
-----

小強一個人躺在青草地上，望著藍天白雲在深思。他開始思想起神。

他高聲說﹕『神啊，你真的在這裏嗎？』

出乎意料地，從雲裏傳來聲音說﹕『是的，小強，你要我為你作什麼？』

小強立刻抓住機會問﹕『百萬年對你算什麼？』

神體恤小強不瞭解無限的概念，就用他能懂的語言回答說﹕『小強，百萬年對我就像一分鐘。』

『噢！』小強說﹕『那麼百萬美金對你算什麼呢？』

『百萬美金對我就像一分錢。』

『哦！』小強突發奇想﹕『你真慷慨，可以給我一分錢嗎？』

神回答說，『可以的，小強，請等一分鐘。』

Little Johnny was lay on a hill in the middle of a meadow on a warm spring day. Puffy white clouds rolled by and he pondered their shape. Soon, he began to think about God.

“God? Are you really there?” Johnny said out loud.

To his astonishment a voice came from the clouds. “Yes, Johnny? What can I do for you?”

Seizing the opportunity, Johnny asked, “God? What is a million years like to you?”
Knowing that Johnny could not understand the concept of infinity, God responded in a manner to which Johnny could relate. “A million years to me, Johnny, is like a minute.”

“Oh,” said Johnny. “Well, then, what's a million dollars like to you?”

“A million dollars to me, Johnny, is like a penny.”

“Wow!” remarked Johnny, getting an idea. “You're so generous... can I have one of your pennies?”

God replied, “Sure thing, Johnny! Just a minute.”
-----

採訪神

神問道：你想採訪我嗎？
　　
我說：我很想採訪你，但不知道你是否有時間。
　　
神笑道：我的時間是永恆的。你有什麼問題嗎？
　　
我說：你感到人類最奇怪的是什麼？
　　
神答道：他們厭倦童年生活，急於長大，而後又渴望返老還童。他們犧牲自己的健康來換取金錢，然後又犧牲金錢來恢復健康。他們對未來充滿憂慮，但卻忘記現在；於是，他們既不生活於現在之中，又不生活於未來之中。他們活著的時候好像永不會死去，但死去以後又好像從未活過。

神握住我的手，我們沉默了片刻。
　　
我又問道：作為長輩，你有什麼經驗想要告訴子女的？

神笑道：他們應該知道不可能取悅於所有人。他們所能做到的只是讓自己被人所愛。他們應該知道，一生中最有價值的不是擁有什麼東西，而是擁有什麼人。他們應該知道，與他人攀比是不好的。他們應該知道，富有的人並不擁有最多，而是需要最少。他們應該知道，要在所愛的人身上造成深度創傷只要幾秒鐘，但是治療創傷則要花上幾年時間。他們應該學會寬恕別人。他們應該知道，有些人深深的愛著他們但卻不知道如何表達自己的感情。他們應該知道金錢可以買到任何東西，卻買不到幸福。他們應該知道，得到別人的寬恕是不夠的，他們也應當寬恕自己。
-----

Quotes引證 :
In whatever man does without God, he must either fail miserably, or succeed more miserably. George MacDonald

God is willing to work for us if we are willing for Him to work in us and through us. Warren Wiersbe

Without God, I cannot. Without me, He will not.

God does not exist to solve our problems.

Miracles are not a contradiction of nature. They are only in contradiction to what we know of nature. Augustine

The three most dreaded words are thou shalt not. Notice they are not atheists -- they are saying I don't want to be told what to do with my life. William Donohue

**********************************************************

GOVERNMENT 政府
自由退款
一場有五十萬觀眾的棒球賽事，因天雨取消而需要退款。球隊即將發出退款時，有人制止了，並建議球隊按他們定義的公平發還退款。畢竟，若退款是按各人所付的票價而定，大部分錢會分到富人手上。
他們的建議是：
- 買10美元門票的觀眾可得15美元，因為他們可花費的不多。
- 買15美元門票的觀眾可得15美元，因為這就是公平。
- 買25美元門票的觀眾可得1美元，因為他們已經有很多錢，不需要退款。
- 買50美元豪華位門票的觀眾得多付50美元，因為他們有太多錢花費了。
- 駕車駛經球場但花不起錢看球賽的人，每人可得10美元。即使他們沒有任何付出，但他們是最需要幫助的。

Liberal Refund
Fifty thousand people go to a baseball game, but the game was rained out and a refund was due. The team was about to send out refunds when someone stopped them and suggested that they send out refund amounts based on the their interpretation of fairness. After all, if the refunds were made based on the price each person paid for the tickets, most of the money would go to the richest people.
Their plan says:
- People in the $10 seats will get back $15, because they had less money to spend.
- People in the $15 seats will get back $15, because that’s only fair.
- People in the $25 seats will get back $1, because they already make a lot of money and don’t need a refund.
- People in the $50 luxury seats will have to pay another $50, because they already have way too much money to spend.
- People driving by the stadium who couldn’t afford to watch the game will get $10 each, even though they didn’t pay anything in, just because they need the most help.
-----

Al Gore is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box. Curious he runs over to the child and says, “What’s in the box kid?”
The little boy says, “Kittens, they’re brand new kittens.”
Al Gore laughs and says, “What kind of kittens are they?”
“Democrats,” the child says.
“Oh that’s cute,” Al Gore says and he runs off.
A couple of days later Al Gore is running with his buddy Bill Clinton and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead.
Al Gore says to Bill, “You gotta check this out” and they both jog over to the boy with the box.
Al Gore says, “Look in the box Bill, isn’t that cute? Look at those little kittens. Hey kid tell my friend Bill that kind of kittens they are.”
The boy replies, “They’re Republicans.”
“Whoa!” Al Gore says, “I came by here the other day and you said they were Democrats. What’s up?”
“Well,” the kid says, “Their eyes are open now.”
-----

發大夢/ 春秋大夢/ 夢‧想
美國總統、英國首相和共產黨領導人會面，談起他們各自做過的夢。美國總統說：「我夢見自己成為世界總統。」英國首相笑了笑，說：「我也夢到自己成為了世界首相。」共產黨領導人喊道：「真有趣，我記不起我曾任命過你們兩位！」

Big Dreams
The President of the United States, the Prime Minister of England, and the Communist leader met and started discussing the dreams they had. The President of the U.S. said: “I dreamed that I was made President of the World.”
The Prime Minister of England laughed and said: “I too dreamed I was made Prime Minister of the World.”
The Communist leader cried: “That’s funny. I have no recollection of appointing either of you!”
-----

當旅客進入小城鎮的酒吧，顧客是看總統新聞發布會上電視。局外人聽了幾分鐘，然後脫口而出：「孩子，比爾克林頓肯定的是馬的後方。」
突然間，幾乎每個人在酒吧毆打他到紙漿。深感不安，對陌生人站起身來，叫道，「哇，這一定是克林頓的國家。」
「不，」酒保回答。「馬國」。

When the traveler entered the small-town bar, patrons were watching a presidential news conference on TV. The outsider listened for a few minutes, then blurted out: “Boy, Bill Clinton sure is a horse’s rear.”

Suddenly, nearly every person in the bar beat him to a pulp. Dismayed, the stranger got up and exclaimed, “Wow, this must really be Clinton country.”
“Nope,” responded the bartender. “Horse country.”
-----

教宗訪問美國時，和克林頓總統整整開了兩天的會而不是表定的一個小時。終於面帶倦容的克林頓總統出現在久候的媒體前面，總統笑著宣布這一次高峰會非常成功，他和教宗達成了百分之八十的共識，然後他宣佈要回去白宮和家庭團聚。
幾分鐘後教宗出現發表聲明，他看起來很累又沮喪，眼睛裏含著淚水，傷心地的宣佈，他和克林頓總統的會議是一個失敗且令人難以相信的。
一位記者發問，「陛下，克林頓總統宣布這一次高峰會非常成功，達成了所討論議題百分之八十的共識」，教宗惱火的回答，「是的，但是我們談論的是十戒。」

During his visit to the United States the Pope met with President Clinton. Instead of just an hour as scheduled, the meeting went on for two days. Finally, a weary President Clinton emerged to face the waiting news media. The President was smiling and announced the summit was a resounding success. He said he and the Pope agreed on 80% of the matters they discussed. Then Mr. Clinton declared he was going home to the White House to be with his family. A few minutes later the Pope came out to make his statement. He looked tired, discouraged and was practically in tears. Sadly he announced his meeting with the President was a failure. Incredulous, one reporter asked, “But your Holiness, President Clinton just announced the summit was a great success and the two of you agreed on 80% of the items discussed”. Exasperated, the Pope answered, “Yes, but we were talking about the Ten Commandments.”
-----

年邁的父母,擔心跟他們同住的兒子, 一直對自己的前途拿不定主意, 他們就想出一個計謀來探尋.
他們放了一張字條在桌上說他們要離家外出, 又放了10元的現金, 一本聖經及一瓶威士忌酒在旁邊.然後就躲藏起來.
這父親對他的老伴說:若我們的兒子拿了那10塊錢,他就會成為商人;若他取了聖經, 他就將成為一個牧師;但若他拿了威士忌酒, 我怕他會是一個無所成就的醉漢
當他們躲在衣櫥裡, 從鑰匙眼往外看時, 見到他們的兒子回來了, 他讀了那字條.
接著, 他拿起那張10元的鈔票, 塞進了褲袋裡, 然後, 他拿起聖經, 順手翻了翻, 就把它夾在腋下,
最後, 他一把拿起了酒瓶, 打開蓋子, 滿意的,深深的聞了一聞; 他帶著這三樣東西走向自己的房間.
老父舉起手拍著自己的額頭, 說:真糟糕！他比我想像的更差！
老妻急忙問道: 為什麼?
「因為我們的兒子將成為一名政客.」

An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career. So they decided to do a small test.

They put a note on the front hall table that they had left. Around the note they put a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey. Then they hid, pretending they were not at home.

The father told his wife, “If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the Bible, he will be a pastor, but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I’m afraid our son will be a no-good drunkard.”

So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. The son read the note that they had left. Then he took the ten-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket.

After that, he took the Bible, flipped through it, and put it under his arm. Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all three items.

The father slapped his forehead and said: “This is worse than I could ever have imagined!”

“What?! asked the wife.

“Our son is going to be a politician!”
-----

小明和幾個男生在操場上吹牛。每人都炫耀自己老爸有多偉大。一個說﹕『我老爸跑得最快。他可以在射箭以後開始跑。我不騙你，他比箭還先到！』

令一個說﹕『哈！那有什麼了不起！我老爸是打獵手。他可以先開槍，卻是比子彈先抵達！』

小明聽完兩人將的，直搖頭。然後他說﹕『你們兩人對”快”是孤陋寡聞。我老爸是一個公務員。他四點半下班，三點45分就到家了！』

Little Johnny was talking to a couple of boys in the schoolyard. Each was bragging about how great their fathers are.

The first one said: “Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow!”

The second one said: “Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet!”

Little Johnny listened to the other two boys and shook his head. He then said: “You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30,... and he's home by 3:45!”
-----

一群政客開車到一條鄉間小路，一不小心車子滑出了路面，撞上一棵樹，掉到一塊老農夫的田裏，這老農夫見狀，便上前一探究竟，就挖了個動把他們全埋了。幾天後，警察看到這部撞爛的車子，便問這個老農夫說；『他們全死了嗎？』這個老農夫說；『有些說他們沒死，但你也知道政客是老說謊的。』

A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road when all of a sudden the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.

The old farmer after seeing what happened went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.

A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and then asked the old farmer, “Were they ALL dead?”

The old farmer replied, “Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie.”
-----

在鄰居家裡的派對上，我和范喬治因為總統的政策槓上了，最後他問我為什麼對共和黨如此死忠。

我告訴他因為我爸，我爺都是共和黨員，我乃承接了家庭的優良傳統。

「這算是那門道理？如果你爸和你爺都是偷雞模狗之輩怎麼辦？」

「那，我想我可能就像你一樣是一名道地的民主黨員了。」

During a neighborhood party here, I got into an argument with my neighbor, Van, about presidential politics. Finally, he asked me why I was such a dedicated Republican.

I told him that my Father and Grandfather were Republicans before me and that I was carrying on the family tradition.

“That's it?” said my exasperated neighbor. “What if your Father and Grandfather had been horse thieves?”

“Well...” I replied, “I suppose then I'd be a Democrat like you.”
-----

一個小男孩急需100塊錢，他的媽媽告訴他說去求上帝，他禱告了二個禮拜，但是都沒結果，於是他便寫一封信給上帝去要100塊錢，當郵局收到這封要寄到上帝那的信，他們打開看就決定寄去給總統，總統讀了印象深刻，很受感動，所以他就叫秘書寄5塊錢給這小男孩，他覺得5塊錢對這小男孩已經很多了，這小男孩收到5塊錢很高興，於是他又提筆寫了一封謝謝的信給上帝說；『親愛的上帝，很謝謝你給的5塊錢，我查覺到你是經由華盛頓送了這筆錢，但那些笨人一如往長扣了95塊錢，但無論如何，謝謝你。』

A little boy needed $100.00 very badly and his mother told him to pray to God for it. He prayed and prayed for two weeks, but nothing turned up. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, they opened it and decided to send it to the President. The President was so impressed, touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy $5.00. He thought $5.00 would be lot of money to the little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5।00 and sat down to write a thank you letter to God, which read as follows: Dear God, Than you very much for sending the money. I noticed that You had to send it through Washington; as usual, those morons deducted $95.00. Thanks anyway!
-----

華盛頓的幽魂一天晚上，柯林頓總統在白宮被喬治˙華盛頓總統的幽魂叫醒。柯林頓問說：『喬治，我能夠做什麼事是最能夠幫助美國的呢？』『立下一個既誠實又光榮的榜樣，像我一樣』喬治如此地建議。隔天晚上，湯姆˙傑克森總統的幽魂飄過黑暗的臥室。柯林頓就問：『湯姆，我能夠做什麼事是最能夠幫助美國的呢？』湯姆建議說：『減稅，並且精簡政府人事。』再隔天晚上，柯林頓睡得不好，並且看到另外一個行影在陰暗中移動。那是林肯總統的幽魂。柯林頓仍問：『林肯啊，我能夠做什麼事是最能夠幫助美國的呢？』『去戲院吧！』（譯者註：林肯總統在戲院中被刺殺）

One night, Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House. “George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?” Clinton asked. “Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,” advised George. The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. “Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?” Clinton asked. “Cut taxes and reduce the size of government,” advised Tom. Clinton didn't sleep well the next night and saw another figure moving in the shadows. It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost. “Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?” Clinton asked. “Go to the theater.”
-----

Quotes引證 :
“A democracy is a form of government where one party doesn’t do things as they ought to be done, and the other party tells how much better they would be done if it were in power.” (More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)

Diplomacy has been defined as the art of letting someone else have your way.
(More Toasts, Gertrude Stein)

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

Canada was supposed to get British government, French culture, and American know-how. Instead, it got French government, American culture, and British know-how.

Being Politically Correct means always having to say you’re sorry.

A Republican is a Democrat who got rich.

Do not criticize your government when out of the country. Never cease to do so when at home. Winston Churchill

Don’t vote. It only encourages them. Bumper sticker

**********************************************************

GREED 貪心
一天，在斯普林菲爾德裡，林肯的一個鄰居被孩子的哭聲音吸引。他看見林肯和他的兩個孩子經過，而兩個兒子都在大哭。「這些孩子怎麼了？」鄰居問。「和全世界的事情都一樣！」林肯回答：「有3個胡桃，並且每個男孩都想拿二個」。

One day, in Springfield, a neighbor of Lincoln's was drawn to his door by the sound of crying children. He saw Lincoln passing by with his two sons both crying lustily. “What is the matter with the boys?” asked the man. “The same that is the matter with the whole world!” answered Lincoln. “I have three walnuts, and each boy wants two.” (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 340)
-----

Leo Tolstoy, the famous Russian writer, had a deep insight into human nature. In one of his books he speaks of a Russian peasant who was told that he could have all the land he could measure by walking in one day, from sunrise to sunset. The agreement stipulated that by sundown he must be back at his starting point. The man envisioned great holdings. Early in the morning he began walking; but as he realized that every foot of land on which he stepped belonged to him, he began to run at a feverish pace. The agreement stipulated that by sundown he must have returned to his starting point. His greed was so great, however, that more than half his time had elapsed before he turned back. He had to run at top speed to beat the setting sun. It was a real struggle. If he were not at the appointed place, he would lose all. He finally made it. But even as his foot touched the starting point, he fell dead from exhaustion. All that he gained in the end was sufficient land for his dead body—six feet of earth. That was his final inheritance. (from Illustrations of Bible Truths # 341).
-----

美國一個銀行發生搶劫案，搶匪才剛把錢藏好，就被警長逮捕了。由於搶匪是印地安人，不會講英文，警長只好去請翻譯官來幫忙翻譯。

經過一陣疲勞轟炸式的拷問，搶匪還是堅持不肯說出錢藏在那裡。沒有辦法，警長只好扮起黑臉，咆哮地告訴翻譯官：「告訴搶匪，再不說，就把他斃了！」

翻譯官忠實地把警長的意思傳達出去，大概翻譯得太好了，搶匪嚇得語無倫次的說：『錢藏在鎮中央的井裡，求你叫他饒我一命。』

翻譯官神情凝重地告訴警長：「這小子真有種，寧死不招。他叫你斃了他吧！！」